Chapter 19 Increasing Sadness
Solar set himself slowly on his bed, the creaking of the frame sounding like it was crying right alongside him. He wiped a few tears away, but the intensity was too strong. The salty taste coated his lips like make up. The glittering wetness made his cheeks feel like deep saltwater lakes.
He threw himself on the pillow. His crying increased, each moment making it stronger and stronger. It wasn't until he lifted his head that he saw the glittery mess on the pillow. Blues, whites, purples and yellows and reds stained it like the painting of a famous artist.
Now Solar felt angry. He knew that he had come alive through happenstance, through a once in an eon event that could never be replicated through artificial means. There was no rhyme or reason behind his existence. The universe had just decided to allow the comets to collide.
Why did the universe have to be so cruel?
Solar pulled his blanket up over his body. The day he moved again would be the day he stopped caring. The day he stopped worrying about how his Mama felt about him. The day he stopped worrying about his powers, whether it be flying or stopping time or creating cosmic clones. The day he moved again would be the day that he was no longer a person, but rather, a monster.
He turned over. At this point in time, him becoming a monster seemed like an inevitably. He was halfway tempted to just resign to his fate. After all, he had been fighting it for the better part of two years. This fight, no matter how morally righteous or how justifiable it was, still left him hurting. He hurt from the start of the day to the end of the day. He hurt in a way that made his heart scream blue bloody murder. The pain was so intense that no amount of talking to people, no amount of consoling or outside help could fix it.
But he still needed to keep up this fight. Part of him knew that if he gave up and just allowed his dark side to take control, then others would hurt. They would hurt beyond all comprehension. Planets would crumble, and their stars would mourn their loss for centuries. So no, he couldn't stop fighting this fight. No matter how tempting the idea was.
"Solar?"
Solar lifted his head to see a luma in the doorway. The creature's eyes shined with a playful, happy go lucky attitude.
"What is it?" Solar asked.
The luma floated into the dome. "Do you want to play? We have lots of time before Mama makes dinner."
Solar sighed. "That's okay." He pulled the covers up even further, so now they were practically touching his chin.
"Are you sure?" asked the luma.
"Yes, I'm sure."
The luma giggled. "Oh, come on!" He floated down so that he was level with Solar. He proceeded to do a lot of things on his covered up body; jumping on him, shaking him, doing little cartwheels on him. While this increased the luma's giddiness, it had the opposite effect on Solar. He glared at the luma.
"Will you cut it out?"
"Of course not, you silly goo!" He jumped some more. "I want to play with you! Please please please please PLEASE!"
"No!" Solar buried his head underneath his glittery messy pillow.
"Oh come on! It'll be fun! We can play house, tag, hide and seek…"
"NO!" Solar shouted. Once he did, a shockwave was expelled from his body. The poor luma was pushed back, right into the wall. The poor thing fell to the ground, a lump the size of an apple forming on his top point.
"Oh no!" Solar said with a gasp. He bolted over to the luma. "Are you alright?"
The poor thing shook like a frightened puppy. When Solar laid his hands on it, it zipped out of the Terrace. Solar felt tears well up in his eyes again.
"What have I done?" he whispered out loud. He looked down at his sparkly hands. What once was beautiful now looked deadly. "What will…" he gasped. "What will Mama think?"
Should would without a doubt be angry. Now knowing for certain that Solar can and will do harm, she would probably be scared out of her mind. All the hugs and kisses she gave him, all the laughter they shared and the love she bestowed on him would cease. Solar would probably be seen as a danger to her, her and the lumas. She would see him as a monster.
Because that's what he was. He was a monster.
Solar wiped more tears, trying to think about what he could do, what he should do. He couldn't stay here. There were too many lumas, too many potential victims. Solar needed to leave. But where exactly would he go? That was the question, as most planets were occupied with some kind of alien or another.
He needed to find someplace desolate. Some place closed off from the universe, someplace where no time halting or cosmic clone making would bring someone harm.
Realizing this, Solar rose into the air. Even though using his flying power made him feel like the worst person in the universe, he didn't would travel the whole universe until he found what he was looking for. He would make sure that no creature would ever fall into harm's way again. He needed to do this. He needed to leave.
For his Mama's sake.
…
Rosalina sat in her library. The warmth of the fire did not heat up the chills in her blood. She shook and trembled, now more than ever fearing for the future. Her future. The luma's future. Solar's future.
"Are you alright?"
Rosalina let out a breath as Polari floated into the room. "No. No, I'm not."
"Why not?" His eyes grew wide. "Did…did you not find Solar?"
"Oh no, I found him." Rosalina held herself even tighter. "He uh…he developed a new power."
Polari's eyes grew even wider. "Oh my." He patted his princess on the shoulder. "I'm really sorry about that."
Rosalina sucked in a breath. "I'm just…really worried, Polari. Scared, I guess you could say."
"Hmm. Yes, that makes sense." His brow furrowed. "But you need to stay strong. Solar's just a little kid, Rose. I imagine this is probably just as scary for him than it is for you. Maybe even more so."
Rosalina felt a pang. Polari was right. Solar was just seven years old. Rosalina remembered when she was seven, how scary and uncomfortable stuff had been. She needed to go easier on him. She needed to go easier on her son.
"You're right." She rose from the rocking chair. "I need to help him."
With that and one more approving nod from Polari, she exited. She would make sure that Solar's pain was mitigated. She had to. This was as much his problem as it was hers. It was only right.