Chapter 5: You're a Bad Guy

"I don't see what your issue is with this," K was saying to Tony. After the last attack — and after all the intel that she and Carol had gone through — she'd taken all of two minutes to convince Tony to work with her on making her a few customized items. He just didn't seem to realize that he'd agreed to customizing a few things for Clint, too. And K was happily setting him straight while teasing him relentlessly.

"My issue is that he hasn't hit puberty yet," Tony said, though he was smiling all the same — in part because K had shown up ready to distract and convince him. She and Clint both were going low key to keep from drawing any attention, but for her, that meant tight jeans and a tank top — and for Clint, it was a Hulk t-shirt that Bruce positively hated. But they looked like part of the crowd.

"I'm his mom. If I tell you he's responsible enough for small explosives, that's like hearing it from a higher power, right sweetheart?" K said, glancing over at Clint.

"Oh, definitely," Clint said, nodding along. "Gotta listen to Mom. It's a law. Look it up."

"See? Kid knows what he's talking about, Mr. Stark," K said, laying it on a little thicker just because she knew it would get to him. "Come on. I'll give you nefarious ideas that we can build off of for things that go boom."

"Small enough for arrows, please!" Clint sang out.

"I … I can't do that," Tony said, smiling and shaking his head at their persistence.

"So…" K tipped her head. "Tony, I really need some explosive arrowheads. For me. Totally for me."

"She does shoot," Clint supplied helpfully. "She taught me and Barney, you know."

"I did not," Tony said, looking between them. "Do I get a demo before I consider it?"

K turned to Clint with a sparkle of trouble dancing in her eyes. "What do you think, sweetheart?"

Clint tipped his head to the side and smirked. "If he thinks it'll help him ease his conscience about helping you…"

"I'm not sure it's his conscience that's talking," K whispered to Clint. "But the outcome is the same."

"Mom, Tony doesn't think I'm old enough for talk like that," Clint said with faked wide-eyed innocence.

"Which is probably why he talks that way anyhow," she said.

"Well, if I'm old enough to listen to him try to get in your pants, I'm old enough for explosives," Clint said decisively.

"That's like … eighty percent of my argument," K agreed.

"So he'll agree," Clint said, smirking hard when Tony looked exasperated and amused at the same time, since the two of them building off of each other was a sight to see too.

"You're not playing fair, either one of you," Tony said, though he put his arm around K's shoulders to steer them toward the lab. "But … let's see what we can come up with." K winked at Clint but let Tony steer, joking around as they headed off.

But when they were almost to the elevator, the doors opened to reveal an Army general in full uniform, who looked grumpy at first — and then positively shocked — before he shifted into what looked like angry and calculating.

"Well this explains everything," General Ross said.

Tony stopped, though he didn't shift his position as he drew in a deep breath and held it. "General Ross. What brings you here … unannounced, uninvited, and frankly … a little unwelcome after the last time we crossed paths? You know … with your troops playing toy soldier on American soil?"

"As much as you hate to be reminded of it, Stark, you have a contract to uphold with our government. You know, the guys who pay you the big bucks while authorizing my men to conduct operations necessary for the safety and security of our nation."

"Well, hello to the handbook you swallowed too," Clint said before he'd even thought about it.

"We can catch up to you later," K started to say as she put a hand on Clint and turned to leave, but Tony quickly took a better grip with a quiet 'nope' that made it clear they were better off staying where he could keep them away from the entourage that Ross undoubtedly had with him.

"If you want to make an appointment," Tony said, making a face at the general, "we can work out whatever it is you want me to change from the latest contract. But I can't discuss details without the legal department … so …."

Ross chuffed and tucked his hat under his arm. "Got more pressing appointments with terrorists? How does that outrank your own government?"

"Nope, just not operating outside of office hours," Tony said, determined to keep it light and avoid escalation.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon."

"And office hours ended at one."

"You can't just ignore me, Stark," Ross said. "We're the good guys in this fight. You're going to want to come out on the right side of it."

Clint burst out with a laugh that seemed to surprise the men in the room. "The good guys? Seriously? Get your eyes checked, General."

"Kid, you've got a skewed interpretation of things." Ross turned his attention to K. "Not that I'm surprised."

"Huh. Well, see, the thing is, you're with Department H, right?" When Ross blinked, Clint took that as confirmation. "Working with them, working for them, whatever. You've teamed up with the bad guys."

"I'm not sure where you get ideas like that, young man, but even if that were true — and I'm not saying it is — that's so far above anything you have any right to have an opinion about, it's not even funny."

Clint shook his head, squaring up in all his lanky preteen glory. "When I was seven," he said in a slow but dangerous tone, "the department threatened to hurt me because they wanted my mom. They didn't care who I was, just that I was leverage. When I was eight, they let a creep tie me down and experiment on me. They didn't know or care if I was even human. They just let him do it because I was with my mom. When I was ten, they kidnapped me — twice. The second time, they shot me in the leg. I'm eleven now and spending all my time looking over my shoulder and worrying about my baby brother, who just turned one. So yeah, they're the bad guys. Which makes you one too. Obviously."

Ross's gaze softened slightly — but only for a moment. "I don't know of any outfit that would do that to a kid, but it's a nice story."

"Honey, come on," K said, her hands on Clint's shoulders. "Some people aren't worth trying to talk to."

Clint kept his chin up — he was getting taller and was almost tall enough that he didn't have to look too far up at the general. "He just called me a liar, Mom."

"And there's nothing we can do about that, sweetheart," K said softly. "So we should just go before things get out of hand."

"No," Tony said, putting himself in between K and the General, though he was facing K and Clint. "You two can stay. I don't want you going anywhere. General Ross knows he's supposed to make an appointment." From there, he pushed Ross back toward the elevator, not taking no for an answer. He gave K a quick glance, hoping she and Clint would get back a little bit — just in case.

Clint tipped his head back to look at K, and when he realized how still she was, he signed, How many guys do you think he brought?

Not risking it with you. Neither is Tony.

That bad?

Yes.

Clint bit his lip and nodded slowly. Alright. But he's still an idiot.

Smarter than he looks, K replied carefully.

He'd have to be.

"I need to call Logan," K said quietly, once they were around the corner and a little distanced from the ongoing argument at the elevator. "I don't know how the hell we're going to get out of here safely otherwise."

Clint stopped and blinked, his stomach dropping. "I didn't even think about that," he admitted — which was frustrating in and of itself because he was supposed to be working on strategy and thinking ahead because both leaders of the teams he wanted to join thought he didn't think ahead enough. And here he was doing just that.

"I don't know if Tony's gotten that far yet either," K told him.

"That's because he's pushing the idiot into an elevator. One thing at a time, Mom," Clint said with a small smile, trying to get her to relax.

"Yeah, I know," she agreed. "Still." She waited, out of sight, but listening in all the same, and when Tony came toward them, he was moving at a good clip.

"We need to get you out — and we need to do it so they can't track you. Sooner the better."

Clint looked between the two adults in the room. He'd never seen them look this stressed. "So, can someone explain to me who this guy is — after we get home, I mean? You two are way too freaked to talk to me."

"He's a general, Clint," Tony said. "One with a lot of pull and a lot of friends in high places. The fact that he knows who your mom is on sight should tip you off on how dirty he can be."

"He's also the guy that's after the Hulk," K told Clint quietly.

"Huh." Clint held his breath. "I had a feeling. Threw the department at him to see, but…" He looked over his shoulder toward the elevator Ross had gone through. "Tony, how come you have the guy who wants the Hulk captured making appointments with you?"

"I don't get a say in who acts as liaison for the government," Tony said. "Used up all my picks when I pushed to get Rhodey to rep the Air Force."

"He's a freakin' supervillain, Tony!" Clint threw both hands in the air. "You know that or you wouldn't be trying to get me and Mom out of here!"

"And I still have to deal with him," Tony pointed out as he handed K his phone. "I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you have your own ideas on how to leave?"

"Maybe one or two," she agreed as she called Logan and stepped into the next room over to make the call, leaving Clint with Tony for a moment.

Clint glanced up at Tony and took in the nervous way he shifted his weight before he spoke up. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"No problem," Tony said with a little nod. "I'll ... ah … I'll take a look at your mom's specs and see what I can do."

Clint perked up instantly. "You mean it?"

"Sure. I was going to do it anyhow, just … havin' a little fun," Tony said with a shrug.

"Thanks!" Clint probably would have done more celebrating, but under the circumstances, all he could manage was a bright grin and a bounce. "I promise I'll use 'em right. Like screwing with the department next time they bother me."

"Yeah, I know you will," Tony said with a little smirk before K came back around the corner with a sigh. "Keep away from the windows — just in case. How long before Nightcrawler comes in?"

"Any time," K replied, then handed him back the phone. "So. Raincheck?"

"On the ideas or the flirting? Because only one of those is really acceptable."

"Yes," she said. "Both. Sorry, the atmosphere went south too fast."

"Ugh, can you not rain check the flirting?" Clint asked, rolling his eyes.

"You do know that the only way I'd ever actually risk it was if she wasn't married, right?" Tony said, raising one eyebrow his way. "I don't have a death wish."

"Oh, so you're not as stupid as you come off," Clint said, looking perfectly shocked.

"Didn't say that."

"That's what I thought." Clint grinned crookedly up at Tony and then waved when Kurt arrived in a poof of blue and black. "Hi, we're trouble magnets," he called out to Kurt.

"No one is surprised," Kurt laughed, though he looked around the room all the same. "How bad is it?"

"General Ross and Department H both pulling the government funding card thinking that gets them in my door," Tony said, his eyes narrowed. "For the record, I've refused to supply the department. Didn't know Ross was tied in this deep."

"Makes sense though," K pointed out. "Department sent my sweetheart after the Hulk with some success. Ross wants the Hulk at all costs …"

"Tony pushed him into an elevator," Clint put in helpfully.

"But not down the shaft like he was asking," Tony said. "He's got soldiers following him all the time. They woundn't have been able to go home if you didn't show up."

Kurt frowned but put his hands on Clint and K's shoulders. "Then it's a good thing we can simply circumvent the tedium of doors," he said.

"One big 'screw you' bamf," Clint agreed, still looking toward his mom and trying to get a solid smile out of her, since he didn't like anything that made her nervous and dealt with his own nerves over the whole thing by joking around.

K gave him a quiet smile but didn't say anything until after Kurt teleported them back to Westchester. And then, what she said was, "Where's Logan?"

"With Scott," Kurt told her — and didn't get to say anything else before K made a beeline down the hall.

Clint sighed and glanced up at Kurt. "So," he said slowly, "how freaked should I be?"

Kurt sighed heavily. "The fact that your mother looked that serious even after the initial contact would tell me that you should be very freaked. But … considering that you are no longer in that precise situation but are now sheltered by the combined might of our entire team — and the Phoenix — I feel as if you are much safer now."

"Good point," Clint said. "Jean would totally roast that guy and the army he rode in with."

"Exactly."

Clint was quiet for a long moment before he said, "Yeah, but the thing is, that guy is going to keep bugging the Avengers. He's gonna keep coming after the Hulk. We can't just take care of us."

"Clint," Kurt said softly, "do you think that the Avengers won't take care of their own as well? Tony and Bruce are good friends. I am very sure he'll do all he can to protect Bruce."

"Then you didn't see how stressed Tony looked," Clint replied. "Because it was pretty obvious he's worried. And we can help. I know we can."

"Then we'll have to see if the two groups can work together," Kurt said. "And considering that Wanda is an Avenger, I think we can manage something."

"Yeah, that probably helps," Clint said, glancing up at Kurt again. "Probably a good thing you guys weren't there, because that guy thinks the X-Men are terrorists and Billy and Tommy aren't old enough to get the whole… leaving bad guys alone thing." He grinned crookedly. "Me either, but I got enough practice to back it up."

"You had good backup today," Kurt said. "We'll be more careful with you kids and anyone close to the military."

"Yeah, well, that general thought he was a good guy, and it still makes me mad. He called me a liar and everything." Clint rolled his eyes. "I can't wait until I'm an Avenger and an X-Man so I can give it back to idiots like that."

Kurt watched Clint and shook his head quietly. This kind of thing was exactly why the adult X-Men had been united on slow-walking him in his quest to join the team. He was too eager.

Not that Kurt could judge. Not that any of them could judge, considering their own paths. But as the X-Men became parents and the mansion filled with small children, caution was the byword.

Hopefully, Clint would figure that out sooner rather than later.

But in the meantime, it was obvious Clint was still brimming with nervous energy from his encounter with Ross, so Kurt put his hand on his shoulder with a troublemaking smirk. "In the meantime," he said, "why don't you and I practice your swordplay while your parents discuss their plans?"

Clint looked up at Kurt with one eye closed. "Are you just trying to keep me out of their planning?"

"On the contrary," Kurt said. "We don't want you getting rusty when there are obviously so many wrongs you need to right when you get older."

Clint narrowed his eyes at Kurt but finally decided it wasn't worth an argument and nodded. "You're on. Winner picks the colors in darts."

Since Barney was around for the winter, he had gotten to see more of what Clint was doing to prepare for both teams and had even signed up for the same self-defense class. He was older, so he got combat classes, too. And he still didn't think Clint was as ready as he thought he was.

That was the thing about kid brothers. They were always getting into trouble.

But with Clint, it was a whole other level of trouble. Barney still wasn't over the fact that an evil scientist had turned him into a healer, much less the most recent incident when Clint had been shot and dragged off right in front of Barney.

So when Clint came in after sword training with Kurt wearing a familiar determined look, Barney knew trouble was brewing.

It looked like Clint and Kurt were headed for the darts, but Barney beat them to it, sliding over seamlessly to snatch up the blue darts for himself. "Who won?" he asked, because those two always turned training into a competition.

"Kurt — but just barely," Clint said, looking supremely irritated.

But Barney was glad to hear it. He worried about Clint more than he was sure his brother knew, and it was nice to hear that the adults in the X-Men were treating Clint more like a prospective teammate and less like a kid. Letting him win meant he would think he was ready to take on stuff he wasn't ready for.

Not that Clint wouldn't do it anyway, but Barney could dream.

"Reclaim your throne?" Barney said, offering Clint the red darts.

"Kurt and I were gonna—"

"No, no," Kurt said, smiling between the Barton brothers. "You and I can play at any time. It seems you've been neglecting your brother."

"He means you're scared you'll lose to me," Barney told Clint.

"Oh, you are so on."

Kurt smirked and teleported away, leaving the boys to their game, knowing that Clint couldn't resist a challenge and also knowing that Barney had been more concerned about Clint since his last run-in with the department than either boy was willing to admit. A run-in with Ross had to have Barney concerned, and he was showing that concern in his own way.

Still, there was a competition to be had, and the boys played several rounds of darts before Barney casually asked, "So, who was the idiot who ticked you off today?"

Clint raised both eyebrows and turned Barney's way, then let out a huff and tossed a dart a little harder than usual. "Some loser general who called me a liar and is working with the department."

Barney frowned, turning the dart in his hand a few times. "You have way too much experience with those guys, you know that? You're, like, four."

"Eleven."

"Same difference."

Clint rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter anyway," he said. "Mom says this guy is strictly hands-off. You should have seen her when he showed up. She doesn't usually freeze like that." Although Clint had started out complaining, by the time he finished telling Barney about what he'd seen, Barney could hear the honest worry ringing in his tone, too.

With good reason. "Mom froze?" Barney breathed out.

Clint nodded. "She kept hanging onto me, holding me back. Didn't want me to take on the general. And Tony pushed him into an elevator."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, surprised me too."

"Was the elevator car still there?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Then he didn't do it right."

Clint blinked at Barney and then burst into a laugh that lasted longer than he meant it to — Barney turned out to be just the right antidote to the worry and anger that had been following him around like a dark cloud ever since Ross showed up. "Come on," he said once he had his composure again. "Let's go convince Mom to give us another lesson toward horseback archery."