bob

"You've never been drunk?"

"No".

"You're...lying?"

Again, Speirs replied with, "No".

Body slightly turned to the side; Nelly stared up at her cousin. "You've never been drunk...". It wasn't a question that time.

Rolling down his window, Speirs lit a cigarette. "I barely finish a glass of anything".

She nodded. "Okay".

A tiny smile settled on his lips. And he mimicked her accent, "Okay".

Smile playing on her own lips, Nelly faced the front. They were driving back to Aldbourne. Nelly was once again, sad to be leaving her cousin. Her few short days with Speirs had been nice. They ate together, went on walks and listened to the radio at night during supper. Nelly almost forgot about her troubled mind. Almost. Speirs could sense something wasn't quite right with Nelly – she hardly smiled or laughed anymore. But then again, a lot of men didn't have the same joy they had before Normandy.

Driving along the main road, Speirs briefly checked his watch – they still had forty minutes to go until reaching Aldbourne. His eyes took a quick glance toward Nelly, who appeared to be in deep thought. Speirs's eyebrows twitched and he faced the road again. Speirs discovered Nelly often appeared to be in deep thought – if she wasn't moving around and constantly doing something. Speirs was also very aware of Nelly's reaction to getting her own room. She didn't grin or seem elated by that – she went quiet and almost looked sad. Or shocked. But Speirs had to remind himself that Nelly came from a broken home.

"Are you – uh...". Speirs's hand rubbed the back of his neck. "Overwhelmed or anything?"

"Different". Nelly said quietly. "Like...the home and stuff...".

"Yeah, I understand". Speirs said, "But you...do you like the house?"

"Yeah". She said softly. "I just...I didn't think I'd...". Nelly tried to find the correct words – which was difficult for her. But Speirs waited patiently. "Be alive".

Speirs's foot accidentally pressed against the brakes. "Wait – sorry...". Clearing his throat, he pulled his foot off the brake and continued to inch the car forward. Calmly, he asked, "What do you mean?"

With a shake of her head, Nelly stared down at her lap. "I don't know...". She whispered.

Trying to focus on the road ahead of him, Speirs nodded slowly. "Well, let's figure it out – we've got forty minutes left". He said, "Are you telling me you didn't think you'd make it this far?" He asked. "Cause that's normal, you know? We were in a lot of sticky situations in Normandy".

It wasn't the whole truth. But Nelly knew the truth would break his heart. "Yeah". She said.

"Well, you made it". Speirs reminded her. "And you'll do it again and you'll make it".

He had a lot going on – he was going to be a father soon. Nelly didn't want to burden him with those thoughts in her head. She didn't want to burden anyone. And even if she did, she wasn't sure how to explain everything. How do you tell someone you want to die peacefully in bed as an old lady, but don't want to live life to get to that point?

With a quiet sigh, Nelly pulled off her boots and placed her feet on the edge of the seat. It was warm inside the car. So, she rolled her window down and felt a breeze cool her off. Once again, her skin was hot and sweaty. But she denied being ill to Speirs. Nelly didn't feel feverish or sick – she just felt warm. Her brown eyes watched the passing greenery. And she suddenly thought of Alex. During random points in the day, Alex would pop up in her head. And the quell in her gut would dwindle and warmth would spread to soothe her stomach. Lips pressed together, Nelly stuck her hand out of the window and spread her fingers out.

"You know...". Speirs said to her, voice somewhat humorous. "If a truck or a car passes by, it'll take your hand right off".

"I'm on the grass side...". Nelly said, "This isn't America".

He chuckled. "You got me there".

And jokingly, Nelly tucked her hand inside her shirt sleeve. With a fake cry, she showed Speirs and said, "It's gone!"

Speirs chuckled again and gently shoved her shoulder. "Quit it, come on...".

Smiling playing on her lips, Nelly brought her hand back out of her shirt. "Ronnie?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

"Were you ever in love before Edwyna?"

Small smile settling on his lips, Speirs shook his head. "Nope. Never".

"How did you know...you loved her?"

"Well...I guess it happened quickly". Speirs said, "I saw her, and I thought...she's beautiful...".

Smiling small, Nelly leaned back against her seat.

"And I got to know her". He continued, "And her bright and cheerful personality. She had a hard time...she lost an old boyfriend in the war and...yeah, we met and...we just quickly hit it off".

"But...how did you know?" Nelly pressed softly.

"Uh – it was like this sudden feeling".

"Like...when you need the toilet?"

Speirs coughed out a tiny laugh. And said, "Uh...sorta...yeah, I guess. Just this warm, nice feeling in the pit of my stomach. You realise you'd do anything to make that person happy. And you'd do what you can, to make their life nice and...comfortable".

Nelly thought back to the love she felt for Alex. "Like...if they were scared...you'd help them not feel scared anymore...or if they cried, you'd wipe their tears".

"Yeah". Speirs said, "Just like that".

"It's an...impulse. You'd just do it". She said, "No matter what".

"Yeah". Speirs agreed.

"They could have anyone...but they pick you". Nelly said softly. "It's funny...".

"I consider it luck". Speirs said, "I'm one lucky guy".

All she wanted to do now, was see Alex.

Nelly missed him.

...

Nelly had never attempted to climb up the side of a house, but she was willing to give it a go at midnight. Using the vines and a drainage pipe, Nelly scaled the side of a house and climbed up to reach a window – which was just barely open. Releasing one hand from the pipe, Nelly opened it the rest of the way and then swung her leg over – so, one leg was inside the house and the other dangled outside. Fully letting go of the pipe, Nelly jumped into the bedroom. Approaching one of the occupied beds, Nelly gave an arm a gentle shake. The once sleeping trooper opened his eyes.

"Nelly?"

"Shh...". Nelly hushed.

Eyes squinting in the darkness, Alex frowned. "Are you okay?" He whispered.

She gave the bed a nod and Alex pulled back the blanket and moved over, making space for Nelly. Sliding into the bed, he pulled the blanket over them, and Nelly rolled onto her side to face Alex. Though happy to see Nelly, he was mildly confused.

"Is this a sleepover?" He whispered with a hint of humour.

In a bed close by, a trooper was fast asleep.

Nelly's fingers softly pressed against Alex's cheek. "I wanted to...to see you, Alex".

He nodded slowly. "Okay". He whispered. And didn't ask why.

"And I was...wondering...". She whispered, "If you would be my boyfriend?"

A wide smile met Alex's lips. He nodded. "I'd love that, Nelly".

Smiling softly, Nelly's fingers gently trailed down his cheek. "You're my dream...Alex".

He appeared slightly confused.

"Girls...they dream about...princes and being rescued". She whispered, "I don't dream about that because...it's my real life...you are my dream".

Alex swallowed a tearful lump in his throat. Her words were truly touching.

"And in darkness...sometimes...it's so dark...". Nelly continued quietly. "And I only have to remember that...that you exist and...and it doesn't feel so dark anymore".

A tear rolled down Alex's cheek and Nelly wiped it away with her thumb.

"Do you remember...Mackall...it feels so long ago". She said quietly.

With a gentle sniff, Alex nodded. "It does". He agreed.

"You...showed me how to brush my teeth". Nelly said, "You took care of me. Always".

"I remember". He said lightly.

Nelly smiled small. "Chicken legs...you said...I had chicken legs".

"I did". Alex said with a smile of his own. "Then you said I had nice eyes and...well, that did it for me. I knew then, I was 'gonna...I was 'gonna love you".

"You were the first person to hold me...". Nelly whispered.

Alex blinked. "Aw, Jesus...". He was trying to blink tears away.

"First to hold my hand...". Nelly continued in a hushed voice. "My first friend...and boyfriend".

"You know I'm a sensitive guy...".

Nelly took his hand. "I don't judge tears, Alex".

With a tiny sniff, he said, "The fellas don't know that".

"Alex...you cry over good food". She joked lightly.

Alex huffed out a laugh. But he couldn't deny the truth. "Yeah, that's true. I've done that".

The amusement left her eyes when she began to quietly tell him, "When I was ten...I made my mum and brother porridge...".

It came as a shock to Alex, to learn that Nelly's own father had killed his own wife and child. But it didn't stop there, he soon learned Nelly was sent to stay in a facility for the mentally ill. It was hard to hear, that she was locked away for four years. But Alex felt proud that Nelly was finally telling him what had happened. Woodilee Hospital sounded like a grim place. Nelly mentioned being locked inside a room for a long time.

"They thought...I was bad and...dangerous".

It explained so much, Alex thought. Of how she thought of herself. "You were ten". He reminded her quietly.

"They...just saw a monster". Nelly whispered, "It was me".

"You weren't a monster". Alex whispered, "You never were".

"When I...I was imprisoned in Mauthausen...".

Alex felt his stomach turn when she mentioned that place.

"It was...I was used to being locked away". She said quietly, "Maybe...that's what saved me".

"Honey...". Alex said softly, "None of that should have ever happened to you".

"But you...". Nelly said, "You should have happened".

A tearful smile met his lips. "Maybe we would have met anyway".

"I like to think...we would have". Nelly confessed softly. "Maybe at...a restaurant".

"What am I eating?"

Nelly smiled fondly – of course, he would ask that. "Like...a big steak".

"Yes". Alex nodded. "Yup – with potatoes, right?"

"With potatoes". Nelly confirmed quietly. "Then you drop a potato...".

Alex almost frowned. "What? Really?"

She smiled. "And it rolls...right over to me".

The frown left his face and he smiled.

"That's it...". Nelly whispered, "That's how we would meet".

Alex tenderly placed a hand on the side of her face. "Then we fall in love...just like we love each other now. And we buy a cottage...somewhere in the middle of nowhere. With hills around us and fields".

"And a river?"

"Yeah". Alex smiled softly. "A river too".

Shifting closer to him, Nelly whispered, "Will we kiss now?"

With a faint nod first, Alex leaned down and brought their lips together. It was just like the kiss in Carentan – passionate, deep and beautiful. Nelly's hand ran up to the back of Alex's neck and one of Alex's hands gently grabbed a hold of her waist. The bed creaked softly, as Nelly pressed her body further into him. Alex's eyes popped open.

He ended the kiss. "Hold on...hold on...". Came his breathless response.

"Alex". She whispered.

Puffing out a breath, Alex ran a hand down his face. "Yeah?"

"Can I...sleep here tonight?"

Smiling, Alex wrapped his arms around her. "Anytime, Nelly". He said, "We just...we'll hide you in the morning".

Smiling small, Nelly nodded. "Love you, Alex".

Alex pressed his lips against her forehead. "Love you, Nelly".