Hi, so here is another chapter, and I hope that you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Again this story has nothing to do with the real life Bruce Ismay, it is fictional and therefore should be treated as such.
Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this chapter and Isabella.
And any apologies for any historical inaccuracies.
Please Read and Review.
Some Kind Of Tomorrow.
Chapter 9-Causing A Commotion.
Isabella finally makes her decision about her future as all the cards have been laid out on the table.
She watched the sunlight go down, seeing but not seeing what would be the last sunset the Titanic saw (not that she knew it then of course) from the small window in her room and finally acknowledged what she wanted. When she accepted the conclusion she had wanted but had always denied.
Even saying the words.
God she had denied herself so much.
"Tommy" she said to the empty room at large.
"Tommy"
But still she did not get off that floor. It was as if all the emotions had come crashing down upon her and she could not…she just could not comprehend it.
But she could comprehend love. She wanted him. She loved him. And if there was still something in his heart that beat for her then she was damn well going to go chasing after it. Perhaps she was too much like her mother in this moment—perhaps she was destined for the same unhappy ending that she had been granted but she thought to herself that she was at least going to try.
For what was the point if she could not even do that?
She loved him.
She loved him.
It was a quiet revelation in itself.
At some point Trudy knocked on the door and Isabella had to force herself to her feet and get bathed and dressed for dinner. Trudy made no comment on the fact that her eye was bruised and her lip split but she patted her on the arm and her eyes were kind. Isabella sat in the bath overlooking the nice tiling on the wall and found that she enjoyed once more the simple luxury. Hot water on a ship that was clean and fresh was a novelty that the Titanic had boasted as a selling point and she could understand why. Had her thoughts not been in complete and utter turmoil she would have liked the simplicity of a peaceful day.
However today that was not the case.
She dressed in her gold dress again and this time she told Trudy to tie up her hair so that it was off her face. She added her earrings but for all the world as she stepped into the foyer hoping against hope that Rose would be there she could not smile. She had not bothered to use some powder to the bruise, she would not hide it and if her Uncle saw how she reacted to his heavy hand then he did not comment on it—nor did anyone else.
She took the book with her. Out of everything that was the one thing that she had took with her. The book tucked into her small clutch purse. She was not sure what she was going to do next but she knew that she needed that book if she was going to make a decision.
Either way.
Dinner that night was a loud and rather raucous affair. At least for the upper class. When she considered what it had been like in the steerage compartments with the dancing and the music and the simple joy of living this was a completely different world. However it was the last real night of the voyage as most people would be packing tomorrow or spending tomorrow packing getting ready to dock at the New York harbour.
And then it was over. All over.
She ate the oyster that was served and then immediately wished that she had not. It was slippery and she was sure was going to go down the wrong way. The beef course was served next and a cold soup and onwards and onwards gold plates of food served by white jacketed waiters and when that was not being served it was champagne, wine and the constant never end small talk of the utterly board.
She was sat there in silence. Only once did Mr Andrews ask her kindly if she was alright and then before she could get an answer out her Uncle diverted him with talk of what his next project was going to be. Mr Andrews said rather primly that it was going back home to be with his wife and young daughter and that set Molly Brown off into a discussion about young children and their educational needs and how Boston offered more than most in terms of a decent education (which sent Ruth DeWitt Bukater –not at all bothered by her daughter's absence—of like a starting pistol) and the conversation once again turned leaving Isabella feeling like she would rather rip her own hair out than listen to it anymore.
Desert was served and then Ruth leaned over and said in a conversational whisper.
"Did you see that boy's shoes?"
The boy in question was one of the rare children that were seen in first class. Isabella looked and then looked away and then for some reason found herself looking back. The boy was dressed in the prim and proper get up that came with first class but he had clearly not bothered to change his shoes which were muddy.
"It is nothing but a bit of mud" she said though nobody seemed to hear her. But the more she looked at this poor boy the more she thought that he was sitting up right, prim and proper and this bit of mud on his shoes was the only thing that he had to show that he was a normal child.
And suddenly she felt sick.
Everyone was standing to go and take in the music concert and Isabella knew what she had to do now.
"Uncle please forgive me but I am feeling rather unwell. I might go and lie down and see you in the morning?"
"Do you require the ship's doctor Miss Ismay?" Mr Andrews asked kindly.
"No Mr Andrews I think not. Just this food and the sea air. I shall retire to bed and to sleep"
Her Uncle nodded already reaching for his cigar case. He did not look at her. She was not sure that he had seen her. And she found that it did not matter.
From this moment on nothing mattered.
"I wish you a good rest then" Mr Andrews said and Isabella was overcome with the sudden urge to hug him because there was something in his smile that made her wonder if for a second, the briefest of seconds he knew what she was thinking, what she was going to do and…who knew…what Rose might have had the courage to do.
"Goodbye Uncle"
"What—er—goodnight Isabella"
But he was already holding out his arm for Ruth and she turned and walked out of the dining room and she did not look back once.
She did not go back to her room but instead down the corridor and down a staircase to where Jack Dawson had taken them to the Third Class mess. It was not difficult to find it though she got more stares this time though she could not see him. He was not where she expected him to be but then again if he was predictable things might be very different.
She was just about to reach panic stations—after all there was a huge amount of steerage passengers and rooms on this ship and not what you would call the best signage when someone ran in front of her.
"Hello again Miss"
It was the little girl from before. Cora…something…
"Hello" she said managing a small smile. "Are your parents about?"
"Daddy's gone for a smoke and Mama's gone for a nap. She says the sea air doesn't agree with her when she can't see the water. I don't mind but nobody lets me do anything" and with good measure she stamped her foot.
Isabella would have laughed but it mirrored her own thoughts so much that she was not sure if she could without crying.
"Yes" she said feeling like she was about to scratch out her own eyes if she did not see Tommy right now.
"That's how I feel right now"
"You?" Cora asked her eyes wide. "But your rich? And your tall. Surely you can do anything?"
It was so simple to her that Isabella could not stop herself from hugging her. She was honestly too precious and though she made a small noise of surprise she let Isabella hug her.
"You are too precious for this world you know?"
"I know" Cora said with all the confidence of six year old who knew that she was loved and adored by her parents. Isabella had never had that. She had never known until she had stepped foot on this ship that such love was easy to find.
And once you accepted it you never wanted to go back.
"What happened to your eye?"
"Never mind" she said not wanting to dwell on unpleasant facts and memories.
"Can you tell me where Tommy is?"
"Tommy Ryan?"
"Yes"
"Oh he's on the other side of the deck at the front of the ship. Jack was there with the red-headed girl but they went inside. It's dark now"
She had missed the sunset then. It did not matter. She would see in the sunrise as a new woman. And it appeared that Rose would too.
"Thank you Cora"
"Your welcome Miss"
"No" she said shaking her head as the laughter threatened to bubble out of her.
"My name is Isabella"
Cora nodded and smiled but still looked at her funnily. Isabella could not blame her. This feeling was hard to describe—she had no idea what must be written on her face.
The outside deck was wonderful and cool and it was not hard to see him standing there looking down at the ocean. The sun had only just gone down. If Rose and Jack had been there they both must have missed them by moments.
"Tommy" she called.
He turned around taking her in her gold dress.
"Isabella" he said finally.
"I changed my mind"
He raised one eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"I want…I want you. I've come to be with you if you still want me"
He stared at her let out a small laugh and then looked away for a second. It was only a second as his gaze snapped back onto her face within the same space of time.
"What's gone wrong?"
"Nothing. I just realised. I want to be free. I have to be free. Of him. Of them. Of all of it. And that the love I feel for you and the need for that encompass any fear. I do not need him—I do need you"
He made a motion as if he was to grab her by the hand but he snatched his hand back and she noticed that his eyes were very warm.
"I have nothing" he said. "I am a nobody as your Uncle thinks. And I do not want you diminished for loving me"
She shrugged.
"I have nothing too. Not really. It's all my Uncle's, he can take it away at any moment. But not this. He can never take away this. I am a nobody without you"
He reached out and she half stepped, half fell into his arms. He grabbed her by the waist one hand on her upper back and the other sweeping into the mess that was her once neat and orderly hair and he kissed her, on her eyelids on her cheeks, on her neck and then finally into her gasping mouth. He plunged his tongue into her mouth with such fierceness it was like he was starving to do it. It was like he was as starving for her as she had been for him.
They stayed on the deck for a while and then like before the door above them opened and shut and Isabella broke the kiss apart.
"Come on" she said pulling at his hand.
"Where?" he asked weakly grinning. He was laughing almost though his hand coming up to touch her chin was trembling a little—and though she did not want to give herself the credit she did not think that it was the wind.
She thought about it and her grin got even bigger. Their hands were linked, their fingers linked together and she never wanted to let go of his hands. Her love for him was encompassing all of her doubts and she could see it reflected back in his eyes.
She loved him.
She loved him.
She loved him.
And he loved her.
"Well I've seen your quarter's" she said. "Now I think it's time you see mine"
And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring you the next one sooner rather than later.
Next Chapter-Isabella and Tommy share a rapidly developing moment in her cabin before they make an escape from Bruce Ismay. Meanwhile something truly terrible happens.