Cast Not Love Away
By Felicia Ferguson
Author's Note: All details and disclaimers in chapter one. Enjoy the story!
Chapter Three
Tuesday
Dinner the previous evening had been laden with silence and sparks. Shane had gone to bed right after she cleared the table claiming a need to be rested up to train Samantha. But she'd remained wide awake until Oliver joined her a few hours later. As they slept, she had at some point melted into him and woke draped across him, nose tucked into the crook of his neck. His arm wrapped around her as they dozed, and she relished his touch and the simple joy of being in his arms. But when they fully woke and his touch turned intimate, memories of their conversation last night pricked at her. She'd scooted out of his arms, reminding him of the time and his new directive for their relationship, and headed for the shower.
Their morning devotional time during breakfast wasn't much better. They had started a study on the book of John after they'd work through James, and were now halfway through the study guide. Oliver had read the assigned verses in John chapter fourteen, but Shane had remained silent as he answered the study questions. With no discussion, they had finished the chapter and their food in record time. And then she had leapt from her chair, grabbing the empty dishes, before Oliver could rise and extend his hand to her.
And now as they walked into work, side by side, but not arm-in-arm, an hour later shame burned through her. They both savored touching and being touched. It bonded them, grounded them, was their favorite way of saying I love you without saying I love you. And she had peevishly robbed them of that opportunity twice that morning.
She had never denied him before. Just as he'd never denied her. And now thanks to his new edict, there would be no possibility of enjoying even the most platonic of touches until they were home again. What had she been thinking? Why was she being so petty? And why was she so willing to toe this line after she'd ignored so many of his rules before? Shane bit her lip as they continued to walk, searching for answers, but finding none.
She risked a glance to him as they reached the sorting area, absorbing the masculine curves and dips of his profile, and love flooded through her. But she jerked her gaze away before that love could find its way to her eyes—just in case he caught her staring.
They reached the time clock a few minutes later, and a relieved sigh slipped between her lips as Oliver clocked them both in as he had done every day since their engagement. Maybe tonight after dinner they could talk through whatever lay at the root of this new plan and come to a saner agreement about PDA in the workplace. And maybe that would settle the unnerving sensation that still pricked at her.
Shane flashed Oliver a quick smile of thanks as he pushed open the DLO door for her. His easy greeting to Norman and Rita soothed the rest of her concerns. Yes, whatever this was, it was just a bump. They would talk it out like they always did and would be stronger for it. Satisfied, she pulled out her laptop and checked her searches on the coin while she waited for Samantha to arrive.
##
Samantha sashayed into the DLO thirty minutes later, holding travel trays filled with coffees and a wide grin wreathing her pretty features. "Good morning, teammates!" She set the travel trays down on the credenza then picked up the first cup, a large coffee, and walked over to Oliver. "Wanted to thank y'all for the warm welcome."
Shane's eyes narrowed as Oliver took the coffee Samantha offered and smiled his appreciation. Was there more in his eyes than simple thanks? Was Samantha's attention simply southern hospitality or was there something more to her purchase?
Samantha brought another large coffee, this time with Shane written on the outside of it, over to her. Shane smiled her thanks then took a sip as Samantha waited for her reaction. It was indeed a skinny vanilla latte. Shane lifted the cup in a salute.
Samantha's grin widened then she twirled around and headed off to Norman's lab to distribute the remaining coffees. "I asked the barista at the Mailbox Grille—Angie, I think it was—if she knew y'all's orders and she popped them right off the top of her head. Y'all are definitely frequent fliers there."
She reappeared a moment later, flashed a friendly smile to Oliver as she tossed the travel trays in the trash can near his desk, then joined Shane behind hers. She pulled her iPad from her purse and flicked an eager look from Shane to the laptop, true curiosity overlaying her friendliness. "I understand we're spending the day together. I've heard so much about you and your skills from Becky that I've been dying to sit down with you and talk tech."
Shane's lips lifted in a genuine smile as she pushed aside her earlier suspicions. There was nothing to worry about. Samantha was just naturally extroverted on top of being a southern belle. Shane had had more than her share of experience with them in college back in Virginia. "Ah, yes, Becky did mention you brought your own unique tech skills to the Miami DLO. Why don't we start with a brief summary of them, and then I can fill in the gaps from there?"
Shane picked up her laptop and gestured for Samantha to follow her to the front credenza and pull up a chair. As Samantha provided a general overview of her skills, Shane nodded, truly impressed. Becky had been right to choose her to lead the tech side of the Miami DLO. She would only need a few tips and tricks to expand her hacking repertoire.
As Shane pulled up her favorite firewall hack, obtained during her time out of the country with Steve, Samantha peppered her with curious questions about how she'd gotten a hold of it. Shane simply smiled and shook her head. Confidentiality agreements were binding and lasting. And she had no plans to spend time in a jail cell if they were broken.
They took a break a few hours later for Shane to check on the bot search for the coin, and Samantha tucked her chin in her hand, her gaze fixed on some point well beyond the computer screen. Shane glanced up and found the object of her interest was sitting behind his desk peering through his standing magnifying glass at a horribly damaged letter.
"Your boss is really amazing, you know that right?"
Shane stiffened at Samantha's gushing admiration, but she couldn't disagree. A smile flickered across her lips as she replied, "Yes. He is."
Samantha shook her head as her tone took on a dreamy quality. "He has a brilliant mind and a keen insight for this work."
Shane glanced again at Samantha and that odd sensation from yesterday flickered over her. She still sat, chin in her hand, gaze fixed on Oliver, but what was that small smile on her lips all about?
Samantha flicked an uncertain glance toward Shane and lowered her voice. "I hope I can live up to his model as the section leader of my DLO."
Shane studied her for a moment. Real concern seemed to lurk in her green eyes. Not only did she have good skills, she truly wanted to be good at her job. Both were admirable qualities—especially for a member of the DLO Task Force. She swallowed a sigh. She really should give her the benefit of the doubt.
Think Scarlett O'Hara, Shane.
She pushed aside the reminder that Scarlett had initially tried to steal Ashley Wilkes from Melanie and focused on Samantha's statement. "Well, Oliver's been doing this for almost sixteen years. I'd say you have time to get to his level." She flashed an encouraging smile and prayed this line of conversation was finally over.
But apparently God missed that request. Curiosity and delight mingled in Samantha's eyes as she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Did you know his position in the DLO started all because of a mailbox explosion? And he's dedicated his career to restoring lost letters to their writers and writees?"
I'm his wife, you know. Holly's words hung on Shane's own lips, saturated with irritation, begging to be released, but she swallowed them down. If Oliver didn't want PDA in the DLO, he certainly would not appreciate his wife going postal on a woman who was doing her best fangirl impression. No. Oliver had requested complete professionalism at work, and until they could have a conversation about her views on what that would look like going forward, Shane would respect his wishes.
"His drive and commitment are simply amazing. I wonder what keeps him so energized for the work?" Samantha's enthusiastic admiration seemed to have no end.
"Okay then." Stifling a frustrated sigh, Shane closed her laptop and pasted a bright smile on her face. "You know what, I think it's time for a real break. I'm going to run to the ladies' room. All that coffee, you know."
Samantha chuckled and waved her off. Shane nearly barreled through the back DLO doors suddenly desperate for distance from Samantha's glowing admiration. She loved gushing about Oliver's finer points too, but hearing them roll out of another woman's mouth, a woman who wasn't wearing his ring on her finger, was just too much. She slow-walked to the bathroom, greeting Hazel and the other postal workers and willing her rising pulse to calm.
But when she returned ten minutes later, she wished she'd stayed. Samantha stood by Oliver's chair, peering over his shoulder through the magnifying glass offering her insights into the sender's identity.
Shane cleared her throat, gaining the attention of both Samantha and Oliver, then pointed to her laptop. "Samantha, why don't you start trying those hacking protocols now?" The question came out sharper than she'd intended. And while Samantha smiled and nodded, Oliver's eyes narrowed and concern wrinkled his brow.
Shane forced a smile then turned back to the screen and pulled up her favorite bot program. Be a professional, Shane. Not a territorial shrew. He is your husband after all, not hers.
##
The rest of Samantha's training passed well enough. She was a quick and appreciative study with the searches and programs and even gave Shane her passwords for the three largest art auction houses in Atlanta in case she ever needed them.
Shane's heart had clenched with guilt more than once, reminding herself Samantha was just a typical southern woman, prone to flirting and compliments. She couldn't really have designs on Oliver. But as Oliver and Shane closed up the DLO later that evening and they discussed Samantha's schedule for the next day, Shane wondered if the same could be said for her husband.
Oliver clicked off the lights in the DLO as Shane slipped out the side door. He scanned the sorting area and nodded to a few of the second shift employees then adjusted the strap of his briefcase across his chest. "Regarding tomorrow's schedule and Ms. Morris's training. Glynnis Rucker's monthly inter-department presentations are scheduled for the next two days. In order to adhere to the training schedule laid out by Mrs. Starkwell Robbins, Ms. Morris and I will need to meet to discuss inter-department issues before those meetings begin."
Shane kept her hands tucked in the pockets of her coat to curtail her now automatic response of tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow. She flicked a brief look toward him uncertain if his statement was more than rhetorical. She finally settled on, "Okay."
He cleared his throat then bobbed his head once. "That will necessitate a change in our personal morning routine."
Shane's brow furrowed. That statement would definitely need more explanation. She lifted her eyes to his, trying to prepare herself for whatever he would say.
Oliver's lips parted as his eyes darted away and back. "I am afraid we will need to forgo our morning devotional time."
Shane frowned, but nodded. One day wasn't that big of a deal. They were closing in on the crucifixion in their studies and, after learning about it in detail during Holy Week, she wasn't looking forward to hearing about the gruesome process again, regardless of how much humanity needed for it to happen.
Oliver gestured for her to precede him out the main branch employee exit. As the door closed behind them, Shane finally removed her hands from her pockets and tucked her arm through his. After ten hours of no touching, the simple gesture felt like heaven on earth. When Oliver didn't object, she swallowed her thankful sigh. Maybe he'd felt the absence too? Maybe he was having second thoughts about the conversation last night?
She glanced up at him. Maybe tonight they could talk out whatever this nonsense was that had wrapped him up in knots. And Samantha would be gone in ten days. Everything would go back to normal. They would be fine. It would all be fine.
As relief eased through her, she flashed him an encouraging smile. "I'll miss the study time with you, but as long as we can keep our other regularly scheduled morning … activity …" Her grin warmed with promise as she watched his ears pink.
He took in a quick breath then nodded as if preparing himself to say the next words.
Shane's brow furrowed. He was nervous. Again. That now familiar chill raced across her neck.
"Ah, yes. I believe that will have to be canceled as well … to allow time for Ms. Morris's training."
Shane stumbled, and Oliver automatically reached to steady her. But she stepped away, pulling her arm from his. Was he really saying he'd rather spend time meeting with a new colleague than making love with his wife? If so, then having a sane conversation about workplace PDA had just been bumped off the discussion list by a much bigger priority. "Oliver …" Shane tightened her grip on her purse as she tried to find words.
Oliver rose on his toes as professionalism cooled his words. "I just feel our attention should be dedicated to the assignment Becky gave us. Effectively and efficiently adding a new team to the Task Force should be a priority over personal concerns, especially given the limited amount of time we've been given."
Suspicion wicked through her. Was his commitment to training really prioritizing duty over personal, a lesson he learned with the mailbox explosion? Or was this something else? Her mind flashed back to his shared laughter with Samantha, his obvious appreciation of her coffee, her gushing admiration of his talents.
Scarlett. Ashley. Melanie.
Shane's heart clenched. But a moment later the rest of their story fell into place. Ashley had ultimately refused Scarlett and married Melanie. The odd sensation eased. What was wrong with her? Oliver was right. Duty needed to come first right now.
She nodded. It was only ten days. They had the rest of their lives together. She glanced to the Jag now a few feet away. "Why don't we take separate cars in the morning then. That way I can sleep in, and you can be free to … go when you need to."
Oliver sniffed his agreement then gestured for her precede him to the car. He unlocked her door and held it open while she climbed inside.
##
The evening had again been filled with silence. As soon as she'd set her purse down on the kitchen counter exhaustion sank through her. Between the odd conversations with Oliver, Samantha's overly attentive behavior, and her own odd reactions, Shane had the distinct sensation of whiplash. She waved off his offer of dinner and opted for a long bath alone, hoping to restore some semblance of peace.
They needed to talk, but by the time she pulled the tub's plug, wrapped herself in a bathrobe, and returned downstairs, Oliver sat on the living room couch fully absorbed in Paradise Lost. It was probably for the best. After all, she really couldn't find the words for the crazy reactions that had popped up at such odd times during the day.
So, she'd simply grabbed her iPad out of her purse and joined him on the couch to mindlessly scroll through clothing websites. But her thoughts continued to turn to Oliver and Samantha and the niggling sensation there was more building between them than a simple work relationship.
When the clock hit ten, he asked her about retiring for the night and she agreed—the first words they'd spoken in hours. Evenings in silence weren't unusual for them, but it would have been nice for him to ask her what was going on—why she had reacted so oddly at the DLO. Maybe then she might be able to find the words she needed to even explain it to herself.
But Oliver said nothing, instead only bidding her goodnight and closing his eyes. His soft snores filled the room a few minutes later, but Shane stared at the ceiling for hours as that earlier odd sensation tumbled and twisted into the first inklings of real fear.