for those wondering about my last Toby story I fixed the inconsistency of Toby being asleep on the pavement all night and happy would obviously be wondering where he was thank you Margaret Gautier for pointing that out(:
I do not own Scorpion or any of its characters
enjoy!(:
Sweat stained a gray t-shirt and soft white sheets. Restlessness sat in the air as he tossed and turned under the moonlight that leaked into the room.
Happy sensed uneasiness and fear as she awoke and looked over from her side of the bed.
A sheen layer of sweat sat on Toby's skin as he fussed in his sleep. Her heart sank to her feet with worry and empathy.
"Toby.", she said softly as she touched his shoulder.
He quickly opened his eyes and jumped as his breath heaved in and out.
"It was just a nightmare.", she swiftly said as he calmed down.
She ran her hand gently through his hair as his breath steadied.
They both sat forward as Happy wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck, her hands sitting on his chest.
He trembled only slightly as he closed his eyes for a moment and sighed.
"What was it about?", she asked in a tender whisper.
Toby looked up at the moonlit window that cut through the night with a calming glow. His shaky hand touched hers as he looked back down.
"Collins.", he replied quietly.
Happy didn't know what she'd expected him to say but she was slightly surprised. After being kidnapped he didn't seem off or very affected by the events too much. It had been a little while and he barely mentioned it in fact. Suddenly she felt pretty stupid at the idea that he would be just fine after something like that.
"I'm sorry.", she whispered.
He shook his head in a way that said it's not your fault.
Happy rested her chin on his shoulder as they sat in the room that lay so still.
"Wanna go for a ride?", she asked as she looked at him with care.
He smirked softly with a nod.
A few pairs of pants and one motorcycle later, the two wide awake souls rode quietly through the sleeping city.
The warm Los Angeles air whirled passed them as Happy started to slow down. She stopped in the parking lot of 'HAROLDS 24HR DINER.'
A few minutes later the pair sat in a red booth. Their jackets layed on the seat and two steaming cups of coffee were placed on the ring stained table.
As close as they were Happy was never good at consoling or emotional stability. Toby saw her internal nervousness of making sure he was okay but not knowing how.
"Happy I'm fine stop worrying. It was just a nightmare and it was bound to happen with the missions we go on. Come on let's get some pie and forget the whole thing.", said Toby sweetly.
Happy cocked her head as she looked at him. How did he always read her mind? She wished they could switch skillsets for a second so she could tell if he was being honest.
"Okay.", she said with hesitation deciding to humor him.
Soon enough there was a plate of crumbs and a mystic sunrise peaking up behind the horizon.
A week later gave five days of restless nights. A sleep deprived Toby begged a very worried Happy to keep the problem quiet.
Every night consisted of his futile attempt of sleeping until he'd toss and turn with a face of fear. He thanked the stars every time he roughly awoke to see her still asleep. Though little did he know she often watched him sleep before she had to close her eyes. And when he layed awake staring out the window that guided moonlight onto the carpet and up to the sheets, she saw his eyes that she sensed were holding it all in.
His exhausted words were becoming less and less convincing every time he told her he had it under control. He thanked the divine intervention for the very uneventful week. Every person was focused on their personal projects as they often did while he just tried not to fall asleep at his desk.
Toby caught Happys eye amidst her tinkering as he waved her over with a suppressed look of desperation. She followed him to the back with worry but trying to act inconspicuous to the team.
"Happy you have to help me I feel myself slipping.", he said as he rung his shaky hands through his hair and down his worn out face.
She had no idea what to do as she prayed her instincts would kick in. The normal safeness and calm she found in his eyes was gone now and it scared her.
All she could think to do was pull him in as his scared breathing was muffled in her shoulder.
"Don't let me fall asleep.", he said with fearful panic. Happy wasn't sure but she thought she caught a glimmer of a distressed tear in his eye.
"Doc...we gotta tell someone. I get it but you can't last much longer.", she said carefully as she stroked his hair.
"Just give it a little longer please. They'll end soon.", he asked with more vulnerability than he'd ever let her see.
She nodded in reluctant agreeance as they proceeded to go back to their own desks.
The day ticked by slowly, every minute seeming like days in Toby's worn desperate mind. He watched the clock with bloodshot eyes that he didn't dare blink for fear they wouldn't open again and the malicious dreams would return.
Happy looked up as she had been every few minutes or so to make sure his eyes were still open. His eyes were closed this time and his mouth hung open with his head sitting in his hand that was starting to slip. She quickly concocted a spitball cannon as she landed one perfectly between his eyes. Toby nearly fell out of his chair as his eyes shot open.
The team looked over, curious at the small ruckus.
"Slipped.", he said with an awkward nervous laugh.
They shrugged it off as he looked at Happy mouthing a very sincere 'thank you'. She replied with a soft sweet smile.
The tick of the frighteningly slow taunting clock was all that he could comprehend of his increasingly fuzzy surroundings. Somehow the morning had turned into mid afternoon despite Toby's theory of the universe conspiring against him to slow down time.
"It's 1:30, your turn to get lunch Happy.", said Walter.
Her heart wavered with worry as she realized he was right. But now she looked across at Toby who's eyelids just looked heavy. Dark rings painted his undereyes and the day wasn't even half over.
"Fine, Kovelsky's okay?", asked Happy trying to talk loud enough to break Toby's trance. It didn't work.
"Sounds good to me, I'll have chicken picatta if it's not too much trouble. Ooh and some new york cheese cake...I eat when I'm bored.", said Sylvester with his typically sweet smile.
"Yeah get me a philly cheesesteak.", said Cabe who was cleaning up a spilled drop of coffee.
Paige looked up from her paperwork at him with a raised eyebrow.
"What?".
"And you wonder why you have high blood pressure. Happy at least get him a salad. I'll take one too.", said Paige.
"Alright alright.", said Cabe with a smirk.
"You know normally for efficiency I'd request my usual fermented fish, but ever since our mission last week to the italian consolate I have had an unusual craving for spaghetti and meat balls.", said Walter from his desk.
"Okay so chicken plus cake, two salads, spaghetti and Toby what about you?", asked Happy nervously.
Toby said nothing as he stared at the book in front of him with glassy eyes. The books only current use being a prop for his act of pretending to actually be doing something. His vision was one hazy shade of brown and grey. He vaguely wondered if his eyes were even still open but eventually came to the conclusion that they had to be because Collins wasn't there and he could still hear the incessant ticking of the clock. At this point he truly couldn't decide which was worse, staying awake in a state that tired doesn't even recognize, or giving into sleep just to be immersed in visions so frightening his exhausted body shuddered at their memory. All 206 of his bones ached with heavy defeat as gravity painfully pulled at his body. This had to be what it felt like to be dying he said within his fuzzy thoughts.
"Toby?", said Paige who was a little closer than Happy.
He looked up seeing eyes on him as his now nervous heart dropped. He quickly searched his subconcious for any bits or pieces of the conversation.
"Happy wants to know what you want from Kovelsky's.", she continued.
"Oh uh i'm not really hungry.", he replied honestly.
"But you haven't eaten all day, you should have something.", said Paige.
"Yeah you look pale.", said Cabe casually.
"You're not sick are you because I touched your coffee mug this morning and I feel a little tickle in my throat.", said Sylvester like a true hypochondriac.
"Will ya leave me alone no i'm not sick, i'll take a hamburger Happy. Oh and a cup of coffee.", said Toby straightening up doing his best to look normal.
"Like you need more coffee, you've already made two pots today.", said Walter not bothering to look up from his paperwork.
Toby just rolled his eyes as he ran his frustrated hands through his messy ruffled hair.
Happy reluctantly disappeared out the door leaving a sleepy Toby to fend for himself. But that prospect was looking grim in the peaceful garage. Drowsy dust floated inside the soothing sun rays that danced softly in through the window landing warmly on Toby's back. He folded his arms on the desk as he rested his head in his sleeves.
"I'm wide awake. Not even thinking about sleep. It's under control.", said Toby in his head as his eyelids started to droop shut. His eyebrows lifted up trying desperately to open them back up but it was no use.
A few minutes drifted by as Paige looked up from her computer screen giving her eyes a break. They landed on Toby giving her a chuckle at his sleeping state.
"What's so funny?", asked Sylvester.
"Toby fell asleep.", she replied pointing.
"Hmm yes. The inefficiency of falling asleep while on the clock is hilarious.", said Walter sarcastically as he looked over at Toby. Despite the comment, he secretly wondered if he had been asking too much of Toby or pushing him too hard lately. His low EQ shrugged the thought away.
Just as all the eyes drifted away from Toby's sleeping form, they were brought back by a small shuffle and almost unhearable whimper.
They were curious at the small agitation but almost simotaneously decided to look away. Another similar sound was heard from the same sleeping team member as his eyebrows creased against his forehead creating lines of what looked like fear.
The group looked at each other and back at Toby with slightly curious concern.
The doctor shuffled in his seat as his breathing quickened, his expression of fear even more evident now.
The team sat there taken completely off guard now without a clue how to handle the situation, but more so feeling confused worry for their friend.
Suddenly a blood curdling scream came from the sweating friend that they didn't recognize. His body trembled harshly as his breath was heavy mixing with unconcious tears.
Just then in came Happy. Her eyes widened as she swiftly threw the food on the table as she ran over to Toby.
The group sat with widened eyes and shaken bodies at the horrific scene that had broken the peaceful afternoon.
"Toby!", she said trying to shake him out of it.
After a few more seconds than she cared for, his red weary eyes opened with pure fear.
It only took a split second for him to process the scene as Happy put her hands on his cheeks. He closed his eyes trying to ground himself to reality trying futiely not to tremble. His shaky breath tried so hard to steady while a few unstoppable tears escaped his watery eyelashes.
"I can't take it anymore Happy w-what do I do?", he said with shaken desperation, not currently registering the audience they had.
"I'm right here, I won't leave again and we'll figure this out together.", she said in whisper just loud enough for the team to hear bits and pieces.
"Toby", started Sylvester.
"Sorry guys everything's fine Happy and I just have to get some air.", Toby said quickly standing up and heading for the door.
"Toby wait! What just happened?", demanded Walter.
Toby looked at Happy hoping she could think of a good lie faster than him.
The group all looked at them with unwavering glares of concerned and confused curiosity.
Happy looked from them to Toby feeling that maybe they could help. She prayed they could. "Toby maybe you should-".
"No I-I don't see the big deal here can we go?", he asked with a look on his face quite foreign to them.
"Whatever it is maybe we can help?", said Paige.
Toby just shook his head and looked down with a sigh. "No you can't.".
"Toby what is going on?", asked Walter again this time with even more demand.
"Walter please you don't understand.".
"Then explain it!".
"I can't.".
"Why not?!", said an increasingly agitated Walter.
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO! I don't want to tell you that Collins is in my head! That every time I close my eyes he haunts my dreams until I just can't take it anymore and I'm awake again just to be away from him but then it's like I'm so tired I just want to sleep but when I do I'm not really sleeping and he's there to keep me awake in my mind and...". Toby slowed down as he realized his fingers were gripping his head and his chest heaved in and out with trembling tears that sat waiting to fall. The entire team looked at him including Happy with wide eyes.
"I-I'm sorry I just...", stuttered Toby who steadily calmed down.
The exhaustion showed so evidently now they collectively wondered how they hadn't seen it before. Beneath very weary red rimmed eyes dripped raven rings of sleepless nights. His body hung like it was begging to meet the floor and a non-physical look in his eyes showed equal amounts of terror and wearied desperation.
He was finally too worn to keep the tears at bay as they trickled silently down his cheeks. He looked over at Happy softly cupping her cheek in his hand. "Happy I'm so sorry.". The words were heartbreakingly genuine as he closed his eyes with shame.
She looked at him with surprise feeling his honest vulnerabilty for the first time. She carefully slipped her fingers into his hair as she pulled him to her heart. His arms wrapped around her looking for safety that she gladly provided.
"You were kidnapped and we just acted like it was another mission. You just acted so okay I guess we thought you were. We never even knew what happened in that warehouse. I'm so sorry Toby I don't know if we can ever apologize enough.", said Paige feeling a deep guilt that weighed her heart down to her stomach.
Toby took a moment to gather himself as he looked at his friends with a sigh. "Thanks you guys it's really okay I don't even care about that I just really want to go to sleep.".
They could see in his eyes how true that was.
"Well then go ahead, we'll be right here.", said Walter in a surprising calm kind voice.
"Just try.", said Sylvester with a soft smile.
He could've argued with them about how it wouldn't work and that he'd just end up waking up screaming or something but he decided he was much too tired to put up a fight and it was worth a try anyway. He shrugged with a hopeful sigh as he sat on the couch. He pulled his pastel navy blue sweatshirt off the cushion and slid it over his thin t-shirt and bony torso.
He layed his head down with a mixture of nervous fear and overwhelming relief. His form sunk into the couch with worried hesitation that they could see from a mile away.
His eyelids unwillingly closed before he had a chance to change his mind. Sleepy tears sat in the corners of his red eyes, reflecting against the hazy sunlight. Those same sun rays kissed his head with warm tender intent, their colors mixed with his cinnamon colored tufts making them appear like burnt tuscan flames.
"Sleep sweet Toby.", said Paige quietly.
The slow afternoon drifted by without a sound made or a fidget from the dark burgundy couch. A blanket appeared over him at some point as the light outside grew dim. A muted red sun drifted lazily into the drowsy garage.
Any work that needed to be done had been finished hours ago as quiet steps walked the worn gray floor and silent cards were dealt on the coffee stained desk.
The red sun rays melted into blue moonlight as Toby layed still in the hazy midnight luminescence.
A sense of peaceful ease eminated from The resting doctor giving the group of worried friends a calming resolution.
Happy sat close to him wanting to sneek in next to him or at the very least run her hands through his hair and down his neck like she had so many times before. But her fear of waking him up was too great and she was content on just watching him sleep. To see him finally feeling safe and after what felt like far too long to be sleeping soundly was more than the word relief described. She didn't know how tightly bound her heart had been until she felt it unwravel at the sight of his closed eyelids.
Only now did she realize how tired she herself was. Before she knew it her heavy eyes were drooping closed. She smiled softly at the blurry Toby before finally letting her eyelids shut.
"Goodnight.".