A/N: This is my first Zombieland Story. It will on occasion will hop around multiple perspectives including the OC's. Italics represent personal monologue. In the spirit of the movie, Columbus's rules will pop up [Rule#]. There's a less restricted more adult content version on AO3. Same pen name
Welcome to Zombieland. Hello once again. It's been a while since you last saw us. It has been nine months, one week and three days to be exact. Well, you haven't missed much. As you guessed, before leaving Babylon, I married Wichita and Tallahassee married Nevada in the double wedding of the ages. Well, at least according to the folks in Babylon it was. I think what threw us off was the fact the group sex guy was an ordained minister. Sure we don't have the paperwork but it's Z-Land and we're a happy family. Even my sister in law, Little Rock, is happier these days. Anyway, after Tallahassee pulled off the Great American Zombie Jump and we all got married, we went on a brief state to state zombie killing tour for the honeymoons and "Little Rock's dumped the hippy celebration." That's what Tallahassee called it anyway. The Zombies haven't changed and the T-800's are still one of the biggest threats. Now it's time to go home. But instead of the White House, we took a page out of Babylons book and found a newer and higher up place to live. So now you're caught up. Now it's time to claim our new home."
Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock, Tallahassee and Nevada got out of their Suburban that had been armored and had a large Gatling Gun attached to it with a few smaller ones on the hood and Beast II painted on the hood and the number three painted on the sides. It had an enclosed trailer attached. "Eviction time you nasty, flesh eating, fuckers," Tallahassee said with a smile. With that they marched forward with their guns drawn and keeping a distance from each other, as they approached the Seattle Space Needle. From the Suburban they could hear, Sad But True by Metallica blaring.
In only a few steps, a horde of Zombies began charging at them. They split up in different directions and started shooting. Nevada with her magnum, Columbus with his shotgun, Wichita with a miniature assault riffle, and Little Rock with two pistols. Tallahassee however, had a Reapers Scythe and was swinging it with precision. Two decapitated zombies hit the ground while Nevada shot the zombies that were coming at his right, with a smile on her face. Columbus was on top of the Suburban shooting whichever ones he could with his shotgun while Wichita and Little Rock stood back to back shooting as zombies dropped dead all around them.
When Tallahassee saw one coming at Nevada from behind he dropped the Scythe and with a run, he jumped into the air and tackled it before taking a machete off of the holster on his back and shoved it through the zombies mouth. Wichita even threw a knife or two that took down two zombies. One with a blade through the eye and the other through the bridge of it's nose. Just as the song ended they looked around and admired their work. Tallahassee as always, was impressed with himself. Columbus sat down and slid off of the top of the Suburban and to the ground. He looked around and nodded.
"I'd say I did pretty well."
Tallahassee looked at him and scoffed. "Bullshit! You killed... maybe three. If I feel like bein' nice, I'd say maybe... five."
Nevada hit him on the arm. "Come on. He killed at least seven."
Tallahassee rolled his eyes. "Fine but we still won," he said proudly and Nevada kissed him.
Wichita clicked her tongue. "Yea actually, me and Little Rock took down about thirty. Unlike my husband, we were using pistols and knives. Like you said in the rules."
Tallahassee pursed his lips. "Well I get double points because I used my Scythe and killed about seven."
Little Rock looked confused. "Then why did Columbus get to use his shotgun?"
Tallahassee looked at him. "Answer her, Spit Fuck."
Columbus sighed. "Because I'm little rule making bitch," he answered annoyed.
Wichita put her arm around his shoulders. "I still love you."
Little Rock rolled her eyes just as Columbus looked as if he just realized something. "Does anybody else find it weird that Metallica always seems to play when the flesh eaters are taking over or we're taking down a horde of them?"
They all stopped and thought for a moment. Nevada looked more baffled by the question when something caught her eye. She raised her Magnum which alerted the rest of the group who followed suit. What they noticed was two or three bodies quickly moving from behind one tree or pillar to another. Ninja's. As they tried to get lock in on the Ninja's, three more Zombies came from behind.
"Fuck me!" Columbus said. "Hawkings!"
"Shut up and shoot, Spit Fuck!" Tallahassee shouted.
Tallahassee, Nevada and Columbus stood facing the Hawkings while Little Rock and Wichita prepared for the Ninjas. Tallahassee switched to his Mac11 with a smile. Just as quickly as they prepared for battle, the Ninjas were set a flame. As they turned and screamed and growled, they were gunned down with rapid fire. The sisters looked on taken aback as black pickup truck sped out from around the back of the front entrance and ran over the burning Ninjas.
[#2 Double Tap]
The truck drifted around the group and kicked up speed as it hit the three Hawkings. Tallahassee's eyes widened and annoyed he moaned, "Fer fuck sake!" Two of the zombies got back up and were angrier then before.
"Ah! T-800's? Damn it!" Columbus whimpered.
Just as quickly, the door to the truck opened and out hopped a tall, slender man with a blond ponytail wearing all black, including a black trench coat and black fingerless gloves, jumped out wielding a semi automatic riffle and fired at the T-800's just as they had gotten up and dropped them to the ground after shooting out their legs and knees. Which didn't stop them from crawling real fast. He looked at the group and back at the T-800's.
"Are you going to whine and piss your pants or help me kill the damn things?" he shouted.
They all quickly began shooting the T-800's in the head repeatedly until they stopped moving. Tallahassee picked his Reaper Scythe back up and decapitated both of them with one swing. He then turned to the man in the trench coat and gave him an angry and confused look. Nevada looked at him indifferent while the other three looked at him wondering where he had come from. Upon closer look, he had a goatee and appeared to be somewhere between Wichita and Little Rocks age.
He suddenly looked at the sisters and was taken aback himself.
"Christa? You haven't changed a bit." The stranger said happily and then he smiled and looked over the other sister. "Little Rock? Is that you all grown up and filled out?"
They both ran up and hugged him before Wichita looked at him with a smile. "Riverbank? I can't believe it's you."
"Oh great. Not only does this guy show up out of nowhere, my wife and her sister know him. You know what's worse? No, not that he knows my wife's real name but, he's a really good looking guy and an ass kicker like Tallahassee. I don't stand a chance."