Author's Note: I'm doing something different this time. If you're interested in reading my other fanfictions, that's great, but just be prepared for them to not be anything like this. Some of you might have read my other Star Wars fanfiction, Star Wars: The Unending. Let me assure you that I still intend to write Star Wars: The Unending 2 at some point and this story is not a replacement for that.
Also, I want to tell you early that this is going to be a shorter fanfiction. I'm thinking two or three chapters will be all.
Enjoy Your Star Wars Fantasy Reality.
How do we begin your Star Wars Fantasy Reality? You never really realize how tricky it is to begin a story until you create the empty document and stare at the white screen, realizing you don't know things like where is your protagonist at the beginning, what part of the story should be presented first or what first sentence best represents what your readers can expect going forward. And adding to my predicament is the particular story I am tasked with writing. After all, the title is YOUR Star Wars Fantasy Reality. The title is certainly not MY Star Wars Fantasy Reality. How am I to know the perfect beginning for you and Your Star Wars Fantasy Reality?
Well, I suppose since this is a Star Wars story, we may as well begin how proper Star Wars stories begin.
A long time ago in a galaxy far,
far away. . . .
YOUR
STAR
WARS
FANTASY REALITY
You are the greatest jedi in the galaxy!
You have been captured by the Empire, not
because you were over powered; certainly
not. You've gotten yourself captured on
purpose. A wise and powerful jedi master
like yourself would never be captured by
accident. You're being taken to the
Emperor who you are on a mission to
assassinate with your unrivaled jedi skills. . .
As you sit in your cell in the star destroyer, you start getting a little bored. And we can't have that. This is supposed to be a fun fanfiction; one that lets you live out your desires and fantasies. We must find some source of entertainment on our way to assassinate the Emperor. You stand from your bench and pace back and forth, thinking of something fun to do. And then it comes to you. You pull out your lightsaber and start doodling on the walls.
Now, being the intellectual reader that you are, you might think it strange that you are still in possession of your lightsaber after being taken prisoner. Well, the explanation is really quite interesting. You see, you, being the incredible jedi master that you are, have the power of force-camouflage-your-lightsaber-so-no-one-will-find-it-on-you. Sure, no one has ever used that force-ability in Star Wars canon, but isn't it a common occurrence for jedi to just be able to do whatever they want with the force? If Rey can just have force-heal even though no one else had that before, then you can have force-camouflage-your-lightsaber-so-no-one-will-find-it-on-you.
You keep doodling on the walls with surprisingly expert artistry until you've run out of room on the walls. Oh, if only you had a camera with you to immortalize the high art you've carved into the walls of this prison cell. You think to yourself that you might just let this star destroyer leave, unexploded so that the next prisoner can enjoy your fine art.
I suppose you'll need some other source of entertainment now. You decide that the next logical thing for a prisoner to do is to mock the stormtroopers as they pass by your cell. And here comes one now. Fortunately, you are kept in the sort of cell that uses a shield generator to keep you in, so they'll be able to see and hear you from the other side.
You approach the shield-door as the stormtrooper comes into view. "Hey, you there!" you say with superiority in your voice as you point at him. "You, sir, are a bucket head with poor eyesight!"
The stormtrooper stares at you with stunned silence until he bursts into tears and runs away for fear of additional insults.
I do hope you're happy with yourself. That stormtrooper you just verbally belittled is considered by most people as cannon fodder, weighed down by a meaningless existence and in blind service to an Emperor who, if the stormtrooper knew the truth of, would never serve. And you felt it appropriate to add to his woes by punching down at his individuality-preventing helmet and inability to shoot accurately. It really is a good thing that this is all just a fanfiction with no moral ramifications or real-world consequences.
What does it matter if you just destroyed a man's last shred of pride? Insult another stormtrooper if you'd like. None of this is real.
As you wait in your cell, no one else seems to want to pass by all of a sudden. You quickly put together an accurate theory that the stormtrooper you insulted warned the others of your legendary burning ability and the others are now too afraid to come near you.
Once again, we'll have to find a new source of entertainment. Fortunately, if I am not mistaken, you have a brain. In the mind is an infinite symphony of anything you can imagine. Think, reader! Thinking can be its own adventure if you do it right.
As you sit in your cell, you think about the legions of adoring fans you have amassed throughout the galaxy. Being the greatest of all jedi, you have saved many lives and are loved by all; all that are not in support of the Empire, that is. Well, to be completely accurate, you are such a powerful and commendable hero, that at least half of those working for the Empire can't help but admire you in some capacity.
What's this? The stormtrooper you insulted before is coming back with another by his side. "Is this the one?" asked the second stormtrooper.
"That's him. Let him have it," said the first stormtrooper with a voice that had noticeably just finished crying.
The second stormtrooper points at you and says, "My friend tells me you've been throwing insults! I'd like to see you take a few."
Ah. This second stormtrooper wishes to challenge you and your magnificent insulting ability. Let the fool try. You have nothing to worry about against such an inferior opponent.
The second stormtrooper says, "You jedi think you have everything figured out. But if you're all so wise, why are there only a hand full of you left? You probably think you're a hero, destined to free the galaxy from an Empire you only hate because you're too disorderly to fit into. But what you really are is a deluded fool, clinging to old ways because it's all you know and bringing war to an otherwise peaceful galaxy with the rest of your rebel friends. And for what? So that whoever is in charge of the rebellion can become the new emperor of the galaxy? Someone for another rebellion to rise against? Or do you think with the Empire gone, things would go back to how things were before? If that's true, you're fighting for a galaxy where confederacies massacre entire civilizations over taxes and politicians squabble in their fancy towers instead of solving problems that ravage the dying masses."
"Hah!" you laugh, unimpressed by his inferior insults. This second stormtrooper clearly has nothing that can compete with your caliber of verbal dueling. Go ahead and show him how a true master verbally destroys his enemies. You point at him and say, "How many stormtroopers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"How many?" the second stormtrooper dares to ask.
"We don't know. They still haven't found the lightbulb."
The second stormtrooper falls backwards like a cut tree and flattens on the floor. He had been instantly knocked out by your superior insulting ability.
Suddenly, you hear alarms going off. You find this strange since you haven't made any attempt to escape. Perhaps they were so aware of your legendary escapes that they assumed you would be out of your cell and half way to an escape pod, having set the ship to self-destruct by now. If they knew you were intending to go all the way to the Emperor so you could kill him, they would know you had no intention of escaping until then, but since they didn't, it's only logical that they would make such assumptions.
You decide to ignore the alarms until they realize you're still in your cell, but you soon discover that there's more going on. A storm of blaster bolts eliminates the stormtrooper standing in front of your cell. A group of rebels come into view and deactivate the shield-generated door. "On your feet, jedi, we're getting you out of here!" their captain exclaims excitedly.
"What?!" You say, flustered that these people are ruining your assassination attempt. "You . . . didn't have to go through all this trouble just for me," you say, trying not to sound as upset as you are.
"Nonsense!" the captain insists. "You are the greatest jedi in the galaxy and the rebellion's single greatest weapon against the Empire! We need you! That's why we took over this star destroyer for you!"
"You took over the whole star destroyer?" you grumble. Though your bitterness doesn't get through to anyone.
"Yes, sir!" he says proudly.
You face palm, wanting to shout at them for ruining everything, but you know they were unaware that you were only here to assassinate the Emperor. Isn't this something? I'm afraid I've accidentally ruined everything by giving you two fantasies that have cancelled each other out. I gave you the fantasy of being on your way to kill the Emperor and I gave you the fantasy of these people loving you enough to come "save you". Now, your would-be rescuers have ruined your assassination attempt. However will we salvage this?
You decide that you won't be a defeatist. Maybe not all is lost. Maybe these rebels could pretend to be imperials and take you the rest of the way to the Emperor. You ask the captain, "Do you think your crew could man this ship?"
He tells you, "Hypothetically, if we hadn't already set this ship to self-destruct, we could have manned this ship. Why do you ask?"
You stare at him, silently frustrated and defeated. Your negative emotions are lost on him as he can't understand the concept that someone as powerful and heroic as you would ever have such things; especially while being "rescued". It seems as though the Emperor will live another day. I guess you better get out of there since the ship will blow up soon.
As you stare out the window, your forehead pressed against the glass, the explosion that rips apart the star destroyer is your only solace in this thoroughly disappointing end to your assassination attempt. Behind you, rebels cheer themselves on, blissfully unaware of what they've done. You decide not to tell them the truth, letting them have this. What would be the point of making them feel bad about it?
You decide that this is merely a minor setback. You'll just have to figure out another way to reach the Emperor; a small task for the greatest jedi in the galaxy. But first you need a pick-me-up to get the creative juices flowing again. From this same window, you see a planet that the Empire has a strong hold on. Liberating that planet should get you back in a good mood. You ask the rebels to drop you off there.
On this planet, you find a prison camp holding the members of a formerly crushed uprising. You kill all the guards and recruit the prisoners into your new uprising. You find and rescue this planet's royal family. You organize attacks on imperial bases, tag public places with rebel symbols and use the royal family's influence to rally the people to your cause. You launch an attack on the palace that the royal family was supposed to live in, but had been taken over by an imperial captain. With the palace reclaimed, the rest of the imperial presence either leaves or is killed off. The people throw a grand festival in your honor, thanking you for bringing freedom to their planet. Afterward, you announce that you have to leave, giving a heartfelt speech about the planet's people and culture. As you fly off, exiting the planet's atmosphere, you say to yourself, "Not a bad way to spend an after-noon."
Now that you've gotten yourself in a better mood, you decide it's time to figure out how to get to the Emperor. But that will apparently have to wait since you have an incoming transmission. It's your wife. You had better answer it.
A hologram appears of your sexy wife who does a finger-wave while saying, "Hi, honey."
"Hi," you say back, delighted to see her. By the way, I hope you don't mind having a wife in this story. I wasn't sure how to handle the love interest in Your Star Wars Fantasy Reality where you are the protagonist. I considered giving you both a girlfriend and a boyfriend so we would be covered weather you're interested in women or men. But I decided against that. My rationale behind giving you a wife is as follows: they say that a lot of straight women like watching lesbian porn and that a lot of straight women like looking at beautiful women. So if you're a straight man, you'll like having a wife. If you're a lesbian, you'll like having a wife. If you're bisexual, you'll like having a wife. And if you're a straight woman, you're more likely to like having a wife than a straight man would be to like having a husband. So I decided that, in this story, your character has a wife. If you're a gay man, then I apologize if you're disappointed with this direction. I really didn't make this decision to make the story less fun for you and no artist should delight in disappointing their fans, but I thought that this was what would make the most people happy. I'll try to fit some male fanservice into this story to make it up to any gay men reading this.
"How did the assassination go?" your wife asks you.
"Not great."
"Oh? What happened? Tell me all about it," she says tenderly.
You tell her, "I was on my way to the Emperor on a star destroyer when all of a sudden, these rebels came in to 'rescue me' and blew up the ship before I could get to him."
"I'm sorry, honey," she soothes.
"But the day wasn't a total loss. I just liberated a planet; that was fun."
"That's great."
"Yeah. So how's your day been?" you ask.
"Well . . . funny story. I'm calling you because the base is under attack. We could really use your help if you're not too busy," she says casually.
You laugh through your nose knowingly. She could handle the attack herself if she wanted to. She just wants your company. The Emperor can wait. Fighting off an attack with your wife sounds a lot more fun. "I'll be right there," you tell her.
"Thanks, honey. I'll try not to kill all the stormtroopers before you get here."
She ends the transmission and you steer your ship towards the base. Ordinarily, traveling the distance between here and the ba?e would take !ays even at lightsp33d, but ? you ar the greatest jedi # galaxy, you have d. . . . the ability . . .
?
Every day, I fantasize of better lives for myself, not knowing if these daydreams are a needed hope to keep myself from self-destruction until victory arrives or delusions that will turn to pain when what I dream of reveals itself to be an impossibility which I was foolish to desire . . . again.
I don't know what's real anymore.
?
Reader? Are you alright? I had lost you for a moment. It was as if you were spirited away by some other worldly entity. Well, you're back now; that's all that truly matters.
Now, as I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted, ordinarily, traveling the distance between here and the base would take days even at lightspeed, but since you are the greatest jedi in the galaxy, you have developed the ability you've aptly named force-lightspeed-enhance which allows any ship you pilot to travel far faster than light, you'll be there in a matter of seconds.
As you travel at force-enhance-speed, you ask me, "Is this going to be as quick as that planet liberation was?"
What do you mean!? Did you not enjoy the power fantasy of liberating an entire planet in the span of a single paragraph!?
"It was alright, I guess," you say with a shrug. "But can I have more of a challenge this time?"
A challenge, you say? A challenge for the greatest jedi in the galaxy? Hm. Well, I'm sure I can throw something together that will satisfy such a request.
Author's Note: If you've read my other fanfictions, you'd know that all my stories have action scenes in them. When we get to the base in the next chapter, there will be a legitimate battle.
Again, this is a different kind of story than I usually write. Let me know what you think of this style and how well I'm doing it.
Also, I have a YouTube channel with which I review fictional romances. To find me, go to YouTube and type in –
Couple Reviews by MVPKnight