After making my report to Captain Forrest and wrapping up the episode as a regrettable case of 'human error', I spend the rest of the day in a state of pleasurable anticipation.
Everything seems to go splendidly. There's still hope that Commander Tucker will be at least partially blinded (Phlox apparently can't take the dressings off for a day or two, but I keep my fingers crossed), and I find three instances of incorrectly filling in a report that merit an hour in the Agony Booth for each of the culprits – and I don't care what you think, commas in the right place are important.
Take Ensign Almack's report, for example. I'm sure I would have learned about his and Ensign Kimball's cannibalising Ensign O'Malley well before Almack filed his report – I mean, a degree of unpleasantness towards your colleagues is practically mandatory on an Imperial warship, but turning them into a consumable is a bit noticeable even here. On the other hand, if he meant 'After eating Ensign O'Malley…' in the sexual context, there's security software that monitors for such activity, compares the timing to the duty roster and flags for review anything that happens when an individual is on the clock; and while many of the Enterprise crew fuck like rabbits, most of them (knowing the potential consequences of dereliction of duty) manage to restrict the satisfying of those very natural impulses to off-duty hours. Of course, I've written a bit of code to exclude myself from automatic monitoring as I've found sex to be such a useful interrogation tool that I tend to employ it rather often, combining business with pleasure as you might say. Anyway, whether Almack might have intended cannibalism or cunnilingus, that missing comma points to two much more serious offenses than a simple typo, and once you start treating punctuation without the proper respect, you see what confusion can lead to? This particular instance resulted in me wasting several minutes debating whether Ensign O'Malley was still alive to be a valid member of the duty roster or whether Ensign Almack and Ensign Kimball had been carried away by their youthful enthusiasm while on duty, and all because Almack was careless about commas.
I don't care if you think I'm a grammar purist. By the time the good Ensign crawls out of the Agony Booth tomorrow, he'll be a lot more careful to double-check his reports and not make me waste time trying to decipher what he actually means.
Once I come off duty I eat a light meal with plenty of protein and do just enough in the gymnasium to feel loose and energised. Then – with an anticipation that's greater than I ever remember before – I summon Crewman Cutler.
She's learned on previous occasion that I'm not good at being kept waiting. It's only a few minutes before the chime sounds.
"Come," I call, lying back on my bunk with my arms folded behind my head.
I've saved her the bother of taking most of my clothes off. What I've left isn't nearly enough to hide how delighted I am to see her.
As soon as she steps inside I know she's heard about Roberts. (Well, considering I tap into every vein of the rumour mill around here and it's thrumming with the news, it would be a miracle if she hadn't.) Her face is grey with fear, her eyes huge.
"I believe a friend of yours has had an unfortunate accident," I say lightly.
She wets her lips with her tongue. "I – I heard it was a phase pistol malfunction."
"Oh, no." I shake my head, smiling. "Phase pistols from my department don't malfunction. Crewman Roberts decided that pointing one at himself and pulling the trigger was ultimately a better option than being convicted of treason."
"Treason!"
"I'm afraid there's no other explanation. Failing to properly maintain the ship's safety systems – especially when it leads to the serious injury of one of her senior officers – is a crime against the Empire. The penalties would have been very severe. Not just for him, but for his family too," I explain, more in sorrow than in anger. "And, of course, suspicion could easily alight on anyone suspected of conspiring with him. Anyone found … whispering with him in a corridor, for instance."
I'd honestly have thought it was impossible for her to get any paler, but she manages it.
"As the Head of Security, I'm naturally obligated to investigate every possibility," I purr, beckoning her closer. "I may decide to … overlook certain potentially suspicious incidents, in return for active proof of the participant's absolute loyalty."
I taught Roberts not to dally with my property. It seems I may have to teach my property not to dally with traitors, too.
It's many hours later that I finally thrust the last of my heat into Cutler's body. She's pinned underneath me, gasping and whimpering with pain. Blood is still trickling from her cut mouth.
I lean even closer, my breath still coming fast and hard.
"Is there anyone you'd like to call on for help?"
The End.