This is inspired by some drawings that thestrangecarrotcake on tumblr was showing me. We talk about Louyd and their art a lot and they drew Louie crying because he was certain that he and Boyd weren't friends and I was like "I have to write this," so thank you to them for giving me permission to use their ideas.

This fic is basically Louie being a bundle of multiple anxieties and addressing exactly one of them lol.

Huey had said he was going to be downstairs in five minutes. Louie could barely take the awkwardness for one.

"So, uh, Boyd, how are things?"

"Couldn't be better!" The other kid was so chipper. It had to be a front, or sarcasm, or something.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! I mean I get to live with Gyro part-time and the Drakes part-time and I get to be a member of the Junior Woodchucks and make all sorts of great friends."

"That's really great, Boyd," Louie said, overthinking everything.

All sorts of great friends? He meant Huey, of course. No way could Doofus Drake be considered anything close to a friend. And Gyro… Well, Gyro was his own personal brand of crazy. Boyd's family situation had gone from bad to weird and Louie was partially to blame.

An apology stuck in his throat. Louie hated apologizing, apologizing made him feel weak. Apologizing made him feel like he was giving up all of his power and if he didn't have any power, if he didn't see all the angles, he would fail. And when he failed people got hurt. So he couldn't apologize, even when people got hurt, because then he'd risk more people hurt-

It was a lousy system that generally led to spiraling and overthinking and guilt. Louie definitely felt guilty now.

It was in moments like these that Louie had to remind himself that sometimes there were no stakes. He had to mentally ground himself. He was not on some dangerous adventure where he had to stay sharp or risk peril, he was sitting in the living room with his brother's best friend.

"Have you ever seen the show Ottoman Empire?" Louie asked, instead of apologizing for something Boyd didn't even seem upset about. Still, the guilt was all over him, like a thousand tiny spiders crawling over his body.

"Nope!"

The spiders were getting worse.

"Oh. Uh. It's a good show. A fun show."

"I don't watch a lot of television."

"Right, of course not."

Louie felt like he was going to suffocate. Involuntarily, he began to cough. Tears sprung to his eyes as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Louie? Are you okay?" Immediately Boyd was over at his side, making Louie feel even worse.

"I'm fine," Louie gasped out.

Boyd looked concerned.

"Louie, I think you're having a panic attack. Do you know what to do when you're having a panic attack?"

Louie let out a sharp laugh that turned into a sob. Wasn't Huey supposed to be down here five minutes ago? Huey would know what to do. Louie's whole body heaved with alternating sobs and coughs and guilt spiders. He slid off the couch and put his head between his legs.

"I, uh… I'm so sorry Louie I don't know what to do, I haven't studied this, please, tell me how to help. Should I get someone?"

"Don't worry about me," Louie pleaded when he caught his breath for a moment, unable to look at Boyd.

That did not dissuade Boyd from worrying. He knelt down on the ground, his hand hovering near Louie as if he wasn't sure how to best comfort the panicking guy.

"Louie I'm sorry I haven't seen Ottoman Empire. If you want you can tell me about it as soon as you can breathe again-"

Another pained laugh.

"It's not your fault Boyd, it's not your fault you hate me…" A gasping breath of air, he was riding this out, it was almost over.

But it wasn't over for Boyd, who sat back with a grief-stricken look on his face. Louie had risked a glance at Boyd and that look stirred the spiders all over again.

"You think I hate you? Why do you think I hate you?"

Louie focused on breathing for a bit longer, still feeling utterly wiped out. Every time he had a panic attack it took him out for hours if not the whole day. He hated that, too. It's hard to be sharp when you're utterly depleted.

"I don't understand, Louie, I thought we were friends. What did I do to make you think I hated you?"

"You didn't do anything," Louie said, feeling stupid now, "I just thought that… Well, you know."

Boyd looked like he was about to cry, "I don't know. I feel like I should but I don't. Please just tell me."

"I'm sorry," was the first thing Louie said, the words he hated but the only words that could save him now. "I'm sorry I assumed things about you and made you feel bad and I'm sorry I left you with Doofus Drake. I didn't actually know you were sentient and then when I found out it was too late and I've felt like I ruined your life for the longest time now."

"You didn't," Boyd said after a minute of thoughtful silence.

"I know my family is weird and that Doofus is a lot but I love them, I love all of them. I'm the happiest I've ever been and that isn't despite what you did, it's because of it. You showed me a life I never would have known was possible. You gave me a family. I should have told you that sooner."

"I should have apologized sooner," Louie said sheepishly.

"Yeah, maybe. But it's okay. We're still friends."

"Promise?" Louie asked, even though it felt stupid to say. Maybe a part of friendship was feeling stupid. It was way better than the spiders, at least.

"Promise."

They sat there in silence then, shoulder to shoulder, both feeling a little depleted and a little relieved.

"Hey, sorry I took so long, I was helping Dewey with a thing- whoa, are you guys okay?" Huey rushed over.

Louie let out a shaky laugh.

"Yeah, we will be. It was nice talking with you, Boyd, we'll have to hang out again soon."

Boyd lit up then, and that smile made all the turmoil of the day worth it.

"Yeah, we will. You have to show me Ottoman Empire. See you around, Louie."

"See you around."

It really was nice to have a friend.