A/N: I've survived the first three months after having a baby, and little mini-robbie is finally getting a consistent bedtime. Not sleeping through the night, but he does at least understand that night time is for sleeping, waking up, eating, and then sleeping again. Which is enough progress for me to feel like a person and get back to this story! :D

Chapter 4: What Boys Want

Clint was sure that Tony and Jan's date had gone pretty darn well, because the next time he saw them, at James' first birthday party, they were orbiting each other. Which Clint thought was good. He'd hated seeing Jan get hurt, and after seeing how good Logan was at being a dad, Clint was warming up to the idea of finding good people to be with women who'd met losers before.

Katie, of course, was way less subtle about noticing the way Tony and Jan were acting around each other. She was all giggles and "told you so"s — but that was what little sisters did. They were just like that.

And speaking of little sisters… Clint had to laugh when he saw Rachel trying to keep Lizzie from crawling after James while James was playing with the wrapping paper of his presents. The kids were too young to know how to share, and Rachel wasn't old enough to do anything but pick her sister up around the middle and make distressed noises until Jean or Scott came to untangle the girls — all while James smiled at both of them encouragingly and Nate used the opportunity to steal wrapping paper for himself while everyone was distracted.

Billy and Tommy were trouble, too, because they had taken one look at the smash cake Jean bought for James and declared that they wanted smash cakes too. And, well, technically, that summer would be their first birthday, so they had a good argument to make — helped along by Katie, who kept insisting that they had to have the best first birthday ever because they had already missed so many.

It was, basically, chaos — but it was a fun kind of chaos that Clint could appreciate. More and more kids were showing up at the school, and it was kind of novel to be among the oldest. He was even old enough now that some of the other students were the same age.

He sat down next to his mom and handed her a piece of cake from the not-smashed cake. His was much bigger than hers, and she'd probably end up sharing it with one of the kids anyway, but he always wanted her to remember that he had her back, so he liked to get her food sometimes.

"You are the best kid," K told him. "And an amazing big brother."

"Jean says that too," Clint said, gesturing toward where the three Summers kids were now having a small fight. "We've got a lot of kids around now to watch out for, too."

"Yeah, you gotta watch that one," K said. "She's pretty baby crazy."

Clint turned her way with wide eyes and pretended to be shocked. "She is?"

"I know, right? Shocker."

Clint snickered and leaned back in his seat with his piece of cake. "Dad's been helping me train; did he tell you about how he's been teaching me exactly what not to say to Scott in a briefing? Because it's hilarious."

"As if my sweetheart would coach you on what not to do," she replied, smiling crookedly. "I'm sure that's the most detail you've heard in weeks, too."

"Oh yeah. I tried to ask some other stuff, and then I asked as a joke to teach me in reverse, and wouldn't you know it?" Clint grinned crookedly. "I think my favorite so far is 'okay but what's Plan 2 because this one's no good'."

"Yeah, I might have overheard him do exactly that … only he was down to Plan 7 and Scott was turning purple."

Clint grinned even wider, then glanced over at Jean, who was laughing. "We have an eavesdropper at six o'clock."

"She's always trying to learn how to be more like the cool kids," K replied easily.

Jean snorted from across the room, and Clint laughed, then turned toward K's plate. "Are you gonna finish your cake?"

"Knock yourself out, sweet-tooth."

"He knew you weren't gonna finish it in the first place," Katie pointed out as she came over and climbed into K's lap, parking herself on an adult as a way to get out of playing with the other kids when Tommy was being weird, in her opinion.

"We have an agreement about that," K told her as she wrapped one arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "You can steal most of my cake on your birthday, if you want."

"Yes, please," Katie said brightly, then made a face at Tommy when he came over. "I don't wanna play right now, Tomahawk. I'm snuggling."

"Whatcha up to, Tomcat?" K asked. "Cruising around and following all the pretty girls?"

"Uh-huh!" Tommy grinned at K enthusiastically. "Dad says you gotta tell pretty girls they're pretty. It's a rule."

"It's a good rule to remember," she agreed.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Mom, I don't wanna be pretty right now. I wanna be a 'Venger. He's bein' weird."

"Do you think I can't do both at once?"

"No," Katie admitted. "But that's not what we're playing!"

"I can threaten him," Clint said, sounding like it was the best possible option — and a present to him on his brother's birthday.

Katie giggled. "He's too new to threaten! That's like threatening a baby!"

"I'm not a baby," Tommy insisted, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. "I'm as big as you are!"

"Yeah, but you're not as old," K said, joining in the teasing just to get Katie giggling more.

Tommy looked betrayed. "But I'm not a baby. I'm not. I can walk and talk and — and Lizzie and Nate can't do those things and they're only a few months older!"

"It's just different rules," K told him. "Does Billy hate only being a year-ish old too?"

"Nope!" Billy sang out from where he was helping himself to more cake. "Summer birthday bash in a few months! Mom says we're getting a kiddie pool."

"And by 'kiddie pool' she means 'Stark's idea of a kiddie pool', so do with that what you will," Kurt chuckled, gently nudging Billy away from the cake so he didn't have any more sugar.

"Billy-boy," K called out to catch his attention. "Katie was just calling dibs on my cake for her next birthday ... you want to pick someone's birthday to steal my cake?"

Billy completely missed the dry look his dad was giving K over the top of his head. "Oooh, yes! Can I pick yours?"

"I don't know," K said, turning to Clint. "Can he pick mine?"

Clint sighed as if this was the greatest possible imposition. "I guess."

"Then you can have a latte with me that morning," K told him. "As your consolation prize."

Clint's whole expression shifted, and he bounced slightly on his toes. "Really?"

"Don't see why not," she replied. "You've been drinking a little of the regular brew for a while. You did like my latte last time I shared, didn't you?"

"Um, who doesn't like chocolate and caramel?" Clint said, scrunching up his nose.

"Oooh, I want some!" Katie said. "That sounds yummy!"

"You can taste one next time I get one," K promised.

"Oh! Oh! Me too!" Tommy said, bouncing up and down with his hand in the air as if he was trying to get called on. "Me too!"

"I'll buy an extra one when I get one for myself — and I'll pour it out in little tiny glasses for each of you if you want."

"You mean we get a latte and we get special us-sized glasses?" Billy looked like he was about to fall over with happiness. "For real?"

"Of course," K said with a grin, already plotting out how she was going to do it with shot glasses — purely for the looks the adults would all be wearing when they saw it. "It'll be fun."

"You're spoiling them," Kurt said, shaking his head — but if he was trying to be a stern parent, he was betrayed by his tail moving behind him in the lazy pattern it always did when he was entertained.

"You'll enjoy it too," she said, smiling up at him. She waved Billy over and pulled him into the snuggle — since Katie seemed to be okay with Billy at the moment. "Should we do it tomorrow?" K asked him at a stage whisper. "I can get up early and bring some home ... or … we could ask Logan to get it for us. I bet he will."

"Oooh, definitely," Billy said, his eyes wide as he nodded along with her. "Dad says if someone you love asks you for something, you should try to do it if you can because it shows you love them. So that means Logan's gotta."

"It doesn't mean you guilt trip them into it, though," K told him, shaking her head at his logic. "But it never hurts to ask."

Billy scrunched up his nose. "Um, why would you feel guilty about doing something nice for someone you love? That doesn't even make sense."

"If he has other things he needs to do, then it's alright to say no without feeling guilty about not doing something for me," K said. "Does that make sense?"

"I guess so," Billy said slowly, one eye closed. "Dad never says no to Mom, though."

"Logan doesn't say no either," K said. "And most of the time, he does things before I can even ask."

"He's so romantic," Katie sang out, complete with a dramatic little eyelash flutter.

Tommy gestured wordlessly at Katie as he met K's gaze, obviously making the case that he'd been trying to be romantic from the start.

K shook her head at him. "Everyone's a little different," she said as she held Tommy's gaze.

"Well, how do you know how different?" Tommy asked grumpily.

"You just have to get to know them," K said.

"Yeah, it's hard," Tommy sighed — and Billy slipped down out of K's lap to hug his brother, since he looked so crestfallen. He could sympathize; it was a lot harder to be a person when they hadn't had enough time to get used to life. It was even harder to navigate complicated emotions right off the bat.

"No," K said. "It just takes some time."

"I'm not very patient," Tommy grumbled.

Billy grinned and leaned toward K. "Mom taught us that word. She uses it a lot."

"Yeah, well, she's not very patient either," K told him at a mock whisper. "And your Dad … he's awful about patience. Most of the time."

Billy leaned forward to match her. "She says that too," he said, also speaking at a mock whisper.

"I'll bet she does. She could probably use some snuggles and spoiling too," she told him. "Maybe … you could bring her some ice cream and share with her. I bet she'd love it."

"Ooh, yes, she would!" Billy said, already rushing off to do just that, with Tommy right behind him insisting that he wanted to help too.

"Okay, Katie," K said, letting her volume drop so they wouldn't be overheard. "What did Tommy do?"

"We were playing 'Vengers, and it was my turn to be the bad guy, but he said I was too pretty to be the bad guy." She pulled a face. "It's not fair! It was my turn, and everyone else got to be heroes, so how come I can't let them take a turn too? I can do it! I'm not really a bad guy!"

"Well," K said, weighing it out. "It's not your fault that he doesn't see it like that. He just knows you're too pretty inside and out to be evil. He's not as old as he looks, remember. He has to learn. And learning that pretty girls can be evil too might be a really good lesson for him. But … I still don't want you to be mean to him just to teach him a lesson. Just take your turn next time — and if he argues it, capture him first. He can be your damsel in distress. See how he handles that."

Katie thought it over and then grinned crookedly. "He'd be a cute damsel," she decided.

"He'd probably get all ruffled about it, too." She kissed her head again. "If he thinks pretty girls can't be the bad guy, he probably thinks he can't be caught. And that would be a really good lesson for him to learn, right? So he doesn't get in trouble with Hydra guys or anyone like that."

Katie's eyes were wide as she nodded. "I don't want him to get in any trouble!" she said sincerely. "He's my friend, and I like him when he's not being weird."

"Oh, sweetheart. You better get used to weird," K told her. "You're going to have lots of boys being weird around you. They can't help it. They get around pretty, and their brains shut off."

"Yeah, like, think of Barney," Clint said with a crooked smile. "And Ana."

"Don't throw stones, handsome," K warned. "It will come back to bite you."

"No prospects, Mom. I'm too busy being awesome!" Clint called back.

"Yeah, I did that for a long time too … then 'long comes trouble …"

Katie giggled. "Yep. Dad says boys are trouble. That's true."

"He's the best kind of trouble, though," K told her.

"Um, no, I'm the best trouble," Katie said. "I'm a whole handful! You say so all the time!"

"You sure are," K agreed as she started tickling her. "A whole handful of sass."

Clint grinned as Katie squirmed and giggled until the tickling was over. He knew Katie was a handful because she was five, and that was a whole handful, but Katie sometimes missed that part of the joke. Then, once the two of them were settled out, he offered to take K's plate and his to the trash. "You're hilarious, Mom."

"It's a high bar, keeping up with you," she shot back.

"Yes. Yes, it is," Clint said, grinning before he headed back to the kitchen — not at all surprised to see that James had fallen asleep on Logan after all the excitement. "Mom's trying to teach Katie about boys already," he informed Logan as he threw away his plates.

"Why?" Logan asked, frowning at him.

"Tommy." Clint shrugged, knowing if he left his explanation short, the results would be funnier.

"Ah. Yeah, that'd do it," Logan said. "She'll be fine. Should be fun to see what she teaches her about boys. Probably somethin' to do with knockin' the wind out of their sails if they're bein' a pain."

"She says Katie should capture Tommy and make him be a damsel in distress next time they play Avengers," Clint said, still totally entertained by the mental image.

Logan chuckled at that, low and rumbling. "Yep. That'll do it alright."

"Mom made it sound like she needed to do it to keep him safe from getting scooped up by Hydra like she was that one time. Katie got all protective after that."

Logan was smiling to himself and nodding. "And she says I'm the troublemaker. She got anything else lined up with her following of half-grown trouble?"

"She's buying a latte and sharing it with all of us tomorrow just because Kurt tried to cut off the sugar," Clint whispered with one hand to his mouth.

"Makes perfect sense," Logan said, smiling outright. "Kurt and Wanda wanted to watch the kids tomorrow."

Almost on cue, Wanda made her way over to where Logan and Clint were chatting quietly. She looked as if she'd been having a great time, though it was clear she was looking for something. And that something was James — that much was obvious when she shifted around Logan to look at James as he slept peacefully on his dad's shoulder.

"If you wanted to take a minute with K—" Wanda started to say.

"I do, but that won't happen with the crowd," Logan said.

"I can hold him if you like," she offered, her hands already half lifted to pick him up.

But Logan shook his head and turned away from her. "Get your own."

She broke into a smile, already well-aware he was giving her a hard time about cheating and skipping all the tough stuff when it came to kids. "Oh come on."

"Hey. If you wanted a baby, you'd have wished for one. You wanted big kids. Took me friggin' forever to get a baby. You can get your own." His tone was pure teasing — but it was a line that Kurt had heard already a few times that day. "Even Jeannie bit the bullet. You're slackin' for not even tryin'."

"And you can't wish for a baby," Clint clarified, knowing exactly where his dad was going with the teasing and more than willing to help. "You gotta have a baby. No cheating!"

"You've got your kids helping you," Wanda laughed.

"I didn't recruit him," Logan said. "He's just got the sense to see it himself. Besides, princess, you're takin' all the fun out of it."

"The boys are fun," Wanda defended.

"Not what I meant and you know it," Logan replied. "Maybe they need a sister. Or a little brother. What do you think, Clint?"

"Yes."

"See?" Logan said. "Whatcha waitin' for?"

Wanda shook her head, though she was smiling. "You're in a good mood," she said instead of answering him. "We should let you fight the Hulk and then eat cake with your son every other weekend."

"Sure," he said. "I could use a stretch."

"And the Hulk is fun," Clint said. "I'm in!"

"Right after you figure out how afraid of natural-born twins you are in your family," Logan said as he and Clint started back toward K and Katie.

"You're terrible, you know that?" Wanda called after him.

"I've heard it already," Logan called back.

Clint snickered as he fell into step with Logan. This was, in his opinion, the best possible way to celebrate his little brother's first birthday.