Beckett's Nightmare.

An AU story during the early stages of Kate and Rick as a couple.

A/N: Just a little short that popped into my head late one night.

All standard disclaimers apply

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Kate Beckett was staring at herself in the mirror. She couldn't help but feel a bit of excitement. She was standing in Rick Castle's en suite bathroom off his impressive bedroom in his equally impressive loft.

She bit on her lower lip as she finished brushing her long brunette locks in preparation for second night spent in Castle's unbelievably large and comfortable bed. And she was looking forward to it.

Since that first night when a rain soaked Kate came to Castle's door and threw herself at him, they had spent all their nights at her apartment. She had walked away from her job, and had finally came to a realization that in the order of importance in her life, she wanted Rick Castle to be first.

After convincing her to go back and make amends with Captain Gates and graciously accept her suspension, they spent the next several nights at her place. It had allowed her to regain who she was in her mind, but Rick's presence emphasized that things were now different. It was her hope that she was finally on a path that would give her a feeling of wholeness even if she never caught her mother's killer.

Rick was the one person who could make her feel that she, Kate Beckett, and not just Detective Beckett had value and a reason to be, beyond just chasing ghosts from the past.

Now, there were only a few days left of her suspension, and they had decided to go back to the loft and have a fancy dinner that both of them prepared together. And after… well after would take care of itself.

Both had been over stuffed with all the food they'd consumed at that one sitting. Both had wanted to show off their prowess in the kitchen so there had been a variety of delightful choices to sample.

Now, after spending some time making out on the couch, they had made their way into the bedroom. She really looked forward to spending another night on that magic bed of his. It was literally the most comfortable mattress she'd ever slept on. Not that a lot of actual slumber was ever achieved.

Now they were both in their sleep wear. Coincidently they were both wearing T-shirts and a pair of his boxers. They were both sitting up with their backs against the padded headboard. He had his arm around her, pulling her tight against him. She had her head on his shoulder.

Finally Kate found herself releasing a long sigh.

"What's wrong?" Rick turned to look at her.

She smiled. "Nothing, I was just thinking of my mom. On how excited she'd be to know that her little problem child would grow up and catch the attention of Richard Castle."

Castle choked out a laugh. "No, really." Kate quickly admonished him. "She would love you."

Castle preened a bit. "Well, you've said that she read my books."

Kate chuckled. "She read ALL your books. She even stood in line one time to have one of her books signed by you."

Castle shook his head. "Now that's two Beckett women who've been to my signings and I don't remember it."

Kate laughed. "No reason for you to. I doubted that my mother had you sign her breast, and I know that I certainly didn't."

Castle kissed her cheek. "Would you let me now?"

Kate slapped his hand. "No way Jose. And you are never going to be doing it to any woman ever again." She then lifted his hand and kissed where she slapped him. "Your days of such sleazy attention getting actions are over."

Castle grinned. "That's okay. I have better things I plan to do with your breasts then writing on them with a sharpie."

She nibbled his ear. "Good to know."

She turned and crawled up onto him, and started what was going to be a long night of passion like she'd never experienced in her life… until the next time.

A very spent Kate lay on her back listening to the soft breathing of her partner who she'd finally managed to tire out. She knew that sleep would catch up with her soon, but she couldn't help but smile. She had to believe what she was feeling was love. It couldn't be anything else. If she could admit it to herself, maybe she'll be able to admit it to Rick.

She snuggled up to Castle and laid her head on his chest. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

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Kate found herself waking in surroundings that she didn't recognize. She must be in some sort of dream world. She sat up and noticed that the ground she'd been laying on was soft to her touch and provided a surface not unlike a comforting quilt.

She stood and looked around her. She was completely confused. She seemed to be outside, but exactly where she had no idea. A glowing orb hung high in the sky, but while it provided a warmth that enveloped one like a warm blanket there wasn't any of the harshness that a noon sun could send down on one.

Kate could see a patch of green and a canopy of green leafed trees surrounding an outcropping of large red and purple boulders which served as the basin for a sparkling pond. Just the peaceful appearance of the spot was enough to draw her to it.

As she got closer she saw that the pond was filled with swans, herons, and other exotic species of birds that she had no knowledge of. The riot of color on the deep blue water drew her eyes like a magnet to metal. It was beautiful.

As she got closer, she was able to see a gleaming white bench next to the pond and sitting on that bench was a dark haired woman dressed in a simple pale blue robe with a sash of gold.

Kent was only a few yards away when recognition caused her to stumble.

"Mom?" She forced herself to walk instead of running.

Kate quickly sat next to the woman and reached out and took her hands in hers. "I don't believe it. Mom, it is you." Kate looked around her. "Am I dead? Is there really a heaven?"

The woman looked up and smiled. "Hello Katie, It's nice to see you."

Kate shook her perfectly styled and curled locks. "I don't understand. Why am I here? Have I died in my sleep?"

The Johanna sitting next to Kate patted her hands. "No dear, you are dreaming."

Kate looked around her again. "Wow, who'd think I'd come up with a dream like this?"

The woman smiled and pulled her hands back and placed them in her lap. "I'd say that you must have had a reason to want to talk to your mother, Katie."

Kate chewed on her lip, then broke out in a big smile. "Oh mom, I think this is it. I think I'm really in love with my one and done."

The woman frowned. "Oh? And how do you know that he is the one. You've made that mistake more than once already. What about Brent, or that Rogan idiot. Then there was Will, who walked out on you, and the doctor, who was such a humanitarian that he had no time for you."

Kate returned the frown. "Mom, you know who I'm with now. It's Richard Castle, I thought you'd be thrilled for me. I know you've always liked his books. I know you use to follow the rag mags to find out what was going on in his life."

Johanna turned away from Kate, then turned back with a sigh. "Those rags were just pandering to get sensational headlines and up their circulation."

Kate nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I know that now. He's a wonderful man. He's a great father, he cares for his mother, and he says he loves me, me Kate Beckett."

The woman patted Kate's hands. "Oh, I know you are excited baby, and there is no doubt that Rick Castle could turn any woman's head. Hell, he's Rick Castle! Oops, I shouldn't have said that."

Kate smirked. "I know he's Rick Castle, and he wants me!"

"Oh honey, it might seem like that, but you have to be realistic. He's Richard Castle, you're just little Katie Beckett. Yes you are a beautiful woman, but the physical is not going to be enough to hold onto a man like Rick Castle."

Kate sent a glare at her mother. "Mom, are you saying that I'm not good enough for Castle?"

"I'm trying to not have to say it sweetheart, but let's be realistic. Rick Castle needs someone who is fun, someone who likes to live her life to the fullest. Now, really, is that you Katie?"

Kate pouted. "It could be. But I do have a serious job, and while I'm on a case it's not generally the time for fun and frivolity."

Johanna's eyes crinkled with a slight amusement. "No, it's not. And while it's a noble enough occupation, it's not what you had originally planned for your life… is it?"

Kate stared at the pond. "You know why I became a cop."

Johanna nodded. "Yes I do, and what I'm saying is, that is not the kind of life that a man like Rick Castle should have to deal with. He was put on the earth to bring happiness and joy to people."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Mother, you should know as well as anyone what Castle does for a living."

"Yes, he uses his talents to entertain people. Give them a little diversion from their dull boring lives."

"And he still does." Kate grumps. "It's just that he's able to give it even more realism and pathos by being my partner and seeing what really goes on during a murder investigation."

Johanna frowned again. "And that's needed why? It was Mr. Castle's talent at building likable characters who do good deeds because they are good people. Not because they are motivated by a tragic past that taints their soul and cries for vengeance."

Kate crossed her arms across her chest. "What about justice?"

"For who? If you drag Rick Castle down into that rabbit hole with you what do you gain? I'm still dead, and you've just shown a good man that the world that he likes to show his fans, where good always wins and evil is always punished. You Katie, are a cop and know that's not true."

Kate refused to let her beliefs be dismissed. "What about closure for the family. The comfort that they will gain knowing the person who took their loved one away has been caught and will be punished."

Johanna gave Kate a familiar raised brow. "And that happens how often. Is it closure to see the person who created such a wound in your life walk away with little more than a slap on the wrist?"

Kate shook her head. "That's not always true. In fact, it doesn't really happen all that often."

Johanna shrugged. "But it happens enough… doesn't it."

Kate had a few tears sliding down her cheeks. "So what? My life is a waste. That I shouldn't try to right grievous wrongs where ever I find them? That my life is a total waste of time?"

Johanna placed her hand on Kate's cheek and wiped away a few tears. "No, people like you are needed. You hold the line between good and those who do evil. And I'm proud of the work you do. But in doing it, you become a person who has to live in the dark much of the time. You can't spend your life looking into the darkness without acquiring shadows on your soul."

"So what you're saying is," Kate bites down on her lower lip. "That by being with me, Rick is being brought into a world that he really isn't built for, and the longer he is with me, the more shadows he would acquire on his soul." Kate swallows a lump caught in her throat. "That Rick, because of the wonderful, generous, loving man that he is, if he stays with me, I'll eventually taint him with the darkness that I live with every day?"

Johanna reaches out and squeezes Kate's hand. "I'm sorry, baby."

Kate was crying fully now. She squeezed her mother's hand back. "No, I should thank you. I do love Rick very much. I love him enough to realize that you are right. And no matter what my heart might want my feelings for him can't overrule my intellect. I can't let my love for him lead to his destruction. If I truly love him, I have to let him go."

Johanna put her arms around Kate and hugged her. "I know it will be hard honey, but you are strong and you care. You will be able to do what is best for both of you."

Kate pulled back and looked at her mother with watery eyes. "And how is this what's best for me?"

"You will be saving someone you love."

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"Kate, wake up Kate!"

Kate could feel someone holding her so she began to fight them. She was thrashing around in a fugue state between sleep and waking. The grip around her chest grew tighter.

"Kate, you have to wake up. You're going to hurt yourself. Wake up Kate, please."

Finally she found herself regaining a level of consciousness where she began to recognize her surroundings. She was in bed, and she was crying while Castle held onto her as she slowly began to become aware.

"Kate, you are having a nightmare. Come on, wake up for me love."

Kate suddenly drew in several deep breaths. She swiveled her head back and forth, her long locks slapping her in the face. She felt someone's strong arms around her.

She got control of herself enough to be able to raise her hand and wipe the tears out of her eyes. She looked around and saw she was in a bedroom. A familiar bedroom. She turned toward the owner of the arms around her.

"Castle?"

"I'm right here, Babe. You were having a bad dream." There was a weak chuckle. "And from your reaction, I'd say it was a doozy of a nightmare."

Kate leaned her head on Rick's shoulder. "It was just a dream?"

Rick shuffled himself back against the padded headboard and pulled her into his lap. Her head was now laying back on his chest.

"From the way you were thrashing as I tried to wake you up, I'd guess it was not a pleasant dream."

Kate held her silence and hiccupped a couple of times. The dream was burned into her mind, and she felt sick to her stomach. She took one of the hands around her waist and began playing with her fingers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Castle's free hand began rubbing up and down her arm.

"No." She shook her head. Rick smoothed her hair back away from her face.

"You don't have to. But often if you talk about it in the light of day, you'll realize that it has no power over you."

Kate grumped. "What? You are my therapist now?"

Rick chuckled. "Who knows, if I get tired of this writing gig, maybe I'll change professions."

Kate's body suddenly went ridged and she slapped his hand. "Don't you dare! Don't you ever think about not sharing your gift with your faithful readers. You owe it to them to continue to bring a little joy and entertainment to their lives."

Castle stared down at the top of Kate's head. "Okay?"

He began to blow swirlys in her hair. She swatted at him, but missed. "Stop that."

Rick glanced at the clock on the night stand. "It's still pretty early, do you want to try and go back to sleep?"

"No!" She nearly hyperventilated. "No, I'm good." She tried to pull out of his grasp. "Maybe I'll just take a nice hot shower."

He didn't let go. "Kate, tell me what's wrong."

She leaned back against him again. "I had a bad dream."

Castle chuckled. "That much I was able to guess."

Kate took in a couple deep breaths. "I dreamt of my mother."

"Oh." He didn't push.

"I was asleep, when I suddenly woke up and found myself in an Elysium type paradise. It was peaceful, warm, and comforting. I saw a deep blue pool with many species of water fowl swimming around. There was a bench and a woman sitting on that bench. It was my mother."

Rick had to hold back from asking questions. He knew that Kate wasn't one who practiced any particular religious doctrine, but he was pretty sure she hoped that her mother was at peace.

"She looked just like she had the last time I saw her at breakfast that morning. Only she was wearing a blue robe with a golden sash." Kate leaned back and smiled at Rick. "Take about clichés."

Rick rubbed both Kate's arms. "I'm confused. I would've thought that a conversation with your mother wouldn't have led to you to have such an extreme nightmare. What else happened?"

Kate sighed. "We just talked. I told her that you and I had become a couple, and how happy I was. I expected her to be thrilled for me. But the conversation didn't quite go in the direction I thought it would."

Castle shrugged. "Well, mothers are always protective of their little girls. So she wasn't as thrilled as you thought she would be about me?"

Kate allowed a weak laugh past her throat. "It wasn't you she had a problem with. She absolutely loves you. It's me she's not too thrilled with."

"I don't understand."

"I'm over simplifying. She knows what I do and how working as a cop, dealing with murderers and being exposed to all that darkness, as she called it. She is proud of my dedication to find and do what can be done to foil evil in the world."

Castle nodded. "So am I."

Kate intertwined her fingers with his. "But my mother thinks the world I live in, the darkness I wade in, leaves shadows, or stains on my soul. And she's concerned how that is going to affect you. How it could change you. You would become less the bright, caring person that you are and become more like me. Suspicious, closed off, a loner with little trust for others. She feels that your interactions with someone like me will eventually destroy who you really are, and were always meant to be."

Castle dropped his chin on her head. "Your 'mother' seems to hold me a fairly high esteem, but doesn't have a lot of faith in my ability to maintain who I am in the face of this 'darkness' you supposedly live in." Castle turned Kate's face toward his. "Does she know we've been doing this together for several years now?"

Kate shrugged. "Well, of course she does, but…" He reached around a put his finger over her mouth.

"Do you know what I think?" Castle set her beside him.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I've know you for all these years and I still haven't a clue what goes through the maze that you call your brain."

He chuckled. "I think this dream was because someone is allowing her fear of committing to something she's never really had before. So she comes up with excuses why it shouldn't work."

Rick pulls her head back onto his chest. "You're afraid of being happy because you haven't been happy since your mother died, and you think you don't deserve to be happy because you haven't solved her murder yet. You don't believe you can ever be happy until that happens."

Kate growls. "Who are you, Sigmund Freud?"

Rick chuckled. "I hate to burst your tightly held Beckett bubble, but you aren't all that complicated, Kate." He kissed her cheek. "You are an incredible person Kate Beckett and every day I stand in awe of your strength and determination. But as long as your mother's case remains unsolved, you consider yourself a failure, and no one would want to be with a failure like you. So you make up excuses, take on boyfriends you don't love because it's easier to end a relationship that never had a chance. And you hide behind this shield you erect so nobody can see that there is a vulnerable but wonderful woman there."

Kate wipes her eyes again. "I hate you."

Castle chuckles. "No you don't. I love you, and I think you love me too."

Kate begins to pick at Rick's shorts. "Yeah," she sighs. "I kind of do."

Castle leaned in and kissed her hard and long on the lips. "Either we will solve your mother's murder, or we won't. But the success or failure to do so, has nothing to do with who you are, or who we will be. I've been blessed enough to have found you, and I promise I'm not letting you go."

Kate was playing with her own fingers. "What if I try to do something stupid again?"

Rick smiled. "Well, it's a good thing that I'm just smart enough to not be fooled by that. And I'm certainly not stupid enough to let you go."

Kate looked up into his earnest blue eyes. "So where does that leave us."

Castle grinned. "Well, right now it leaves us together in this very comfortable bed, and I can think of things we should be doing in this bed that would be much more enjoyable that talking."

Kate bit at Rick's ear. "I like the way you think."

Fade to black with some giggling in the background.

Fin

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