(TW/ for a mild panic attack.)
Passing Papers - Chapter 9.
A Lukadrien fanfic by InfamamousAmooogle.
In a world of his own, Adrien's utterly unaware of the two sets of eyes watching him with concern.
The Couffaines share a glance, communicating all they need with their body language.
A head tilt from Luka. "Is he okay?"
A quiet huff from Juleka. "I'd probably say no."
She glances back at Adrien, then to Luka. "You should do something."
He bristles. "Why me?"
A small smirk and eyebrow raise-
Luka pushes past her, sliding to the floor beside the young celebrity.
"Hey Adrien."
For a short second, Adrien sees his life flashing before his eyes;
"I really just let my guard down how could I be so stupid what will Father say everyone will judge me what did I do why- …. Oh it's just…."
Adrien feels his face flush at the embarrassment of being caught like this.
"Hello Luka."
With Luka now assessing him for any harm, Adrien allows himself to forget the state he left their relationship in, leaning in to the taller boy, a wave of comfort washing over him.
"Why are you here?", he manages to mumble.
Luka brushes a hand through Adrien's hair, holding him gently so he can tell Adrien he's free to leave at any time, whilst wishing to communicate a sense of protection - somewhere safe to just be.
"I thought you could do with some company."
Nothing too deep and personal, yet not a lie. Just right. Without knowing what's gotten Adrien so flustered, Luka dares not risk saying anything to make it worse. The weak exhale that could have been a laugh in response hurts Luka more than the most dissonant melody could. Before he could enquire further, he felt Adrien shift beneath his grasp, a tear-stricken face rising to meet his own.
"…When did he start crying?"
"Adrien…!"
A hand makes its way down from Adrien's hair to cup his cheek, said boy leaning into the touch before gulping in some lame excuse to choke a sob.
Luka feels as if the world has just ground to a halt, any echoing thoughts from the back of his mind of trying to talk through their relationship muffled by the messy sight before him. He's never seen Adrien look anywhere near this drained and weak, and from the lingering presence of Juleka, he assumes this face of Adrien was far from a common sight. Some protective urge pushes him to hold Adrien closer, hoping the silent presence of another person could help calm him, or even-out his breathing at the very least.
Rubbing Adrien's back, he feels the boy's breathing gradually calm, though fingers still nip at his arm. Judging from how still he has become, Luka begins to feel Adrien may be calming - only for that thought to be instantly shattered.
"I'm sorry Luka", Adrien chokes out, head hanging low. "You shouldn't have to see me like this."
The warmth in his chest where Adrien was only seconds before fills with an overpowering cold, Luka having to bite his lip to keep a hiss of surprise from escaping. Whilst he could react emotionally to the situation before him, he forces a soft smile trained almost as well as Adrien's modelling smile. He decides to focus his energy on ensuring his crush - no - the boy with enough compassion in his heart to love for all of Paris, gets the love and care he deserves. It almost disturbs him how fragile and neglected of that love and care Adrien appears.
Luka had always known there was more to Adrien than his perfect image, but such a sharp contrast as this? Oh it hurts. Just at that moment, another sound escapes the latter; Looking down Luka notices the boy beginning to tremble, the skin on his hands taut so white shows at his knuckles. This isn't good.
"Adrien, I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?"
Adrien's eyes drift up ever so slightly, a flash of doubt and confusion crossing his vision. Yet Luka is not perturbed - "tell me, do you know this song?" He pauses to lift his phone screen to Adrien's eye level. When he reaches a small nod, he continues. "Do you know the time signature?"
By this point he can sense Adrien's confusion transforming into mild annoyance, but receives another nod anyway, lips pursed as though he wants to spit out a comment about how Luka's behaviour is really not helping right now.
Seemingly oblivious to this, Luka continues.
"If I sing the chorus, could you breathe in for two bars, hold for one, then breathe out across another two. Could you do that?"
Regardless of how much Adrien wants to yell at Luka for speaking music right now, he soon realises how ragged his breaths are and that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to do what he says after all.
The first few are a struggle- gulps becoming frantic as focusing brings attention to how disordered his breathing has become. He claws for Luka's hand, squeezing it as a soft voice fills his head and he finds taking a breath in and out a little bit easier.
Before long, Adrien's grip on Luka's arm loosens and he raises his gaze to face Luka with a newfound sense of calm. He stares, dumbfounded at the boy who continues to sing. A small smile graces his lips as he takes a moment to truly appreciate how pretty Luka's voice is, it being the first time he's really had a chance to hear it. As if Luka can tell what he's thinking, he finishes the song, adding an occasional decoration or adlib eliciting a giggle from Adrien.
Once the song draws to a close and the two sober up, Adrien can't help but enquire.
"So what was all that before with time signatures?"
"Oh that? I just thought you could use some help regulating your breathing."
Luka has to contain a chuckle at how Adrien's nose scrunches.
"But how did you know it would work?"
"I didn't, to be honest. All I knew was that you needed some help, and since we both know our way around music, I figured that would be the easiest way to communicate breathing techniques to you in the moment." Noticing Adrien's needing more explanation, he continues, "have you not been taught how to regulate your breathing when you begin to panic?"
Silence tells Luka all he needs to know.
He sighs, though immediately regrets it from the way Adrien flinches at the sound. Instead of dwelling, he pushes on.
"If you ever find yourself struggling to breathe like just then, or if you just need to calm yourself down, I'd really recommend you try something like that. Though most people count slowly, instead of relying on a song."
The lack of response from Adrien is almost enough to convince Luka something else is wrong, until a breathy laugh escapes the blond's lips.
"Maybe that'll come in handy sooner than I expected…"
Surely that could only mean one thing, Luka feels his heart begin to race as fear fills his mind.
"I have to go give a speech soon. It's…" Adrien falters, his voice dropping to barely a whisper. "I don't want to go. … Like a silly child."
'Oh. I see.' Focused thought consumes the fear in Luka's mind as he searches for a way to give Adrien support. Something to show him he is cared for, even if his duties are difficult and relentless.
Luka pulls a small notepad from his pocket, holding it close to his chest with a coy grin as he messes with it. His quiet focus leads Adrien to believe their conversation has finished, heaving himself up to leave for the suffocating room of business strangers he'd just escaped when a hand grabs his.
"Wait- Adrien", Luka pulls himself up to meet Adrien, bearing a soft smile, "take this."
He pushes an awkwardly folded piece of paper into Adrien's hands.
"Read it once you're done, promise me."
Adrien nods slightly, forcing a smile of confidence as he clasps the paper tight.
"I promise."
'And I promise to bring out your true smile.'
With Adrien out of sight, Luka stuffs his hands into his pockets, a content smile on his face, far too in his own world to notice the stare of Juleka and of the more inconspicuous snake kwami in his shirt.