Disclaimer: The Animorphs don't belong to me. Starseeker does though. Actually, Starseeker is me so...well, if you see yer name in this fic pleeeeease don't flame me! That's it, now read on!
The Insanity 3: And you thought it would end!
**Theme music**
Starseeker: Welcome to the Talk Show with No Name! I'm your host today!
**Words echo throughout the empty room.**
Starseeker: Where is everyone? We're on the air!
Director: Honey, this is just a rehearsal.
~Three hours later~
Starseeker: Welcome to the Unnamed Talk Show! I'll be your host for the evening.
**No sound except for the absent minded crickets and birds twittering.**
Birds: Cheep. Cheep. Twittertwittertwitter.
Crickets: Chirp. Chiiiiiirp.
Starseeker: This isn't rehearsal again is it?
**Starseeker looks out and sees people.**
Starseeker: Nope, not rehearsal.
Director: Get on with it!
Starseeker: Well, okay then. Ah...hmm...tonight we'll be discussing...er...oh yeah! **Squints, trying to read the cue cards.** We'll be talking to fan farction writers...Huh? Never mind. We'll be talking to fan fiction writers who...what does that say?
Director: **Whispering** Fan fiction writers in general. Moron.
Starseeker: Aye! Well, we'll be talking to fan fiction writers. Our first segment is about the...the VIWs, or Very Important Writers.
**Generated applause**
Starseeker: Quit it!
**Fake applause stops and the room gets quiet.**
Birds: Twittertwittertwitter.
Starseeker: **Looking agitatedly at the birds** Shut up! **Gets out a gun and shoots the birds**
Birds: Twitt...er...**Collapse on the ground**
Starseeker: Now then, let's get our first three guests out here!
**Utahraptor, fishie, and Amy walk onto the stage.**
**Real applause.**
Utahraptor: Starseeker, where should we sit?
Starseeker: This is a low budget show. Can you use your omnipotent fan fiction powers to zap some chairs in here?
Utahraptor: They made me check my license at the door.
Security dude: **Comes on stage and hands Utahraptor her license.** Sorry, we had to make sure.
Starseeker: **Shoots the security dude with her gun.** Now, how about we get some chairs over here.
Utahraptor: **Zaps four chairs into the room.** There!
**Applause**
**The four authors take a seat.**
Starseeker: Utahraptor, how about we start with you.
Utahraptor: Well...okay, I guess. Um-
Starseeker: How does it feel being one of the best Animorphs writers at Fanfiction.net?
Utahraptor: Um...it feels okay I guess.
Starseeker: Okay! Any other words on it?
Utahraptor. Yeah. Actually-
Starseeker: Oops, time to go to our next guest!
Utahraptor: But I-
Starseeker: Fishie, would you consider yourself a VIW?
Utahraptor: **Being dragged off the stage** Hey! I'll get you Starseeker! And your stupid show too!
Fishie: Yeah, I guess I consider myself a VIW. But I'm not so sure. I mean, there are other writers out there who are better than me.
Starseeker: I know how you feel. Every time you think you're good, you come across someone who's better.
Fishie: Really!
Starseeker: But anyways, how many times have you been held by the BFFACC?
Fishie: I'm not really sure.
Starseeker: Now, on to our next guest!
Amy: **Staring off into space** .... ......
Starseeker: Amy. Would you consider yourself to be a VIW?
Amy: .... ......... ....
Starseeker: Amy?
Amy: ......they're here......they're coming to get me. Aaah! No! NOOOOO! **Runs screaming off the stage.**
Starseeker: Okay...then. Um...**Looks at the director, who's telling her to stretch her time.**
Director: The other guys aren't here yet!
Starseeker: Let's go to a commercial break!
~~~~
Starseeker: And we're back. **Tiredly** Let's see if our next set of guests are here yet...
**D.M.P., Meeko, Aniblaire, Meridian, and Tobiasrulz walk on to the stage.**
Tobiasrulz: Hi everyone!
Meeko: Hiya!
Aniblaire: Hello people!
Everyone: Hi fan fic writers!
Starseeker: Gee, I wonder why they did that.
**Everyone shrugs**
Starseeker: Welcome!
Meridian: Can we make this quick? I got places to go. **Looks at watch**
Starseeker: Well, **Stops to read the cue card** These are the darker writers. Let's start with D.M.P.
DMP: Yay!
Starseeker: Now, what does DMP actually stand for?
DMP: It stands for-
**Phone rings**
Starseeker: Who could that be? **Puts whoever it is on speakerphone.**
Strange person: I know what you did last commercial break.
Starseeker: **Looks around nervously.** I didn't do anything...
Strange Person: No, not you Starseeker. I mean Meeko.
Meeko: Uh...got to go! **Runs away, off of the stage**
**A loud bonk noise is heard from backstage.**
Director: Don't worry about it. Meeko just ran into the corner of that piece of wood over there.
DMP: As I was saying, DMP stands for-
Starseeker: Sorry, we've got to get to someone else.
DMP: **Takes out a knife** You sure?
Starseeker: Erm...uh...okay, talk.
DMP: My name stands for Delusional-
Starseeker: It's time for a commercial!
~~~~
**After the long, long, long, long, boring, mundane, and exasperating break, the show comes back. Without DMP, who's been taken back to the asylum from which she had come. The others aren't there either.**
Starseeker: Let's bring out our last 2 guests!
**There's a roar of applause, people stand up and cheer.**
Starseeker: Where are they?
**Steve-0 and Pinto walk on to the stage and sit down**
Starseeker: Pinto, we'll start with you.
Pinto: Oh, goody.
Starseeker: Watch it. I am writing this after all.
Steve-0: All the more reason to pity you.
Starseeker: You parody writers are pushing your luck.
Pinto: Let's just get this over with before we kill the audience.
Starseeker: What's what supposed to mean?
Pinto: Look at the crowd! They're hanging for dear life!
Starseeker: Then why didn't they leave?
Steve-0: May have something to do with the super glue on their seats.
Pinto: This blows! I'm out of here! **Stands up, storms out of the building, and promptly gets hit by a bus.**
Stupid little voice coming from somewhere: D'oh!
Everyone: Shut up!
Steve-0: Boy, that was unexpected.
Starseeker: Yeah.
Steve-0: What now?
Director: Cut it!
Starseeker: Stuff it!
Steve-0: What?
Director: No, cut it!
Starseeker: Alright, drop it then!
**A beam falls down, hitting Brat Girl in the head.**
Director: Idiot! I said cut the show! We're done!
Starseeker: Er...okay, that's all the time we have!
**Screen fades to black. Then re-opens at Starseeker's house.**
Starseeker: It is done.
Star's mother: _____! It's time to feed the dogs!
Starseeker: All three of them?!
**Starseeker leaves to feed her dogs and then to do a book report.**