"Why? Why, Dooku? Why must that selfish Kenobi always ruin my evil plans!" Sidious shouts, but to Dooku, it looks as if he is in the middle of shouting and crying. They are in the middle of a debriefing on Mustafar, but as usual, it feels like a counseling appointment, Dooku being the one to have to listen to all this complaining.
"I wouldn't say selfish." Dooku says but he goes unheard by the Sith having a mental breakdown.
"I make sure he is sent on the most dangerous missions, hoping each time he comes out dead, but every time he walks out without a scratch!" Sidious cries/shouts.
"I wouldn't say he comes out unscathed every time." Dooku says, but it falls on deaf ears.
"What will it take to kill the Jedi!" Sidious cries out.
"Probably nothing." Dooku mutters.
"Maybe I could hire a bounty hunter." Sidious plots.
"That wouldn't work." Dooku muses.
"Maybe I can turn him to the Darkside." Sidious says, excitedly.
"That would never ever happen, he's too bright." Dooku says, but Sidious isn't listening.
"That would never happen, he's too bright in the Force." Sidious claims as Dooku rolls his eyes.
"Droid, get me a tea, I'm going to be here a while." Dooku shouts.
"That's it! Tea!" Sidious exclaims as Dooku looks at him, confused.
"What about tea?" Dooku asks, visibly confused.
"I poison him, obviously! I invite him over for tea and poison him, it's almost too perfect!" Sidious says, excitedly.
"He's a Jedi Master, Sidious. He won't fall for a poisoned tea." Dooku states as if it's the most obvious thing ever.
"You underestimate me, Dooku. He will die by my hand! I will give him so much poison, that it would even kill the most powerful Sith." Sidious says and rushes out of the room.
"I'm too old of this crap." Dooku says, shaking his head tiredly.
"Master Kenobi, I'm so glad you could make it. Please sit." Palpatine says, gesturing to one of the sofas.
"Thank you, Chancellor, for inviting me, but might I ask why you requested my presence?" Obi-Wan asks curiously.
"Can't two friends just hang out?" Palpatine asks.
"I'd hardly say we're friends, Chancellor, no offence." Obi-Wan states.
"No offense taken. Please, have some tea." Palpatine says.
"Is there some sugar perhaps, I never drink it black." Obi-Wan says and Palpatine hurriedly goes to grab the sugar.
While Palpatine rushes off, Obi-Wan quickly switches the cups, the Force warning him of oncoming danger, and quite frankly, he's suspicious as to why Palpatine called him here for tea.
Palpatine rushes back and hands him the sugar. He puts in a few scoops and drinks, he eyes Palpatine watching him eagerly as he takes a sip of his own tea.
"This is very good tea, Chancellor, I can see why wanted me to come all the way over here for it." Obi-Wan sarcastically states.
"Thank you, Master Kenobi." Palpatine says, as he stares at the Jedi.
Why isn't he falling dead yet, he is nearly done with his cup! Sidious thinks.
Obi-Wan finishes his cup and notices the Chancellor isn't looking too well, he looks paler than usual. The Chancellor keeps staring at him and Obi-Wan moves around in his seat, a bit freaked out.
"Why aren't you dying!" Sidious shouts, his words bit slurred though. Obi-Wan looks at him confused.
"I'm sorry?" Obi-Wan inquires.
"Why aren't you DYING?! I gave you so much poison it could even kill a Master Sith like me." Sidious complains. "I keep trying to kill you, but it never works! Are you immortal?" Sidious blurts out, his mind fuzzy and not working correctly.
"I don't believe so, also, I guess it's a good thing I switched the cups." Obi-Wan says, unsure about this whole situation.
"You what?!" Sidious shouts, but his vision is starting to fade. "I should've listened to Dooku." Sidious mutters as he blacks out and passes.
"Well, this is awkward." Obi-Wan says, unsure what to do next. Sidious comm blinks and Obi-Wan quickly answers it, Dooku appears.
"Hello, Kenobi. I assume my ex-master tried to poison you already?" Dooku asks, nonchalantly.
"Yes, he did. He's currently lying dead in his office." Obi-Wan says, feeling quite uncomfortable at the moment.
"I told him it was not possible. Since Sidious is dead, I surrender, the war is over now. I also killed Grievous; you don't need to deal with that hacking robot anymore. I am retiring to my home planet, and I expect not to be bothered. And, even though we do not know each other that well, you were very smart in finding out his plot and killing him with his own tea, he always hated you the most, so congratulations to you on your new achievements." Dooku says and hangs up.
"That was something." Obi-Wan mutters. "Maybe I just need a nap, and this whole thing is just me going crazy." Obi-Wan muses. He looks over to Palpatine's body and still sees the anguish written all over his face. "Nevermind." He mutters and pulls out his comm.
"Mace, the Chancellor is dead, I found out who Sidious is, Grievous is dead, and the war is now over." Obi-Wan tiredly states. Korun Master stares at him, unsure of what to say, so he decides to keep it short.
"OBI-WAN!" Mace shouts and Obi-Wan hangs up. He walks over to one of the couches and sits, all this new information still a shock to him. He falls asleep on the sofa, only a few feet from the now-dead Sith Lord.
Mace arrives and lets out an animalistic sound, too tired of dealing with all this crap and so done with everything.
He takes off his outer cloak and lays it on Obi-Wan, then calls for the guards to clean up the body and alert the Senate. Today's going to be a long day. Mace thinks, already dreading the long meetings he's going to have to attend too.
May the Force bless us all!