Present
Itachi is the first to admit that his strength and stamina are not exactly equivalent. After over a year of tests, tubes, experimental treatments, and surgeries, he's only just been cleared to come back to the field, and of course, the first thing the Hokage does is send him out on a long term tracking mission. Honestly, he's not even sure why he, of all people, has been selected. An Aburame or Hyuuga probably would have been a better fit, in Itachi's opinion, but who is he to question the whims of the Yondaime?
His eye twitches.
A very cold, wet, irritated jounin, that's who. Itachi growls in frustration as more freezing cold rain drips down the collar of his cloak while he backtracks for what must be the hundredth time that week. This Gin person (Kakashi, now, apparently?) definitely knows he's being followed, and Itachi genuinely can't tell if he's really so canny that he can leave behind a trail just imperceptible enough that only the Sharingan can pick up on it, or if he's unintentionally leading Itachi in circles.
Itachi is more than willing to bet on the latter, but… Gin had taken down two Akatsuki members completely by himself. Immortal Akatsuki members had nearly put Shisui in the ground, not a month prior to Hidan's death. And sure, this Gin person had attacked them both separately instead of head-on, but that was just the thing. Shisui, for all his strength, intelligence, and cunning, hadn't been able to figure out how to force them apart; let alone allow himself the time to collect them piece by piece and turn them into the bounty hunting offices.
Itachi very carefully retraces his steps, catching a minuscule notch out of a tree three meters to his left after about thirty meters back, and immediately changes direction, following the new trail carefully. It's even fainter than the last one, and if Itachi doesn't keep his pace he's going to lose the man in this damn rain.
Itachi suppresses another shiver as a fat droplet of water hits him right in the forehead.
It's absurd. The man is a ghost. Shinobi like this don't just appear out of thin air, and Itachi had his suspicions just the same as the Hokage. Someone had to have been hiding Gin somewhere. Training, conditioning, and cultivating a shinobi so lethal that they would eliminate the need for international interference whatsoever. Someone with an agenda that directly opposed the potential armistice of the villages, but still wanted to keep Konohagakure's reputation as the most powerful village intact.
All Itachi needs is one word from the man. Obito had described him as charismatic, witty, and somewhat stunted. Awkward pauses when he did not know what to say, indecision around his name.
(And is that his name? Kakashi? Or is it something he had been given to throw away later? Identities so stained with blood that names fade away to numbers and personalities that shatter like porcelain masks.)
Itachi doesn't know - not yet - but he'll be damned if he lets this mystery go unsolved.
Freezing on a sturdy branch, his Sharingan swirls in apprehension. The trail Itachi is following has started to circle back, so he immediately changes his direction. There's prickling at the base of his spine, and Itachi freezes.
"You know, as a clan, all you Uchiha really do seem to have the skills to back up the rumors."
As a tracker, there are many things you should do in order to successfully tail your target. Two, however, stand out above the rest:
Never allow your target to see you.
Never allow your target to catch you from behind.
He'd broken both cardinal rules, and Itachi had a feeling he wasn't walking away from this unscathed.
"All rumors must have some basis, Shinobi-san," Itachi responds tonelessly, muscles forcibly tensed and straining.
"Maa, I suppose that's true," the voice drawls from behind, pressure alleviating from his back. "Then I suppose you've heard the ones about little old me?"
"Several," Itachi says, slowly telegraphing his movements as he turns around. When the voice doesn't contradict him, he draws his shoulders in tighter. "Though I can't decide whether or not to believe them yet."
The shinobi seems to digest this, nodding his head absentmindedly and dropping cross-legged onto a branch across the small gap.
"I hope you don't mind my saying, Uchiha-san, but your clan seems to share one fatal flaw," he drawls, cleaning his ear with a pinky.
"Oh?" Itachi responds, tensing as he scans the area for traps.
He doesn't see anything, even with his Sharingan.
"Mhm," the man agrees, flicking out the underside of his nails.
"And what would that be?" Itachi presses, chakra flaring in response to what appears to be a sharp grin under the mask.
Dangerous.
"Your curiosity becomes you, Uchiha-san," the shinobi replies, lackadaisical. "But really, it would be hypocritical of me to fault you for it. Your cousin is a very fascinating man. Did you know he had not only the Yondaime but one of the legendary Sannin as his senseis? Truly, someone to remember."
Itachi can feel it; the ice racing down his spine and vibrating his fingertips. This man knows things, dangerous things.
"But then, you're plenty interesting yourself, Uchiha-san," the shinobi says, looking him dead in the eyes. "Graduating from the academy at only ten years of age, despite the restrictions set by the Hokage himself. Not to mention Chunin no more than four months later. Your clan must have been frothing at the mouth to get you out there. Perhaps for more than one reason…"
He knew.
That was the only thought that raced through Itachi's mind as he readied his Sharingan, determined to eliminate the threat before it could truly become one.
"Easy there, little raven. You don't want to start something you don't know if you can finish. And besides; I doubt the Yondaime would be happy with you if we were to, say, start an international incident. Iwa is rather territorial, you know."
The Shinobi gives an absolutely infuriating eye smile, not so much as humoring Itachi's ready stance.
"You are unnervingly arrogant for a man who has never met me, Kakashi-san." Itachi intones, fighting to keep his voice steady.
"Oh! The little bird has done his research! And he's so polite!" the shinobi chirps, slipping a bright orange novel out from… somewhere and thumbing it open. "Tell me, do I live up to all your expectations?
Was that-?
"I'm afraid I simply haven't had ample time to decide," Itachi responds instinctively, mind reeling slightly. "Perhaps we could discuss some things, and then I will be able to come to a solid conclusion."
"Mmm, I'll pass. But thanks," the man responds, flipping a page and reclining back on the tree. "You see, Yui-chan just got rescued by Daiki-san, and now she has to, well…" he trails off with a blush and a giggle, one hand coming up to cover his masked mouth. "This is probably a bit much for a little raven like yourself. Why don't you fly on back to your nest and sing like a good little birdy?"
More irritation crests in Itachi's mind as the man has the audacity to sit there and ignore him, giggling along to his perverse little fantasy novel. Perhaps it's unwise, but Itachi can't help himself but to snap at the man.
"You think it wise to ignore a threat who is so blatantly monitoring you?" he pushes, internally wincing.
Shisui has said on multiple occasions that his pride will get him killed, and Itachi has a feeling maybe his cousin wasn't so wrong after all.
"Hmm, I suppose that depends, little bird," the shinobi responds, tilting his head and giving him a lazy once-over. "Are you a threat to me, Uchiha Itachi?"
Itachi was never quite sure where the saying 'fight or flight' came from, as so many people seemed to latch onto the third, unspoken option. Certainly, Itachi freezes when his name leaves the other man's mouth; the menace in the air hanging so thick he could choke on it. Swallowing, it takes all of Itachi's concentration to respond.
"To some, yes. Perhaps not to someone like yourself, however."
His voice doesn't shake, but it does crack in the middle. Maybe he'll just count that as his win for the day.
The opposing Shinobi just snorts, snapping his book closed and standing. "I do actually have a question for you, little bird."
Itachi takes half a step backwards, ignoring the flash of amusement in Kakashi's eye.
"Have you ever heard of the Sharingan changing color?"
That draws Itachi up short. He blinks, definitely caught off-guard.
"I cannot say that I have, Kakashi-san. May I ask why you would like to know?" Itachi replies warily, the familiar itch of doujutsu thief prickling his bones.
"Maa, easy, easy," Kakashi says, waving a hand in front of his face. "I have my own eyes that work perfectly well, thank you very much. I'm just asking for a friend, that's all."
Itachi raises an eyebrow but doesn't push. He pointedly doesn't look at the covered half of Kakashi's face.
"Well, if you don't have any useful information for me, and I certainly don't have anything for you, I believe this brings us to an impasse," Kakashi says, matter-of-fact. "Do what you need to do, little raven. I haven't gotten far, I think."
"Please, just a moment Kakashi-san-"
Itachi chokes as the man dispels with a poof of smoke and blinks rapidly. He hadn't seen anything with his Sharingan, which means that had been a shadow clone. Except…
It's not to say he'd been intentionally looking, but the book Kakashi was reading had words in it. Even when he'd flipped the page, it had kept going. So then-
"Just how well does he know that book?" Itachi murmurs, horror trickling down his spine.
The rain takes the opportunity to re-double its efforts, and suddenly Itachi is very alone, very wet, and very, very far behind Kakashi.
Taking a deep breath, Itachi mercilessly strangles down the urge to punch the tree he's standing on and starts looking for leads once again.
Damn that man.
A While Previously
Kakashi regrets every single one of his life choices. Every. Single. One.
"Put me down and fight me like a real man you pasty motherfucker! Lord Jashin will feast on your agony!" the tarp in his hands shrieks, and Kakashi doesn't feel bad when he shakes it back and forth incessantly. "Fucking stop that you pissant! I'll bite your motherfucking throat out!"
It takes everything Kakashi has not to drop kick the stupid thing into the afterlife.
"Boss, can't you just put the sword back in his head? He already said he doesn't know anything, and maybe it would shut him up?" Guruko whines pathetically, glaring daggers at the screaming lump.
"I'll shut you up you fucking coward! Put me down and I'll end you!"
"I can't do that, Guruko," Kakashi says disdainfully. "He needs to be conscious when I turn him in so they don't accidentally let him loose."
"Okay, well, maybe just a little stabbing then? Until he stops screaming?" the dog suggests.
"Okay pup. I think you've had more than enough time with the nukenin, move along," Pakkun barks, nipping at the tawny dog until he springs back through the trees, taking the lead again while grumbling under his breath.
"Stab me then, pussy. I fucking dare you," the tarp hisses, jerking slightly.
Wordlessly, Kakashi wheels around and absolutely smashes the package against the trunk of the tree he's standing on, sighing deeply as the occupant screams in fury and sputters with a gurgle. Ah, he's bitten his tongue, then. Perhaps off, if they're lucky. He can't help but empathize with Guruko, as Hidan hasn't stopped shrieking and hurling expletives since he regained consciousness twelve hours ago. Kakashi is about ready to just bury the man's head and turn in his body, hoping for the best.
"One more hour," he mutters, taking calming breaths. "Just one more hour."
Pakkun snorts, butting at Kakashi's legs and urging him forward. "We'll get there faster if we're actually moving, you know."
Kakashi casually flips the dog off, leaping after Guruko. He shakes his head as he recalls his conversation with Hidan, frustration bubbling up again. The nukenin hadn't known anything about a masked man going by Madara and kept insisting that he had nothing to do with the Akatsuki itself. He'd only joined because Pein had offered him more and more sacrifices for his Lord, with the Akatsuki's personal protection from the people after him.
He had no idea why they wanted Jinchuriki, but it was more than a little fun to 'cut them into tiny pieces and see how fast they regenerated.' His intel had been absolutely worthless, and now Kakashi had been stuck with Hidan calling him every name under the sun and attempting to attract as much attention as possible. It was a disaster, and even the mellow Guruko was starting to crack, if the stabbing comments were any indicator.
Finally, finally, the treeline starts to break, and Kakashi pauses on a branch next to his ninken.
"Are we headed in, boss?" Guruko asks, sitting warily and side-eyeing the bloody tarp in Kakashi's hand.
"No, you are free to go. I'll have Pakkun wait for me, and then I'll meet up with you all afterwards," Kakashi explains, patting the dog on the head reassuringly.
"Wait, does that mean you're coming to the clan forests!?" Guruko exclaims, springing to his feet and wagging his tail.
"That's the plan. It's time I met Nao-sensei, and I need to check on Ūhei," Kakashi says, words like sandpaper through his throat (a ninken wasting his effort saving Kakashi's life, he does not belong here, does not deserve-). "There's a lot we need to discuss."
"Okay, well, I'll make sure to catch the biggest rabbit I can find and then I can show you how good I am at hunting! Oh, and you can meet the rest of the clan! This is so exciting, boss!" the ninken howls, his whole body shaking with the force of his tail wagging. "Pakkun, hurry up!"
"I'm right here, brat," the pug grumbles, landing on the branch next to Kakashi. "What's the hold-up?"
"We were about to-" Kakashi starts, only to be instantly cut off.
"Fuck you, cowards, let me out so I can kill you!"
Kakashi holds his breath and counts to ten, slowly exhaling.
"His tongue regenerated," Pakkun deadpans.
"So it would seem," Kakashi replies, sneering slightly at the bag. "Guruko, go home. Pakkun, wait here. I'll be right back."
"Let me out! I'll fucking take care of you just like this!" Hidan bellows. "Don't you dare take me in there you yellow-bellied cyclops freak!"
"I'll be here," Pakkun responds as Guruko dispels with a poof of smoke.
"You better be," Kakashi grumbles, hauling the shrieking, convulsing tarp along with him.
Pausing for a moment before he officially enters the town, Kakashi reaches around and pulls a long gray cloak from his pack, slinging it around his shoulders. Kakashi can definitely still hear Hidan, but it's at least somewhat muffled.
"I'm telling you, you fucking shitstain. If you take me into a bounty office Kakuzu will find out about this, and it'll be your ass on the line," Hidan hisses, squirming again.
"As opposed to if I let you go now my ass will be off scot-free?" Kakashi inquires, letting the tarp knock off nearby walls.
"Of course not you fucking ass-wipe!" he seethes. "But I'll at least make you suffer for Lord Jashin instead of for a money-grubbing jackass."
Kakashi hums, appearing to consider it for a moment. "I'll have to pass, but thank you for your kind offer."
"Go fuck yourself!" Hidan shrieks, and would you look at that, people are staring.
"Noted," Kakashi replies, prying open the door to the bounty hunter's office.
Kakashi can feel every eye in the office lock onto him, but he (sharp eye, chakra scanning the surroundings, never let your guard down) ignores them in favor of plopping the shaking tarp down onto the wooden counter, sending the grizzled man on the other side an easygoing eye-smile.
"Sorry to trouble you, but I'm here to collect on a bounty, you see," Kakashi says, tone perfectly pleasant.
"Not sure where the hell you blew in from, but every bounty I know of doesn't collect unless the thing is actually dead." the man growls, flicking the moving tarp away from him with his kunai.
("The fuck was that? I'll make you dead!")
"Oh, but you see, that's going to take a few days, and I really don't fancy sticking around quite that long," Kakashi explains, casually tipping the tarp over and allowing Hidan's head to roll out.
Someone shouts in surprise from behind him, but Kakashi ignores them in favor of staring the mercenary in front of him down. He looks at Hidan with undisguised disgust, speechless.
"You can't seriously be suggesting handing in just his head to collect for a bounty," the man finally says, incredulous.
"Oh, no, I have the rest of him too," Kakashi reassures the man with a smile, waving around his scroll.
("Give that back you fucking freak and let me kill you!")
"All you have to do is give him a few days to dry out. You'll be good to go after that!" Kakashi chirps, catching Hidan by the hair before he can bite the mercenary's hand. "So?"
"So?" the man parrots, aghast. "There is no way in hell I'm-"
"Oi, fuck off for a minute," snaps another voice, grabbing the man across from Kakashi and shoving him out of the way. He staggers sideways and nearly crashes into another man sitting and watching the whole ordeal go down, sputtering.
A sour old woman glares up at Kakashi.
"Do we look like Yugakure to you? Or are you just stupid?"
Kakashi regards the woman with a placid smile, tucking the scroll back in his holster.
"Of course not. You are, however, the largest, most prolific bounty outpost on this side of the country," Kakashi says, tone taking an edge of bite. "I'm just your average mercenary, attempting to collect on his S-ranked bounty, no?"
She narrows her eyes at the subtle threat, jutting out a hand.
"Give me the scroll."
Kakashi tilts his head, smile still firmly in place. "I'm afraid I'm rather attached to it. I'd be happy to hand over the body in return for payment, however."
("Let go of me you money hungry piece of shit! I'll show you how much people bleed.")
The woman scoffs at him, but gestures for Kakashi to lay his scroll out regardless.
"We'll be taking twenty percent off the reward. Surcharge for picking it up indirectly," she gruffly informs him, watching with a scowl as Kakashi stops moving.
"Five percent," he fires back.
("Wha- don't bargain over me like I'm some piece of meat you absolute bastards-")
"What kind of business do you think I conduct here, brat?" she scoffs. "Twenty-five percent."
"The scalping kind. Ten percent," Kakashi replies, cordial.
"Tch. Fifteen percent and I'll take the screaming bastard off your hands. Otherwise, you're on your own until you hit Yugakure."
She stares into his eye, and Kakashi knows there's no moving her from there.
"Of course. Pleasure doing business with a gracious woman such as yourself," he responds, channeling some chakra into the seals and releasing scattered body parts.
The woman curls her lip as the smell of blood and waste fills the lobby, twitching limbs wreathing on the floor while Kakashi holds Hidan's head up high.
"Just keep them all separated for a couple of days until he eventually dies of dehydration or something," Kakashi muses, shaking Hidan's head viciously as he starts screaming again. "So, about that payment?"
"I hate you," the woman says so emphatically Kakashi almost believes her as she limps into the back, kicking past a flailing arm.
"You might want to grab that before it makes an even bigger mess," Kakashi suggests to the man he had been speaking with earlier as blood splatters all over the floor.
He glares at Kakashi, but he and a few of his buddies start grabbing body parts and hauling them from the room. The woman reappears a moment later and holds out an incredibly thick stack of Ryo. Kakashi trades her for the head.
"Pleasure doing business with you!" Kakashi chirps, giving a two-fingered salute.
"If I ever see you back here again, I'm poisoning you," the woman says, cold.
"Miss you already!" he calls, disappearing in a swirl of leaves.
Yet another mess for her to clean up. He's not sorry.
"Well, all your limbs are attached, so I'd say you won," Pakkun says upon Kakashi's arrival, standing up and shaking himself.
"Mhm," Kakashi agrees, exhaustion clear in his tone. "And, if everything goes well, he should be dead in just a couple of days."
"Thank Kami," Pakkun mutters, shaking his head again. "I thought the screaming was never going to stop."
Kakashi lets out a hum - that might also be a groan - of agreement and crouches to scratch Pakkun's head.
"We need to get out of here, though. That woman is one of Jiraiya's," Kakashi says with a frown, glancing back towards the town. "She was analyzing that whole conversation, and I'll bet you my life's wages he'll be here before the sun sets."
"Fool's bet," Pakkun declares, pushing his head up into Kakashi's hand. "I'll just have Nao-sensei grab you, then."
Kakashi considers stopping the dog, but… for what? All he's doing at this point is stalling for time and festering in his own guilt. (Gai would be disappointed.)
"Go ahead, Pakkun. I'll be right here," Kakashi replies, plopping fully down onto the branch.
Pakkun disappears with a woof and a puff of smoke, and Kakashi perches his chin on a knee.
(Ūhei was severely injured due to his incompetence. His pack wasn't his pack. They were inexperienced, naive, and so very eager to please it physically hurts. He failed, and his pack that isn't his pack is suffering for it. He needs to get stronger, faster, better, now, but he doesn't have the time to-)
Kakashi is abruptly pulled from his spiraling as he feels a sharp tug in his gut, similar to how the Yondaime's (Minato-sensei's) Hiraishin felt on the few occasions Kakashi was ever able to experience it. He's able to orient himself in time, landing nimbly on his feet. He then proceeds to go down under a wave of fur.
"Boss boss boss! You made it!" comes Bisuke's gleeful bark from somewhere in the writhing mass of dogs covering his abdomen. "This is so exciting! Guruko even caught a big stag earlier we can eat!"
"Don't tell him that!" comes a betrayed sounding whine, followed by a smack. "It was supposed to be a surprise! I told him I was going to catch a rabbit!"
"Okay, well, how was I supposed to know that?" Bisuke fires back, defensive. "You never told any of us that it was supposed to be a surprise, and you spent the last hour bragging about it. I'm surprised he couldn't hear about it from where he was at!"
Kakashi hears growling, which then turns to snarling as the dogs bare their teeth at each other, one on either side of their summoner.
"Here we go again," Kakashi mutters, wincing as Bull plops himself down on top of his ribcage. "Do you guys think maybe-"
"Boys," comes a quiet yet stern voice, cutting Kakashi off and freezing his whole pack in place. "Let your poor summoner up, please."
There are a few quiet grumbles, but the dogs comply regardless. A bit winded, Kakashi sits up with a grimace, visible eye tracking over to where Pakkun sits at the feet of another large dog.
"Hatake Kakashi. It has been some time since we last spoke. How are you faring?" she inquires, tilting her head.
"I've been doing well, Nao-sensei," Kakashi says, shifting his feet in front of himself and standing. "I'm sorry to visit you for the first time like this, however."
Nao huffs through her nose, standing and approaching Kakashi.
"I will hear nothing of the sort. Ūhei did his duty as your ninken, and by implying otherwise you are dishonoring the sacrifice he made to protect you." Nao glares for a moment before slipping behind Kakashi, shoving him forward and away from the vibrating mess that is the rest of his pack. "Now, you are going to go see the pup and verify for yourself that he will be fine, then we will attend to other matters."
Kakashi lets out a small bark of laughter, her candid demeanor somewhat refreshing after spending so long trying to wrangle his pack into order. They stop outside the edge of a small den, and she shoves his back again, compelling him to draw the draping vegetation aside and step inside.
"Boss!" comes a hysterical voice before a vibrating bundle of orange and white is slamming into Kakashi, forcing him to stagger backwards to avoid dropping it.
"Ūhei," Kakashi breathes out, one arm wrapping around the dog and the other cradling the top of his head.
Kakashi only vaguely feels his knees give out, crumpling to the ground with the sheer relief that his ninken is okay. They're both beyond words, at this point, Ūhei a mess of whimpers and licking and Kakashi sitting silently, stroking along his back with shaking hands.
(His pack is okay, no thanks to him.)
"Boss," Ūhei breathes again after several minutes, nuzzling under Kakashi's chin. "I know you told us to wait, but I couldn't just sit there and watch him…" he whines again and wiggles in Kakashi's lap. Big, sad eyes bore into his soul. "Please don't be mad at me, boss. Please don't replace me. I promise I'll be good. I'll be quiet, and I won't make stupid suggestions, and I'll even take remedial tracking again if I have to. Just please don't get rid of me!"
His body is quivering, voice cracking and bandages with patches of shaved fur make him look all the more pathetic. Kakashi just shakes his head over and over and over, pulling the ninken back up against his chest. He pulls his mask down slightly with shaking hands, breathing in the scent that is uniquely Ūhei before tugging on the basenji's ears.
"I'm only going to say this once, so you better listen up," Kakashi croaks, voice unsteady. "I am not mad at you. I am furious with myself for allowing you to be put in that situation in the first place. You aren't in trouble, Ūhei, but I never, ever want to see you do something so reckless again."
("I'm not mad at you, Kakashi. I don't think I could ever be mad at you. I'm just upset with the fact that you were put in a place where you had to make a decision like that in the first place. You're six, for Kami's sake, and-")
"Please don't be mad, boss," Ūhei starts out, uncertain, "but I don't think I can make a promise like that. You- you were going to die, boss, and I couldn't just stand there and do nothing! That's what pack does! We do stupid things and take big hits and fight and bleed and get mad, but we're pack, boss. And pack is forever."
(And doesn't that feel like an ice-pick straight through the heart? How many times has his pack left him? Minato and Kushina and Obito and Rin and Asuma and- and has he left his pack? What happened to Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke and Tenzou and Gai and his ninken? Because his pack always leaves, and they never come back.)
"Pack can't be forever if you're dead, Ūhei," Kakashi gets out between gritted teeth, drawing his trembling hands into fists.
"That's not true and you know it," the basenji murmurs, pressing his snout flat against Kakashi's chest. "It would take a lot more than just you dying for us to forget about you. Pakkun knew you were a Hatake right away, even though we've never met one for real before. Why would it not work the other way?"
Kakashi feels a whine rise up in the back of his throat, but he stamps it down before it can fight its way out.
"You can't die, Ūhei," Kakashi mumbles against the ninken's head.
(He can't take much more.)
"Yeah, well, I didn't die, so why are we having this argument in the first place?" the dog shoots back, grumbling slightly as he shifts to curl his side into Kakashi's chest. "And what are we doing on the floor when there's a perfectly good bed like, two feet away?"
Kakashi breathes out and shakes his head, forcing his muscles to quit their tremors. Placing a hand under the ninken's chest, he moves to stand.
"I can't just be lying around all day, Ūhei," he says, bending down to place the basenji softly in the blankets. "I have other things I need to do, and you need to focus on healing."
"Actually," a feminine voice cuts in, "lying down would be in your best interest, I believe, Kakashi." Nao nudges her way through the thick foliage covering the entrance to the den, staring Kakashi down. "Just because your pack hasn't caught on doesn't mean I haven't seen you limping. Ūhei said you collided backwards with a tree, and you really want me to believe you miraculously made it out of a fight like that with absolutely zero injuries?"
Kakashi shifts uncomfortably, (don't let your injuries show. They will pick you apart and use your weaknesses to propel themselves further-) hand reflexively resting on the small of his back.
"You're rather observant, aren't you Nao-sensei?" Kakashi deflects, edging towards the door.
"I am a sighthound for a reason. Now, lay down, Kakashi. Before I make you." She finishes the last part with a growl, and he complies wordlessly.
Kakashi is many things, but stupid is not one of them. Despite her age, attempting to go toe to toe with a full-grown Borzoi with extensive knowledge on natural chakra is… not ideal. He allows her to tug his shirt up and tsk at the bruising, retrieving a pot from the other side of the room.
"I can't say for certain, but this kind of bruising usually suggests something is broken, Kakashi."
She sounds disapproving. Ūhei is hiding.
"Er, possibly. I hadn't really noticed," Kakashi mumbles, like it's not absolute bullshit.
So the pain had shortened his temper a little bit. It's not like Hidan hadn't deserved it.
"I'm sure," she replies, voice flat. "Now, be a good boy and put some of this on your sides while I get your back. Some of us don't have opposable thumbs."
"I'm not a dog," Kakashi mutters under his breath, shivering at the feeling of cool paste on his inflamed skin.
"Certainly," Nao responds, pushing her paw a bit more firmly against Kakashi's spine, "but you are part of my pack, and therefore you shall be treated like one of the pups unless you can prove to me otherwise. So far, I'm not impressed."
Kakashi winces and pretends, with what scraps of dignity he has left, that it's because of her nails lightly pressing into the - quite frankly - massive bruise spanning nearly the entirety of his back.
"My pack was excited to feed me, I thought," Kakashi pushes, wiping his palms on his pants. "I wouldn't want to let them down."
"It's a good thing they can bring you a plate in here, then," Nao snaps, obviously starting to get fed up with Kakashi's badgering.
He sighs, allowing Nao to push him down onto the blankets next to Ūhei face first.
"Now stay while I go collect dinner and the pups. I will know if you move, Hatake," she growls menacingly before exiting the room with a graceful sweep of her tail.
"Suddenly, I'm seeing why you all respect her so much," Kakashi mutters into the blankets, hand blindly patting Ūhei's back.
"She's scary," the basenji whispers, nuzzling up into Kakashi's side.
"I would have to agree."
"Please don't tell her I said that," Ūhei whimpers.
Kakashi just laughs softly, stroking his ninken.
.
.
.
(Why do they care?)