Author's Note: I would like to personally thank aquietverisimilitude for their harshly negative review of my fanfiction. This twist is literally possible because of them.

I also strongly encourage you (all but order you) to read their masterpiece-in-the-making Justice, Justice You Shall Pursue. This is exactly the sort of story we need to revive the Death Note fanfiction community - yet another intelligent OC woman with a canon-but-overlooked Shinigami. The less stories about fucking Light Yagami the better, in my opinion. He's had his day. Do you guys have any idea of the narrative potential of the Death Note?

Seriously, READ IT!

-dnpe-

Month 4

"Ryuk, I need to talk to you. Now."

Ryuk immediately looked up from the book he was reading. Stephanie never spoke to him like this. He hoped this meant what he thought it did.

"What happened to 'Sir', Stephanie?"

"You've been lying to me."

Oh boy. She had passed his test. Things were going to get...interesting.

"About what, Stephanie?" He asked mildly.

"The reasons you told me for why you weren't going to kill me. They don't make any sense."

Ryuk was very, very happy, but did his best to act surprised. "Why do you say that?"

"First of all, how could Shinigami be so fascinated by me? I can't be the first human in history to be cautious with this thing. Second of all, how could they all be so easily snapped out of their boredom? It sounds much more like a permanent lethargy to me."

As Ryuk stood up, she did her best to look him in the eye as an equal.

"Tell me what is going on. NOW."

She was expecting Ryuk to deny it. To get angry, maybe. She was not, however, expecting Ryuk to immediately start laughing.

"This is not a joke!" She exclaimed, angry at him for the first time ever.

He stopped laughing, and started slowly clapping.

"Well done, Stephanie," he said. "You have passed my test."

Her confidence evaporated, replaced with confusion. "What...test?"

"You are correct: the Shinigami do not care much for humans, even ones as intelligent as you. However, I do have an important reason for keeping you alive."

"And what might that reason be?" She asked testily.

"You are the second most interesting human I have ever met. And I believe you have the potential to be the most interesting."

Stephanie had gotten decent at reading Ryuk, and he sounded like he was up to no good. His phrasing demanded explanation, though.

"Who was the most interesting?"

Ryuk sighed.

"Your Earth is not the only Earth."

"You mean multiverse theory is correct?" She quickly deduced. He was glad he had picked someone so intelligent.

"Indeed. Shinigami have access to all Earths, across all places. We look for humans to interest us, because our lives are, to be frank, pointless. The Death Note is not truly necessary. Humans all die eventually regardless."

Stephanie was annoyed with Ryuk. This explanation was...annoyingly mundane.

"Which is exactly why we are bored, Stephanie. Humans can invent, create, and influence world events. We have nothing."

"...so you came to me to liven up your pointless existence," she bluntly stated.

"Yep."

"So why all the lies? Why not just tell me straight up?"

"Because, Stephanie Wong, I had to be sure. Across countless Earths, countless realities, only one was more interesting than you: a young man named Light Yagami. You, on the other hand, have greater potential than him. You are cautious. You painstakingly consider the consequences of your actions. Hell, you still haven't killed anyone since Clarence Thomas!"

Ryuk regarded her. She wasn't quite sure how.

"You, Stephanie Wong, have great potential to keep me entertained."

Stephanie was silent for almost ten minutes. Finally, she gave her hand to Ryuk, as if for him to shake it.

"From now on, Ryuk, we are equals. I give you all the apples you want and stop at nothing to keep you entertained. In return, you don't pull any stupid bullshit like this again."

Ryuk stared at her hand for a moment, then finally "shook" it.

"Deal."

-dnpe-

Originally there was going to be two masters of the multiverse, but out of deference to AQV's wishes I have kept Esther Cohen out of my story.

AQV, to quote Light Yagami from The Light In the Abyss: "Take a bow, why don't you? Call it generosity if you will, but this is your win as well."

Review please!