Chapter 3: Doctor Stinky
"Why am I following you again?" asked Tatsumaki glumly.
"Previously, I had requested for you to meet my creator and caretaker, Dr. Kuseno."
"Right, Mr. Stinky."
"Actually, his name resembles the word for 'stinky field' and …"
"There, is that it?" Tatsumaki pointed at a boxy building in a clearing in the woods down below.
"Yes."
They landed outside the entrance. Genos walked up to the door and knocked. A few awkward minutes passed when, finally, an old man opened the door.
"Ah, Genos, you're back. Oh, and are you Terrible Tornado?"
What. The. Fuck. Mr. Stinky looked like a goddamned mushroom with that hair; it was outrageous. The underside of his hair must've been measured with a fucking spirit level, how flat it was, and the top of it was like the top of a perfectly carved sphere. And that wasn't to mention his impossibly long nose. It wasn't even like he had big nostrils either. The tip of his nose was just so long for no reason at all.
"Um, yeah."
Tatsumaki dumbly held out her hand, which Dr. Kuseno shook.
"It's a pleasure meeting you." He guided the two into the building.
A few floors later, they arrived at an impressive room, covered in fancy looking scientific equipment.
"Was my handiwork good enough to attract the attention of the Terrible Tornado?" he chuckled to himself. Genos looked over at Tatsumaki.
"Yes, Doctor," he said. "In fact, I forgot to mention it to you, but Teacher Terrible Tornado is now my mentor. I promise I will become stronger so that I may defeat that cyborg one day and avenge my village."
Dr. Kuseno stared at something on the wall.
"I always expected this might happen. Very well, if she helps you become stronger, I see no harm. However," he turned around back at them, his eyes sharp. "Do not stray from your path. You may avenge your village, but do not let your anger consume you."
"Yes, Doctor."
Dr. Kuseno relaxed and nodded.
"So, Terrible Tornado—"
"Please, just call me Tatsumaki."
"Of course. Tatsumaki, do you plan on bringing Genos here into the Hero Association as part of this mentorship?"
"I… I actually haven't thought about that. I guess it sounds like a good idea."
If she was going to keep someone like Genos around all day, walking around in public and keeping her in a training regiment, she'd have to register him as a hero to keep the gossip down.
"Ok, Genos, we're registering you as a hero."
"Yes, Teacher Terrible Tornado."
"Just call me Tatsumaki too, Genos."
"Yes, Teacher Tatsumaki."
"Alright, um, goodbye Dr. Kuseno."
He waved back at her, and the cyborg and the psychic left the lab.
"This is the apartment." Tatsumaki opened the door and motioned inside. "You," with emphasis, "are going to sleep there." She pointed at the couch. There was also a tiny kitchen, the bathroom, and her bedroom. Her penthouse was actually quite small, but she didn't mind when most of her time was spent outside fighting monsters.
"Understood?"
"Yes, Teacher Tatsumaki."
"Ok, I'm going to take a shower and head to bed." At this moment, Tatsumaki realized that there wasn't a direct doorway between her bedroom and the bathroom. "Sit on the couch now and I'll tell you when I'm done. Absolutely ZERO peeking!"
Standing besides her bed, she took off her nasty hoodie and peeled the sweaty undershirt away. Topless, she moved to grasp her chest, or rather lack of chest. Moving her hands down her ribs that popped out under her skin, she patted her now flat stomach. The ramen went down better than expected. She stripped off the pair of kids' shorts and took off her panties. Her penis flopped out and her balls untucked. Tatsumaki stared at them for a bit in acceptance, and then grabbed a towel. Poking her head out of her bedroom doorway, she made sure the coast was clear and then yelled just in case:
"If I catch you peeking, consider yourself dead!"
"Affirmative."
Tatsumaki tip toed into the bathroom and immediately needed to shit. 75% Discount! SUPER PEPPER-SAUCE Pork Broth Combo Delight came with a price and it wasn't five bucks. Tatsumaki sat on the toilet and shifted to make herself comfortable for the debacle to come. As she sat and shat, she looked at both of her boyish hands. They were small, but they were definitely blockier than her sister's. She rubbed the cluster of fat blisters in the middle of both her palms. Telekinesis came easier to her when she directed it with her hands, at the cost of new and squishy white bubbles forming over old and hard red scabs. This was a crutch. Her first target of training would be to never need to use these again.
Flpppppphtth!
Tatsumaki's face reddened. She hoped the cyborg couldn't hear her through the bathroom door. In fact, why did she even let someone into her apartment to live with her? A few weeks ago it would've been unimaginable. Did she just agree to become his tutor out of a hunger-induced fit? There were lots of monsters out there in the world, Tatsumaki knew that best, but the most evil of them were always humans. And maybe cyborgs, probably. What if he was going to assault her? Well, she'd fuck him up. But what if he blackmailed her? And that Mr. Stinky guy, he could easily be some villain mastermind pretending to be a nice old man. Holy shit. Tatsumaki speedran the rest of her guts out, wiped front to back vigorously, and then marched out of the bathroom, towel-clad and still smelling like a homeless vagrant.
"You!" She pointed.
"Yes, Teacher Tatsumaki!"
"I don't know who you are or what you want with me, but I don't trust you in my apartment, or even in this goddamned building. Out. Now."
"Of course, Teacher Tatsumaki."
And the cyborg walked out the front door. Tatsumaki spent the rest of her evening looking for hidden cameras and setting off miniature EMP's with her telekinesis.
The sun woke Tatsumaki up early in the morning, all according to her new training plan. Tatsumaki then lounged around in her covers for another hour. Finally, she actually sat up, her green curls frayed and messy, and wondered if the events of yesterday really happened, or if it was some strange hunger-fueled dream. Tatsumaki walked over to the couch, half expecting "Genos," if he even existed, to still be sitting there. Tatsumaki walked over to the bathroom sink, dumped cold water on her face, and stared at her reflection. She looked very gaunt. She brought a hand to her hollow cheeks. Well, her cheekbones did stick out normally anyways. She bit her lip and tried to look sexy. She thought she looked pretty sexy. She tilted her head down and tried to look demure. She looked pretty cute. She brought her clunky hands back up to the mirror. Years ago, Tatsumaki tried wearing gloves while she fought, but her telekinesis always burned through them by the time she was done with a monster. She gave up after a few tries. Tatsumaki jazz-handed in front of the mirror. At least they looked alright when they were in motion.
She splashed her face again, wiping off eye-boogers. She sat down on the toilet and pissed, fidgeting with her foreskin. She pulled her pajamas back up after flushing and brushed her teeth. She spat out the foaming toothpaste and gargled some tap water. She grabbed a towel from her bedroom, forgetting to get one previously, and then stripped. She stared at herself in the floor mirror by the front door, cupping her hips and waist. Tatsumaki was arrogant, impolite, uncaring, kind of selfish, but she would always be grateful for her wide curves. She showered.
Just as she flew out of her apartment balcony, a roar sounded next to her. It was Genos.
"Good morning Master, I mean Teacher Tatsumaki!"
"Wait. You're…" she stopped herself from asking if he was real or not. "You waited here this whole time?"
"Yes, Teacher Tatsumaki. Outside of the building, as you asked."
"Oh my lord. Ok."
Well, there wasn't a lot someone could spy on by standing outside the ground floor while she lived at the very top. That is, unless he somehow snuck onto the top of a building across the street and looked in through her windows. Tatsumaki praised her intelligent paranoia. And she'd register the cyborg as a "hero" while asking the Hero Association guys to run a background check on this pervert. God, she was so clever.
"Alright," she grinned. "Let's register you for the Hero Exam."
Again, City Z was a complete dump. Maybe it should've been called City M, for Monster. Or maybe the Z stood for Zombie. Regardless, a small stand proclaiming "24/7 HERO EXAM REGISTRATION" was the only Hero Association registration place that was always open. The other exam sites held tests every week or so to clean up after the various exam induced messes that were left behind.
Tatsumaki and the cyborg landed in the desolate street, startling the sleeping intern at the desk.
"H-holy shit." The intern rubbed his eyes. "Terrible Tornado?" He sat up straight and even saluted. "I'm so sorry for sle—"
"Yeah yeah, look, I'm recommending this guy for the exam." She held out her Hero Association card to the intern who shakily swiped it. "I'll be back later. I gotta deal with some stuff. Stay here when you're done." Taking the card back, she leapt into the air and flew out of sight, and shortly after arrived at the Hero Association Headquarters in A-City. Landing on the roof, she found an entrance into the top floor of the building. After a bit of wandering, she found the Hero Command Room.
"Sitch!"
A neatly combed man sitting at a computer screen turned around in surprise.
"Tatsumaki?" He stood up. "Pardon my language, but where the hell have you been the past two weeks?"
There he was, the Roaring Lion of the Hero Association. Tatsumaki held deep respect for the man. Even if he had no powers or combat training, his hard-working nature and intelligence made him just as valuable to the Hero Association as any other S-Class hero. Except for Tatsumaki, of course.
"Not important. I want to run a background check on someone."
Sitch stared at Tatsumaki for a moment.
"Fine. Who?"
"A cyborg claiming to be named 'Genos,' gee, ee, en, oh, es. He's currently taking a hero exam at Z-City. And make it fast."
"On it." He motioned to some employees. As Tatsumaki turned to leave though, he called to her.
"What happened thirteen days ago?"
Tatsumaki stormed out and flung the door shut. Finding a seat, she waited. What happened thirteen days ago? If Sitch wasn't so important to the HA, Tatsumaki might've thrown him off a cliff by now. What happened was that everything went downhill. Just a few weeks prior she was absolutely wiping the floor with Demon level threats as usual. Monsters feared her. Even people feared her. She was a god. King was always off behind the scenes fighting something, and Blast was just Blast. In the public's eye, she was the Alpha and the Omega. But now word was getting out about the devastation that Tatsumaki unleashed to deal with a Dragon level threat. Were there going to be more Dragons in the future? Could anybody take them on besides her? Could she even take them on reliably? What if the monsters ganged up and overpowered her? Tatsumaki clenched her teeth. This was unacceptable, and so even if she hated the idea that she was weak enough that she'd have to train, the thought that she might have to rely on someone to save her was billions of times worse. She'd rather die.
The door opened.
"He's as clean as you can get with a flooded village. Can't find anything else."
"Wait, flooded? Anything about a rogue cyborg?"
Sitch raised his eyebrow.
"Something you want to tell me?"
"I remember he told me about some rogue cyborg destroying his village, not a flood."
"We had Metal Knight look over every database we have."
Metal Knight, of course. Ever the suspicious character.
"Oh, I have a meeting I'm late for. Shoot. If there's anything else, Tatsumaki, I'll call you."
Sitch turned around and headed down the hallway. Tatsumaki knew this game—Sitch was never late, plus they had decided on this single-use code during their last meeting. Climbing back onto the roof, she flew high in the air and started towards Z-City, for now.
As expected, Genos crushed every test the poor Z-City interns threw at him. They gave him his score straight up right after, no discrete and fancy package like the other exam sites had. 100/100. An easy S-Class, as easy as S-Classes could come. Tatsumaki flew down in front of the exam site, making sure to cover her panties with the folds of her dress, and looked at Genos.
"Teacher Terrible Tornado, I received a perfect 100/100. I am now the S-Class Rank 17 Hero."
Tatsumaki tapped her hands together in light applause. She was still wary about Genos, but it wouldn't be in Metal Knight's interests to try to infiltrate an S-Class hero's life like this. She doubted that he had that many cyborgs, if any at all, lying around as advanced and strong as Genos. In fact, Dr. Kuseno might've even been the one behind the "rogue cyborg" story, and now wanted Genos to chase down his old test subject. But if Genos wasn't lying, that wouldn't explain why Metal Knight would've changed the records. Shit, things were getting confusing. She'd have to talk it over with Sitch later.
"There's one more thing you need to do, Genos, and that's an interview. Come with me."
Before they headed off though, one of the exam staff shouted.
"Terrible Tornado, can I get your autograph?"
Tatsumaki looked back. It was some girl with a streak of pink in her hair. Tatsumaki punched a hole in a nearby rock with her telekinesis and left it. As Tatsumaki and Genos took off, the pink haired girl yelled back: "Thank you!"
"Will I have to deal with that as a hero?"
"Yeah. It's almost as bad as the actual fighting."
When they finally arrived over the Hero Association Headquarters, Tatsumaki commanded Genos to fly down into the middle of the city square in front of the building. That'd give the public a sneak peek at their new S-Class hero.
"And when you're done, I don't care what you do. Go back to Mr. Stinky's place or my place, I don't care. Wait. If you do come to my place, don't go into my room, or else.
"Understood, Teacher Terrible Tornado."
As Genos descended into the square, crowds of people gathered around to take picture of the flying cyborg. Tatsumaki smirked. Now people had something else to concern themselves with other than her two week long absence.
Cafe Icon, Tatsumaki and Sitch's latest agreed upon meeting site, where he got a private VIP room at 5:30 and she arrived at 6:00. PM, of course. Not to mention, the food was great as well. After finding their booth, Tatsumaki got down to business.
"Here's what I know," said Tatsumaki. "I first met Genos yesterday. I was in Z-City and I saw him fighting some monster. He didn't know I was going to be there; I was undercover."
"Good evening to you as well, Tatsumaki. Was he fighting of his own volition?"
"Yeah, pretty sure. And so I stepped in as well and took out the monster, and then I flew back to my apartment. And then while I was in my apartment, I heard someone knocking on my door, and it was him. Genos can fly, and my apartment was pretty close by, so it would've been pretty easy for him to follow me. I don't suspect any advanced tracking tech or whatever."
"I hope you realize that an unregistered hero fighting monsters should've been reported."
Tatsumaki glared at him.
"It's not my duty to be keeping tabs on every C-Class cunt from Asshole to Zit-City."
"Language."
"Then Genos asked if he wanted to be my disciple and I said sure after some sob story, which was when I first heard about the rogue cyborg, and I said fine after he nagged me for the whole day. And then we flew over to his, like, creator's laboratory. His name was Dr. Kuseno."
Sitch listened intensely.
"Genos continued to talk about that rogue cyborg, and Dr. Kuseno also mentioned it, and then we left and I went to bed. The next morning, I flew out of my apartment and there he was flying next to me, Genos, who had spent the whole night outside of his 'Teacher's' building. I found out during this flight that he wasn't registered, and I figured I'd drop him off at a hero exam site while I came over to HQ for the background check. And then you told me that Metal Knight said that a flood destroyed his village, not a rogue cyborg. That's all I have."
"So either this Dr. Kuseno and Genos are fibbing and Metal Knight's right, or Metal Knight wants to cover up something." Sitch sat in thought.
"You know I have my reservations about Metal Knight, but we definitely can't rule out that these two newcomers are up to something. You said you took in Genos as your 'disciple?'"
"Yeah."
"I want you to actually take him in now, because I'd like to keep my friends close, but I'd love to keep my enemies closer."
Tatsumaki nodded a bit reluctantly.
"Here again next time?" asked Sitch.
"Sure. Let's do morning. I'll get here at 6 AM and you come at 8."
"6, huh? That's mighty early for you. Won't Metal Knight get a little suspicious if he finds out?"
"I plan on getting up a lot earlier from now on."
Sitch laid back.
"What's the next sign going to be? I'm never late."
"'Have you been getting up earlier?'"
"Sounds good." Sitch leaned forward. "I still just have one question for you."
Tatsumaki stood up.
"No! I'm not going to talk about whatever you're about to bring up. I'm leaving!"
"Terrible Tornado! I know its about the Dragon. I know it had to do with your absence. I know it has to do with you waking up earlier. And I also know you're usually the first S-Class hero to get worked up over unregistered vigilantes. For the sake of the Hero Association and the general public, you've got to tell me what's going on. These meetings are private for a reason!"
Fuck this guy Sitch and his giant fucking nose. This mean old man thinking he could tell her what to do, Tatsumaki, the S-Class Rank 2 Hero, who could crush his skull with a single neuron.
"You know why we've never made you number one?"
Tatsumaki's eyes widened.
"Because you're arrogant and your ego's as high as the goddamned moon. You think you deserve 'S-Class Rank 1 Hero?' Be respectful to someone for the first time in your life and tell me what happened!"
"Fuck you, Sitch! You think you can control me with some useless meaningless rankings on a bulletin board in your office? Guess what, I don't give a fuck! Fuck you, and fuck the HA!"
Sitch paused.
"Have you talked with Fubuki recently?"
The furniture began to float.
"What did you do to her."
"Six days ago, she went off the grid and we haven't seen her since."
"LIAR!"
Tatsumaki lifted a fork to Sitch's neck.
"You think I'm scared of you, Terrible Tornado?"
"What did you do!? What did you—"
She fell to the ground sobbing and curled up. Plates and silverware crashed on the ground. Sitch crouched down next to her.
"Tatsumaki," he tried to start.
"Does Fubuki hate me?" choked Tatsumaki between her tears.
"I really don't know."
"It's all because of that Vaccine Man. I was too weak and," Tatsumaki sniffed. "And Fubuki hated that."
"No, Tatsumaki. If there's one thing I know about Fubuki, its that she always—"
Sitch's emergency phone interrupted him.
"Sitch! We have a Dragon level threat in B-City. Repeat, there's a Dragon level threat in B-City right now!"