my power was out for 10 hours yesterday rip but the fic's finally done!

you ever just think about the head in the forest. do you think they have a sign there like a tourist spot like "spit at the head here! but don't feed him bread!"

Temari knelt silently in the dark of the forest, listening to the sounds around her, her eyes closed. Somewhere nearby, birds were chirping goodnight at each other, their music blending in melodiously with the forest's subtle evening hum. The leaves rustled with the wind, and there were the soft crunches of leaves and twigs snapping under the weight of some forest animal. She could hear her breathing, slow and steady, as she had been trained to do.

Concentrating harder, she listened for other sounds–specifically, for the heavier footfalls of a certain four-legged animal that made its home in the Nara forests. According to her research, deer were usually crepuscular animals, roaming in the dim hours of dusk and dawn.

The sun had started to set a few minutes ago, and already the forest was cast in shadows, the trees blocking what little light was left. Opening her eyes, she could see the moon above her; it was a full moon today and its light would prove useful for her as the night wore on.

She continued to stalk lightly on the forest floor, trying to find a deer to befriend and bring back. Temari didn't have much of an interest in deer, but her pride was at stake. It hadn't been long since she and Shikamaru had first started seeing each other, but already the elders in his clan were throwing snide comments and remarks her way. They thought she wouldn't know, but Temari was highly observant, catching snippets of their conversation and the way they cast her surreptitious glances. It was the usual complaints: Temari isn't from Konoha, Temari's a foreigner, Temari's a Suna enemy. It was old talk from an old age. The youngsters had already moved on from that, but the elders hadn't. It was like that back in Suna, too, and why there was talk about marrying Gaara off soon, in case she happened to marry Shikamaru (How dare they assume she would even marry in the first place, Temari thought huffily. Just because she was a woman didn't mean they got to assume she would be married off. And even if she wanted to, it would be her choice), leading to a Kazekage heir from Konoha (This was another assumption she hated–that if she got married, she would automatically have kids. Besides, it was still way too early to discuss such things with Shikamaru, and she knew he felt the same way about it, awkward and hesitant).

When Temari had arrived in Konoha this morning and sought her boyfriend out at his house, she had passed by the Nara elders on her way there, hearing them whine and whimper about her. They had been hidden in the shadows, something Temari had noticed the Naras liked to do, and whispering not so quietly about how she was a desert girl, how she would never understand the forest the way any Nara was supposed to.

Upon hearing those words, and never one to back down from a challenge, she had decided today was the day she would prove them wrong. She would set out into the forest and find a deer and befriend it, a daunting task considering the cautious nature of the deer against strangers.

Thankfully, at least Shikamaru's mother Yoshino was not like the others, welcoming her with open arms and a wide smile, remarking something about kindred spirits that had turned Shikamaru red, though she wasn't sure why. When Temari had relayed her plans to Yoshino, the older woman had been delighted, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.

Shikamaru, of course, had been horrified and slightly confused.

"You know you need permission to set foot there," he had said. "And why the deer?"

She had merely rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, so give me permission to go then, Mr. Head of the Clan, and there won't be a problem. As for the deer, if I can show your elders that they trust me, then surely they can't object after that."

Shikamaru had sighed, rubbing the back of his head in exasperation. "Yeah, I see your point and I know I can't convince you otherwise. But the forest is pretty big, and I don't want you getting lost. Take this scroll, just in case, and if you need me, I'll come get you."

Temari had studied the scroll, noticing its familiarity. "Like the chuunin exams, huh?"

"Yeah. Sure. Just like that. Be careful though, please? And don't be so stubborn. If you can't find one, just come back. It's not fun staying out in the forest at night, even if it's safe. Besides, you know your brothers will have my head if anything happens to you. That would be troublesome for me."

"Well, I'll just make sure not to die then."

"Thanks. That's reassuring."

.

And now here she was, crouching in the forest, peering in the dark as the sun finally vanished. After straining her ears for another minute and hearing no possible deer, she decided to venture deeper into the forest, predicting that was where they were hiding.

Soon, she stumbled into a small clearing, the moonlight shining brightly down on her in the area, illuminating the grassy ground and what looked like a mound of fresh dirt.

She stopped at the pile, curious as to its existence. She wondered what the Naras had been doing here, creating such a large hole and then reburying it haphazardly. She could see the unevenness of the rubble where the hole had once been, noticing faint burn marks and residue resembling that of explosives. Perhaps a failed construction attempt? But that seemed unlikely considering the Naras' fondness for nature.

Shrugging to herself, Temari turned to leave, having more important matters to attend to at the present moment.

"Hey! Hey, you there! Can you free me?" A voice suddenly rang out and Temari jumped slightly, startled. She frowned and looked around her quickly, displeased that she had let her guard down and not sensed anyone approaching. And yet, after completing her sweep of the area, she found no one.

"Hey, you ignoring me?" the voice asked, low and muffled. "That's rude, ya know."

Temari blinked, confused. She had pinpointed the source of the voice…and it was coming from the pile of rubble.

"Who's there?" she called out carefully, walking back towards the pile.

The voice was louder this time, though still vague and muffled by layers of dirt. "Oh! Nice! So there is someone up there! Heh, my skills have not gone away."

"Did you get stuck in there?" Temari tensed, preparing for a fight, but the dirt did not move.

"Well, sure, you can put it that way. Got myself into a bit of a fucking mishap. Do you mind freeing me?"

Temari debated it for a moment, wondering if the voice belonged to an enemy. But the Nara's security was tight, and there would have been earlier warnings if the person below the ground was an enemy.

She unfortunately had not brought any digging tools.

"Sorry, I don't think I can dig you out myself," she said. "Just wait here a moment and I'll go back and get Shikamaru to come help."

"Shit! Not that asshole!" More expletives flew out and all Temari could do was stare in stunned silence. There was something about his reaction that bothered her, aside from the badmouthing of Shikamaru, which she thought was more than fair. She tried to recall what Shikamaru had told her about his clan's forest, but came up blank, too surprised to think clearly at the moment.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, okay, look, girly, that guy and I are not on the best of terms. You could call it a sort of misunderstanding."

Temari bristled at his choice of words. "Well, if you want my help, you'll have to accept his help. How did you end up here anyway?"

"Well, that bastard decided to lure me here and bury me, even though all I was doing was enforcing the creed of Jashin, you know! Once I'm out of here, I'm going to cut his damn head off and bury it here and see how he fucking likes it! Shit, did I say all that out loud?"

A faint memory surfaced in her mind, from around the time that Gaara had been kidnapped by the Akatsuki. A tale of a pair of immortal shinobi within the Akatsuki, who had been defeated by Konoha shinobi. She had mostly dismissed it at the time, too wrapped in worrying about Gaara and the political turmoil in Suna.

What had been their names again? Kakuzu and…

"You're Hidan." Something cold passed through her at the realization. She hadn't realized any of the Akatsuki were still alive and wondered why Shikamaru had failed to tell her about it. She would have to have words with him.

"Right you are, girl. Now get me out of here. I haven't eaten in years and I'd like to beat up his smug face. As a treat, ya know? Wait, who are you? You're not a stupid Nara, since you didn't know who I was, and you can't be either of that asshole's two friends."

"Okay, I'm out of here," Temari muttered, more to herself than the buried body. She had heard enough for the night.

"Wait, are you leaving? Come back this instant! How dare you just leave me here, you piece of shit!"

Hidan continued to throw cusses at her even as she walked away.

.

Some time later, after a few more hours of trekking in the forest, Temari exited with a deer following her, nibbling at some apple slices she had received from Yoshino earlier. They made an odd pair, but she was glad the deer, who had seemed braver than his other companions who had immediately skirted away, had left her near him.

Shikamaru was pacing back and forth when she arrived, immediately pausing when he caught sight of her. She could see him visibly stopping himself from running towards her. Instead, he straightened and cleared his throat, pretending to look indifferent. There were a few Nara elders straggling around him, likely waiting for her to fail. At the sight of her with the deer, they gave matching expressions of shock.

"You're safe," Shikamaru said as she approached.

"Of course, I am."

"And you brought a deer." There was something like disbelief in his tone and she scoffed, insulted.

"Did you think I wouldn't? Who do you think I am, Nara?"

"Well…I know you're fearless but you're not exactly the best at…"

She glared at him and he trailed off weakly, "...making friends."

"I'll have you know I am perfectly capable of making friends."

"Okay."

She glared at him again and he changed the subject, "Congratulations though."

He turned to his elders. "See? She's back now. Are you guys pleased now? Can we end this weird feud thing now?"

The elders grumbled, but acquiesced, and, with nothing else to do and no arguments to be made, bid them good night and dispersed. When they were finally alone, Shikamaru frowned at her. "Do you know how late it is, though?"

"A little past midnight," Temari replied, well aware of how late she had been out in the forest. She had to admit part of the reason had been to see his reaction.

"I was just about to send a rescue party after you," he mumbled. "Still, I'm glad you accomplished your task, even though it was completely unnecessary. How was the forest?"

Temari sighed wearily at that. "It was fine, actually. The forest isn't as scary as you make it out to be. But…I did see something quite bizarre."

He raised an eyebrow quizzically at her. She waited patiently for him to connect the dots in his head.

"Oh! Oh. Oh."

"A little warning would have been nice," she said.

"Sorry. He's become a natural part of the forest that I simply forgot."

"Right. The genius Shikamaru 'forgot'."

"I did!" He shook his head, a faint trace of a smile on his face. He put his hand on the deer, rubbing his fur. "Anyway, it's late. Let's let this little guy–"

"Little?!"

Shikamaru smirked. "Oh, did you think this one was a grown adult? He's a little teenager."

"But he's bigger than a coyote!"

"The desert doesn't have many large animals, huh?" Shikamaru said, almost smugly. Temari wanted to wipe that off his face. "Wait until you see some of our larger deer. They'll surprise you."

"I think I'm done with surprises for the night, thanks."

He laughed, a short abrupt sound and Temari found herself laughing along with him. Nearby lights flickered on and someone shouted at them to be quiet. They exchanged amused looks and then headed inside, releasing the deer to return to his family.

.

They were laying on the couch later that night, side by side, staring up at the ceiling in comfortable silence when Shikamaru spoke.

"I would've come for you, you know," he said quietly. "You didn't have to actually, like, talk to him. Or find the deer."

"I know," Temari said simply. "But I had to do this myself. The deer part, I mean, not the Hidan part. I know you don't care what your elders think, but trust me, it will cause trouble later on if I don't earn their respect now. And we all know how much you're against 'troublesome' things."

Shikamaru nodded in understanding. "Still. I'm sorry about the head in the forest."

"...why do you have a creepy immortal head in your backyard, anyway? He was so creepy."

Shikamaru sighed, and then went silent, his face turning serious. Something dangerous flickered in his eyes. "Do you remember Asuma?"

"He was your sensei, right? He was killed in one of the Akatsuki assaults."

"Yeah. Well, after that, I couldn't just let Hidan get away so I devised a plan to trap him."

"Yes, I know that part, but I'm asking, why in the forest? Wasn't there anywhere else to keep a creepy head?"

Shikamaru gave a small chuckle, though it was devoid of humor. "He's there as a reminder. And so we can look after him. There are barely any Sarutobi's left, so I thought it was fitting that the Naras safeguard him. Besides, Konohamaru was still a child back then, and I wasn't about to burden him or Kurenai with this."

"Makes sense," Temari said. There was something sacred, she supposed, about the burden of guarding your immortal enemy.

They were silent after that and Temari wondered if Shikamaru had fallen asleep when he called out, "Hey, Temari?"

She turned to him and saw there was a trace of a mischievous smile on his face and she said, rather uneasily, "Yeah?"

"Does this mean I have to go track down some animal in the desert now?"

She threw a pillow at him.