"HUHUHAHAHAHAAH."
- Billy Sole
"Scifi Sailor Moon but without enough budget for the whole skirt."
- wind64a describing Chloe's design
"Looks like a low level PSO2 character."
- agesboy describing Chloe's design
"trash fit all around. the dumb thigh straps, the goofy skirt, the way that the outer layer frames the chest in an idiotic way, the weird belt, the two colour sleeves, and finally the shoes that completely clash with everything else in terms of shape. awful."
- FortePlus describing Chloe's design
"It really is an outfit that has no idea what it wants to be other than 'uuuuh girl things?'"
- Edgeknight describing Chloe's design
"Be a mighty shame if she was absorbed into a black hole squid and transformed into a creature of endless horror."
- a totally unrelated comment I made on the Star Ocean subreddit a week ago.
"Hey! Nice stereo!"
- Kimberly Hart
"I beg you now, save me from myself. Time is closing in. There's no one I can turn to."
- Bryan Ferry
Chloe was feeling a little like chlorine. Her revised husk was deposited from the hovering, bloating, slimy, terrifyingly biological Genoxenoyielder Borg (serial number VY 666420) with the sound of a dam exploding on a planet entirely made of water.
She climbed up on her legs (all ten or so of them) in a dizzy stupor as she coughed all the leftover bacteria out of her lungs. Her three rows of six eyes blinked as her slug-like antennae sluggishly adapted to the dry oxygen environment. She was an unimaginable galactic creature comprised of grayish-blue scales, gills, flippers, boneless appendages, disheveled remnants of a swimsuit-styled Lawrence Logistics navigator uniform, and hiking boots. Everything quivered together on a relatively slim human-ish frame standing a little over a meter and a half tall.
Her murky prey-seeking vision honed on the very confused group of people her new instincts said were her enemies. She made her natural sign of aggression by thrusting five of her lower limbs forward and uttering an imposing siren wail. It come out of her mutated windpipes sounding more like a gurgle.
"Ew," DUMA said. Leave it the literal robot to produce the standard expected response.
"What is that thing?" Raymond asked, sword drawn. He apparently didn't recognize the dark blue pixie cut or the incomplete teal miniskirt that conspicuously left the front of the bodysuit open.
"I don't know, but it looks weird," Laeticia replied, shrugging.
The creature slowly unfurled several of her upper limbs into brightly-colored structures resembling water lilies. It would soon become apparent these external organs were multipurpose acid jets / barbed harpoon launchers meant to lure her victims.
"Its evolutionary traits appear to derive from water bugs and deep sea fish," Albaird said astutely.
"It sounds like something from a cheesy monster movie I watched last week," Midas grumbled.
Nina merrily waved her hands together for no particular reason.
"I bet it's something I need to punch to death," said Elena, who was originally slated to have the featured role in a fanfic that followed the same basic premise as "Tarred Muscle" until the author decided he "wasn't feeling inspired enough" and retooled the idea for Final Fantasy VII months later.
Raymond's team had made the fatal mistake of assuming the exotic and highly specialized quilled creature was nothing more than an overgrown sea louse with little intelligence. They charged toward her with their weapons raised as she voluntarily lowered her blood temperature to activate her camouflage membranes.
"You're snickering, Welch. What new toy have you got this time?"
The SphereCorp IT headquarters was just dripping with enthusiasm this afternoon. Blair was a formal woman who ran a very serious operation with her co-owner brother, Luther—It was their job to observe and moderate the development of an entire virtual universe, after all. It would be unsafe to let all those artificial 0's and 1's evolve completely unmoderated, where they could fool themselves into thinking they held any intrinsic when compared against real, physical lifeforms. It was best if they simply lived in obliviousness and weren't allowed to know their real nature at all.
But even a strict business matron could find spare room for humor. Her younger subordinate Welch (very attentive and clever DBA, that girl was) always had a charm for turning the corporation's day to day operations into a wacky sitcom.
"Oh… just some non-playable spaceship lady in a leotard who's not very important to the Simulation's stability." Welch's bubbly voice chirped from the rows of silent network staff working at their illuminated desks. "But I re-coded her so now she's more like an Ordovician period cephalopod. Total grody prehistoric stuff. They'll never figure out advanced beings from a plane of existence higher than their own stupid one are who's really in charge!"
The pigtailed system operator grabbed her sides as her sadistic laughter became unbearable. Her swiveling office chair was liable to tip over backwards and send her pantyhose kicking sky high as she pointed as the hundreds of diagnostic alerts filling her holo-monitor.
"Dear, dear, Welch." Blair shook her head as her violet-glossed lips curled into a wry smile. "The more things change…"
Author's notes:
Better luck next time, slug heads.
The title sounds sorta like Sonia Matas.
Some of my notes spilled directly into the story there for a second. Sorry.
Jeez I hope no one feels that way about my OC Meister Robe designs.
How will you know anime girl luvs you if she doesn't turn into the alien squid queen from the ending to The Faculty?
Did u know the earlier scripts for Godzilla vs. Biollante started off as Godzilla vs. Villain That Sounds a Lot Like Skynet, but then Toho separated all the "Skynet" parts of the story and teamed up with Sunrise to make the movie Gunhed?
Isn't that nice? I turned her into the concept art for Mipha.
Like Teito Moyu, this story also features a very Unlucky Chloe (who started with a design that seems to derive from Sailor Mercury. Odd coincidence.) But that's what being a Teito Moyu is really about, isn't it? You're a hapless cute anime thing and you become the base materials to create another more sinister thing.
What's with that weird Colombian version of Breaking Bad?