It took almost a month before Steve ran into Eddie again. He'd just gotten off of work and was walking home when he caught a glimpse of a familiar head of curls bobbing in the crowded parking lot.

At first Eddie didn't even make eye contact when Steve walked in his direction. Then, when they finally made eye contact, Eddie looked like he was searching for an escape route. He had no idea what had changed between the two of them, but it was clear Eddie wasn't interested in chatting today. Something felt off.

"Hey," Steve offered tentatively.

"Hey," Eddie barely said back.

"Everything ok? Haven't seen you in weeks."

Eddie shrugged, "I can't eat ice cream exclusively."

Yup, something was up, and something was definitely wrong.

"Well, I'll see you around…" There was a twinge of sadness in Eddie's normally glittering brown eyes. It made Steve's heart ache thinking it was possible he was responsible for whatever was bothering Eddie. They weren't particularly close, but they were close enough. And they'd confessed their shared secret to one another, didn't that mean something? Didn't it mean Eddie could trust him?

"Do you wanna talk?" Steve offered.

"About?"

"About why you're avoiding me."

"I'm not," Eddie lied, "I've been busy."

"Did you get the band back together?"

Eddie blushed, "No."

There was a pause and then Steve asked, "Is it because of what I said, when you came out to me?"

"No." Eddie locked eyes with him again, if only briefly.

"I appreciate you telling me," Steve said, "Honestly, you're the first person I've told. And I'm sorry for the way your dad acted, that wasn't cool of him."

"My dad's an asshole," Eddie was staring blankly at the pavement, tapping his tattered Converse nervously, "We can't do this, Steve."

"We're just talking, Eddie. We're friends, friends talk, no?"

"I meant…" Eddie let out a long sigh, "Look, Harrington. You're just figuring all of this out, ok? I don't want you falling head over heels for me because I was available, you and I both deserve someone who wasn't just a matter of circumstance."

"Wha-what are you talking about? Wait, have you been avoiding me because you didn't want me to have the hots for you?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. And I totally would be down for us if things were different, but they're not. I'm a good-for-nothing drug dealer, you're on the up 'n up. I'm sorry if I was leading you on by showing up all the time, I just…" the twinge of sadness passed over his face again and Eddie shook his head, bowing it toward the ground so his hair fell over his face.

"Eddie, I work at a goddamn mall food court booth. Whatever reputation proceeds me is bullshit. I was a horrible boyfriend to Nancy, I've been a prick most of my life, and I'm honestly so tired of everyone thinking I have my shit together because I don't. The best thing I did was let Dustin and his friends crash at my place when they needed to. I've tried to do right by those kids, no one else has. Well, except you."

"Do you even like me like that?" Eddie stared at him.

"I do," Steve said earnestly, "I really do. I didn't see it like that until you stopped coming around, and then I missed you. But I get it, if you're not ready."

"We could never be… open, with anyone."

"We could be open with some people, the people who truly matter. When was the last time you were back in Hawkins anyway? I'm sure there are some people who would love to see you. And not everyone is judgmental."

"I don't think anyone wants to see me. All I am in Hawkins is a dropout and low life."

"You talked about going back and graduating, right?"

Eddie nodded, "But then I spent a year in rehab after all the shit that went down, and it just never happened. Wayne moved a couple of towns over to keep us mostly out of the public eye until the news hullabaloo blew over. I hadn't been back this way until the first time I was at the mall… I spent a whole year learning how to write my name again, I don't think I'm cut out for school…" A tear rolled down Eddie's cheek and Steve instinctively wiped it away with his thumb.

"Hey, it's ok," Steve murmured, "I didn't know you were in rehab. Where are you parked, should we sit in the car?"

Eddie nodded and started walking toward his parking space. He stopped in front of a bright orange Pinto and looked over at Steve, "You don't have to sit with me, I can just go. I'm fine."

Steve shook his head, "It's ok." Sliding into the passenger seat he gently poked the fluffy dice hanging from the rearview so they swung ever so slightly.

Eddie shuffled into the driver's seat and looked over at Steve, "Sorry I can't offer you a smoke, I was sort of forced to quit during my physio and I just never started again."

"Probably for the best, eh?"

Eddie shrugged, "Sorry for breaking down on you like that, I'm really ok."

"It's fine, I'm glad you're ok. And I'm sorry I didn't know about you being in rehab, honestly, I didn't know what happened to you, we all thought you were dead."

Eddie scoffed, "A little head wound ain't gonna kill me."

They were quiet for a second until Eddie looked over at Steve and his gaze was softened.

"So what now?"

"I don't know," Eddie said, "I'm sorry assumed you were into me, by the way. But I am glad that you are, that's a relief. Well, it is and it isn't."

He reaches over and turns the radio on, and Steve notices for the first time how shaky his hand is.

Eddie catches Steve staring, "Lost all my fine motor skills on my right side. But I'm working on it, I'm loads better than I was."

"I'm sorry," Steve says, and then it dawns on him, "What about your guitar?"

"You mean the love of my life, the most expensive thing I own? Can't play for peanuts. Not to mention, it got destroyed, so even if I could, I can't play it."

Even though Eddie's tone was attempting to sound jokey, tears were threatening to fall again. Steve wanted more than anything to lean over the console and wrap him in a bear hug, but he just didn't feel comfortable doing that. Not yet anyway.

"I'm sorry, Eds, really." Without thinking he reached over and patted Eddie's knee, which he immediately wished he hadn't done. It was the second time he'd made a personal gesture toward him today, and he was trying to follow Eddie's lead here.

Eddie wiped at his eyes with his denim sleeve and then turned up the radio, Metallica's "Fight Fire With Fire" blasted out, filling in the awkward silence that would have otherwise flooded the car.

"You want a ride home?"

Steve nodded hesitantly. He was embarrassed to admit he didn't have a car, he couldn't afford rent and gas. He also really didn't want Eddie to see his shithole of an apartment, but he knew Eddie wasn't one to judge.

"Where to?"

"Over in the Hamilton complex," Steve said, "It's not much, but at least I still have a couch for Henderson to crash on when he's home from college."

"Better than a single wide," Eddie mused before starting the car.

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Steve leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. If he let his mind wander, sitting in Eddie's passenger seat would be a regular occurrence. He'd look over and stare into Eddie's eyes at a red light. They'd drive around town together and pull over to watch the sunset, and go to get ice cream at the diner, or see a movie at the drive-in…

When he opened his eyes as they pulled into the parking lot of his complex, Eddie was staring blankly ahead, and Steve realized that his fantasy was never going to be a reality. He couldn't subject Eddie, or himself, to the lonely lifestyle that would be their reality if they got together. Drive-in movies and ice cream dates would never happen, people would stare, or worse.

"Thanks for the ride," he said hurriedly, popping the door lock so he could get out.

Eddie nodded with a smile, "Anytime, Steve. See you around?"

Steve nodded back and climbed out before he could give into the gremlin voice telling him to lay a kiss on Eddie's perfectly pink lips.

"See you around," Steve called over his shoulder before disappearing into his building. It wasn't until he stepped foot in his apartment that he realized he was still wearing his work uniform.