Signed, Shinji Ikari

by SunTzuPatience

Signed, Shinji Ikari. Journal entries from Shinji himself. What happens with his relationship, or his feelings? TW: SUICIDE IN LATER CHAPTERS, I hope it's not too dark later on, but it is going to be dark. Shinji breaks . I hope you can enjoy. This is my second fic, R & R! Ignore the first A/N in chapter 1, there will be 2 chapters only. Story was too sad for me to do 4 chapters.

1. Chapter 1: I Love Her

Chapter 1: I Love Her

NOTE: THIS STORY WILL HAVE SHORTER CHAPTERS, there is only going to be 4 chapters. I'm working on a Pilots Have Feelings Too Sequel! Enjoy This short story.

Hello. This is Shinji Ikari, Third Children, Designated Pilot of Unit-01. This is my journal, this is where I'll be writing my feelings or thoughts.

ENTRY 1

5/10/2015

Dear Journal,

I have lived with my guardian, Misato. Around 2 weeks ago, Asuka was added to our small household. She's, well a bitch. I'm scared of her honestly. But despite that, I kinda like her. I dig her, she has her moments. She is the popular girl in school, every boy has their attention on her. I'm scared to even talk to her. She may be right, I am a wimp. We fought an angel together, on the battleship Over The Rainbow. First time two pilots were in the same evangelion unit.

Maybe she would take notice of me, but I'm shy. The most she communicates with me is when she is yelling at me to make her food. I just wish she would make an effort to be nicer to me. FIghting the angels is hard enough on my noggin as it is. That may just be me though. Even if she just says thank you for once. She just snatches the food I make and eats it. She doesn't do anything else. Atleast Misato appreciates me enough to not beat me every night 'for fun'. Maybe I'll ask her out, probably won't happen.

Signed, Shinji Ikari

ENTRY 2

5/28/2015

I came back from school today, no homework. That was nice of the teacher. There hasn't been an angel attack in a couple weeks, trying to stay positive. I only really have my SDAT player since Misato goes to work for crazy hours. Asuka stays in her room too, mostly calling her friends. The SDAT player I have is old, I only have one tape since they don't make it anymore. 15 tracks on my one mixtape is what repeats. I hum the songs in order perfectly. I've heard it too many times. It was my mothers, my father gave it to me before he abandoned me.

I just want to not exist, so many people just don't want me here. Asuka didn't ask me for dinner tonight. She made me dinner actually. Tasted like shit. Think I might just stay in the kitchen. I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch sometime. She scoffed at me then slapped me. Face kinda hurts now, my heart does too. I got a sleepover with Toji tonight, I'll write again when I get back. Maybe later, I never know. That's what Asuka says at least.

Signed, Shinji Ikari

Entry 3

5/29/2015

The sleepover was fun, we took a plate of shaving cream and slammed it into Kensuke's face. He made the mistake of falling asleep first. Kensuke's face made it. It was perfect. We ended up watching shitty horror movies that were more funny than scary. We're goofs, I don't care what Asuka says. God, I'm always thinking of her, even when she would kill me if she was allowed to. Toji started dating the class rep recently. Asuka has been pissed at Toji, yelling at him any chance she gets. The class rep cut ties with Asuka, I was there for the fight. They were screaming insults and I've never seen the class rep raise her voice. Asuka has been venting to me everyday, it's honestly annoying.

I heard her freak out in her room, it was not pretty. I'm pretty sure she threw her mattress at the wall. She isn't taking anything well. Shit, it fucking hurts to listen to. I had a flower pot thrown at me just because I was asking what time it was. I have a couple of wounds from that as well. Misato has been trying to vanquish the red demon that lives in our home. Rei invited me over to her house, confused I am. It would be nice to get some rest, or maybe time to relax. I'll take her up on that offer for now. I started reading a manga, it was based on the angels. It really sucks, inaccurate. I guess that means that NERV is good at hiding the info.

I think that Asuka needs some time to relax too. I think I might go on a vacation if anybody would let me. God knows the pilots seriously need some relaxation and alone time. To be kids. I think I'm gonna give the manga to like Toji or some shit. He'll get a kick out of it. You know what I just realized? If Asuka gets a hold of this, I'm dead meat. I love her kinda, again it's a weird relationship. Maybe she would be nicer to me. At the time of writing this, I have to head to Ayanami's house.

Signed, Shinji Ikari

Entry 4

6/01/15

Ended up staying at Ayanami's for a bit. I got away from Asuka, talking to somebody who at least would call me a human being. We talked a lot about simple stuff. Emotions, she asked I think. I explained all of them, then I got to love. I explained it to her, and then just replied to me. Dead face, no emotion. I guess that means I love you? She told me. I was honestly confused, I don't know what to say. She looks a lot like me in a sense. Shrugged to her, I don't know how to respond to her. I guess my emotions have been easier since writing in this journal. She really made me open my eyes to the fact that I am anti-social. I never really thought about emotions until I explained them to somebody else.

I came back home to the devil at my doorstep. Literally, not even a saying. Asuka was there, before I could talk, I felt a lot of pain on my face. I am getting very tired of her beating me, I'm not a masochist. I'm gonna ask Asuka out soon, on a good day maybe. It's like 4 in the morning, I should get some sleep so I don't fall asleep in the middle of an angel attack. Good night, well me.

Signed, Shinji Ikari

Entry 5

6/6/2015

It's my birthday. It's like 11 pm, about to not be my birthday. Today was better than most birthdays. It wasn't too good though. Toji and Kensuke came over, brought me some new mixtapes for my SDAT. I think Toji might be a wizard. Kensuke brought me a new camera that he got, so now I can put photos in the journal if I wanted to, probably not. Asuka was the worst today. I sat down on the couch with my buddies and we were chilling, playing street fighter. Asuka just randomly came in and kicked me in the shins. I have a recording here, if you ever see this, listen.

RECORDING

Shinji: Kensuke, jeez you gotta stop trying so hard, you're impossible to beat.

Kensuke: Never!

Toji: Hello, demon. How are you today?

Asuka: Good, Shinji, why are these idiots trespassing?

Shinji: I invited them over?

Toji: Bro, don't worry about it.

Shinji: Sorry, Asuka.

Kensuke and Toji: Huh!? It's not your fault.

Asuka: Idiots. Why did you invite them? I was bored today.

Shinji: Did you not look at the calendar, or listen to Misato all day?

Asuka: No, I'm not an idiot or a stooge.

Toji: I-, you gotta be kidding me Shinji.

CRACK

Shinji: Fucking shit! THE HELL?!

Toji: Ay! What the fuck was that for, crazy!?

Asuka: Not telling me in a timely manner.

Kensuke: It's the man's birthday! Give him a rest for a day.

Asuka: Well then, okay.

CRACK

Shinji: Ah! Fuck!

Asuka: Happy birthday.

Toji: Fuck off! How does this guy even withstand you for an hour? I gotta give it to ya buddy.

RECORDING ENDED

It was bad, Asuka kept coming in and messing our shit up. How much is it to get one day of relaxation in this house with her? I just wished she didn't hit me. Maybe a present? A kiss? No, no no no. Asuka, I don't know what I see in her. I still think she hates me. Maybe, just maybe.

Misato came home early with a nice cake, it was pretty great. I would have gotten seconds but Asuka stole 3 slices. Chocolate cake topped with fruits and strawberries. Misato yelled at Asuka, this camera really comes in handy.

RECORDING

Misato: It's his birthday!

Asuka: And?

Misato: Leave him some cake, god!

Asuka: I don't care, I'm hungry.

Misato: I'm this! I'm that! I don't care, it's his birthday.

Asuka: Fuck off.

CRACK

Misato: That's what you get, you spoiled piece of shit. God, your lucky Shinji tells me not to kick you out.

Shinji: Hey, don't tell-!

Asuka: Hm, idiot loves meee, awh, go fuck yourself you little shit.

RECORDING ENDED

God, that fucking sucked. It might be my worst birthday. I'm just sitting on my bed, chilling. Doing absolutely nothing but writing. Hold on, there's a knock on my door.

Signed, Shinji Ikari

ENTRY 5

6/07/15

It was Asuka at my door, it was honestly surprising. She actually apologized to me! Misato forced her though. Wooo, excitement. That was sarcasm if you couldn't tell. God, my writing is so corny. She put her hand on mine, and I pulled away. She pulled it back, continuing her speech on why I'm an idiot. I figured out how to tune her out though. She finished, leaving my room throwing insults on how I'm an oaf, the usual things that happen in this house. I don't know how long I can hold out. I got a text from Misato, another day of work for her.

Great, I'm asking her out tomorrow. She's trying to be better, I think. She's complicated. I'll think about how I'll ask. Direct? Playing it cool? I have 0 clues. She has a little personality every day.

I'm going to sleep.

Signed, Shinji Ikari…

TBC…

A/N: I usually have 2000+ words per chapter in my stories. Though, this is my 2nd fic. I hope you enjoy it. I'm not the biggest person for first person stories. If I don't continue this story and work on the sequel for my first fic, don't blame me pls. R & R please, I wanna see some reviews on my writing technique.