"Come on," Theo gestured at Draco to come into the water, "It's not even that cold," he noted, trying to persuade him when he was, in fact, freezing.
"I'm good here," he sat on a nearby rock, crossing his arms. Theo was trying not to scream whilst the icy water engulfed his body.
Theo had dragged Draco out of bed at one in the morning to go swimming at the Black Lake. After thirty minutes of protesting, Draco finally agreed since he knew that Theo wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. He couldn't sleep anyway, so a bit of fresh air wouldn't be so bad. Despite how cold it was, he had forgotten how relaxing around the Black Lake felt at night.
"It feels so good," Theo said, his teeth trembling.
Draco made a face, "You sound super convincing," he grunted, turning his gaze over to the forest. He had never come here at night before, except for that one time in fifth year when Theo, Blaise and him experimented with some drugs.
Theo growled back at him, bit his tongue from swearing at the almost glacial water, and started swimming in a breaststroke style around the lake.
Once he felt like his body somewhat adapted to the temperature, he swam back towards him, "Dracky," he started, "You're already here, so why not just join? We could also play that game we played when we were kids," he suggested, knowing how much Draco loved to play that game, "I remember you begging me constantly to play with you, it was basically the only thing we did after first, second and third year. You know you miss it," he teased, pretty confident that he wouldn't be able to resist his offer.
Draco contemplated for a bit, "Yeah, that was ages ago," he remarked, still crossing his arms, "How do you even know I'll enjoy it now? Maybe we're going to realize it's a shit game after all, and our childhood nostalgia is going to be ruined," he argued. Deep down, knowing that Theo would still find a better argument and that he would sooner or later end up in that lake against his will.
"That's not a possibility. You were in love with that game and even rejected that girl that wanted to come over in the summer after third year, just so we could play the game for the whole day," he noted, knowing he was close to convincing him. He always did, "Should I also mention the part that you were literally crushing on her for a whole year and wouldn't stop talking out her sparkling hazel eyes and her-"
The platinum blonde silenced him with his wand, "Fine," he gave in, rising to his feet, "I'll get in. But only for ten minutes. Ten," he emphasized, "and no more and no mentioning that ever again," he huffed, removing his clothes except his underpants, and placing them neatly on the ground on top of Theo's clothes. He cursed at himself for how good his friend was at convincing him. He removed the silencing charm, and Theo brought his hand up, leveling it with his lips, did a movement as if he were locking them and tossed an imaginary key into the surface of the lake.
"Now that that's settled, get in already," he urged, waiting for him impatiently. Draco dipped his toe to get a sense of what he was getting himself into, "Fuck! How does this feel so good ?" he asked, taking a step back.
"Stop being a pussy ," Theo rolled his eyes, swimming backwards, "Just jump."
Draco sneered at his friend's suggestion, "Fuck no," he growled, taking a step forward again, placing both feet in the water and felt his lower legs freeze with the water that collided them as his legs started to disappear from view.
"Tick. Tock. Tick-"Theo sang and dived down to try to explore the fish. He couldn't see anything because of the pitch black.
When he resurfaced, he saw Draco was already halfway in, "Is there any chance you could pass me my wand? I want to see the fish," Theo inquired, knowing there was no chance he would actually do it.
"If I get out, I'm not going back in," he said and finally let his whole body be surrounded by water, "Fuck me," he scowled, biting his lower lip to shift his focus from how cold it was.
"Never mind then," said Theo, splashing water in his direction. Draco, who wasn't planning on wetting his hair, grabbed his wand from his underpants pocket and created a mini tsunami towards the wizard as payback.
"Hey!" Exclaimed Theo, "that's not fair!" Swimming away from him.
"Not my fault you didn't take your wand," he shrugged, sending a stronger one this time. Theo quickly ducked and swam to his left," Ha!" He smiled victoriously and went to the shore to fetch his wand.
Once he was back in the water, he immediately conjured his own mini tsunami, but the blonde easily dodged it.
"You know that you could've easily conjured your wand with Accio," Draco mocked him, "Time for you to go back to first year," he smirked.
"Not at all. I just wanted to see if you were a gentleman or not," he said sarcastically, nose in the air.
Draco scrunched his nose at the reference, "Don't start with that Granger bullshit," he grunted, forming a snake out of water and launching it towards him. The snake coiled in his direction at lightning speed, and Theo blocked it, casting a protego, "Not bad," he clapped his hands in slug-speed, "Let's start the game already," Draco nodded in agreement.
They had created the game back in the summer after the first year. It consisted of two players, whom first held their breath underwater, and the last one to resurface would have the advantage of starting first. Draco always managed to keep his breath underwater for longer due to constant practice when he was a kid. Then, the winner of the first round would transform themselves into a shark and chase the loser, who would transform themselves into an orca. The second their shark form touched the orca with their nose, they would win and reverse the roles.
The pair would play this game for hours on end without getting sick of it. Something about the adrenaline and catching or running away from each other seemed incredibly fun to them.
They usually always played it at the lake near Malfoy Manor. Narcissa would watch them from her bedroom window and always get scared that her son would accidentally injure himself, even though Draco would assure her that nothing would happen.
They stood five feet apart, "3, 2, 1," and dipped into the water. Draco wasn't super confident in his ability to hold his breath, unlike before, since he hadn't practiced in a long time.
On the other hand, Theo was already ready to reach back to the surface, knowing that there was a ninety-nine percent chance he would lose, but he still pushed through as much as he could.
The longer Draco held his breath, the more he understood why he loved the water so much as a kid. He had forgotten the noise-canceling silence he felt underwater. That's why whenever his parents argued as a kid, he would go swim and listen to the water to feel peace and be away from conflict.
The war had made him forget what his former escapades were. He forgot the old techniques he had once used to cope with his feelings. Now all he seemed to do was stare at his ceiling at night or kick first years' tables. But, it never gave him as much satisfaction and serenity as how he felt right now. He didn't even want to play anymore. He just wanted to breathe, then dip right back into the quietude and continue the cycle until dawn.
He saw Theo rise upward and did the same, "Five years later, and you still beat me," remarked the dark-haired wizard, pointing his wand to himself. He mumbled a charm, and Draco watched him transform into an orca. He did the same, transformed himself into a shark and went after him.
Hermione was unable to dive deep into her slumber. She hated turning in her bed for two hours. It felt like she spent the two hours for nothing. If she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, she would've read a book or done something productive rather than simply lying in bed.
She could've taken a sleeping draught, but she didn't have any left. She gave them all to Ginny, who took them since a study conducted found that it reduced nightmares. Her nightmares happened at least twice a week. She would talk and scream a lot in her sleep, and Hermione felt bad for her. She had asked her about her nightmares once, but she didn't want to talk about it, and Hermione thought that she would tell her in her own time.
So, she decided to go back to the Black Lake in hopes that the environment would clean up her mind and it would allow her to get some sleep in. Since, she didn't want to feel tired whilst in Hogsmeade. It was going to be the first time the trio had finally found some time to hangout with only the three of them.
It was Saturday, after all, and she didn't need to be up until one in the afternoon, but she didn't want to ruin her sleep routine. It was one of the only things that seemed somewhat stable in her life, and screwing it up only once would take her super long to adjust back to normal again.
During the war, she basically didn't have a sleep routine, and it took her until mid-August to finally fix it. The whole summer, she would wake up at four in the afternoon and sleep at seven in the morning. It made her feel very unproductive and depressed than she already was since that routine was not Hermione.
She was never like that.
She would always wake up at six thirty sharp and sleep at around eleven at night. It was always like that before the war, excluding the times when she had to pull an all-nighter to go on another mission with the rest of the trio.
Once arrived, she sat at her usual spot and watched the slow-flowing body of open water. No sound rang out from the shimmering emptiness of space around it. Monastery quiet, it was surrounded by pine trees, and the whiff of mint wafted up her nose. She let the smell infiltrate her, and a sense of relaxation settled in her core.
Hermione closed her eyes and let her spirit enjoy the tranquility. She was glad that there was no one fooling around that night. She really needed to be at peace. Her head couldn't stop wondering who her therapy partner was and why they behaved that way.
It was very evident that they enjoyed messing around with her, but she did not like it. It didn't even make sense to her.
Why waste a perfect opportunity to let your feelings out guilt-free?
She sounded like a television commercial.
Maybe they coped with humor?
If that was the case, then she might be open to that if they let her participate with them as well.
"I definitely touched you!" Someone yelled, and Hermione's eyes shot open. There was a figure in the lake, and the water around them was moving.
No, it was an object?
Hermione squinted her eyes to get a better look. She couldn't see the object circling around the figure.
She cast a magnifying charm on her eye to get a sharper look.
Hermione blinked, looking again to see if she saw correctly.
The dorsal fin of a shark was circling around Nott. Hermione's face paled, and she lunged forward, thinking he was being attacked.
"Yeah, right," the shark transformed behind Nott into a person.
Malfoy.
Hermione was nearly at the shore when she stopped in her tracks, hoping they hadn't noticed her.
Nott turned around to face Draco, "I touched you with my forehead for at least two seconds," he insisted.
Hermione let out a breath of relief and thanked Merlin for not being noticed. She quickly cast a disillusionment charm around her.
"Never happened," Draco protested, his nose in the air. He really hadn't felt his touch, and two seconds was a reach even for Theo.
Theo scowled at him, "You're such a cheater!" He jumped backwards and kicked his feet, sending water splashes toward Draco.
Hermione gargled with euphoric laughter at Nott's sudden movement but quickly silenced herself so that they wouldn't be able to hear her.
Malfoy, in response, transfigured his legs into a shark tail and lunged forward to grab Nott's arm and started to drag him around the lake. He tried to escape his grip, but it was too strong, so Nott transfigured his legs into an orca's tail, grabbed Malfoy by the opposite arm, and started dragging him instead.
Boys will be boys.
They dragged each other for around five minutes, and she watched them laugh hysterically and curse at each other at the same time.
She hadn't really seen them be this childish before and was surprised that they were able to laugh like this.
Nott laughing wasn't that big of a surprise.
But Malfoy was a different story.
She had heard him laugh before, but that was in fifth year in Potions Class, but his voice had become deeper now, and it sounded much different than before.
Their laughter somewhat soothed her. She liked listening to it.
They transfigured their legs back to normal, "Still doesn't change the fact that you're a cheater," pointed out Theo, smiling mischievously.
"Would you like me to transfigure into a Dragon and drag you by your arm in the air instead?" Suggested Draco, looking somewhat serious.
"I don't think that is something I would be interested in," he assured him in a joking diplomatic manner. Theo threw one mini splash in his direction to tease him, and she watched the blonde's lips form into a cheeky smile.
Draco smiling. An oxymoron in itself.
He didn't look that bad when he smiled. It somewhat warmed her heart.
Hermione slapped her face to turn back to reality.
He wasn't attractive.
He was Malfoy.
…
On her way to breakfast, she spotted Ron walking with Parkinson again in broad daylight. Just before entering the Great Hall, the witch told him something and walked back toward Hermione. She shot up a quick glare at Hermione, who watched her curiously and walked past her.
This was the perfect time to confront him." Ron," she raised her voice enough for him to hear her. He turned around and stood at the threshold of the grand doors, "Mione," he greeted.
"I need to talk about something with you," she said, and he entered the Great Hall, "Okay, let's sit down," he offered, but she still stood at the threshold, "In private. Let's go to the courtyard."
Ron nodded and walked with her. They sat at a bench located at the far right of the entrance. She cleared her throat and cast a silencing charm around them, "What's going on?" Ron asked, thinking that she was acting bizarre lately.
"Nothing, I just wanted to ask what's going on with you and Parkinson?" she went straight to the point, "You didn't want to tell me at breakfast, so I thought I'd ask you-"
"Oh, that's what you were trying to get at two days ago," he laughed, cutting her off, "Nothing is going on with us. We're just assigned on prefect patrols together."
Everything made sense now.
It explained the late-night strolls in the castle.
"Oh," that's the only thing she could muster up to say.
"Did you really think I wouldn't tell you if I started seeing someone?" she shook her head, "Besides, Pansy's not my type. I'm pretty sure you know very well that I prefer brunettes," he somewhat smirked at her, and her cheeks flushed a light pink.
They had kissed multiple times during the war, and he had went down on her twice, but nothing more. She felt so bland whilst kissing him as if she were kissing an inanimate object.
There were no sparks like the authors she read described in their books.
No butterflies.
No daydreams
No wandering.
No, pull towards him.
He was just there, and she needed affection and vice versa.
It was harder for him to get over her, but he soon realised she was right. They were better as friends.
But, if she had asked to get married and build a life with him, he would.
He always had an infatuation with her. He knew it would always be there, but he was okay with that.
He placed his hands on hers, "No secrets," he assured her.
"No secrets," she smiled back.
…
After catching up with Ron at breakfast, she went to her room to nap before her therapy session. Ginny had already left for the Burrow to have breakfast with her parents, and she hoped they would all be okay.
She set the alarm to one hour before her session to get ready. She hadn't put makeup on in two years, and she hoped that this first step was for her to get closer to her old self.
As she put on eyeliner, she quickly realized that this wasn't the right first move for her. She was never into makeup growing up. It mainly was something to do with other people's opinions of herself. She did it for others so that they could see her as something other than the brains of the operation.
She was always 'The bookworm.'
'Golden Girl'
'Nerdy'
'Potter's sidekick'
But never:
'Pretty'
'Breathtaking'
'Intelligent'
'Wise'
'Hermione'
People didn't even bother calling her by her own name.
Who was she?
She had no clue.
It seemed like everyone except her had figured out her identity and fit her into a box.
Everyone either called her 'Granger' or by some silly nicknames like 'Hermi.'
How was she supposed to know if she was attractive or not? Yes, there was Victor Krum, that took her to the Yule Ball in fourth year and Ron, that kissed her a couple of times, but that was it. One was because they needed a date, and the other, affection.
No one wanted her. They simply wanted the idea of her or what she could offer.
No one gave her the validation she needed.
She didn't want to ask for validation, to not seem desperate, but it was hard to surpress her needs.
Whenever she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw nothing.
She felt neutral.
She didn't think she was ugly, but she definitely didn't think she was pretty.
She craved words of affirmation, but no one gave them to her. She's also scared that if anyone somehow gave her the assurance she desired, she wouldn't believe it since she's lived without it for eighteen years of her life.
A tear escaped from her eyes. Eighteen years and no one loved her and craved her existence.
She quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand and removed all of her makeup.
Failure.
She got dressed and walked to her therapy session, knowing that if it went bad again, she might even cry at this point.
She didn't bother arriving early today and arrived just in time.
"Right on time, what a surprise," she heard them say before she even took a seat.
Was she going to put up with their games today or not?
Hermione made a quick mental pros and cons list.
Pros:
It would distract her from her current depression hole. Old stubborn Hermione would resurface (Not that she isn't stubborn now) She would get the satisfaction of one-upping him in most of his arguments (What's the point in it, though? Mental trophy? Did she really need another mental trophy? Okay, stop being cocky, Hermione.) Maybe find out who they were (Why did she care, though?) Possibility of having a deep talk (two percent chance at most. No, actually, let's make it one.)
That's enough Pros.
Cons:
Be more depressed or super angry. Arguments resulting in brain fog and being in a crappy mood at Hogsmeade. Kill them? (Okay, she didn't hate them to that extremity, but she refused to cross that out from the potential outcomes. Was it really worth it to go to Azkaban for someone she didn't even know? Yeah definitly not worth it.) Sneak into McGonagall's office to find out who they were and stab them in their sleep? (Most predictable outcome she could come up with. She gave it a thirty-seven percent chance.)
That was a great idea, actually. Why didn't she go to her office to find out? But she didn't really think that the headmistress would keep them there. Her best bet was that it remained hidden in the Ministry archives.
In the scenario, she was right. Did she really want to cheat in finding out their identity?
What was the real fun in that?
Thinking about all this created a distraction for her, and it made her feel slightly better, so she went with option one.
She was going to put up with their games.
"I'm always on time," she retorted, taking a seat and crossing her legs.
Her partner scoffed, "I think you forgot about two sessions ago. You might want to book a doctor's appointment to check up on that Alzheimer's of yours," he said, smirking.
The fun had begun. For him, at least.
"Actually went yesterday and said I was a hundred percent clear," she sighed, extending her arms backwards to stretch.
Not bad, he thought to himself.
"Have you checked up on yours? You know, since you forgot to respond to me last session?" she added, biting her lower lip with her cheeks rising up. It was a good answer. She mentally high-fived herself.
"Now, now," he started, "There is a big difference between forgetting and choosing not to answer," he noted, fixing his perfectly coiffed hair from a strand that fell on his forehead.
"Why did you not answer then? Or was my assumption correct? No one has ever seen-" she corrected herself, "in our case, heard this side of you." She was curious about what they would say.
Was it going to be nonsense again or the truth this time?
I guess we'll find out shortly.
Draco catches his tongue, pursing his lips to stop himself from sharing something he might regret. He took a moment to think.
Did he really want to tell the truth or stay with his original mindset and continue not sharing anything about himself?
They didn't know who he was, but still, did he really want to open up the guard he had been religiously holding on to for many years?
If he could hold it for that long, then he could do the same now as well. But was this who he always wanted to be?
In hiding.
He hid so much that he didn't know who he was anymore.
Who was he?
He had no clue.
"They have, but not in a long time," it wasn't too revealing of an answer, was it?
They finally gave a sort of truthful answer. Hermione was surprised. She really thought that the nonsense would continue the whole year and that she wouldn't know anything about them.
"Why?" she inquired, leaning on her chair towards the magical wall, finally feeling like the gate was going to open itself.
He fucked up. It was too revealing.
" Hello ?" Hermione was itching to know. To discover them.
Fuck.
"Don't ask me questions like that again," he said in an almost threatening tone, and she heard the echo of the door slam shut.
She sighed in hopelessness.
The Pro's and Con's list she procured didn't even have this option.
It's always the ones we don't predict that happen to us.