During class, Jessie asked if I planned to go to the Winter Wonderland dance. She was going with Mike, something that still made her light up. I told her I might go, but I wasn't super into socializing in big groups.

She said a lot of people went alone and obviously she would hang out with me. She wasn't going to ditch me the whole time. "Just the slow songs."

I agreed to go if Angela went.

Eric didn't attend dances, apparently his mom "knew better."

Angela ended up telling me no, with such a firm look on her face I almost laughed. When I asked Jessie about it later, she said Angela was going to be out of town that night.

I relented in going, just because Jessie looked so unhappy no one else would be around. Since the school was so small, other people would be there. I would have people to talk to.

That night I told my dad about the dance and he told me I should go.

He insisted I do "whatever voodoo women do" to get pretty. He had offered to get my hair done if I needed.

"It's not a big budget, but I will pay for it," Dad said.

"I will keep it reasonable Dad," I said.

He patted me on the head. "I want you to have good memories," he said softly.

"I do." I said. "I am really happy here."

When I was done bawling like a baby in the bathroom, I called Jessie. She nearly burst my eardrum cheering.

"Okay, I know a really good discount dress place we can do," Jessie said. "My Mom said I am getting one expensive dress and that's gonna be prom. So we can go to Port Dresses. I found one for under fifty and people thought it was designer."

"Cool. Um, I can't do nails and hair... I don't normally do that kind of stuff."

Jessie said we would have to go to her Aunt's place. It was pretty reasonable and she did the best work. Nails, hair, make-up.

"Aunt Claire is good at everything," Jessie said.

"It's a date then," I said. "I have to ask Dad if it's okay. Can you get like… a quote? Whatever it is. The price it would be?"

"Sure. I'll text you."

I didn't really understand the heat in my chest until I burst into tears yet again.

I was allowed to just... be happy. Without strings. Without my mother yelling at me, making me feel bad. Without guilting someone else into paying for me, by just existing.

I wasn't an emotional orphan here.

I had family.

I had friends.

That thought made me cry harder.