Angela looked out her window completely absorbed in her thoughts, which couldn't be further from the storyboard that sat on her desk in front of her. Despite the fact that she tried to pour herself into her work in order to distract herself from how much she missed Jonathan, Sam and Tony - it wasn't working. 'God I miss Tony,' she admitted, 'three weeks is such a long time.' She'd spend the day at the office busying herself with storyboards and brainstorming sessions but her mind just kept coming back full circle to Tony. Everything reminded her of him! For example: The other day when Mona asked her what she wanted to order for dinner, her thoughts immediately took her to a smiling Tony cooking in their kitchen as she walked in after a busy day at work. Last Friday when she walked in the door, she almost tricked herself into seeing Tony walk in from the kitchen to greet her with her martini in hand. When she lost that account 2 days ago, she wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and call him at their hotel because she knew that two minutes on the phone with him and she would be her confident self again ready to nail the next one. 'It's their loss Angela, they don't know what they're missing' he would surely say. But she didn't want to impose on his much deserved time away with Samantha. 'I hope they're having a wonderful time. Although I'm certain Tony is making sure Samantha doesn't have too good of a time' she mused with a giggle.
"What are you giggling at?" Mona asked, standing at her office door, startling Angela out of her reverie.
"Mother! … I didn't see you there."
"That's obvious Dear." Mona returned with an eyeroll. "So what? … or shall I ask who?" she winked, "has got you giggling in the middle of the day alone in your office? Staring out the window, no less." She knew very well her daughter was missing Tony, she had noticed a change in her. Her eagerness to get home from the office every night diminished. Her body language as they walked through the door every night disappointed, as if she had allowed herself to believe that maybe he'd come home early and would be there to surprise her when she got home.
"Mother," Angela replied annoyed, "I was just thinking about the storyboard" she lied, knowing very well her mother wouldn't buy it but hoped she would let it go, and she did.
"You have a call on line two Dear … and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," she added with another wink. She tried to keep her cool, but the way her face lit up at the thought that it might be Tony on the phone did not go unnoticed. "Even a blind man would have sensed the smile that just lit up your face Angela." Mona said dryly as she walked out the door and quickly closed it behind her saving Angela from wasting any breath trying to deny it.
"That's the last time I'll ever ask mother to help me on Saturdays" she said before allowing herself a moment to smile and shrug her shoulders like a teenage girl whose crush just called her for the first time. Then took a deep breath, picked up the receiver and answered the call. "Hello?" she said casually.
"Hey Ange!" His disposition was as sunny as the State he was calling from.
"Tony! Hi!" she said a little more enthusiastically than she had planned, her heart suddenly racing as though she was running a marathon.
"Sorry to bother you at work … I uh … just wanted to see how things are going over there. How many boxes of creepy crawlers have you eaten since I left?" he chuckled.
She wasn't sure if he meant that literally, figuratively or both, but she had noticed that since they shared a kiss on her birthday several months back things had been a little different between them. Tony even seemed a little jealous each time she had gone out on a date. Although there had only been two, she definitely noticed. "I assure you Tony, the answer is zero." Which wasn't a lie, on both accounts.. "So tell me!" Angela continued, eager to hear about their trip, "How's Florida? How's my baby? uh … my Sam, uh Sam! … How's Sam?" she asked, exhaling a long breath.
His heart swelled with love. 'She just called Samantha her baby. How in the world did we get so lucky?' he thought. Wanting to acknowledge her heartwarming slip Tony said, "It's okay Angela."
"Oh Tony, I'm so sorry … I just … I love that little girl so much" Angela whispered with unshed tears glistening in her eyes.
"Believe me I know. She is a very lucky girl to have you and I think you earned the right to think of her as your baby when you took her out shopping for her first bra … and bought her a dress, and coat, and robe, and little purse with a little eyeshadow and lipstick …" He added laughing in an attempt to lighten the mood again.
With tears now running down her cheeks, Angela cleared her throat and asked again, "So, tell me about your trip."
She listened attentively as Tony told her about all the things he and Sam had been up to. She smiled when he inevitably told her about a boy that was paying a little too much attention to Samantha on the beach and she then jotted down their arrival time for next weekend - which was the initial reason for his call. They had driven so she didn't have to pick them up at the airport or anything, but wanted to be sure she would be home to greet them so they had agreed that once confirmed, Tony would call to let her know when they'd be home. "Thank you Tony." she said somberly knowing this was the last time she was going to hear his voice until they were home again.
"Okay Angela, I'll see you in a few days." He said as they were ending the call but Angela spoke again.
"Tony?"
"Yeah Ange?"
"It was good to hear your voice again, that house is not the same without my family in it." It had been a long time since Angela had felt alone in that house and everyone being away really brought to light the fact that in their own little way, they were nothing short of a family.
"It was good to hear you too Angela" He admitted. 'I miss you so much' he thought, but didn't dare speak out loud.
The train ride home was nothing short of an inquisition as Mona relentlessly asked Angela what had been said on that call with Tony. "Different how Mother?" Angela asked her mother for the third time.
"I don't know how to explain it to you Angela, but a mother just knows and something happened on that call. You are acting differently!" she whispered, not wanting to raise her voice on the train. Despite Mona's best efforts, Angela did not give away anything except for what Tony and Samantha had been up to and their expected time of arrival.
It felt like the next few days took weeks to pass by, but finally the day had arrived. Tony and Samantha would be arriving early that afternoon and Angela had hired cleaners so that the house was spotless for Tony's return - although she was certain that he would find something wrong with it because, according to him, no one would ever be able to clean the house as well as he does. She had to admit that he wasn't wrong.
After hours of pacing back and forth through her empty house Angela finally heard a car door close in the front and ran towards the door to greet them with her mother right behind her. Mona ran right to Sam, "My baby!" she said as she took Samantha in her arms and Angela couldn't help but to feel a little sad. She loved that little girl as if she were her very own and in that moment she envied her mother's ability to be so carefree and affectionate with her in a way that she couldn't bring herself to be. Not only with Samantha, but with Tony as well. When Tony walked in the door he picked up Mona in a hug and spun her around the room as Angela sheepishly wished that it was her he was holding. After putting Mona back down he walked over to Angela and gave her a handshake … It was probably the most awkward greeting in the history of greetings. She sighed internally, disappointed with how rigid their relationship was but so happy to have him back home.
Shortly after their arrival, Angela received a phone call from Jonathan's camp. The counselor had informed her that Jonathan was homesick and not doing well at camp and suggested that she might want to bring him home this weekend when she visited on parents' day. Having missed Jonathan terribly they decided they would all go to the camp as a family to bring him home.
As they made their four hour journey to the camp, they planned to make a stop at a picnic spot for a bathroom break and a snack. They found a quiet spot in the woods and set up for a quick rest. While sitting around chatting Tony and Angela began to share their own camp stories from when they were kids with Sam and Mona. Things started to get interesting when Tony said he had been at a Y camp near Jonathan's in 1964 or 1965 he couldn't remember exactly and Angela realized that she too had been at camp during those years but she went to Jonathan's camp which, coincidentally, was right across the lake from the Y camp that Tony had gone to. But things got really interesting when they each told very similar stories about how they shared their first kiss with a camper from the other side of the lake at what they called "kissing rock", or as Tony called it, "makeout rock". It was Samantha that first pointed out just how similar the two stories were and said that it's possible they may have been each other's first kiss. Knowing that the probability was near impossible Tony and Angela dismissed the thought especially since Angela remembered the name of the first boy she kissed "and it was not Tony it was Anthony" she declared. The realization hit her as soon as the name was out of her mouth and Samantha and Mona were taken by the possibility. Unable to remember the name of the girl he had shared his first kiss with, Tony was not able to confirm nor deny with certainty whether or not it was Angela. They dismissed the possibility, packed up their things and continued to make their way to Jonathan's camp.
After arriving at camp Tony and Angela, still flustered by their picnic story telling, admitted to each other that they were curious to determine once and for all whether or not they were each other's first kiss and that's when Tony shared with Angela that he had carved the name of the girl on the rock where they kissed after returning there the next night. They quietly slipped away from camp leaving the kids and Mona behind and they set out to find "kissing/makeout rock" in an effort to find Tony's carving.
After getting lost a few times trying to find the rock, Tony and Angela finally reached their destination. Now nervous about the very real possibility that they may have in fact been each other's first kiss as young children they began to have second thoughts. Ultimately, curiosity won over and Tony searched the rock until he found his carving - but not before they both promised that even if it was them it didn't change anything and it was not an ultimate plot from the universe to get them together.
"Tony and … Ingrid" he read out, sounding almost disappointed.
"Ingrid?" Angela said with a slight hint of shock, "Ingrid," she repeated pensively.
"You see Angela, there's no unseen force pushing us together." Just then there was a loud clap of thunder. Startled, Angela immediately ran towards Tony and took cover in the refuge of his arms.
She looked up into his eyes, shock, amazement and fear all consuming her body. 'Ingrid' she thought to herself this time.
"Tony? … What if it had been us? Would that have changed anything? Like I know we said it wouldn't and that we still don't believe in kismet and fate and destiny … but what if it had been us? Would you feel differently?" She asked, careful to tread lightly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean … if it was us and here we were twenty years later … that would be pretty crazy right?"
"I guess so," Tony shrugged, "but Angela it wasn't us and truthfully the probability that it would have been us was next to zero. Those stories only happen in the movies."
"What if I told you … Tony …" she paused. What they had was precious to her. This family they had built, Angela had no idea where she and Jonathan would be today had Samantha and Tony not walked into their lives when they did. She did not want to do or say anything that could risk them losing that. But at the same time, she couldn't help but to feel shaken by the significance of this unthinkable outcome.
"Angela, are you okay?" Tony saw that she was deep in thought and he could tell she was conflicted. 'Is she disappointed that it wasn't us?' he contemplated.
"Tony, I'm Ingrid" she blurted out. His jaw slackened, he was shocked, but also confused.
"What?" he asked, releasing her from his grip and taking a step back to look at her. When she didn't answer, he asked again, "What do you mean you're Ingrid?"
"That night, I was nervous and I didn't want anyone to know and I was afraid you might kiss and tell so I lied. I told you my name was Ingrid."
"No you didn't." He said in a tone that made it come out more like a question than a statement.
"Tony! I would never lie to you! Especially not about something this important!" One look into her eyes and he knew that she was telling the truth.
Shaken, he asked, "Why Ingrid?"
"I'd just …" she began to explain but he cut her off.
"Oh my God!" he exclaimed and after pausing for a moment whispered, "Casablanca." Knowing exactly where she had gotten the name.
At that moment, Angela's knees went weak. She could have shared this moment with a million other people on this planet and she was certain that Tony was the only one who would have gotten that reference. She became overcome with emotion. 'This is all too too much.' she thought. 'He's right - this only happens in movies … yet, here we are. How did this happen?' she couldn't make sense of any of this. 'Surely I'm dreaming,' she concluded … and she was so convinced that this couldn't possibly be real that she pinched herself, "Ow!" she winced.
"Aww sweetheart don't do that" he said, grabbing her arm and rubbing it where she had pinched herself. By the time he realized his slip up she was already gazing lovingly into his eyes and he knew at that moment that he was in trouble. "So … not a dream?" he asked her.
She was far past the point of stringing together a coherent word so she just slowly shook her head, never losing contact with his eyes. His hand was still on her arm, still rubbing over the sting of her pinch. Only problem was his touch seemed to burn more than sting from the pinch.
"Angela … I don't know what to do with this. I mean … this is … this is just … crazy right? Is the universe pushing us together? I don't even know what to think anymore!" He rambled off every thought that was circling around in his brain and she just watched him, speechless. He looked down and rubbed his hands through his hair exasperated. Looking up again he couldn't help but to stop and appreciate how beautiful she was. He was fascinated by the look in her eyes. He had to admit they did a lot of communication with their eyes, the two of them. But this was new. It was almost like the look she gave him before he kissed her on her birthday, only this time more intense. 'Alluring' he thought. "Angela, I don't think …" she brought her hand up and gently placed it on his lips begging him not to finish that sentence.
"Tony, I don't want to think anymore … right now I just … I just want you." She slowly removed her hand from his lips and kissed them, softly and hesitant at first but when he wrapped her in his arms and began to kiss her back all bets were off.
Her hands made their way to his hair and she caressed and tugged it lightly willing him to lean his head back. As he did she began to kiss his neck, the smell of his cologne only further aroused her aching need for him. Feeling the loss of her lips on his almost immediately he leaned back down and reconnected with them. This time, his tongue darted out begging to explore her more thoroughly. She emitted a low moan from the depths of her throat and it took every fiber of his being to not rip off her clothes and take all of her right there against that rock. She had pulled his shirt out from his pants, her hands underneath it exploring every muscle, feeling every contraction as he moved under her touch. Rain began to pour down over them, her white shorts and pink lace thong leaving very little to the imagination. Desperate to give her hands the freedom to roam, she pulled his shirt up over his head and then began to leave a trail of kisses on every inch of newly exposed flesh. Starting at his lips, she then kissed her way across his jawline, down his neck, to his chest …"
Tony began to tug at her sweater, gently pulling it up and over her head. Her pale blue oxford was soaked. He could see the lace of her bra right through it, revealing the unmistakable peaks that were emerging beneath it. Leaving her lips he now began to explore the rest of her body. Making his way down to her neck, he placed a few kisses behind her ear and bit down lightly on her earlobe before continuing and was pleased when she moaned his name. His body reacting to every sound she made, his erection becoming unbearable under the confines of his tight jeans. He tried to subtly adjust himself but when he moved his hand down, Angela took a hold of it, moved it up to her breast and began to undo his belt herself. Once it was loose, she undid the top button of his jeans and then carefully unzipped them but not before squeezing her hand inside in order to be sure she didn't hurt him with the zipper. "Oh Angela" he whispered hoarsely when her hand made contact with him.
"Don't you mean Ingrid?" Angela asked, amused in the moment by how silly it had been for her to lie about her name.
He looked into her eyes. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. "No," he whispered, "I mean Angela," before taking her lips in a passionate kiss. Angela felt a warmth at her core unlike anything she had ever experienced and she lost all control. She needed to feel him, all of him. She began pushing his pants down. "Angela, are you sure about this? I mean, this might not be the best idea."
"Tony, can you honestly tell me you don't want this right now?"
"Of course I want this Angela. I've wanted you since I saw you walk out of your bathtub naked!" he admitted sheepishly.
"I thought you said you didn't see anything?" she questioned.
"Is that really what you want to discuss right now?"
"Tony, we are adults and at the end of the day nothing's gonna happen unless we want it to happen."
"Angela it's not that I don't want this to happen but what happens when it's over? I'm your housekeeper!"
"Why can't you just be Anthony right now … for one night? Just be Anthony from Brooklyn, I'll be Ingrid from Connecticut and we are … camp counselors … uhm, working across the lake from each other - albeit not very good ones if we left our campers alone at night" she giggled, "I've never been good with this roleplay stuff." she admitted. But the fact that that statement implied she had tried it before had Tony's head spinning with images that he had no business seeing. He shook the thoughts out of his head and willed every ounce of blood in his body to return to the head on his shoulders.
"Angela, what we have" he paused looking for the right words and then remembered their phone conversation a few days ago and continued "this family that we've built, it means everything to me. I don't want to do anything that might disrupt the equilibrium. I could never lose you and Sam … she can't lose another mom." With tears in her eyes she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, moved by the fact that he had just referred to her as a second mother to Samantha.
"Tony, this family means everything to me too and I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. But this …" she reached out her hand and placed it on top of their names carved into the rock "I'm sorry but if you tell me this is anything but destiny you are in denial. I know our circumstances and I know we can't be in a relationship but who's to say we couldn't indulge just this once? Why are we fighting it so hard?"
"What are you saying Angela?"
"I'm saying I don't want to keep fighting this anymore. I'm tired of hiding in the shadows. I'm tired of living my life day in and day out pretending that I'm not attracted to you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live under the same roof with you?"
Thinking back to all the cold showers he had to endure for weeks following the bathtub incident and then again after kissing her on her birthday, Tony somberly replied "Believe me … I have an idea."
"Then why won't you just give in?," frustration now evident in her tone.
"Because the stakes are too high Angela!" he shouted, equally frustrated.
She took a moment to think it through and then conceded. "I guess you're right," she said disappointed and looking down, "but I don't have to like it." She allowed her body to come to rest against the rock, the disappointment in her eyes heartbreaking.
Tony watched her closely. 'How did I get so lucky? This beautiful, intelligent, passionate, loving woman who can have any guy in the world and she wants me.' "hah!" Tony absentmindedly muttered out loud causing Angela to look up at him.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked self consciously.
"I was just thinking, that you could literally have any guy you want in this world and you want me … it's a bit ridiculous don't you think?" He scoffed.
"Why is it ridiculous?" she asked, hurt by his comment.
"Come on Angela! I'm a washed up baseball player with a bummed shoulder who cleans your toilets for a living."
"The way I see it … you were a professional athlete until some twists of fate turned you into the best father I've ever met. You are amazing at what you do Tony. You keep us all on track, you would do anything for your family and I feel so lucky that you showed up at my doorstep because you and Samantha are the best thing that's ever happened to Jonathan and I … and … you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Her eyes now glistening with unshed tears, she looked down again in an effort to regain her composure.
Tony walked over to her and cupped her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his. He could see the love and sadness that radiated from her eyes and his heart swelled with emotion. Despite her best efforts, a single tear made its way down her cheek and Tony kissed it away with his soft lips. He continued to place butterfly kisses all over her face, slowly, lovingly before finally connecting with her lips for a kiss so filled with passion and lust that everything around them seemed to disappear. Her arms immediately found their place around his neck, her hands in his hair. She leaned her head back to catch her breath and he began to kiss her neck, again a throaty moan escaped her and he lost all sense of reality. In that moment she was the only thing that mattered in the world and he wanted to make sure that she knew it. Tony unbuttoned her shirt, one slow agonizing button at a time leaving kisses on every inch of newly exposed flesh as he made his way down to the last button. He heard her gasp as she squirmed when he made his way across her abdomen. As he kneeled in front of her, he was now aware of the fact that her white shorts and lace panties were no match for the rain that continued to wash down over them. He looked up and saw her looking down at him, her right hand resting gently on his head. Her gaze was deep, but neutral. She didn't want to be the one to pressure him into doing anything if he was not comfortable with it. He unbuttoned her shorts and slowly pulled them down her long, exquisite legs leaving them pooled around her feet on the grass covered ground. He placed his open mouth over her center teasing her with his warm breath, careful not to make contact and despite the fact that cool rain was pouring down over them, he could feel the heat radiating from her body. "God Angela, you're so hot," he meant that in every possible sense of the word. He had barely touched her and she was already so aroused. Curious to know just how much, he slid a finger inside her panties and was amazed when he felt how wet she was already and it definitely wasn't the rain.
"Oh God Tony" she moaned, oblivious to the fact that she had pressed down on his head guiding it towards her to join his finger. Amused by her eagerness he smiled.
He slowly slid his finger back out and stood up. Leaning into her he kissed behind her ear and nibbled on her earlobe before whispering, "Not so fast Angela. I told you I'd want you to remember it, and I'm going to make sure that you do." Angela's eyes rolled back and she groaned in frustration but also thinking she had never been this turned on in her life and to think that he was just getting started …
He kissed his way down to her breasts and took one of her nipples tightly between his lips through her bra while his hand cupped and teased the other. Angela squirmed under his touch, "Tony, you're going to have me finished before you even get started." She warned.
He smiled into her perfect breast, "That's the idea Angela" he teased. Moving her bra aside he alternated between each breast, tasting, teasing and worshiping each nipple with his tongue and Angela was blown away. Having thought thirty seconds earlier that it couldn't get any better, she had now been proven very wrong as the increased sensitivity of her nipples opened what felt like floodgates down below.
"Tony … please …" she begged in a deep sultry voice that sent him reeling.
"Oh sweetheart, I'm just getting started" he said and Angela nearly lost all will to remain standing, which didn't get any better as he slowly teased her with his tongue leaving behind a trail all the way back down to her panties. Kissing his way across her abdomen just above the lace, he bit down on her panties when he reached her hip and began to slide them down her thighs, then using his hands to lower them the rest of the way down. She looked down at him and saw that he was fully erect and hanging out of his pants, still undone from when she tried to take them off earlier. Her eyes widened with desire, aching to feel him inside of her. But he wasn't quite finished exploring, he wanted to taste her. All of her.
Making his way back to her center, he lifted her left foot up leaving her shorts and panties behind and placed it on his shoulder. "That's better" he hummed, sending another rush of warmth to her core. Leading with his tongue he plunged into her without warning, careful not to touch her most sensitive spot and Angela gasped. Her hands came to rest on his head and she gently pushed him further inside.
"Fuck Tony!" she screamed, her knee shaking.
Further aroused by her reaction, Tony was beginning to feel like he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer."God Angela, I think you could make me cum without even touching my cock. Is that even possible? Because right now I honestly believe it might me!"
As he continued swirling his tongue around inside her, Angela was no longer able to respond or even think coherently for that matter so she just moaned. Slowly pulling out his tongue from inside her, he now began exploring her on the outside searching for her most sensitive spot. 'Mmmm, there you are' he thought to himself as he felt it on the tip of his tongue causing Angela to growl his name. With one hand back on her breast he teased her nipple while two fingers from the other made their way inside her.
"Tony pleeeeeease …" she begged again.
"What's wrong Angela?" he teased.
"Tony …"
"What is it Angela?"
Having had enough of his antics, Angela took both of his hands in hers and brought him back up to a standing position. Dropping to her knees, she took him in her mouth so quickly that Tony didn't even fully grasp what was happening until he was begging her to stop. "Angela no, please stop." if she kept this up, this was going to be over very soon.
"What is it Tony?" she now teased, "What's wrong?" she asked, feigning innocence.
"FUCK!" Tony growled. He pulled himself out of her mouth, grabbed her arms and brought her back up onto her feet and kissed her passionately. With the full length of his body, he gently pressed her up against the rock and slowly pulled her up to straddle him one unbelievably sexy thigh at a time. They both paused for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes as they each looked to the other for a way forward.
"This never happened." she whispers to him before gently kissing his lips.
"This never happened." He whispered back smiling before giving into the unrelenting push from the unseen forces around them.
XXXXXXX
A/N: The next episode was "Ad Man Micelli" and I was always very aware of how jealous Tony was when Angela couldn't be there for Sam's party due to her date and how bothered he was at the thought that she may be staying out all night … to that end … To me, it always felt as though something happened between them at that motel that was kept only between them - much like the fact that she was Ingrid only we didn't get to see it.