Ch.4: Forgotten

Elladan hated rain. It was cold and uncomfortable and more importantly it reminded him of all he had lost. It had been raining the day Celebrian left for Valinor. It had also rained the day Elrohir sacrificed their Choices.

Here he was, standing in the rain two centuries later, unable to bring himself to forgive his twin or enter Rivendell.

"M'lord? Is everything alright?" a soft voice startled Elladan.

He looked back at his traveling companions. Gilraen clutched her tiny son to her bosom. Despite the heavy cloak that she wore, both her and Aragorn were soaked through and shivering.

"It's been so long since..." Elladan shook his head, "Yes, everything is alright. You will be cared for here. This is where I leave you."

He turned to leave the valley, but he was stopped by a cold hand on his arm.

"This is your home, is it not?" Gilraen asked.

"Yes," Elladan answered in confusion.

"Then why do you refuse to return?" Gilraen looked troubled.

The question made Elladan hesitate. He had often longed to return home, but he always lost his nerve when he though of his twin.

"I think you father would love to see you."

Little Aragorn sneezed violently several times. Elladan knew it would only do the young human ill if he remained in the foul weather. With a sigh, Elladan turned back towards the valley and what remained of his family.

Imladris was exactly the same as Elladan remembered. After spending two hundred years amongst men, the unchangingness of the Eldar was refreshing. He left his charges in the care of one of the healers and reluctantly went to seek out his father.

When he asked for directions, a rather startled servant directed him towards Elrond's study.

Elladan knocked on the heavy, oaken door before he could think better of it. Upon being granted permission to enter, Elladan slowly opened the door. Elrond was going over a ledger, making neat marks in the margins. He glanced up at his visitor and dropped his pen in surprise. Before Elladan even said a word, Elrond had rushed over and enveloped him in a crushing hug. The embrace went on much longer than was custom. Elladan grew even more uncomfortable as he realized his father was crying.

"Ada?"

"You came home! I never thought I would see you again," Elrond's voice was muffled against Elladan's tunic. He finally drew away from his son and Elladan got to have a good look at him. Elrond looked haggard. There were dark shadows under his eyes and he held himself like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. The change was startling.

"I... um... I brought some guests," Elladan stammered, not sure what to say.

"Guests?" Elrond asked in a rather distracted manner as he stroked Elladan's cheek.

"Arathorn's wife and child."

"That's nice," Elrond murmured, pulling his son back into a tight embrace, "You came back."

"Yes, Ada, I did, " Elladan sighed. Elrond broke his second embrace and ushered Elladan to the seat in front of his desk.

"Where have you been?" Elrond asked wearily. His initial energy from seeing Elladan again had now dissipated. Elladan then gave a full account of his travels over the long years of his absence and the reason for his return.

"Are you upset?" Elladan asked hesitantly as he concluded his story. He stared at his hands, unwilling to meet his father's eyes.

"No," Elrond reassured him, "I am a little disappointed. How could you leave you brother?"

"I'm sorry. I never mean to leave for this long. I just... he..." Elladan fumbled for words, "This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to choose together, but he..."

Elladan felt silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He had refused to think of Elrohir for years because it brought about this reaction every time.

"I'm going to loose him, Ada! It hurts so much when I think about it. What am I supposed to do without him?"

"Oh Elladan," Elrond's voice was soft, "You have to keep living. Remember him, but keep going."

"Does the pain ever go away?" Elladan turned his pleading gaze to his father.

"No," Elrond's brow was drawn in pain, "No, it never does. It gets easier with time, though."

Elrond drew a deep breath before continuing.

"You owe your brother an explanation, Elladan. And, if you would take my advice, spend what little time remains with him," Elrond sadly advised his oldest.

"I will Ada," Elladan's shoulders slumped slightly, "Where is he?"

"In the gardens, I suspect. If he is not there try the library."

Squaring his shoulders, Elladan set of in look for his twin. Elrohir, understandably, was not in the gardens. The rain was still coming down in sheets outside and the sun had sunk bellow the horizon. Elladan turned his feet towards the library.

As he rounded the final corner, Elladan caught sight of a figure coming towards him. At first, the figure was unrecognizable, but as it drew near, Elladan swiftly identified his brother. He felt his heart drop as he looked over his twin. Elrohir relied heavily on a cane as he slowly limped down the corridor. From where he stood, Elladan could see the fine wrinkles that were permanently engraved around his eyes and the deeper wrinkles that creased his cheeks and brow. His hair, once the same shade of black as Elladan's, was now silvery grey from age. This fragile being was not the twin he had left two hundred years ago.

Elladan choked back a sob.

At the little noise, Elrohir looked up. His eyes grew wide as he noticed who what standing at the other end of the hall.