The sound of footsteps made its way across the pervasive tranquility of the corridor, followed by the distinct shutting of a door.
As the young man's steps began to echo across the floor, they stopped almost as quickly as they began.
He was simply standing, staring down at the petite spirit who had been holding her head low for the largest part of his waking moments from the start of this morning.
From the height of his initial pose, his frame lowered slowly, but steadily, placing his right hand over the girl's left shoulder.
While perhaps not immediately apparent, the motive behind his gesture was sprung by something that he did not anticipate, up until this day: on any usual day, she would follow his steps across the mansion, even if just for a short while. But this time, she stood almost completely still in the middle of the corridor.
For as unusual as it was, he easily understood the cause, which caused something within the back of his mind to stir.
"I… apologize, but Betty won't be around for most of today, I suppose…"
Beatrice's voice cracked as the words flowed out from between her lips.
In a manner akin to her voice, Subaru's mind felt a blunt pressure crashing down on it.
"...Beako, are you sure that it's alright? I-"
He stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, for he had realized that any further questioning would have only accentuated the semblance of distrust that his behavior was draped in.
Instead, he opted for something far more direct than a mere slew of words, as he held her in a warm, tight embrace, with his left hand caressing her blonde hair.
There were quite a few moments of silence between his gesture and the spirit's surprised reaction, which came in the form of a muffled gasp, after which she returned the favor by wrapping her arms around his torso, as much as her size allowed her to.
"There is no need to worry, Betty will ensure that you are safe and protected no matter what, in fact."
If her previous sentence had kicked up a storm, this one served to quell it.
Breathing in through his nose, and out through his mouth, his tranquility was restored, although it would perhaps be more accurate to say that his facade of it was.
Which was good enough for him, and far more than what he felt he had the right to ask for.
Before he knew it, and most definitely before he wished for it to ever come to pass, Beatrice had slipped out of his arms, and was now taking her leave.
But as she did, Subaru couldn't help but notice the faintest hint of a smile finding its way upon her face.
Quite clearly, a sign of relief, of calm and understanding.
For the first time since he woke up that day, he too felt his lips curling into a smile, a genuine one, not one that he had to put on just to reassure those around him.
Not one he needed to show to ensure those around him wouldn't suspect that something could be wrong.
But he did not have so much time to dwell and dawdle, so after his spirit disappeared behind the corner, he turned and began to walk towards the mansion's lower floor.
And yet, there was still something, that something which had been stirring, tugging at the corners of his head.
From it, a series of inescapable questions manifested itself:
Why did she smile all of a sudden?
Was a hug really all it took to cheer her up, or did something else happen?
Why would she feel the need to tell me that everything
would be fine?
And as those interrogatives came, so did that "something" make itself known to him, a feeling far more familiar than he would have liked.
Guilt.
How could he question one of his closest companions? How could he doubt the person who had promised to stay by his side?
A person who had sworn to keep his secret?
That was it, that was the gnawing, scratching, ever-encroaching doubt that threatened to swallow him whole.
But she was a spirit, promises aren't something they can just break, right?
Right, it wouldn't have made any sense, there was no rationality behind these questions, it was all absurd, why would he even consider them in the first place?
Perhaps, while speaking within the boundaries of hypotheses, it could have been yet another occasion upon which the rules had been bent, twisted and turned upside down on him.
After all, his time at the Sanctuary had taught him that there was still so, so much he did not know about the world he had been transported to, surely it-
"My my, if it isn't the most disgusting of all creatures the one that decided to rear its ugly head this morning!"
Those spiteful words roused him from his rumination, and he could have easily recognized that voice anywhere.
As he turned to face the pink-haired maid to whom that voice belonged, Subaru quickly came to ascertain that, while he was lost in his thoughts, he was already standing at the kitchen's door.
For a few moments, his mind was drawn to Ram's figure, or more precisely, her silhouette.
He had grown to recognize this feeling, the bizarre daydreaming that urged him to pretend that, even if just for a moment… a certain special someone was still there with him, still awake.
Behind her stood a couple of familiar figures, with the tallest of the two being Frederica, who was barely holding back a slight chuckle at her colleague's "tough love", and the shortest being Petra, who was glaring at Ram with barely concealed annoyance.
"Good morning to you too, Ram!"
The boy replied with a small chuckle of his own, mimicking the blonde maid.
"Pfff… good morning!"
Frederica's greeting came as she could barely contain her laughter. The dynamic between Subaru and Ram never ceased to amuse her.
"Good morning Subaru! Miss Ram, why do you have to be so mean to him?!"
Petra's utterance further cemented the overall comical tone of the scene unfolding before his eyes.
Before Ram could reprimand the younger maid, Subaru responded with a quip of his own:
"Worry not, Petra, it is simply Ram's special way of displaying her boundless affection towards me!"
At his words, the oni's expression contorted into one of sheer disgust, grimacing at every syllable.
"I hold NOTHING but contempt for perverts such as you, Barusu, you must have let your position as a knight get to your empty head!"
Everyone around her collectively sighed, seeing that the exchange was going nowhere, as per usual.
"...so, what are you three up to this morning? Is there any way I can help you out?"
The young knight broke the silence, as all three maids focused their gaze upon him.
"Hmmm…well, if you really are so desperate to make yourself useful, the upper floor's corridor still has a few vases that haven't been dusted yet."
Ram replied as she grabbed a feather duster and handed it over to him.
"Get to work immediately, and you, Petra, help him out and make sure he doesn't break anything."
Petra nodded in approval, as she quickly ran to Subaru's side, excitement clearly perceivable in her eyes.
"Awww, it is oh so sweet of you to worry about him, Ram!"
Frederica teased, irony dripping from her every word.
But all she received in response was her colleague's irritated glare.
After yet another round of chuckles, Subaru left the kitchen alongside Petra, as he bade them a good day and promptly moved on to the task that had been assigned to him.
Even if just for a few, short minutes, that conversation had served to bring some manner of peace and quiet to his addled mind.
Those daily interactions, mundane and banal as they might have been, were perhaps the one and only way for him to put his thoughts to rest.
Ram's aggressive and derogatory remarks.
Frederica's warm attitude.
Petra's innocent enthusiasm.
But it wasn't just that, even the simple act of taking care of chores around the mansion felt "therapeutic" to him, no matter how monotonous or straining.
Perhaps, because it allowed him to immerse himself in a simpler world, one of his own imagination, one where there were no elements, both inside and outside of him, that interfered with the flow of his life.
Within those idyllic moments, he could just be an everyday person, going about his routine while surrounded by those who trusted and loved him.
But those were just that, moments.
And soon enough, his mind was dragged, kicking and screaming, back into reality.
All thanks to the distinguishable sound of shattering ceramic, which brought his attention to the fact that, in his unrestricted daydreaming, he had accidentally caused one of the vases to fall over, scattering its remains across a small section of the floor.
"Subaru! Are you alright?"
The little maid's cry quickly reached his ears, as he immediately turned to face her worried expression.
"Worry not, Petra! Everything is perfectly under control! Just keep your distance as I take care of this mess!"
As the words left his mouth, Subaru struck one of his overly dramatic poses, both to give emphasis to what he was saying and in hopes that the ridiculous display would calm down the startled young girl.
As soon as he noticed her nodding, and then silently taking a few steps away from him, the knight kneeled over the scattered shards, beginning to pull them away one by one.
The last one of these, however, caught his attention, it was almost knife-like in its shape, and holding it in his hands made an all too familiar sensation creep up across his body.
He felt an ever increasing itch in his arms, which made him struggle to keep a most… unpleasant urge at bay.
Despite his efforts, his mind could already picture the sharp, painful and yet sickeningly relieving sensation of skin and flesh being torn from his arms.
But this was no time nor place for such things, and so he quickly slipped the piece of ceramic into one of the inner pockets of his clothes, out of sight but easily accessed for a later time.
"Subaru… what are you doing? Are you sure you're alright?"
The young man cursed himself twofold, one for being so careless as to only realize now just how odd his staring at the shard would have been to her, and another for barely containing his dismay at the sound of the second question posed to him. While the concern in and of itself was appreciable, if not natural, the fact that those words tempted him with breaking his facade was almost unbearable.
But he knew he couldn't, no matter how much his conscious was screaming at him to let go and pour his heart out, he was far, far too afraid of what would come to pass, had his secret been brought into the light.
"W-why, yes! Of course, Petra! Y-you see, it's… just a habit from my homeland! When someone is about to clean up a mess they've made, it is considered… uh… good practice to contemplate our mistake and keep a… memento of it, so that person will be more careful next time!"
There a few, torturous moments of silence between his… explanation and Petra's reply.
"Hmmm… if you say so, but…"
His muscles tensed up, and his heartbeat began to quicken.
"...but?"
She simply shrugged, then began making her way back towards the kitchen.
"No… it's nothing, sorry Subaru, but I think I should be going back now, we're done cleaning here and Frederica will get strict if I take too long… see you later!"
"O-oh… alright then! Have a nice day Petra! See you later!"
That was rather unusual.
She typically would take every chance to spend as much time as possible with him.
Why would she simply leave like that?
She wasn't really convinced by his lie, was she?
Of course she wasn't, what an utter fool he was!
Couldn't he have thought of a better excuse?
If only he had been more careful, this could have been avoided!
A whirlpool of thoughts yelled out across the landscape of his brain, threatening to drag him further and further downwards.
His teeth gritted behind his lips, his hands clenched into fists, his back and his leg as stiff as a plank of wood, one could have mistaken him for a misplaced statue, if looked at from a certain distance.
"There's no time for this, I have to move on, move on, move on…"
He whispered to himself, trying to focus on the next part of his daily routine.
Right, he had to meet up with Garfiel, surely he would have some manner of strenuous physical training to put himself through.
Without any further thought, not any that he wished to pay attention to at least, he marched onward.
But while he may have been trying to ignore them, doubts were still nagging at him.
Still pestering him.
Still fighting for his focus, for his attention.
Still pulling and tearing at the seams of his sanity.