Henry
Today was full of mixed emotions. A really good man was killed because of his PTSD. Suicide by cop. Elizabeth and I had a meaningful conversation about it and I was gutted to learn that she still suffers. I should have been more aware but after those first few weeks of her coming home from Iran it seemed to be a non issue. We both threw ourselves into our work, I began doing more intense intelligence work and she became so busy. I thought she was fine. I forgot that she copes with loss and fear by projecting calm, acting fine. Then the kids threw a lot at us, Dmitri Petrov entered our lives and Elizabeth seemed even more capable than before. She did not want to bring the trauma into the house. That she felt she had to be so strong all the time, I want to make that up to her. I don't know that I can. She is protective of me and the kids. She has always been so determined that we be so normal. Yet as she says these words to me I couldn't help but marvel that she is the President. She went from being virtually unknown to President inside of 6 years. She put her head down and made it happen. Can I ever express to her how much I am in awe of her? She's the mother of my children. She's my best friend. She's been through so much since Conrad showed up at the farm that cold Saturday. She is tough because she chooses to be tough. The conversation I wanted to have this afternoon was about her getting drunk on blue beer. I wanted to tease her a little. She's sexy when she's tipsy. She's also really cute. Blake couldn't resist sharing the story with me and I was going to have a little fun with her tonight. Hell maybe I still will. After today we will both need that. Instead I swallowed hard and I told her she can tell me anything. She repeated the same to me. I thought we had great conversations but apparently no matter how close you are, some things are still very hard to discuss.
...
Elizabeth beat me to it. By the time I got to our bedroom that night I was just hoping to have a few laughs with her about being drunk at lunch. Instead I walked into a blue lid special. The sheets were blue, her pajamas were blue. Her eyes were full of mirth. She handed me a glass of blue lid beer and she stuck out her tongue for me. "I know Blake and Daisy told you about my lunch " she said with a grin. I admitted the truth and she grinned wickedly. "I spent half an hour trying to clean my tongue and face after sleeping off a midday drunk. I have the secret for getting this stuff off but I am not sharing that until you are all begging me for it." She took a swig and gave me a Smurf-like smile. Her phone rang. She answered very sweetly. "Blake, I really am busy. But you could call Senator Peeples. His number is 555-2583. Tell him I gave it to you. He prefers to hear from people after 10pm. Yes you are forgiven for telling Henry. Or you will be by the time you come in tomorrow. Goodnight Blake." Oh I know this, she was embarrassed and now she's owning it. She turns on the stereo and the strains of bluegrass music fill the residence. She kissed me soundly and wound me me up. Then she took me to bed where we had a very satisfying evening reconnecting as a couple. Afterwards we snuggled and she confessed that she had nearly been in a photo with some highland dancers with a blue lip, tongue and of course - drunk. She said that Senator Peeples had no reason to embarrass her like that except to humiliate her publicly. Her point was that she was expecting to share one glass of low alcohol beer; Not to look like an idiot during the work day. "What if I hadn't run into Daisy? What if a reporter had seen me? What if Mike or Russell needed me to testify or go to the sit room?" I felt bad for her. I was ashamed of myself. She is cute when she is tipsy as my wife, as my friend. Her point about being a blue- tongued President is a good one. Would any of us find this hilarious if it had happened to Conrad ? I apologized to her and she snuggled in. "On the one hand I get that I am a woman and can find humour in these types of incidents. If the worst had happened we have established, many millions of times, that I can apologize and accept consequences. I estimate that embarrassment is an emotion I deal with nearly every day, on some level. But Henry, why do some folks just enjoy seeing me like that?" I sighed " Babe, I enjoy teasing you in small doses because you are adorable when you blush and because you are so on top of things 99.9 percent of the time. I mess up daily. The kids do it hourly sometimes. Today I wasn't a great husband. I thought it was cute. I never considered the impact it could have had on your image. I think Blake and I have known you for so long that we love the silly moments. The human moments. I apologize to you as my wife, as my President and I'll wager if you have a chat with Blake it will never happen again. I'll let you tell me about the silly things and Blake and I can go back to worrying about your safety." She nodded and added "I check in with Evan about how you are doing too" she admitted. I smiled, and told her I suspected as much. I told her I loved her but that sometimes love was imperfect and thoughtless. She agreed and she copped to the same. Her first year as President was going to be full of surprises. Some perks, a lot of work and apparently a lot of work on the glass ceiling. I reminded her that her vulnerability was why she getting things done, how she rolled back the gas tax and took the hit that Conrad never would have. I also told her how she might be changing the worldview on how men are perceived. I am the first FGOTUS. Her assistant is bisexual, her Press Secretary is a young single mom and a woman of colour. Her Vice President is the man she fought with tooth and nail for years. She hugged me and smiled. "So what you are saying is embrace everything because it's new, be open about my feelings and be tough and vulnerable. Babe I am going to need better breakfasts than egg white frittata's and cashew cheese. Oh and Blake is back to feeding me muffins." I chuckled. "How do I know Senator Peeples is going to learn not to embarrass you again?" She grinned. " I am just going to show up and do my job everyday and let that speak for itself. If Blake called him tonight that's more than enough fun at his expense." I laughed. "Sweetheart you told Blake to dial 555-Blue; is that really the number?" She looked impressed "You got me FGOTUS, that one was for Blake. Who is very resourceful. He'll have a cure for blue lip, tongue and teeth before bed. I made him sweat a bit and as his boss and his friend he'll see the fun in it in about ten years. It's Trevor I feel bad about, but collateral damage is a bitch" she drawled.
...
The rest of the week was somber. We attended Brad Jenkins' funeral and his words finally reached the ears of the committee. VA modernization is happening and we named the Bill after him. His wife and children took some comfort in that. The Jenkins name has left a legacy, and it's more than just about how sick Brad was.
Most of us now know how to get Blue Lid off the tongue and lip. But Morejon does not. So I toasted Brad with Carlos and Peeples. Elizabeth now says she never wants to see another bottle of coloured beer as long as she lives; and for some reason Morejon wants to take me out for lunch this week. Something about cheeseburgers, forgiveness and my wise and patient wife. I will drink to that.