Disclaimer: I do not own Dinosaur Expedition Born Free/Kyoryu Tankentai Born Free or Batman No profit is being made from this story.
Author's Note: "Crazy Steve" is the nickname given by Linkara to Batman as depicted in Frank Miller's "All-Star Batman and Robin." If you've seen his reviews' you'll know how accurate a description it is.
Shout-out to Master of the Boot. His story "Steve Universe versus Crazy Steve" was a big inspiration for this.
The Joker laughed maniacally as he ran easily through the woodlands surrounding Arkham Asylum. His latest escape had, as always, gone perfectly and he would soon be back in Gotham preparing to enact his new scheme to cause mass murder and chaos. He was so focused on the imagined havoc he was going to spread that he didn't notice the strange and unfamiliar vegetation around him. Not that he would have paid it much attention even if he had.
His mad laughter was abruptly cut off as he ran into a wall, or at least something that felt like a wall, and fell flat on his rear. He stood and looked up at what he'd ran into. And up.
Before him was a huge creature as long as two elephants. It had scaly green skin, long crocodile-like jaws filled with pointed teeth and powerful hind legs ending in sharp claws. A large sail ran down its back.
"Well now" the Joker said, his voice uncharacteristically calm. "That's something you don't see every day."
The dinosaur lunged forwards and with one snap of its jaws the Joker was bitten in half. He didn't even have time to laugh about the absurdity of the whole thing.
Aboard the transport aircraft Carry Bird, the Born Free team listened closely as Dr. Masaki appeared on the monitor screen.
"We've received a report of a dinosaur roaming the woods outside Gotham City. We've identified it as a Spinosaurus"
Dr. Masaki's face was replaced by an image of a Spinosaurus standing against two silhouettes, a human and a St Bernard, for size comparison. A synthesized voice spoke.
"The Spinosaurus is a species of dinosaur that lived about one hundred and ten million years ago in the Cretaceous Period. It is ten to twelve metres long with a large sail on its back and is a fierce carnivore."
"Oh no. Another big scary one" Gara groaned.
"Never mind the dinosaur. I'm more worried about where we're going" Gon added. "Gotham's one of the most corrupt, crime-riddled cities in the world."
"Don't worry Gon. We won't be going into the city itself, just the surrounding woods" said Reiko reassuringly.
"I'd still feel better if we were nowhere near that place" he grumbled.
Maseo grinned eagerly. "Do you think we'll get to see Batman?"
"It's possible" Reiko replied.
The boy's grin widened and he punched the air excitedly.
"Regardless, our mission is to save the dinosaur and that's exactly what we're going to do" said Joji firmly.
The others all nodded.
Carry Bird touched down and Born Free disembarked. As Carry Bird flew away the team exited their vehicle. Reiko studied the surrounding plant life in fascination, noting several brightly coloured exotic-looking flowers.
"These are all Mesozoic Era plants" she said. "Did you know that flowering plants first became abundant in the Cretaceous Period?"
"That means the Spinosaurus will feel right at home here" Maseo commented.
"Exactly."
"All right. Reiko, collect botanical samples. The rest of us will survey the area" said Joji. "Look for tracks or any signs of recent dinosaur activity. Remember don't go too far."
"Okay."
As the members of Born Free began their mission they were unaware that they were being watched. One of them in particular was being observed very closely.
The figure lowered his binoculars and grinned crazily. He wore a grey and dark blue costume with a cape and a cowl with two pointed ears. On his chest was a black bat emblem and around his waist was a yellow utility belt. He could easily be mistaken for Batman. But he was not Batman. He was the psychotic impersonator known as Crazy Steve.
Maseo Masaki. BORN Free mascot. But he's survived ENCOUNTERS with dinosaurs. Very promising. He just might SUFFICE.
Steve raised his binoculars again and his grin broadened as he saw that Maseo and Don had wandered a little way from the others.
"Time TO make my MOVE. Hit them fast AND hard. Those saps won't know WHAT hit them."
Maseo stopped walking as he spotted dinosaur tracks. He smiled, pleased with himself and was about to contact the others when he noticed something else. There were rust coloured stains on the ground that looked alarmingly like dried blood. As he was studying them Gon and Gara came jogging up to him.
"Maseo! You shouldn't wander off like that. Joji said not to go too far" Gon said.
"Yeah. There's a big fierce dinosaur around here" Gara agreed. "Hey is that blood?"
Before he could reply Don's hackles raised and he started barking.
"What's wrong Don?" Maseo asked.
There was a sudden roar of a high-performance engine. They all were startled as a black car came smashing through the forest, knocking down several trees in the process. The vehicle had a large back-mounted fin and a battering ram in the shape of a mask-like face.
It came to an abrupt halt in front of them and a costumed figure jumped out. Maseo's delighted smile immediately disappeared as he saw the insane grin on the man's masked face. At once he knew this wasn't the real Batman.
In a sudden blur of motion Crazy Steve threw two bat-shuriken at Gon and Gara's faces. They managed to get their arms up in time and both winced as the blades lodged in their forearms.
Don growled and leapt at Steve but the madman knocked him away with a back-fist punch. He then seized Maseo and sprayed gas into his face from nozzles on his glove. The boy went limp and collapsed. Steve cackled and threw him into his car.
"Hey! What do you think you're…?"
Gon's words trailed off as he and Gara fell to the ground, their faces locked in pained grimaces. Steve cackled again.
"Enjoy the snake venom punks!" With that he got back into his car and zoomed away.
Reiko sighed happily as she raised a bright purple flower to her face and inhaled its delightful fragrance. She was always fascinated by the myriad species of plants that had returned to Earth alongside the dinosaurs.
As she finished putting away the specimens that she had gathered she heard the sound of an engine coming from not far away. A few yards away Joji was looking for tracks. He frowned as he also heard the engine.
"That could be trouble" he said. "We had better go and investigate."
"Okay, I'll bring my medical kit."
They arrived just in time to see Maseo being thrown into a car by a costumed man. Immediately they started running but it was too late. The car sped off with Maseo, leaving both Gara and Gon laying on the ground. Don turned to them and started barking frantically.
"Gon! Gara!" Reiko exclaimed. She crouched beside them and checked their pulses. Both were dangerously weak.
"Take care of Gon and Gara. I'll take the Seagull and get Maseo back" said Joji.
"Right!" She had heard the masked man mention snake venom and she recognized their symptoms as that of a neurotoxin. Reiko opened her medical kit and found a vial of snake antivenom which she injected into both of them. She then carefully removed the blades from their forearms and applied dressings to the wounds. Both of them groaned faintly and began to stir. Don padded over and started licking their faces.
"The antivenom is working" she said as she bandaged their wounds. Despite her relief that Gon and Gara would be all right she was worried for Maseo. She hoped that Joji would be able to save him.
Crazy Steve smiled darkly as he glanced at the unconscious boy in the passenger seat. "Get ready my little ward. THOSE tree-hugging hippies have filled YOUR head with ******** about saving THE dinosaurs and harmony with nature and ALL that ****. But we've got A mission! We are AT war and the enemy deserves NO mercy! I'm GOING to put you THROUGH Hell and you're going TO like it."
He heard the whirring of rotors overhead and looked up to see that a small helicopter was following him. "HA! Tough luck sap. I'll LOSE you in…"
Steve's rantings were cut off as something huge and green emerged from the woods right in his path. Steve's car could smash through other vehicles without a scratch, but one kick from the Spinosaurus flipped it into the air where it spun once and then crashed down on its roof.
"Maseo!" Joji cried. He forced himself to wait until the Spinosaurus had lumbered away and then he landed the Seagull. He dashed over to the vehicle and opened the door. Thankfully Maseo was all right although he was still out cold. Steve had been knocked unconscious from the crash. "We'll deal with you later" he said darkly.
He took Maseo out and carried him to the Seagull. As it lifted off, he was unaware of Steve's eyes opening. The crazed vigilante groaned and dragged himself out of his crashed car.
"Looks LIKE I need MORE firepower" he said.
Joji touched down on Born Free and brought Maseo inside. They were immediately met by Reiko and Don.
"Maseo-kun!" she exclaimed as she rushed over to check on the little boy. Don barked worriedly.
"He's been drugged but he's fine" Joji reassured her. "How are Gon and Gara?"
"They're fine too. I've given them an antivenom and treated their wounds" she replied.
"Good. We need to capture the Spinosaurus" said Joji.
Reiko administered an antidote to the knockout gas and Maseo soon woke up. Don immediately jumped up and began licking his face. He laughed and patted the dog's head.
"How are you feeling Maseo-kun?" Reiko asked.
"I'm okay, just a little stiff" he replied as he sat up.
She nodded. "That's a lingering effect of the gas. Don't worry it will soon wear off."
"What happened Maseo?" Joji asked. "Do you have any idea why Batman tried to kidnap you?"
"That wasn't Batman. That was an imposter."
"An imposter?"
"Yes, I've read about him. He's called Crazy Steve" Maseo explained. "He's kidnapped several boys my age to try and brainwash them into being his sidekicks."
"That's terrible," said Reiko.
"Indeed. But we don't need to worry about him, he was knocked out when the Spinosaurus flipped his car over" said Joji. "Now we must find the dinosaur and complete our mission."
Once Maseo had fully recovered the team set out again in pursuit of the Spinosaurus. It did not take them long to locate it. The giant sail-backed dinosaur was making its way through the forest when it abruptly stopped, seeming to sense Born Free's approach. It turned and bared its teeth at the vehicle.
"Gara, prepare to fire the anesthetic rounds" Joji ordered.
"Right away." Gara hurried up to the roof of Born Free and got behind the anesthetic cannon as the Spinosaurus approached them. He fired a charge and a small cloud of white mist was released around the dinosaur's head as it struck home. The Spinosaurus growled but kept moving forwards. Gara fired again and again but it remained undeterred. Gara jumped down through the top hatch, his eyes bulging with fear.
The Spinosaurus slammed its snout into Born Free, making the entire vehicle shake. Gon put it into reverse but the creature followed and kicked it hard. Reiko held Maseo tight as the boy wailed in fear.
"Hold on. Give the anesthetic time to take effect" said Joji firmly.
After a few terrifying moments the Spinosaurus ceased its attack. The giant creature swayed unsteadily and then sank to the ground. Its eyes closed and its breathing became slow and regular. The Born Free team all sighed in relief.
"It's unconscious. Now we can call in Carry Donkey and…"
Joji was interrupted by a loud deep rumbling sound. The team looked over as something emerged from the woods, knocking over a tree as it did so.
It was a huge armoured tank, with massive tracks, two front-mounted machine guns and two missile launchers. Above the missile launchers were a pair of large fins that resembled ears. They realized at once that Crazy Steve was back. The madman's voice blared out from hidden speakers.
"Get OUT of my way! That dinosaur is A menace and I'll going TO kill it!"
"This dinosaur is a protected animal!" Joji said into a microphone. "It is our duty to protect it."
"Get LOST punks!" Steve yelled.
"Gon, cover the dinosaur" Joji ordered.
"Roger." Gon drove the Born Free so that it was between Steve's tank and the Spinosaurus.
"Gara, use an anesthetic charge!"
"Okay" Gara replied nervously. He went back up to the roof and fired another knockout round at the tank. A cloud of white gas briefly surrounded the vehicle
Steve cackled madly. "Nice TRY punks! This baby's FULLY airtight! Now it's MY turn!"
He opened fire with his machine guns. With a terrified wail Gara jumped down through the top hatch again. Bullets drummed loudly against Born Free's metal hull, breaking apart like raindrops.
At the controls Steve snarled as he saw his bullets couldn't pierce Born Free's armour. A second later his insane grin had returned. "Maybe bullets won't CUT it but how about SOME missiles? I just need a little more ROOM and you punks ARE dead!" With a rumble of treads, the tank began to reverse.
"Reiko, prepare the freeze ray!"
She nodded and hurried over to the controls. As the tank stopped reversing, she took aim and fired. A beam of blue-white energy shot from Born Free and hit the tank directly. Immediately it was covered by a thick layer of glittering ice.
Steve began to shiver and his teeth chattered. "C, controls frozen. W, w, weapons aren't r, responding. D, damn you p, p, punks." None of the Born Free team could hear him of course since his speakers were also frozen.
"Well done, Reiko" said Joji. "Now let's get Carry Donkey here and get the dinosaur to the reserve."
The team watched as Carry Donkey hovered over the Spinosaurus. A hatch opened and the transport cage lowered. The two halves folded over the unconscious dinosaur and locked together. It was then raised up into the airship.
Joji looked at Maseo. "I'm sorry you didn't get to meet the real Batman" he said sympathetically. The others all nodded in agreement.
"It's okay. I'm already part of an entire team of heroes" the boy replied brightly.
The adults all smiled fondly. They boarded Born Free and moments later they had docked with Carry Bird and were on their way back to headquarters.
Hours later the ice had finally melted enough for Steve to get out of the tank. He staggered away as he shivered uncontrollably. "I'll g, g, get them f, for this…"
"No, you won't" said a calm, firm voice.
Steve turned and was punched right in the face. He dropped to the ground, out cold. The real Batman glowered down at him.
"I've been looking for you."