If Only She Had
I don't own Downton Abbey.
Maud Bagshaw stopped in a tearoom after spending the afternoon shopping in York. With the Great War finally over, she felt it was time to order some new dresses. Several other Yorkshire ladies agreed, as Maud spotted Lady Glossop and Lady Yates sipping tea with their servants' carrying packages in the back.
"Lady Bagshaw!" Lady Glossop said with a smile. "Please take tea with us." She was about the same age as Maud, middle -aged with hair growing greyer each year.
"Of course," Maud said, proud to be sitting with a baroness. "It is rather nice to see everyone up and about again."
"I agree," Lady Yates, another baronetess said with a nod. "It's time to move past the war and that horrid flu. I even managed to purchase some passable dresses today." She was a bit younger, so her hair still appeared mostly brown.
"That's nice, although I'm not certain everyone will be able to move past the flu," Lady Glossop said with a sigh. She sipped her tea. "I heard Lady Merton couldn't recover from it, so she passed on."
The other two ladies were suddenly silent, not certain how to respond to that. Lady Bagshaw took a bite of one of the teacakes at the center of the table.
"I've heard something that's even worse, if you can believe it," Lady Yates said finally, after taking several careful sips of tea. "Lady Sybil, the Earl of Grantham's youngest daughter, has eloped! She ran off with her family's chauffeur! And to make things even more scandalous, he a Fenian, and they are going to live in Ireland." She shook her head, as if she could barely believe such news.
Maud tried not to stare at Lady Yates. It couldn't be true. It wasn't possible.
Lady Glossop shook her head. "I suppose that's the sort of condition that happens when a lady spends too much time with a good-looking servant. She may end up…well, we all know."
The teacake sunk in Maud's stomach. She knew, even better than these other two ladies did how easy it was to have an unexpected pregnancy. But she still shook her head. "Lady Yates, one mustn't spread rumors such as that, especially about a lady that is in a higher station than any of us. As I know Lady Sybil had a wonderful debut before the war, I am certain she has plenty of better options than what you are implying." Because anything else wasn't an option. It couldn't be.
Lady Glossop and Lady Yates blinked and then nodded. "Of course, Lady Bagshaw."
OOOOOOOOOO
A few months later, Maud was proud to host Lady Harrington, another baroness, for tea at Brompton. As they sat down with tea in the drawing room, her guest tried to resist a smirk but was unsuccessful. Her dark hair, sprinkled with grey, was almost unnoticeable, compared to the smirk on her face. "So, I visited Lady Grantham last week and I've heard firsthand everything about Lady Sybil and that Irish chauffeur." She paused for effect.
Maud sighed. She understood that rumors and scandals were a fact of their society, but she wished this one was not so popular. It hit a bit too close to home.
"So, not only did Lady Grantham confirm that Lady Sybil has married him, but apparently even with the earl's blessing! Lady Mary and Lady Edith were even allowed to attend the wedding. Can you imagine anything so foolish?"
Maud couldn't answer for several moments. It wasn't' just a rumor. Lady Sybil truly had rejected their society in favor of romance and starting her own family. "I do not know," she said, unable to say anything else.
But Maud was no longer in her drawing room at Brompton. Her mind had traveled back to when she'd discovered she was pregnant with Jack Smith's baby. At the time, running to America hide the pregnancy and then giving Lucy to Jack and his family seemed to be the only option. Maud was still a Lady even after her husband's death and the mistress of Brompton. Jack, on the other hand, was a simple soldier.
But what if she'd been as brave as Lady Sybil? What if Maud had said "Jack, I care for you more than I ever did my husband when he was alive. Could we be together openly?"
Jack, the good man that he was, would have immediately proposed, perhaps stumbling that he couldn't afford a ring for a lady like her. Then Maud could have shook her head and told him that he was enough, and she wished to marry him.
Her Jack would certainly have taken her in his strong arms and kissed her in a way that only he could. Then they would have married. Either in the local courthouse, or if they could find a way of hiding for three weeks, perhaps even Greta Green.
Maud's father would have thrown a fit. He would have told her that such a match was unacceptable, and probably disowned her. But would Jack's love have been enough? Lady Sybil certainly thought so.
If Maud had done this, she could have shared a bed with Jack every night. She pictured the lazy, infectious grin that would appear on his face on the rare times when they woke together. What would it be worth if she could see it every day? She could also introduce herself as Jack's wife, and they could travel openly together, rather than hiding their relationship from anyone important.
Just as importantly, Lucy would be her legitimate daughter. She would call Maud "Mama," or "Mum" instead of "milady" or at most "Lady Bagshaw."
Maud had thought she was doing what was best, selecting Lucy to be her maid after Jack died in the Battle of Somme and then his mother died of Spanish flu. Lucy needed a place to live, and Maud enjoyed seeing the girl regularly.
But there was a wall between them, no matter how much Maud tried to pretend otherwise. A wall that defined all relationships between lady and servant. A wall that should never exist between mother and daughter.
Even now, Lucy stood in the background, ready to answer any of Maud's needs. Should the drawing room be dusted? Clothing washed? Shoes polished?
If only she had been more like Lady Sybil. Brave enough to choose love over obligation. She, Jack, and Lucy could have been a family.
"Lady Bagshaw?" Lady Harrington's voice brough Maud back to the drawing room at Brompton.
Maud sighed, realizing what a terrible host she was being, no matter what the circumstance. "I do apologize, Lady Harrington. How do you like the tea?" She took a sip of her own tea, making it clear the subject of Lady Sybil was closed. "I had a new flavor ordered."
Lady Harrington took a sip and nodded. "Delicious."
Despite still hosting tea, Maud's still wished she hadn't been so cowardly when she'd been pregnant with Lucy. Lady Sybil's story was so inspiring. Perhaps she could call the lawyer and see if her will could be changed.