During his daily commute to work by foot in the morning, Jack and probably everyone in the massive line of people behind it noticed a large number of road works, saying probably everyone is to account for the idiotic people on the road who are too busy swiping through filters and trying to take pictures instead of, I dunno looking at the road in front of them.

He stood silently with four of his coworkers in the tight elevator awkwardly, he didn't know whether to talk or not and what conversation to have so he didn't talk at all and that seemed to be the general consensus until they all filed out on the sixth floor, it was an average job but it paid well for the minimal effort he had to put in so he stuck with it, he worked 8 to 4, five days a week so 40 weekly hours and got paid 80,000 annually.

Eight hours later he found himself in the same situation as the morning, the major problem though was this elevator to about ten seconds per floor so it was a minute ride down and he didn't use the stairs because they had an extremely putrid stench of rotten eggs.

He finally saw the doors open and practically ran out and right where he'd seen it this morning was the roadworks so he went around into a tight gap between road works, he took a step onto the storm drain which laid in front of him on the road the then the other foot and he was about to walk off when it caved it and he fell into darkness and felt nothing, the total abyss was surrounding him and he didn't know whether he was still alive or dead just nothing until suddenly light appeared in the form of an image of strangely the lookout from Dragon Ball, then his entire vision lit up with a bright light.


When my vision cleared I half expected to see a bunch of lava and shit since I was probably going to hell but instead what I saw was white tiles and an open sky, confused I turned around and saw an ancient-looking building and to the right where I saw a man with pure black skin and a straight face watering trees and plant life.

Finally, I looked down and saw deep green wrinkled skin and weird yellow pads on my muscles and also realised I had a staff thingy in my hand, suddenly I realised it. I'm fucking Kami of all people "Hey Popo"

"What is it, master?" It felt extremely weird to be called master but I ignored it for now since it made me feel superior I needed a way to get all the memories of abilities and such that Kami used to know

"I seem to have forgotten all my abilities"

"Oh no master, Do you still remember yourself though?" With Popo's voice, it almost felt like being mocked but I nodded and he responded "If it's just your abilities then remember you created an orb with all your memories in them for when you stepped down from being Kami" I honestly had never thought of that but considering he was ready to resign to Goku then there had to be a way to teach him quickly.

I was then walked along into the building and taken to the far end of the corridor, the door was opened for me and I saw a glowing green ball about 50 cm in diameter "Please put your hand onto it and you'll remember it all" I did so and was instantly overwhelmed with information on all the abilities and their true complexities such as:

Telepathy requirements and usage:

-If one is to use this technique they must have complete mastery over one's self and an extremely deep understanding of sound and ki

-One must understand the exact speed of sound, pitch, volume the lot

-To use one must move their ki to another like instant transmission but you must vibrate their skull at the exact frequency to make sounds and must figure out the frequency to form coherent words

Watching it through a screen it just looked like people looking in the direction and frowning, luckily Kami already had all this knowledge so I could do it from the get-go, it kind of changed the way I perceived conversations though, more and more information flowed including things like the layout of the lookout and god social structure

'Forget bottom of the barrel, I'm below the barrel, First goes planetary guardians at the bottom, next layer is the death check-in station people such as King Yemma, then it's the four Kai's of the north, south, east and west quadrants of the universe above them are the supreme Kai's servants then the supreme Kai finally the god of destruction That means in a universe there are six tiers and I'm the bottom and Beerus is the top and god did the memories also describe the colossal might of those people

Wow, no wonder the dragon fears Beerus so much he is a beacon of total strength, I realised what I need to do. The first is to raise my planet's mortal level and raise the quality of food beyond belief so it could please Beerus and Whis enough to be safe.

I pondered once ays to do this and why not create a religion centred around the actual gods of the universe, so I turned around and left the room with Popo following suit "Popo, I'd like you to prepare your magic carpet"

"If I may lord Kami, where are you going?"

"We are in grave danger, if we do not weed out all evil mortals on the planet we will be wiped out planet and all"

"Oh, no master we must proceed immediately" Once again I felt mocked but I walked away and sat down only to hear thirty seconds later that it was prepared for him to leave so I got up and sat on the carpet which was surprisingly comfortable "Where shall we go?"

"West City" In an instant we floated above the expansive city and but then I realised something "What year is it again Po-Po?"

"Year 733 Sir" I realised this would be Bulma was a newborn and sixteen years were between now and the start of the story so I had a plethora of time. I scanned the area and found the most densely packed spot, I realised my ki out to make myself glow bright yellow and lowered myself down, I imagine I temporarily blinded some people.

"I am the god of earth, you have angered the gods and now shall feel their wrath. All those who've committed crimes and have evil in their hearts shall be stricken down"

A random guy called out "Blasphemy, Lord Ranidus is the only one true god" I'd planned for this, using my ki I'd made a lightning bolt-like thing and left it in the air and now it shot down and disintegrated the man leaving scorch marks on the ground

"Let this be a warning, all other gods are false, we are the true gods but do not worry those who are good shall be rewarded and to show our kindness in six months we will hold two competitions and the two champions, as well as all other talents, will be personally trained by the gods, one competition is cooking as certainly one among us have a bit of a thing for food" Some in the crowd chuckled seeing that almighty beings like this one before them loved the food "And the second is martial arts" I was gonna continue when an alarm rang and a man sprinted out of the shop chased by a woman, I pointed my finger and fired at the man sending him to hell

"As I was saying spread the word to those you think will succeed or do well and goodbye" I rode back up and got back onto the magic carpet "Mount Paozu Please Po Po" And within the blink of an eye I was there and saw a small hut in a clearing so I dropped down and went to knock on the door only to realise I was still glowing so I got rid of it and knocked only for the door to open and the man instantly to go into a defensive position

"What! How'd you escape Piccolo?"

"Do not worry Gohan, I'm not Piccolo but the literal opposite Kami"

Gohan looked with wide eyes, his master had told him many stories of Piccolo and some of the legendary figure known as Kami, he went into a bow "I'm very sorry lord, how could you forgive me"

"Not to worry I came here to ask something of you"

"Which is?"

"In six months I'm going to be holding two tournaments to find people to teach in two aspects and like the misconception you just had I'm worried others will assume me to be Piccolo so I need a body to possess and I've heard of your many great deeds"

"I will return to my body after the possession, right?"

"Indeed"

"I'd be honoured sir" I nodded since the recruitment was successful

"Because of this, you'll be the first person to be trained" Gohan looked stunned, eyes wide enough his eyelashes could touch the sky and jaw low enough to touch the ground, I grabbed his arm and flew up to the carpet "Home please" Without another word they were back on the lookout.

It was amazing to think how high they were in the sky but it seemed Gohan was finding it hard what with the difference in air pressure and everything, there was nothing that could be done now except continue with his plan he raised his staff and seven glowing orange balls flew out in front of him "Shenron Come out and grant me my wish"

The sky faded from blue to black, and lightning crackled around. An endless coiling figure appeared out of the balls and its blood-red eyes stared down "State your wish and it shall be granted"

"Shenron, I wish that for five years with five-year intervals the gravity rises by 0.000000031709792 a second" He made sure to get it down to the point to not screw it up, so now gravity would rise 1G a year and it would be 10G so when Goku arrived it'll be 6G globally and since the pod prepared him for 10G even if that wore of in canon it would still have an effect here so he'd be fine and the rise was so gradual no one would ever notice except people's bank accounts for weight loss programs they didn't need.

Now that was done he sat down and began meditating with Gohan and Popo training in front of him.

(1859 words)


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-You felt this chapter was absolute shit

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Okay Bye.