Can I have a little hope?

Even if it was just a fleeting hope that would be blown away by the wind. Even though I knew it would disappear like dust. Even though it would be broken into small fragments that could no longer be seen.

But I can hope, right?

I used to think that everything would be fine, even though I was aware that you hide a secret from me. A secret that was actually about your life. A secret that actually foreshadowed the future.

I should have realized it back then. I should have confronted you immediately. I should have...

But it was all in the past. I didn't know how long I'd been trying to forget you. Perhaps you didn't want to ask how I was doing, but I wanted to say that I almost forgot that you were ever in my life.

Ah, almost.

Then, why am I sitting by the window right now, daydreaming?

Because I hadn't forgotten you. To be precise, I couldn't. There was still a small fragment of you at the bottom of my heart, ready to strike the moment I started to erase my memory of you.

Today was the same day as that day.

"I'm sorry..."

Everyone might dream of becoming an adult, however, what I wanted was to dive back into my youth. When our love was still innocent when the future seemed so far away.

Naive? Yes, you could call me naive. You could call me childish for not wanting to face reality. That I was just a fan of fairy tales. That I was a spoiled girl who could only think about love, experiencing happy things in my lover's embrace.

A glimmer of hope began to appear when you told me a little bit about your past. But no, it never happened again. You would always be far, far, unreachable. Even though I tried my hardest to reach you, trying to grab your hand.

Just once, I wanted to help you who had fallen, you never let me do even a little. No matter what I did, it was always you who saved me, protected me, and took care of me, even if I thought I had done all I could to protect you. It was always you. And without saying anything, you walked away.

You know what? It hurts. It hurts so much.

It did. I admitted it. I wasn't like you who had experienced bitterness since childhood. We were different. What was painful for me, probably not necessarily be painful for you.

But was that why I couldn't be your support? Was that why I couldn't be with you?

"Thank you for everything, Kei..."

Five years had passed so slowly since that day, when you decided that you would go on your own path.

I was still here, having my own life. Spinning the wheel of time that would never stop. And so were you. I didn't know where you were, and you certainly didn't want to tell me. Because like you said, our lives were different.

And like you said, we would start our own lives. You were right. Maybe we would never see each other again, and yes, I was ready for that. Life was hard, things didn't always go the way we wanted them to. I understood that.

But you would never know. Behind the hard life, I always carved my story. I'd always kept my hopes. Even though I knew hope was as thin as a spider's web, even though I knew hope was so fragile that would easily be blown by the wind, before being forgotten.

I was still keeping my hopes together with little fragments of you, trying to write our story. With a little hope left. With a glimpse of the final words that kept ringing in my ears. With a little shadow of you that disappeared after passing that gate.

That there was still light at the bottom of your heart that you once wanted to bury deeply to leave everything behind. I wanted to keep those memories, trying to weave them into a fairy tale, an illusion about the shadow of longing and love.

Even though I knew it was just my delusion.

But I can hope, right?

Hoping that you would come back into my life again after you thanked me back then.

Ah, it turns out I still love you after all...