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At 0600 hours, Mampre came by to check on Nelly and blamed the mutton for her sudden and unexpected vomiting episode in the night. He filled her canteen with fresh water and set a cool and wet flannel on her head for the fever before leaving the hut for assembly. Nelly was left by herself. But as soon as Mampre left, she fell back asleep. And woke up a few hours later to find Speirs sitting on Malarkey's bed. Nelly pulled a confused look toward her older cousin – what was he doing there?
"They transferred me to 2nd Battalion this morning". Speirs answered her silent question. "I'm in Dog Company now".
"Why?" She whispered.
"No big deal". Speirs didn't want to talk about it. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired".
"Yeah". He snorted softly. "You look it too". Reaching under Malarkey's pillow, Speirs pulled out a book that was hidden underneath. "Your friends stopped by to give you this". He showed Nelly the front cover – expecting some sort of reaction. He didn't get one. "Not much of a reader, huh?"
Nelly straight-up told him. "I can't read".
A tiny frown met his face. "Oh". Speirs said, "Well...this won't be any good".
"Donnie will read it to me". Nelly said softly.
With a nod, Speirs tucked the book back under Malarkey's pillow. "Explains why my mom didn't get a letter back". He said, "She thought she upset you".
Slowly rolling onto her back, Nelly faced the ceiling.
Speirs rubbed the back of his neck.
"I was sick". She said to him, "Like, loads".
He huffed softly and nodded. "Yeah...your friends told me". He said, "You feel better now, that's the main thing".
Nelly turned her head to the side and looked up at him. "Have you been to Scotland yet?"
Speirs shook his head. "I – uh – I was hoping we could go...together".
Her face formed a tiny frown.
Speirs sighed. "I know but – I think it's something we should do".
"Edinburgh?"
Bobbing his head, Speirs leaned forward and placed his hands on his knees. "Yeah, we could do that". He said quietly, "But we could also see Crossgates again".
Eyebrows twitching, Nelly faced the ceiling and shook her head.
"No?" Speirs frowned softly.
"No". Nelly confirmed.
"Alright, okay". Speirs said to her. "Just Edinburgh then".
Licking the top of her dry and cracked lip, Nelly soon realised she was incredibly thirsty. And as she began to sit up and search for her canteen, Speirs pressed his hand gently on her shoulder.
"What is it? I'll get it". He said.
"Canteen, sir".
"Alright". Speirs got up and saw Nelly's canteen on the other side of her mattress. He leaned over Nelly and grabbed it for her. Speirs even unscrewed the cap before handing it over to his cousin. Using her free hand to keep her body upright, Nelly took a few sips of water. She lay back down again and kept her canteen in her hands. "Want me to put that back?" Speirs asked.
"No". Nelly replied quietly. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable again. There was a small twist in her gut and Nelly feared it would happen once more. The expression on her face must have indicated fear because Speirs was soon frowning at her.
"What is it?" He asked.
"I feel sick". She whispered.
"Oh, alright – uh – let me help you". Speirs didn't just lend Nelly a hand – he did pretty much everything because his cousin looked too frightened to move. First, he took the canteen out of her hands. Then, he slipped on her boots. And as Speirs was sitting Nelly up, the girl let out a tiny whimper. "Yeah, it sucks, I know". Speirs murmured gently.
She was so dizzy. Her body had nothing to use as energy. And her head pressed up against Speirs, while he placed her jacket over her shoulders.
"Can you walk?" He asked.
Nelly shrugged one of her shoulders weakly. She hadn't tried walking anywhere since last night. She didn't think she could even stand. Nelly was having a difficult time sitting up by herself. She had to use Speirs as a wall to lean against.
"It's fine, I'll just...". Manoeuvring himself so he was crouched in front of Nelly, Speirs's hands went under her arms, and he soon lifted Nelly up. "Yup – you're light". He mumbled. "They don't feed you?" Speirs tried to joke.
Her stomach twisted again at the thought of food. Nelly grimaced against his shoulders and sunk in a deep breath. Quickly, Speirs carried her out of the hut and to the latrines. However, once Nelly was leaning by the toilet, the twisting in her gut died down. Speirs was crouched somewhat anxiously by her side. And Nelly looked at him, mildly confused.
"False alarm?" Speirs asked.
"Yeah". Nelly said to him quietly.
He looked relieved as he leaned back against the side of the stall. Pulling his legs up, Speirs's hands rested against his knees. And when he looked over at Nelly, he saw her sitting the exact same way. "Do you smoke?"
"No".
"Good". Speirs approved, while he lit a cigarette for himself. "What about drinking?"
"Three times". Nelly mumbled, "First time...I got beat up".
Speirs didn't look pleased. "By who?" He practically demanded.
"Glider boys...in Fort Bragg".
"Names?" Speirs questioned. "What are their names?"
"I didn't...ask". Nelly frowned at him.
"If you see them in a crowd – point them out to me". Speirs muttered.
Nelly wasn't going to do that. But she lied and agreed. "Okay".
With a shake of his head, Speirs puffed on his cigarette. "Didn't they teach you self-defence as an agent?"
Her frown deepened. "Yeah".
"And you didn't think to use any of that?"
"No, I didn't". Nelly mumbled. "Because I was outnumbered".
"It doesn't matter". Speirs grumbled. "You fight back, regardless of the number".
"That's not always...possible". She whispered – thinking back to occupied Europe.
"Well, it's what I'd do".
Nelly shook her head. "If you were where I was...you wouldn't".
Speirs frowned. "In a shitty bar in Fort Bragg?"
Nelly's eyes blinked away from her cousin. "No". She whispered, "Europe".
The frown on his face softened slightly. "What happened?"
She didn't respond.
"Have you told anybody?" Speirs asked.
Nelly shook her head. "No". She whispered. "Words are hard".
His frown softened further; Speirs nodded. "They can be, yeah". And his voice matched his soft frown. Nelly looked at him. "I guess feelings are hard too, huh?"
She gave him a faint nod. And told him, "I feel...good with Easy. Like, happy. And...safe".
"What about with me?"
Nelly's head cocked to the side. "You're weird".
Speirs huffed out a tiny chuckle and smiled small. "Yeah, I guess". He flicked the ash from his cigarette into the toilet. "But I do care about you, Nelly". He said, "You're my little cousin. I'm trying to make up for lost time".
"You're smart". Nelly said, "You...are head first, heart later".
Speirs agreed. "That's how a soldier has got to be, Nelly. You should know that".
"My friends are...". And a smile reached her lips. "Heart and gut first".
"And what are you?"
Nelly shrugged. "I just...go along with it". She said quietly, "I'm tired of...thinking all the time and...I want to shut off and not look around and...look at everything. Because it makes me tired".
"You don't have to do anything right now". Speirs reminded her. "You just have to get better".
Nelly sent him a small smile. "You're cool".
Speirs smiled back at her – amusement shining in his eyes. "Better than a prick, huh?"
"Yeah". She agreed lightly. "Loads better".
...
After three days, Nelly was back to normal again. The medic put her on bed rest until Nelly had more energy to train. It took her a few days, but she was back on her feet. Not much happened while Nelly was out of action. Sobel was still around; tension was still there between him, and the men and training continued. Nelly got better just in time for their next field exercise. They packed up their gear and marched out of Aldbourne on a drizzly Monday morning. It was clear the British weather made the men miserable. They were homesick – they missed their country and their loved ones. Letters helped but sometimes, they made a man even more miserable – it led them to think deeply about home and it increased their homesickness. But other men enjoyed reading those letters and it made them feel better. For the younger soldiers, like Alex, Hughes and anyone below the age of twenty; homesickness hit them the hardest.
They dug foxholes in the mud – pup tents were a thing of the past now. It was too rainy to start a fire. Men were left shivering miserably in the holes they had dug. Nelly left the foxhole she built with Hughes and went off to search for Alex. She found him sitting by himself, Skip was busy on outpost duty. Jumping into the hole, Nelly sat down next to him. When Alex looked at her, it was clear to Nelly he was sad – miserable, just like some of the other men.
"One day". Nelly said to him quietly. "You'll be in bed, back home. And this will...it'll just be a memory".
Slouching down to reach Nelly's level, Alex pressed his face against her arm. "It will?" His voice sounded small and shaky.
"Yeah". Nelly replied, as her fingers gently ran through his brown hair.
"I just...". Alex's voice broke. "I miss them...".
"I know". She said softly. "They miss you too, Alex".
"The weather is shit". He tried to joke through a tearful voice. "How did you put up with this?"
"You get used to it". Nelly murmured gently. "Just like I got used to America".
Alex sniffed softly. And he choked out a tiny laugh. "I guess it's our turn now, huh?"
"I wish it wasn't". Nelly whispered. "But...I'm glad I met you".
His arm went around her waist. "Me too, Nelly".
"Ojciec Penkala...". Nelly said softly.
And despite the silent tears, Alex smiled softly. "You speak Polish?"
"Not really". She mumbled. "But...you pick up words".
"In Europe?"
"Yeah". She said softly. "Witam".
Alex choked out another tiny laugh. "Hej".
"Czapka na". Nelly ordered softly with a distant look. "Czapka od". She said, "I can say that...in three languages".
"That's weird". He said quietly. "Why that?"
"It's just...the order we all had, and it was...important to know what it meant – Kappe auf, Kappe aus". Nelly said, "Spanish was, tope en. Tapa. They don't really speak English. I had to learn the basics...if I wanted to live".
With a slight frown, Alex pulled himself away from Nelly and looked at her. "Where were you, Nelly?"
And with his wet eyes staring back at her, Nelly told him the truth. "Austria". She whispered to him. "After we got captured in Holland...they sent us to Austria".
"Why?"
A distant look reached Nelly's eyes. "Mauthausen...".
Alex frowned again. "What is that? A POW camp?"
"Alex...". She whispered, "There's a difference between a German army POW camp and a Nazi-run concentration camp". She said, "Mauthausen was run by Nazis".
A chill rolled down Alex's spine. "What's the difference?"
Nelly thought of how to describe it for a moment. "The German army see their enemies as humans. The Nazis see enemies of the Reich as something less than ants".
"Jesus Christ...". Alex voiced nervously. "And you were...for how long were you there?"
"Over a year". Nelly said, "June 1941. Until February 1943".
"You escaped". Alex pointed out quietly.
She nodded faintly. "Mauthausen is...heavily guarded and fortified. Electric barbed wired tall fences and big guard towers with machine guns. They have massive spotlights that are always on and rotating around the camp. If you step over the line toward the fence, they'll shoot you or you'll be forced to touch the fence and kill yourself".
Alex paled. "You're...that's unbelievable".
"We were lucky". Nelly mumbled. "Me, Pieter and Ben. We found out we were being transferred to another camp one week before our date. And we prepared ourselves to escape. I made a knife in the workshop. Carlos and Francisco let the air out of the truck tyres. Two camp commandants were transporting us. The tyres went flat after several miles – in the middle of nowhere. Pieter and Ben pinned them to the ground and I...". Nelly's hand balled into a fist. "I stabbed the Nazis to death".
Alex let out a shaky breath. And he nodded slowly. "So...you got out. What happened next?"
"For almost two months we were hunted like animals". Nelly said quietly. "When we got to Switzerland, they told us they couldn't keep us safe. So, we went to Portugal. And then I had orders to America". She looked at Alex and her eyes softened. "I stole your sandwich because they starved us in Mauthausen, and I was hungry".
He could feel tears reach his eyes again. Alex grabbed a hold of Nelly's hand. "Yeah...I had a feeling you were hungry. It's not every day a stranger steals your food right under your nose".
"I drive you mad and...". Nelly huffed softly and shook her head. "I was...scared a lot but...you were always nice".
Alex smiled. "I never take it personally when you damn me to hell".
Nelly giggled quietly and nodded. "Thanks".
The smile on his face softened. "You know, you're really starting to come out of your shell".
"Because of you". Nelly told him gently. "You helped me...always".
"You helped me too". Alex said, "You taught me patience. And I've got a feeling I'll need a lot of that in combat".
She nodded. "Sometimes it's just...sitting and waiting". Nelly gestured toward the sky. "In the rain, in the cold. In the hot sun – it's sometimes just waiting". Nelly added quietly, "Sometimes in Mauthausen at rollcall...we waited all day. We had to stand and wait for...sometimes twelve or so hours".
Alex gently squeezed her hand.
"The sick...and those who couldn't hang on anymore...they would die". Nelly whispered. "Just – just drop and...die". She said, "But it wouldn't end because someone died. It would end when half of them died – and if enough didn't die...they would start shooting".
His breath got caught in his throat. "You saw all this?"
"I was there". Nelly whispered. "I stood there...I was there". She frowned. "You can't tell anyone – not even Skip and Donnie...this is secret".
"I promise, Nelly". Alex told her. "Alright? I won't tell anyone".
After a short pause, Nelly told him softly, "Light up your lighter".
Letting go of her hand, Alex brought out his lighter and flicked the flame on. And he watched, as Nelly unravelled the bandage over her forearm. Since they had met Nelly, she never took that bandage off. And now, Alex was finally seeing what she had kept hidden. When his eyes met what was on by her wrist, he felt confused. It was a tattoo – a six-digit number tattoo.
"They don't...usually tattoo people in Mauthausen". Nelly said quietly, "But they tattooed the agents in case we escaped. If an ally of the Reich saw our tattoos, they'd know we had escaped, and they'd send us back".
"Jesus...". Alex whispered. "Like cattle".
Nelly shook her head. "Ants". She said, "Camp commandants treat animals better than us". A few moments went by before Nelly wrapped the bandage back around her forearm. "I was the only girl in Mauthausen for a while. Women didn't start arriving until I was about to leave".
A sickening feeling reached Alex's stomach. "And the men...were they?"
"The prisoners in my barrack...treated me well". Nelly said, "I was...fifteen. So, they saw me as a child – not woman. A child".
Alex could feel his shoulders drop. "Okay – well...what about the Nazis?"
"No special treatment". Nelly mumbled. "I was beaten, made to work and tormented just like all the other men".
It was harrowing for Alex to learn where Nelly had been and what she had been through. He would never have guessed; she would have ended up in a place like that. And he had to remind himself a few times that Nelly was okay now – that she escaped and was healing. And while Nelly put her escape down to luck, Alex thought she was the bravest and most remarkable human he had ever met.