Minerva McGonagall strode down the halls, her robes whipping around her nearly as fast as Severus Snape's tended to on a regular basis. She wanted to catch the Weasley twins before they got down to talk with Severus. Because she was a Gryffindor, yes, but she was also a teacher. And she knew, deep in the bottom of her heart, that Snape hadn't actually talked with the twins first.

"Mister and Mister Weasley! A moment please." She called, her commanding voice calling across the long hall like it might in a battle.

Gallivanting a turn, the Twins took one look at her - and looked particularly fearful. So that's how they'll pay it. Perhaps I ought to just have invited them to tea? "Oh, no, ma'am! We're late for detention as it is!" They capered down the hall as if they were goats, twisting one student's tie, twirling a girl in an attempted jig.

"Brandy?" Severus Snape offered to the twins. They looked at each other, as if they suspected a trap. And well they should, Snape thought coldly. When wasn't a Slytherin gift a trap of one kind or another?

"We'd love some sir,"

"It's just we like fresh air more -"

"So not if it comes at the cost of more detentions!"

"I don't think you'll have to worry about those from me for some time." Snape said with a smirk.

"Are you going on holiday?"

"A sabbatical?"

"To a belfry perhaps?" Snape's mouth turned down at the hidden reference to a vampire. It was not funny (mostly because it was so unreasonable, and hence meant that his students were complete idiots).

"A family matter." Snape said shortly, knowing that he was in for something ... interesting.

"Is it a mother?"

"Or a father?"

"Did you spring out of the ground?"

"Do you have sisters?"

"Could we meet them please?"

The twins exchanged a look, "You don't have children, then?"

"We wouldn't want you as a father!"

"Because you know you'd see the side of a paddle way too often for comfort, no doubt." The twins were a capering nuisance, but they were a smart one, and his disciplinarian side would have not taken well to the two pranksters. Not that they knew he had any other sides.

"I have a proposal for you, that needs to be kept under strictest secrecy."

"Our lips are sealed!" And the other twin mimed locking his lips and then eating the key. Severus Snape forbore to point out the contradiction.

Snape said skeptically, "Lives depend on it." Mine more than yours, perhaps.

The Weasley twins shared a look and simply nodded at him. Snape reflected, It wasn't as if they didn't know how to be serious, they just rarely chose to be.

"In such business arrangements it is customary to share brandy first. It lubricates the negotiations."

The twins nodded, picking up the brandy, and Severus Snape was far from displeased to see them running spells across the liquid, ensuring that it was just as said.

The twins had the glasses nearly to their mouths, when Prof. Snape spoke. "You forgot to check the glasses."

The twins exchanged a frenetic look - the sort that said this single sentence was creating an entire product line.

Snape smirked, "A gift, if you will. A display of cunning and a guarantee that I make this deal in earnest."

The twins didn't actually spell the glasses before drinking. Snape waited until they had finished before drinking his own, swirling the last of it contemplatively.

"As I've said, I am leaving the school temporarily. However, I have certain obligations that need to be upheld, whether or not I am here."

The twins looked at each other, then pleadingly looked at him, "Please don't make us run Slytherin House, Br'er Rabbit!"

Hm. That was almost cunning. Snape, in return, hid a wince and said in tones of utmost certainty, "You will never run Slytherin House." Not only would it happen over his dead body, the Malfoys (elder and junior) would both throw a fit, and they were on the Board!

Snape continued, "I have a potion to brew monthly. I am the only person capable of brewing it." A look of consternation crossed the twins faces. If he needed something, but was the only person to be able to do it... what exactly did this have to do with them? The look changed to excited, because this promised to be more interesting than a bit of potion brewing.

"I believe, with proper application, that you two, together, will be capable of brewing it. Your magics harmonize particularly well - even for twins. And thus a potion that is well above your current skill, each and alone, is one that you can proficiently brew together."

Snape continued to swirl the brandy residue in his glass. "So, I've told you what I need. Are you interested in providing it?"

"Potentially." One twin said.

"Absolutely!" The other echoed.

"What's in it for us?" The first said.

"Well, to start out with, there is the safety of the school, and the pleasure of ensuring it yourself." The twins exchanged a look between them. So much for Gryffindors' self-righteous dogooderism.

"That would attract two Gryffindors' agreement, woudln't it?" Oh, yes, he was going to make them beg. Not that the Weasley twins minded losing all dignity.

"Surely a Slytherin such as yourself had more in mind than just that?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. I noticed this weekend that you seemed rather enamored of one of my offhand comments." The twins looked on, steadily. They did know quiet, and kept it, when it was necessary. Sadly, it was their gift to know when it wasn't necessary, not particularly when it was.

"I may have a few improvements and suggestions to add to your evergrowing list of "Things Students, and Especially Weasleys, Should Never Do Again." " Snape smirked, "Of course, you'd have to actually do them in order to get them added to that list."

"We have a list?"

"Yes." Snape said, looking faintly puzzled, "I thought you knew? Filch keeps it."

"We'll have to investigate!" The twins looked half as if they'd rather just run over there now. Luckily, they had more presence of mind than that.

"Bargain accepted. We'll hold to our end, you'll hold to yours."

"Or the stick'll break in the middle, and fireworks will pour out!"

"One more thing, before we go..."

"What's the potion?"

"Wolfsbane. And you aren't leaving your detention until you know it nearly blindfolded and deaf." Snape fondly entertained a quick fantasy of being deaf in his own classroom, unable to hear the pesky Ravenclaws asking derailing questions.

Together, they got to work.

[a/n: another story the twins are in. I officially hate writing them, and they show up everywhere!

If you have any suggestions as to how I can write the twins better, please, please review!

I like reviews, please leave more.]