The two of them hated each other. And yet Castaspella "Cas" Wizard decided to throw away her virginity to a woman who was shameless in using underhanded methods to get under her skin.
Toast had burst into Cas's life literally after Cas had retired from wrestling, leaving her former partner in last place. The egotistic blonde wrestler did not take it lying down. As a result, she traveled to the island where Cas lived with her family. After the Wizard family's landlord caught her in the walls, Toast had become more brazen in her pursuit of Cas until one day she went just past the point of no return when she came in gloating that one of Cas's brothers had gotten her pregnant. It turned out that she had seduced the eldest brother Merlin in another one of her schemes, and the pregnancy was an unintended consequence that meant that Cas was stuck with the maniac for the rest of her life. And the fighting and scheming continued until her pregnancy came to term and out came twins: a boy and a girl.
That was just the least weird thing that happened to Cas. The weirdest thing that happened to her was that she, Toast, and the rest of the Wizards (plus a companion from culinary school that Deckard brought home with him) had ended up in space because the island was a spaceship belonging to the landlord's formerly comatose mother and was piloted by a strange cat/dog hybrid that belonged to her ageless neighbor who was just so because she happened to be a robot.
And still, Toast kept coming after Cas. Toast was so relentless in her obsession with Cas that she suspected Toast had a crush on her – which made sense since she had an ex-wife that Cas never bothered to care about.
To make matters worse, Toast's maniacal attacks had begun to arouse her to the point that she had fallen for her. She can't help but admire Toast's tenacity to overwhelm anyone in sight. Her bold demeanor, her strength, her persistence, everything was teasing Cas, trying to get her to give in to her wiles. She had been trying to hide it ever since.
She genuinely hated that she felt this way. What kind of freak would fall in love with someone like Toast? The tension had gotten too much to handle, so she got herself thinking about Merlin for some reason. Which got her thinking about how Toast seduced him. Which got her thinking about sex. Which got her thinking about sleeping with Toast just to end it all. Maybe that would snap the blonde out of it. Go to her and Merlin's room and screw her back into sanity. It was like something out of Seinfeld.
And just like in that show, it blew up in her face.
One, Cas was lying awake in the afterglow with the sheets draped all over her and could not fall asleep because her body got numb from the sex – so much for sleeping.
Two, Toast was off the bed dressing up and telling Cas how she got a lot of fun screwing her – so much for sleeping with her.
Three, she had realized after the climax that she had made a horrible mistake and had gotten both overwhelmed and undermined by Toast absolutely dominating her – so much for her sanity.
And four, where before she went into that room the only people who knew of her feelings towards Toast were Tim (whom she confided with about her emotions), the other users in "tha Program Zone" chat group (whom she expressed her frustrations with that led them to mock her with that) and Toast herself (who saw that conversation, and used that to annoy her further), with all the noise Toast had Cas made everyone else in her family now knew about those cries of pleasure – so much for her dignity.
She could just get out of the apartment and make a dash for the train to the mainland and run away for good.
The only problem was that the train was back on Earth.
Of course, she made that bed, and she was lying in it, literally and figuratively.
"Well, Castaspella," the blonde said smugly as she put on her sweatshirt, "it's been fun, but my kids need to get some mashed peas to try."
Toast tried to punch the wall, causing Cas to panic. "Jesus Christ, Toast, you're gonna make it even worse!" she cried out as she leaped up from the sheets and pulled Toast away from the wall. She guided Toast's hand to the doorknob, then had her twist it open and pull it. "We're on a spaceship," she said curtly. "I'd like my walls intact before we start running out of materials to fix them."
"Thanks," Toast said as she sauntered out of the room, humming a little tune of satisfaction. Cas dashed back into the bed just as her younger brother Deckard peered in through the door.
"Cas?" he called out to her as she covered herself with the sheets.
"Ugh," she groaned, "I messed up! I can't believe I let her get the best of me!"
"I'll say," Deckard said. "You sounded like you were enjoying it."
"That was the worst part. I did."
"Well…I think I'll leave you be. I don't think I can handle this."
She hmphed as he pulled away from the door.
"Is she okay in there?" she overheard her older brother Wesley ask Deckard.
"I guess," Deckard replied.
Wesley, Tim, Howell, and Crispin peered in through the door. "Can we come in, Cas?" Crispin asked.
"Tim told us about Toast," Wesley said.
"Sorry," Tim muttered.
Cas moaned in exasperated embarrassment and lay down on the bed.
"If it's any consolation," Howell said, "you started it. That's a nice set-up for getting laid."
"I wasn't doing it for kicks, Howell," she retorted.
"You were doing it for her, then?" Wesley guessed.
"No. Yes. Yes and no. God, why was I so naïve to think dealing with her through sex would work?"
"Pretty naïve," Tim said. "Especially since she has kids – your niece and nephew."
"I have some water," Crispin offered, holding out a pitcher and a little glass. She gestured to him to give it to her. After all this madness, she needed a drink.
After drinking the water, she gestured at them to go away. She looked at the clothes she had worn strewn on the floor on the side of the bed: a white shirt, black pants, and grey underwear. She put the glass back on the nightstand beside her and covered her face with the blanket to mope around in shame.
"Cas?" she heard a voice call to her. It was Merlin.
She sat up and took the blanket out of her face to see the eldest brother of the Wizards looking at her with a deadpan expression. "Augh!" she moaned in exasperation. "Yes, I'm naked; what, do you want me to throw this blanket out and have me walk around with nothing because I've made a crap ton of mistakes and I somehow don't deserve to be left alone to a normal life, dammit?!"
"Nah," Merlin said. "I've seen enough naked women for a lifetime with Toast."
"You're not mad about it?"
"No hard feelings. I wasn't that happy about getting in her schemes, either."
Cas sighed. She screwed up with a desperate act gamble that blew up in her face. "Well," she said, "at least you got something out of it."
"It was an accident," he countered. "I didn't know the condom would break. You're lucky you can't get pregnant with her."
"Her running amok is pretty much the same thing."
"She is a handful. Why did you think sleeping with her would make anything better?"
"That is a stupid question. A better question would be why I didn't stop myself."
"I didn't study psychology."
"Damn it."
He sighed. "I didn't ask for any of this. I mean, I didn't expect to get seduced by a blonde wrestler, nor did I expect to get her pregnant. Not that I don't like my kids, I just didn't plan for it to be so soon."
"Well, we're stuck with her. She's not gonna leave. And…this happened."
"Did it help that you liked her?"
She blushed. "A little," Cas said bashfully. "You sure you still want to go through with the wedding? It's not exactly a great idea when the mother of your kids ends up in bed with their aunt."
"I don't have to marry her. And I can't leave this place, so I don't see anything else happening. Barring an attack by aliens, of course."
"Good. I can't see myself as her wife. I'd kill myself."
"So, you'll be her mistress, then? For flings and stuff?"
"It's casual, but not that casual. But yeah, I guess. I can't be both an aunt and a stepmom with your kids. That's messed up."
The two paused. "Okay, this is getting awkward," Merlin stood up and spoke to her. "Put your clothes back on, Cas. It's a long way to wherever the hell Puppycat is taking us." Cas scoffed as he walked out of the room.
She was stuck with everyone. She might as well live with it.
She got out of bed and picked up her underwear to dress up. "It's a long way to Tipperary," she decided to sing to herself, "it's a long way to go." She slid on her shirt and put on her pants. "It's a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know." Now fully dressed, she went out of the bedroom and turned off the lights. "Goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Square," she sang, "it's a long, long way to Tipperary, but my heart's right there."