I stared numbly at the boy lying in front of me. Both Johnny and Dally in the same night. I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand to see the lifeless forms of my best friends.
I backed up slowly, head spinning. I gasped for breath but I couldn't get any oxygen in my lungs. There had only been one other time where I hadn't been able to breath, and that was when Bob had tried to drown me. That was a week ago. Now Johnny and Dal were dead. But they weren't dead. Those bodies weren't theirs. Right? My brain went fuzzy as it got harder and harder to breathe.
"Ponyboy?" A voice called. It sounded far away. Or maybe it was close. I couldn't tell. "Ponyboy!?" It screamed. Or whispered. Maybe both. But that wasn't possible. Was it?
"Kid?" I felt strong arms wrap around my shoulders. Or was I wrapped around someone else's shoulders? I still couldn't breathe.
"Ponyboy, look at me." Someone said, but I couldn't see. Or maybe I could. "Ponyboy stay awake. I need you to stay awake honey!" Stay awake? But I wasn't sleeping. What was this person talking about?
Everything went black. Unless it had already been black. But now I could breathe. Maybe. I couldn't not breathe. That was good right? There wasn't anymore screaming, and I was glad. It was giving me a headache. If I hadn't had one before. I couldn't remember.
My brain was still fuzzy, so I couldn't think straight. I think my eyes were closed. I couldn't see or hear anything. I couldn't feel anything. It was kind of like I was nothing, and everything was nothing. Did that make sense?
I remember feeling a pain somewhere. Where had it been? But that didn't matter, because it was gone now. I tried to move, but I couldn't feel my body, so I stayed. I felt kind of weird. I was pretty sure I wasn't breathing.
I couldn't feel my eyelids, even though I couldn't see. Everything wasn't black, nor was it white. Or any color. It was just nothing. I was nothing. I was dead.