~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"STONE!"
Robotnik waits, listening to the echo of his shout bouncing off the walls around him, mentally counting down the seconds until his assistant...
"Yes, doctor?"
... appears out of nowhere again.
Despite having anticipated it, Robotnik nearly jumps out of his skin when Stone speaks up from right next to him, having made no sound while approaching. With a growl, the doctor reaches for the nearest empty latte cup and hurls it past Stone's head. His sycophant doesn't even blink. "What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?!"
"Sorry, doctor" Stone does not sound apologetic in the slightest. "Force of habit."
"Well force yourself into another habit. It's annoying." In all honesty, it is only annoying when the agent manages to scare him into something undignified like screaming in surprise. And it is quite funny when he does it to other people.
Shaking that train of thought of, Robotnik turns back to the matter at hand, and the reason he had to shout after his assistant in the first place. "What," he gestures at the holoscreen in front of them, displaying his calendar in bright colors, "pray tell, is that?"
Leaning in closer to see what the doctor is pointing at, Stone hums thoughtfully once he finds the note in question. "That would be the appointment for the inspection of the first tank-Badnik variation the military tried to build, doctor."
"I can read, Stone, thank you so much. What I want to know is why is it penciled in, for today no less?" With a scoff, Robotnik snaps his fingers. The Badnik hovering behind Stone beeps agreeably and starts to ready its laser. "I have half a mind to blast the whole screen up just so I do not have to see it there anymore, and I want you to know I blame you for it, Stone."
For all the doctor's postering, Stone stays remarkably calm. He looks faintly amused, even. "That would be the third holoscreen in two weeks, doctor, and by the last one you reminded me to stop you before you destroy any more valuable equipment. So, please don't."
A peculiar mix of amusement and annoyance wells up in the doctor and he presses two fingers to the bridge of his nose. He is never quite sure if he should reprimand the agent for being this cheeky with him, or openly laugh at it. So, torn, he reverts back to option three - snapping. "Stone. Don't remind me of what I said yesterday like I'm an average human - delete that appointment from the list!"
"Before I do that, can I try to explain?"
"... Hm. One sentence, no more."
It is a well-known game between them now, and so far, Stone has not failed once at it. He thinks briefly, before rattling off, "After you expressed frustration with the hungry monkeys and their demands for the last few weeks, I figured being able to point out every single one of their mistakes on their own lacking project would help you relieve some of that stress."
"Hmmmm," Robotnik tilts his head, squinting at his assistant until he finds what he is looking for. A triumphant smirk curls his moustache when he snorts. "That sounds all very nice and oh so caring of you, Stone, but knowing you as well as I do, it's obvious you're doing it mostly because you enjoy seeing me rip into people."
Not ashamed in the slightest by being called out, Stone only smiles widely, shrugs. "That's part of it."
"I have one sick assistant," Robotnik laments. And one who knows me too well. With a clack of his tongue, he orders the Badnik to stand down and closes the calendar again. "Fine. You're lucky I could need a break from work anyway, else I would fire you for trying to use me to indulge your whims."
"Of course, doctor."
Hm. No reaction. There used to be a time when that threat actually worked... a little, at least. Now it feels like they both know all too well that it is never going to happen. Oh, well, Robotnik thinks with a to find something else to pass the time with.
Like tearing into imbeciles for trying to - badly - replicate his work.
Granted, the terrible work is not the main reason why he wants to one up them. The main reason - and he is sure it's Stone's reason for this, too - is the fact that he had been fighting his employers for the past weeks on the fact that someone had tried to kidnap him from his own lab - and what had his employers done about it? Nothing. They had refused to look into the matter. Too risky, they had declared. After all, Robotnik and his work are kept half-secret from the rest of the world, and making waves by investigating in his name could easily lead to discovery of secrets the government is desperate to keep under a tightly closed lid.
Basic low lives, the lot of them, Robotnik thinks with a new wave of hatred, feeling his teeth grind. He wants nothing more than blast them to pieces even on good days, but he needs them and their resources still, so that is not an option. Tearing into them and dragging every single one of their mistakes to light, rubbing it in until the reminder is as permanent as a scar... that is nowhere near close to the blasting, but it is a more harmless alternative and thus acceptable for the time being.
Well. Stone really knows him too well.
"Grab my laptop, Stone," Robotnik commands, waving the other off. "We're going to that mind-numbing inspection. I want to see how badly they managed to mutilate my creation while I wasn't looking."
Stone darts for the laptop and is back by his side before Robotnik has taken two steps towards the door, falling into step with him with a kind of ease only practice brings. He is checking something on his own tablet as they leave, smirk hidden in the corner of his mouth. "Well, according to the email they sent, they hope you could take a look at the power source. They exchanged it for a bigger one but it wasn't compatible, so..."
"... so it won't even start anymore" Robotnik finishes while they step out into the open, rolling his eyes so hard they nearly get stuck. "Incredible. Failed on step one. Why am I not surprised? Bleugh. If that is the level of stupidity, I have to deal with the whole time we're there, I'm leaving within the half hour. Feel free to shoot our way free if you have to, Stone. That's an order."
He can see Stone shaking with suppressed laughter even as he clears his throat, fighting for a professional tone. "If it helps, I also planned in a longer dance break after the inspection, to take your mind off it."
"Oh good, you did something right today," Robotnik snarks while he opens the car's door and ducks to cram his long limbs into the minimal space.
He swears he can hear Stone snort somewhere behind him but he elects to ignore it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robotnik throws open the door before the car has come to a stop, eager to get this farce over and done with.
A quick check of his surroundings does not particularly raise his hopes for this to be even a little interesting. Generic, non-descript building in military style, too many people all dressed the same milling about, and with just one look, he can already identify half a dozen flaws in the security. All in all, this is shaping up to be another boring waste of his precious time. Hopefully, there would be at least some fun through insulting of imbeciles to be had.
Tapping at his wrist screen, he sets a timer for exactly an hour and a half. By then, he wants to be out of here at the latest - if he can even stand the collective stupidity present in this facility for that long.
„Doctor?" Stone materializes at his side, looking more tense than he usually would. It is enough to actually draw Robotnik's attention, and he gives a questioning hum.
"Is it really alright that we didn't take a single Badnik with us?"
Robotnik stops typing. He knows where that worry comes from, and it is not as if it's an unfounded one. After the incident, Robotnik had been quite jumpy and even more paranoid than usual himself, upgrading the security system of the lab (and making sure to always activate it) and adding voice activation to the Badniks, all in order to make sure an incident like that almost-kidnapping could never happen again.
But if he is entirely honest with himself, more honest than he is wont to do, then what really put his mind at ease was Stone's continued presence. The agent had been right there, half a step behind him, at all times of the day, crazy working schedule and all. Knowing that there is someone watching his back actually feels... pleasant, Robotnik supposes. More than he would like to admit. More than he would admit to the man himself, anyway.
(There is a reason why Stone is currently unaware that he has the same access rights to most of Robotnik's creations as the doctor himself. Robotnik is still trying to figure out how to admit that without making a big step thing of it; he is lightyears away from admitting that Stone makes him feel safe.)
Scoffing, Robotnik waves Stone's concern off with faked derision. "Please, Stone, don't you think I have a dozen of tricks up my sleeve even without my babies with me? No matter what happens, we will be fine."
Looking not fully convinced, Stone at least relaxes marginally. "Of course, doctor."
"Good." A quick glance, looking the agent over. "You are wearing the bulletproof suit, I hope?"
Whatever Stone tension had still held in his shoulders slips off and a smile tugs at his lips. "It is very comfortable to wear."
"Funny," but he is absolutely right, Robotnik had designed the light yet incredibly sturdy material half with comfort in mind, else he would never have made his clothes out of the same material. Anyway. He frowns and steps up to the agent, smoothing down his lapels and straightening his cravat. "At least wear it properly, you know how these monkeys are about appearances."
Under his touch, Stone goes momentarily very, very still before he starts to breathe again. "I'm - sorry, sir."
Stone is always a little like this, Robotnik thinks - sharp and clever and efficient, but only until the doctor decides to get close. Then he becomes more hesitant, almost shy. A little surprised, maybe. Awed, most likely. It is an interesting change, and Robotnik has started to provoke it more and more often, invading his agent's space every now and again as if he owns it. Because, in a way, he does. Where the rule used to be no violence, so no touching, there is a new rule now: Stone is his agent. The agency might not know it, but Stone is no longer theirs; he is Robotnik's now, through and through. Maybe, always has been.
With one decisive tug, Robotnik rights the cravat's knot, and ends that particular train of thought with it. "There. Now I can actually be seen with you."
Stone's smile is radiant while he pats down his cravat. "Thank you, sir."
"Don't let it happen again," deciding that was quite enough of a break, Robotnik finishes the touch up by stomping down on his agent's foot, hard. The perplexed, pained swearing while the man hops on one leg is music to his ears. "Wide open, Stone! What kind of assistant is this careless?"
"My bad," comes the wheezed reply, and Robotnik barely stops himself from cackling like a maniac.
"Doctor Robotnik."
The entertaining moment is ruined by the curt call. Robotnik instantly sobers and tilts his head to glance over to the intruder. To him, the man stopping in front of them and saluting neatly looks like any other of the thousands upon thousands of generic military personnel he has had the misfortune of meeting in his work, so he leans over to Stone with a questioning cock of his eyebrow. On cue, Stone murmurs out of the corner of his mouth, "The major who wanted to pitch the idea of a bigger and better tank-Badnik to you."
Ah. He remembers that moment - if only because the fallout of it had nearly caused him to fire Stone.
Instantly, Robotnik is no longer interested to hear whatever this major so-or-so has to tell him.
"It is good to see you again, doctor," the imbecile starts briskly. "We were not sure if you would follow our request after you rejected the project, so we-…."
"Why is he already talking to us?" Robotnik says to Stone, loud enough to be sure he is overheard perfectly clear. „Don't they know that I can only tolerate a minimum of mind-numbing jabbering before calling it a day?"
„Probably didn't get the memo, doctor."
It is said in an absolutely deadpan way, but Robotnik sees the glitter in Stone's eyes when he glances over, and snorts quietly at the jab at his own person. „Got a dislike for memos, Stone?"
„Only the one's that suddenly go missing-…"
Next to them, the major clears his throat lightly; he seems to regret it immediately when both Robotnik's and Stone's attention snap back to him. He nearly shifts a step back before finding his footing again, clearing his throat a second time.
Robotnik cuts in before he can get a single word out, already having enough of the idiot. „Look, just, show us in, and I will take the rest from there. I don't need your platitudes, and i certainly don't want your opinion on… anything, really. Just walk ahead, and do minimal talking. Even you should manage that much."
The major snaps his mouth shut with a click of clacking teeth, face reddening rapidly. All his enthusiasm for having the important visitor here seems to go up in smoke in a matter of seconds. Stiffly, the man murmurs a tight "Follow me, please" and turns on his heels to walk ahead towards what seems to be main entrance; a simple looking glass door with two guards positioned left and right.
Robotnik follows, feeling more than seeing Stone fall into step behind him. He is busy letting his gaze drift left and right unsuspiciously, confirming with little surprise his earlier assessment of the subpar security system of the place. It would take him two, no, one minute at most to hack into the whole thing and shut it all down just for fun, and Stone could possibly deal with the few guards stationed around in a similar amount of time. If there really should be ever any trouble with his own employer, they would have do to better than this if they wanted to stop him...
There is not even a metal detector, Robotnik notes with a sneer as he crosses the doorstep right after the major and nothing happens. At least that much, he would have expected.
Just then, there is a quiet hiss in his back. He glances over briefly, only to do a subtle double take when he realizes what he is looking for is not at his side like he has come to except. He stops walking immediately, forcing his guide to do the same once the major notices he is no longer there.
With a sharp breath, Robotnik clears his throat. "Ahem. Major Who's-it-again…"
"It's Smi-…"
"… Major Who-cares-not-me. What's the meaning of this?" Robotnik points at the sliding door which had closed behind him and the major. Through the glass, he can clearly see Stone on the other side, talking insistently to the guards blocking his way. For an outsider, he might even look calm while doing it. To Robotnik's eyes, it's clear that he is seething.
It would almost be fun to see what would happen if he just waits here and lets Stone find his own way in – would he take the nice or the violent way? Chances probably lay forty to sixty. Ah, no - thirty-seventy, considering one of the guards had just made the mistake of pushing the agent back a step.
But while Robotnik is still turning the idea over in his mind, the empty bag of air next to him makes the mistake of speaking up again, sounding cautious. "You mean… the door, sir?"
"The door! My, what a brilliant observation," Robotnik drawls, slowly clapping his hands in mocking praise. "You really must have shot up the ranks at highspeed with such talents. Now, let's make this a little more difficult, shall we? Just a little, don't worry, we will start easy for you. Try telling me why, exactly, that door is currently between me and my assistant."
The major's face had taken a few interesting shades of color during his little speech, going from pale to red over to an unhealthy-looking shade of dark purple. Only his lips are white when he says through gritted teeth. "With all due respect, sir, but there are safety protocols in place to make sure that only authorized personnel can enter this…"
"Exactly," Robotnik interrupts. "The authorized personnel. Do you really believe that I'm not authorized, Major Rainbow Face?"
"Of course, you-…"
"And don't you maybe think – and I know that's probably not an activity you often participate in, but do indulge me this one time – that my assistant should be authorized as well?"
"It is not within my power to decide-…"
"Precisely." Dropping all pretenses of a fake smile, dripping with malice or not, Robotnik hisses in the man's face, "It is within mine. And now get that man in here, or step back and watch him make his own way."
There is a tense moment where the major seems to fight with himself over whether or not it is smart to cross someone like Robotnik. The doctor watches it all play out behind the pinched expression of the imbecile, the pros and cons, the slowly dawning realization that he would get crushed if he tried... before the major breathes out heavily through his nose and turns, gesturing for someone on the other side of the glass.
"Very good," Robotnik comments dryly when he hears the tell-tale hiss of the door opening. "Now buzz off. Find somewhere else to be useless."
A vein throbs on the major's forehead, but he is at least smart enough to take the doctor's order. He turns stiffly and walks down the hallway so fast it is nearly a jog.
In the imbecile's wake, a very much annoyed Stone appears, rushing down the hallway towards the doctor with an expression that would have put a thundercloud to shame.
Robotnik hides his smirk by making a show of checking his wrist screen for the time. "Agent Stone! So glad you could make it. What took you so long?"
"One month," Stone says through his teeth, storming right past him and further down the hallway without slowing down, forcing Robotnik to keep up with him for once. "One month since you have officially announced that you will not be needing another assistant, and they still can't be bothered to correct my access rights."
"Don't expect intelligence where there is none to be found, Stone. You will be disappointed."
"Can't I at least expect a minimum of idiocy, that would be nice."
Oh, he is furious, and it is glorious to see. It always delights Robotnik to witness this side of Stone; as much as he likes his assistant's eager-to-please side who is full of praises for him at all times, this, this in combination to the other side of the medal, is why he has come to consider him a valuable asset: That part of him that has no patience for fools, and who is ready to knock down a peg whoever is crazy enough to stand in their way. It always assures him that he has found the perfect assistant at last.
Hand darting forward quick as a snake, Robotnik grabs Stone by the shoulder and stops him in front of the door he had nearly marched past; the one they had been looking for. Stone notices his slipup immediately. He pulls a face, looking as if he is about to apologize, but Robotnik grins and shakes his head, stopping him with one raised finger. "Bababa! Keep up that exact attitude, Stone. It will do nicely for this. We're going in there now, and in less than a minute, I will start insulting everyone in that room, and your job will be to translate for me. As scathingly as possible."
That seems to improve Stone's mood, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth while his eyes brightened. "Gladly, Doctor. Dumbing it down as much as possible, I take it?"
"Stone. They can't even get access rights corrected. Speaking to them like they were toddlers would already be too advanced. Do your absolute worst. "
The smile on Stone's face turns into a full-blown grin while Robotnik lets go off him and whirls around on his heel, ready to stride into the room and run the show. Very quietly, the Doctor catches to his left "I love this job" just before he throws open the door, and his own grin widens into something truly terrifying to see.
He no longer has any doubt of the sincerity in that statement.