PART FOUR: REGRET

Chapter Thirteen

| THE LAST CITY, WALL RESIDENCE |

I shut the door to Grey's office. The hallways are empty.

I did it.

I fucked up.

In every possible way.

Now it's over. He's getting someone else to guide her. I wasn't a 'suitable choice.'

Great work Leo. Fantastic. No, really. This is good for me. Why the fuck would I ever want to waste any more of my time trying to teach an incompetent lunatic how to be a Guardian when the only thing she can do is argue and almost get me killed. If there were hive wizards within that cave then who knows what sort of magic they could have tried on Callisto. We aren't invincible, Cayde taught us that. But she wasn't around back then. And still, after all that shit, I'm the one who had to take it up with Grey. I'm the one who gets the blame. Whoopty-fucking doo, ridiculous. She's ridiculous.

Cabal are the enemy. Alien. We shouldn't help them, right? Right?

And yet she wanted to. Fucking naive… she'd never even seen one before.

I'd never step near one of them.

But that legionary from the nest... ended up saving us and letting us go. Without knowing our intentions. It only wanted to exterminate those Hive. What a crazy death wish - it was a suicide, and still, it decided not to bring us with him. Why? I would have thought the Cabal only cared about blood and death? So why did it…? He had to be one of Caiatl's. Are these Cabal different? This is difficult to get through my system.

And why does she care about them? She refuses to even carry a rifle around. Fuck, and I hadn't even considered. She's probably been traumatised. Traveller, if only I had been more serious about this all. Is she okay?

…

"Do you want to go see her?" Callisto charms in from beside me.

"What?"

"The girl."

"- Who said I was thinking about her?"

"She's who that whole argument with Commander Grey was about right? Come on. You were just standing there Leo, of course you're thinking about her."

I take a deep breath.

"We should see her," I decide, walking to elevator. "Where's she being kept?"

"Checking… Number 12. Floor 35."

Gravity is lifted up beneath us and the gentle hum of machinery fills the air. I suddenly felt myself becoming anxious at the idea of seeing her again.

The machine dings at the right floor.

JN-12;35. A holographic projects the text above the door frame in the dark hallway.

I quietly knock. Still trying to decide why I came here.

"Hey. I wanted to check up on you."

Didn't even think twice.

"Or just talk about what happened. Or anything," I continue. "All that adrenaline is making it hard to remember, but it's still there. And it feels like a dream. That fear of death. Not all that common around here, actually. You ran in there, and I didn't know what to do so I just ran in too. But it wasn't me that saved us, I didn't do shit. And I'm sorry. For my failed reaction. For our dumb luck. And for having a broken fucking robot be sent to do a human's job; the job to guide you into this insane fucking life. Maybe you're the only one who's not insane since your first thought was to run after that cabal and help instead of loading a round into the chamber like the rest of us." I take a deep breath. "I haven't met someone like you before. It feels like you're actually human." I scoff.

…

She doesn't respond.

I knock again.

...

Nothing.

Thanks.

My head lightly falls onto the door, but it gives way. It was unlocked.

Slowly, I edge it open. "Hello?"

The room is revealed to me as the door swings inward. It was still bare. Usually there are decorations everywhere to commemorate a Guardian as they go through the healing process with their ghost. Thank you notes, letters, flowers etc. But not here. No items on the walls, the tables and shelves were empty. Of course, no one would have visited her, she's unknown to the city. But here I am. And there she was. Sitting on the window cill. Leaning up against the glass, with a full view of the city. Eyes closed.

Her ghost hovers up from a spot on the cill beside her. "She's been hoping you might stop by," he whispers. "She kept the door like that just in case, but fell asleep before you got here. It took her a while - I've only recently finished mending all of the wounds. And last night she didn't sleep at all. Not after what happened in the Plaguelands. So please don't wake her."

I found myself stumbling over my words. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"She says it wasn't your fault. Blames herself, actually. I couldn't stop her, and by the traveller I tried. But then again, you left your weapon on the hillside, ran in, and completely lost yourself. In my eyes, she was the one who almost got us all killed but you both had me terrified. You're supposed to be a Guardian, Leo. A Soldier of Humanity. How could you freeze like that? I thought… I thought Guardians were different. But now, I don't know. I don't know if I believe the stories anymore…"

The air in the room was still.

He continues. "But I heard everything you said. And back in those tunnels, as idiotic as it was… you actually went after her? You knew you didn't have a weapon and still ran in after her? Into a hive nest. You knew the dangers of that. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my Guardian. So soon after finding her. She still needs to find her way… That was brave of you."

Again, I didn't respond.

"You should rest. Your wounds aren't finished being healed by Callisto. That jacket can deceive Commander Grey, but not me. I hope you're not in pain. You look tired. So unbelievably tired, even for an Exo." His eye looks away for a moment. "And your meeting with him; I can tell it didn't go well. I'm sorry, Leo… I don't know if you want to see her again after this. But I'll let her know you stopped by. You should go." He hovers back toward her. "I'll be getting some sleep as well."

"Ghosts… sleep?"

"Nope." And with that final statement, he rests down into her lap and shuts off his light, leaving only the bloom of the distant city lights to illuminate the unnamed girl on the window cill. I wanted to thank her, at least. She had waited for me in this cold, wrapped under that one blanket of hers.

The image of her sparks a memory. Of something she had said to me…

But I should leave.

…

On my way out, I turn around. "Ghost, when she wakes, let her know that I finally came up with a name she might like:…"

The Story Continues... 14/09/22