Her mind didn't allow her to sleep again. It was a daily matter for her, but most of the time, it was due to images from the war ricocheting in her mind. The dead corpses she had witnessed and seeing her injured friends in St. Mungo's suffering and crying their lungs out due to their fatal injuries haunted her at night.
She remembers walking through the halls at St. Mungo's during the war and spotting blood everywhere she looked. She hated it back then and hated how much it still affected her. Even if most things have been replaced and fixed and people healed, she remained broken.
However, what was interesting for her tonight was that the main reason why she couldn't fall asleep was because of that book Malfoy had placed in front of her. She didn't like that he was able to find the exact book that they were looking for and that she couldn't. She didn't even know why it was hard for her to stomach it. It frustrated her.
She still tried her best to free her mind of all thoughts, but it was impossible. She was Hermione, and her brain never stopped. It was a blessing and a curse.
She got up and cast a Muffliato around her so that she wouldn't wake up Ginny whilst she dressed. She sneaked into Harry's room, and it took her less than two minutes to figure out where he hid his invisibility cloak. It was in his trunk, under two textbooks. How secretive, she thought to herself and let out a low chuckle. She made a mental note to tell him to find a new spot to hide it and made her way into the library.
It was half past two in the morning, and she had five and a half hours before Mme. Pince shift would begin to find a book with more helpful information than Malfoy's. She decided she wouldn't skip a single section and try to look at every book possible. The first three sections she checked were utterly useless, and she was already drenched in sweat as if she had been trying to escape a group of Snatchers trying to capture her. She cast a cooling charm around her, tied up her hair, and continued.
She searched for another two hours, but nothing was better than what he had found.
Her initial goal, of looking at every book, might have been very unrealistic.
She found some books about Wolfsbane, but it mainly was fairy tales for kids about werewolves. It was hopeless, and she could already see rays of sunlight glimmer through the expansive windows of the library.
She had less than three hours left, and there were so many books to go through. Even if all the students at Hogwarts searched the library for five and a half hours, they wouldn't be able to go through every single book.
Hermione didn't give up because she believed she would eventually find it. She always did, that's why she could always help Harry all these years, but she knew that she probably wasn't going to find one anytime soon, let alone in these last two and a half hours she had left. She also didn't have the same enthusiasm and strong will to do things as she had had before the war, but she was determined to keep pushing for this one time.
While scanning the books in the aisle for first years, she came across a very familiar book. She rummaged through the contents, and the writing became familiar to her. She remembered looking through it in her first year and that there was a specific charm she had learned from it. She skimmed through all the content, and towards the end, she noticed one page had an ink drop, which was hers. She had a terrible habit of accidentally dropping ink from her quill and holding books with her ink-tainted fingers. The page with the ink drop had the charm she was looking for.
Hilite Voca is a charm that helps create a nuance of bright colours on your desired word. Hermione took her wand from her pocket, " Hilite Voca Wolfsbane ," and bright colours appeared on every book that contained the word Wolfsbane. Hermione found it hard to not smile, but she wouldn't praise herself until she found exactly what she was looking for.
She returned to the first aisle she searched in case she had missed a book containing information about Alchemical bindings in Wolfsbane. She turned around the aisle and was happy she didn't see any bright colours highlighting a book. She levitated every book highlighted with nuances of colours onto a table and started looking through them.
Many of them didn't matter, but after eliminating them one by one, she finally found one, which she was pretty sure was the one. One that was so much better and more detailed than what Malfoy had found. The title was 'Wolfsbane: Magical Process, Transmutation of Substances and Alchemical Bindings." Hermione had forgotten how it felt to feel accomplished about something as stupid as one-upping her classmate. For the first time in a long time, she felt connected to her old self and what the old Hermione would get happy about.
She levitated all the other books back to their rightful place and hid under her invisibility cloak to head back to her dorm. It was already seven in the morning, and she had to be up in a quarter of an hour.
Great.
She decided to take a hot shower and get on with her day. Thankfully she still had a couple vials of Insomnian , a potion that had the same effect as a full night's sleep for half a day. She had experimented on it and brewed it last year during the war to be able to stay up all night when she needed to guard their tent.
She poured the liquid into her mouth. She would crash down in exhaustion at around eight in the evening, but she had seven classes today, so it was more than worth it.
The Great Hall was super crowded since most students rushed to breakfast around twenty minutes before classes began. Hermione wasn't particularly hungry, but she didn't want to deal with Ginny's commentary that she wasn't 'eating enough', so she took a slice of toast with a chocolate spread and a black coffee. The chocolate spread's taste was similar to Nutella but not as satisfactory. Its scent didn't give her the same nostalgia as Nutella and took her back to memories of her childhood mornings. She made a mental note to bring a jar of Nutella with her after Christmas Break.
She spotted Malfoy sitting with Nott at the Slytherin table; she wanted to place the book she found in front of him but didn't want them to think that she still cared about rivalry and one-upping him like in the old days.
Her mind was telling her, no, but her gut was telling her to just do it. She knew that she would feel satisfied after she did it, but if she didn't, she would've wondered what his reaction would've been and cursed at herself when it became too late for not going after the things she wanted. Also, if she placed the book in front of him later on, it wouldn't have the same effect as now. Since he would think that she didn't have a life and searched for a better book for several days to prove her point.
When did it matter to her what he thinks?
Hermione decided to do it. It wasn't even such a huge deal. She was just going to place a freaking book, that's it.
She got up, clutched her book, and walked straight to him. Both boys looked up at her whilst she placed the book in front of them.
She watched them read the title and saw a hint of a smile form on Nott's lips.
Malfoy looked up at her, unimpressed. "What's your point, Granger?" he said in tones of ice.
Her insides screamed, 'What you can do, Malfoy, I can do better.'
What she actually said was, "The book you found is not the only one we need" she emphasized on 'the'. From the corner of her eye, she could see him twiddle with his signet ring.
"Waiting for applause?" He asked, and before she could answer, he continued, "I'll applaud you," he clapped his hands twice with a long pause between each clap. "Satisfied? Now leave so I can enjoy my breakfast without having to watch your bird's nest of a hair."
Hermione was expecting a reaction but not this . She tried to keep herself together and not give him the satisfaction of taking a rise out of her. It wasn't super hard, she just rummaged through her mind to images of the war, and it made her feel numb, "I wasn't waiting for applause, and there is nothing wrong with having a lot of hair. In fact, you might want to look out for your balding hairline." She spun on her heel and plopped back in her seat at the Gryffindor table. She angrily took a bite of her toast and looked up at two pairs of eyes staring at her. Harry and Ginny were sitting across from her.
"What was that all about?" Harry asked.
"Nothing important. He was being an arse, and I put him to his place," Hermione answered. It wasn't like her to be rude to people, but when it came to Malfoy, she couldn't care less. She would've hoped that the war had taught him something, but he, unfortunately, was the same. Same cold eyes and snake-like words.
"If you say so," thankfully, Harry didn't push it.
"Badass Hermi, love it," Ginny seemed like a proud mother watching her daughter get a higher degree diploma.
Hermione rolled her eyes at her nickname, but Ginny only smiled.
"So, Harry. How's it going with your Therapy Partner?" Hermione switched the topic.
He took a bite of his toast, "I thought it would be awkward at first, but I'm having a lot of fun talking to my partner. He's super sarcastic, and our friendship dynamic is much different than I'm used to."
"Makes sense. You can't really see each other. You also mentioned he was a he. How do you know that?" Hermione inquired and took a sip of her coffee that had become cold. She quickly reheated it with a tap of her wand, so it was at boiling heat. All her friends, including her parents, think she's a psycho for taking her coffee like that. But, she weirdly enjoys the feeling of having a burned tongue, unlike most people she's encountered in her life.
"Not in that way," Harry corrected her, "I mean, it's very different compared to my friendship with Ron. Don't get me wrong, I love him like a brother, but the things we talk about are so different with my therapy partner than with him. Oh, he told me he was a he, that's why."
Ginny, who hadn't participated in the new conversation topic yet, interrupted, "That makes sense as well. Ron's an idiot," she laughed, and they joined her laughter.
"On a serious note, though. What do you talk about with him then?" Ginny asked, looking curiously at Harry.
"About things that matter. Our future. Our dreams. The things we want and don't want in our life. It feels sort of refreshing to talk about these things, and it makes it better because it's unprejudiced, and for once, someone knows me just as a normal person. Just Harry rather than Harry Potter, and it feels comforting. I didn't tell him who I was, but you know what I mean."
Ginny caressed his shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Even though Hermione doesn't know exactly what Harry went through, she kind of knows what it feels like after the war. Before the war, she wasn't really seen by anyone other than Harry's sidekick or friend, but it all changed after the war.
Now she was the war heroine, Hermione Granger.
Everyone knew who she was; she always felt she needed to do things to live up to her title. Before, she wanted to prove herself worthy of being a muggle-born, and now even though she couldn't care less about blood status, there was her second title.
Golden Girl.
The pressure she felt was even more because now it was on a global scale rather than on a Hogwarts scale. She hoped she could've said the same things about her therapy partner, but she had an unlucky match.
"Well, I'm glad that you were matched with someone that fulfils the purpose of what McGonagall imposed, and I hope that you'll know each other's identity sooner or later," Hermione really meant it and wanted the best for Harry, but couldn't hide her disappointment towards her own situation.
…
Hermione had her therapy session in a bit, and she would afterwards meet up with her group at the library to research more materials. She was already ahead and made around thirty pages of notes that she gathered from several books. But, Wolfsbane: Magical Process, Transmutation of Substances and Alchemical Bindings, was the book she could get the most material out of. Reading half of the book already gave her a broad understanding of how the alchemical bindings in potions were performed and formed.
She placed her notes in her bookbag and went to the sixth floor. She didn't even bother coming in time since it didn't matter anyway since they didn't talk. It felt against her nature to be late, but she didn't have to maintain a good impression since her partner didn't know who she was.
She entered the room and looked over to the cloak to see that she was four minutes late. She casually took a seat and picked up one of her muggle novels, The Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie and resumed reading it. She was pretty close to figuring out who the murderer was.
"You're late," a voice came from the other side. The sound was weird; she couldn't compare it to anything.
Why is he even pinpointing that she arrived late? If her partner had the decency to actually speak to her the first time, she would've ensured she had arrived ten minutes early.
Her partner's voice was high and low-pitched at the same time. She never came across such magic. It intrigued her, and she made a mental note to study how such a wall could be created. "Oh, you talk?" she asked sarcastically, shutting her book.
"Is that supposed to be funny?" her partner asked, and she chuckled. It was funny to her.
"Yeah, it's hilarious" Hermione had a deep love for dry humour.
"Whatever. Doesn't change the fact that you're five minutes late," the voice said.
"Four," Hermione corrected her partner, and she could hear them sigh.
"Four and a half," her partner corrected her this time. It was four minutes and thirty-seven seconds from what Hermione recalled seeing on the clock.
"Desperately counting the seconds till I arrive?" Hermione asked nonchalantly. Feeling satisfied with her instant comeback.
"Don't flatter yourself. I don't like when people are late." She had to admit that it was a good response, but she didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. While Harry was discussing his future with his therapy partner and Ginny about Quidditch, she was arguing nonsense.
"Well, I don't like when people don't respond to me," Hermione picked up her book and tried to focus on reading.
"It's not my problem you don't say things that are worth answering," the voice said. Hermione could feel her temper rising.
"What about the word 'Hi' seems not answer worthy to you? I'd really like to know." She was curious and even said it three times in the previous session. What does her partner expect her to say? If they ever killed someone in the battle or something? Or what their favourite pastry was? Both were random and not what she would ask a person the second she met them.
"It's boring," they answered, and she could hear them yawn.
"It's a conversation starter. How do you greet people when you first meet them?"
"I don't." Nothing they say made sense to Hermione.
"What do you mean you don't?" She inquired, frustrated at her partner's short and non-explicative answers.
"You ask far too many questions." Why were they being so mysterious? It was a simple question, she thought to herself.
"Must be because you give great answers," she huffed and picked up her book for the third time. Nothing her partner will say will make her stop reading.
"Careful," she heard them say. She bit her tongue to not respond and forced herself to continue reading. She was consuming the pages but not the meaning. It was hard to focus on reading when the only thing she wanted to do was talk back.
She could only get through five pages when the session's time was up, and she collected her bookbag and walked toward the library. She made a quick stop at the ladies' room and encountered Angelina; they walked to the library together.
Nott and Malfoy were already seated at their table. "Someone looks like they're in a bad mood," Nott said, watching Hermione as she placed her notes and books on the table. She rolled her eyes at him, and turned to look at Malfoy who was eyeing her curiously.