El,

One of my biggest regrets is how much time I wasted because I just assumed you weren't going to like me. I've never had a female friend before, and I sort of assumed I never would. I just didn't think I fit with other girls, my mom and Neil were always telling me how different I was, that I didn't act the way I was supposed to. Mostly I knew that was bullshit, but there was a part of me that couldn't help thinking maybe they were right. So after you brushed me off, I never bothered to try again even though I knew it was a complicated situation. I just figured we wouldn't like each other, which was fine, you had Mike to hang out with and I had Dustin and Lucas, so it all worked out. Nothing to worry about. I couldn't have been more wrong.

That day at the mall, before everything went to shit, was one of the best days of my life. In my opinion the best thing Mike has ever done is go awol that day, and I'll always be grateful that I proposed the idea even though at the time I was pretty sure it'd just end up being an awkward shopping trip. I know I talked a lot about how you needed a girl friend, that you spent to much time around guys, but the truth is I did too. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with Lucas and Dustin, but there was something so refreshing about hanging out with you. I didn't feel like I had to prove myself or constantly worry that I might do something to "girly" and end up getting teased (Dustin was relentless when he saw the pictures). I could just relax and have fun, and there was something really satisfying about how happy you were too. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you always seemed so withdrawn and quiet before that, it was nice to see you just being excited and having fun.

Not that there's anything wrong with being quiet! I actually really admire how you only speak up when you actually have something to say and the way you're always analyzing everything around you. I know part of that is just because you're still sort of adjusting to normal life, but it's okay if you're also just quiet. I wish I was more like that sometimes. I've never been able to keep my mouth shut, no matter how much trouble it's going to get me into. I'm always rushing into things or snapping at whoever happens to be around even if it isn't actually their fault. Don't get me wrong, I know you have a temper too, but usually you can direct it at people who actually deserve it.

Please remember there is more to life then Mike Wheeler. I get why you like him, I'm not going to try and talk you out of it, but if he's being a dick or you're just not feeling it anymore you don't have to stay with him. I know you guys have been through a lot, but you don't owe him anything. You're amazing and if Mike is to caught up in himself to see that, then screw him.

Man, I wish you were here. I know that's not possible, and I don't blame you for not being, or Joyce for wanting to get away from Hawkins, but I miss you like crazy. I'm not an idiot, even if you were here it wouldn't change anything, but I still wish you were. That being said, don't you dare start blaming yourself for what happened. I know you think you have to protect all of us, but even if you had your powers you couldn't have stopped this. Vecna is in my head, he doesn't have a physical body and we have no idea where to find him, so powers or not there wasn't anything you could have done. It isn't your fault, okay? You didn't know, and there wasn't time to do anything, none of that's on you. I know by the time you get this you'll be back with the others and more then ready to kick Vecna's ass, and I'm sure you're more then capable of giving him hell, but remember it's not all on you. Friends look out for each other, it's not weakness to let the others look out for you sometimes. I wish I'd learned that sooner.

I've always been so impressed by you, right form the moment we met. You're strong, stronger then I think even you realize, and that didn't come from magic powers, it came from you. I feel like I took it on myself to show you new things and teach you about stuff the guys had neglected, but I hope it never came off as condescending or teachery. For what it's worth you taught me a lot too, way more important stuff then who Wonder Woman is or the wonders of video games. You showed me that strength doesn't come form being large, it can come form anywhere. So thank you. And never doubt yourself. The others will, but they don't mean anything by it, they're just trying ot make sure you're safe. But you know your limits better then anyone else. Trust yourself. I do.

God there's so much more I want to say. I want so badly to just keep writing, to talk to you about movies or books, about everything that's happened. I would kill to just be lying on your bedroom floor talking about anything right now. I'd even be willing ot let you go on and on about Mike. But none of that really matters now, and I'm running out of time and I still have other letters I have to write. So I know it'll be hard, but you need to find someone else to talk about that stuff with, okay? Someone other then your boyfriend. Will, Lucas, or Dustin would all probably be more then willing, but it's okay if it's not one of them. You showed me how important it is to have someone you can talk to about anything, so please try to find someone like that again. And thank you, for being that person for me.

Love,
Max

P.S. - My comics are in a box under my bed and my cassette are in the top drawer of my dresser. Don't let the guys take them, they either already have them or won't appreciate them the way they should.