Author's Note: Welcome to the tenth-anniversary piece of the Fallen City series. I decided to keep this simple and just take a trip through Allen's mind. Needless to say, it's not a pretty picture. It's going to get worse this season. You are going to have to stick around and see. I will see you Friday in Death and All of his Friends. For now, enjoy this anniversary special.
Ramblings
-Allen-
I used to have beautiful wings. She took them from me. Now, look at me. My wings are gone. My body is covered in scars. I can see my bones through my skin. My right eye is starting to ache as well. To make things worse, I have Aizen crawling around in my bed. It's too dangerous to cut him out.
I think I'm going crazy. I can't tell what's real anymore. Some days I think I hear the voices of my friends. But that can't be right, can it?
I started laughing to myself.
Is this what I have become? Just a husk of myself driven by lust. No, this isn't me. This isn't who I am.
But it is.
It's kind of funny really. My light used to be so bright. Now it's dimmed. It's faded. I used to be beautiful. I don't even recognize my own face anymore. My skin looked so stretched and tightened. I'm amazed that I am still here.
Yes, I am still here for some reason. But I am slipping away. I don't think Allen Walker will be around for too long. I would just be a mindless plaything. Aizen is destroying everything that I am. I don't know what to do anymore.
Am I laughing again? Maybe I'm crying. It's hurt to tell. That's not going to stop her from trying new things with me. She wants to experiment on me. She's tried everything in her room. Needles, razors, knives, fire, rope, ice, thorns, and various sex toys. She tends to get creative. But lately, she's gotten bored.
That only means one thing.
Why does this turn me on? No! I'm not like that!
Yes, you are.
There was something that I had to do. Yes. I had to do something. But I can't remember what it was. I just know it was important. What was it?
I can't stay here.
I have to get out of here. But where am I supposed to go? I'm supposed to be going somewhere. I do can't remember. I'm not even sure if I want to leave. But I have to go. I can't stay here. Wait…
I just heard the door open just now. Why am I getting hard again? I think she's coming back.