Entry Two : The Shadows

A long while had passed since the Hunter's lost Jaren Ward. Though I did not know him on a personal level, his sympathy and care of the helpless is a lost to all Risen. Speaking of which, apparently we are no longer called as such. The Vanguard Commander anointed that we start being called Guardians. I suppose it's fitting, considering all we do is guard. Then again, titles do not bother me.

I remember having a conversation with K9-2, at one point, before he took on his fatherly role with me. It was about Exo's, and whether or not their human consciousness could still be considered their original selves if the memories of that person has been wiped. For him, twice already. We bickered back and forth about it a lot. Usually ending with Seleste threatening us with a Nova Bomb.
But even still, Exo's kind of freak me out. I can never quite tell if it's perhaps an A.I trying to be human, or if the real human within is still just that. If anything, I'm surprised Exo's stand out as much as they do. I suppose when there was more of, well, humanity, to keep the peace and the structure of society in tow, they'd try to make robots look as human as possible, so that an emotional connection could be made with them if a human could still look at them as another human. But when I look upon an Exo, I do not see myself capable of loving a machine.

I barely tolerate the one that keeps reviving me…

However, I contradicted myself the day I had to listen to K9-2's final audio transmission to me, before he and his Ghost were cut down by Taken. We had never seen this sort of foe before. They weren't Fallen, or the Hive who made their nest on our Moon. These creatures jittered and phased around, yet all seemed to follow the same order. But an order from who? This lack of intel from the Vanguard who sent us out on a Strike they dubbed "Lake of Shadows", is what got my Fireteam permanently resigned that day.
Like always, I had ran ahead. Determined to find our target first whilst listening to the constant lectures from K9-2 and the mocking insults that caused no harm to me from Seleste. Yeah, even she lost her Ghost and life that day. I heard their shells crumble through their transmissions and I heard both Seleste and K9-2 calling for help from me, but I did not make it in time.

I was pinned… Had to use my invisibility sparingly as I tried to keep moving. All I really wanted to do was go back and at least retrieve their Ghosts. I hoped if I could at least retrieved them, then the Traveller could bring them all back. The Vanguard then finally managed to reach me, and told me to get out of their too. Thought it was a coincidence they only decided to speak up after my friend's deaths, but they claim there was unknown interference from the things we call Taken this day. I begged them to let me go and collect my friends, but I was transmitted out of the area by my own Ghost. To this day, I still hold resentment to him towards that. And he knows it…

I spent the next few months on my knees to the Traveller; begging. Pleading to have my friends back. After all, it was enemies of the Traveller that took them from me. But I was only met with silence. A silence I was starting to get tired of. I was lost… and without my Fireteam. I rarely spoke to my own Ghost, who started to scan me once a day, for his own reasons.
I ventured away from the Vanguard and only ever looked at where my bow's arrow was about to land next. I may have taken on a patrol here and there for some Glimmer so I could eat, but I'm also a Hunter. Living in the wild is what we know best.

Most nights I sat staring at cave ceilings, or listening to the rain as white noise to try and get some sleep. But the guilt… it never left me alone. If I hadn't run off, I could have been there to prevent so much. I'm starting to feel that I don't do well with guilt, and I certainly did not feel any justification from the Light. In time, when I looked up at our dear Traveller, I looked upon it with disdain and resent. I started to realise that Earth only went to hell because of the things that followed the Traveller around. Sure, it boosted our economy, but it's also left us with only one city left. How is that a victory for humanity?

But this was the night I felt it. The creeping Darkness. I wasn't sure, but it had been following me for some time. And it felt familiar… Similar to how I was made to feel when I stood within Palamon with all of the residents dead. But the Shadows started breathing and minor movements were made as it etched closer to me from within just another generic cave I found to stay the night in. My Ghost scanned in front of me as I raised my bow. He picked up the outlines of a man, draped in a tattered cloak and a cloth covering both his mouth and nose. I remember his eyes the most… Hive green, staring right at me, and he pointed a weapon my way. And then the weapon came into my focus.

It was sorrowful. Twisted from corruption of its former identity. Dark essence seeped out of the end of its barrel, and for the first time, I felt fear.

"So it was true, huh?" The Drifter rubbed under his chin for a moment. "She met the man himself. I bet Mr. Malphur would love to read this. Huh, so you were the first, were ya? Of the Dredgens. The REAL Dredgens, that is… You got lucky that Yor took an interest in ya. I suppose that's the difference between you and Shin. Ya see, Yor's words got to you and he was able to mould you into his little protege. But Shin, well… He was supposed to be the one to replace you once he had created something better. Look how that one turned out…"