Past

Shannon is Eddie's past. The first person he ever fell in love with. The mother of his son. She will always be a significant part of their lives.

The first time Eddie saw her, it wasn't love at first sight. He doesn't believe in love at first sight. Love takes time and patience and is built on trust and mutual experiences.

Lust at first sight is another thing altogether though. He can clearly remember the first time Shannon walked into his dad's office building on her first day of work. Her smile was magnetic and her laugh was intoxicating. She dominated his every waking (and sleeping) thought after that.

It still took him two weeks to work up the nerve to talk to her and that was only after they were assigned to work on a project together. Luckily for him, Shannon didn't stop talking to him after they finished that project. She kept hanging out with him. She introduced him to her friends and she won his friends over immediately. His friends made it clear that if he screwed this up, they were kicking him out of the group and keeping her around instead. His family even approved of her back then. And it still took him another three weeks to officially ask her out.

Their first date was to an outdoor movie in the park. She'd mentioned once that When Harry Met Sally was one of her favorite movies and she'd been horrified that he'd never seen it. So it seemed like a good choice for a first date. (It was, even if parts of it made them both blush when they looked at each other).

They fell fast and hard for each other after that. They started building a life together. When Shannon got pregnant it seemed like the natural choice to get married and live happily ever after. It didn't matter how young they were. He wanted the rest of his life with her to start right away.

He knows now that their love was real, but it wasn't enduring and it wasn't meant to last forever. It didn't give them room to grow as individuals and it certainly didn't allow them to grow together as a couple. They were too young and they moved too fast. He has a lot of regrets about the end of their relationship and the choices he made while they were married. He hopes he's learned from those mistakes.

He still misses her and it hurts like hell to think about her sometimes. Her absence hurts the most when Christopher reaches another milestone that Shannon should be celebrating alongside them. He hurts for Christopher not having his mom there because they lost her too soon. But enough time has passed that he can remember Shannon without feeling like there's a vice around his heart all the time. He used to plaster a fake smile on his face whenever Christopher asked about her because the only thing worse than grieving her loss was the fear of making Christopher think he had to stop asking about his mom because it made his dad too sad. Now the smiles are genuine whenever Christopher asks about Shannon and Eddie gets to revisit his memories of her through Christopher's curiosity.

Even with all the heartache they suffered after she died, Eddie would do it all over again if it means he still gets Christopher.

Present

Ana is Eddie's present.

Being with her is nice and easy and exactly what he thought he needed when they started seeing each other. She's smart, pretty, and Christopher likes having her around. Even his parents approved of his decision to date her. He doesn't think of Ana as a rebound. Too much time has passed since Shannon's death for that. She's patient and seems more than willing to take things at Eddie's pace.

Being with Ana is comfortable, but what they have between them feels more like friendship than anything else. He can't see their relationship growing into anything more. They've never said "I love you" and if he's honest with himself, he can't imagine ever saying it to her.

Ana is not Eddie's future.

He thinks he's subconsciously felt this for a while now and that Ana has too.

Things have um, cooled off physically, quite a bit lately too. They haven't had sex since before Eddie got shot. At first his recovery put a halt to the physical part of their relationship, but his doctor declared his shoulder fully healed weeks ago. Ana still hasn't tried to initiate anything with him and the one time he thought he should try, she'd begged off saying she didn't think that it was a good idea yet. He should have realized then what his relief meant. Since then, the most physical they've gotten is some light making out, neither of them seeming too eager to push things further.

Tonight Ana's invited him over to watch a movie. He's not expecting her to pull out a borrowed copy of When Harry Met Sally, but Ana explains she's never seen it and her coworkers made her promise that she'd watch it this weekend. They settle in, each in their own space on the couch. He hasn't thought about that movie in years, but he likes it just as much as the last time he saw it. He doesn't blush this time. He doesn't know if Ana's blushing or not because he's more focused on the movie than on her reactions to it.

The movie reminds him of his first date with Shannon. Of what falling head over heels in love with her felt like. They're happy memories this time, but they're also a stark reminder that he hasn't ever felt that way about Ana.

Everything tonight confirms that he already knows who he wants to build a future with. He's known since the moment he decided to update his will. He just hopes his feelings are reciprocated.

(He has a feeling they almost certainly are).

He needs to end things with Ana tonight. Anything else would be disrespectful. It's not fair to keep dating her when he can't picture a future with her. Especially now that he's certain his future is with someone else.

"We should talk," Eddie says as soon as their movie is over.

"Yeah, I think we need to," agrees Ana, putting the DVD back in the case and turning off the TV, then turning to face him.

In the end, it's an amicable breakup. Ana doesn't seem that surprised or upset and that confirms that they're making the right choice. Neither of them has left any belongings at the other's house so they don't even have to figure out how to navigate that awkward post-breakup exchange. They can make a clean break of things tonight.

"Let me know how Christopher's doing every once in a while?" Ana asks as she walks Eddie to the door.

"I think he'd like that," Eddie agrees. There's an awkward moment where he tries to figure out if they should hug or if he should kiss her cheek goodbye before they settle on a quick hug and Eddie leaves her house for the last time.

Future

When Eddie pulls into his driveway, Buck's Jeep is parked outside but the house is dark. Which is weird, because Christopher's bedtime isn't for another half hour. When he unlocks the front door, it's easy to see why the lights are off. There's a movie playing quietly on the TV but Christopher is fast asleep on the couch with his head in Buck's lap. Buck's legs are propped up on the coffee table and he's gently running his fingers through Chris's hair.

Eddie's heart melts and he knows that this is exactly what he wants to come home to every night for the rest of his life.

If Buck is surprised to see Eddie home early, he doesn't show it. He just tilts his head up and smiles in the way that makes Eddie feel all warm inside.

"He tried to wait up for you but the park wore him out tonight."

"Looks like it. Let me get him to his room and we can have a beer or two unless you have other plans tonight," Eddie offers, momentarily worried that Buck might actually have plans of his own when he's done babysitting.

"Sounds good. I'm free all night," Buck replies, treating Eddie to another one of those easy grins of his.

"Grab some beers and I'll meet you in the kitchen," says Eddie, scooping Chris up to carry him to bed.

It doesn't take long to get Chris settled in bed tonight. He doesn't even stir when Eddie picks him up, plus Buck was smart enough to have him change into pajamas before they started the movie so all Eddie needs to do is tuck him in (forehead kisses included), turn out the light, and close the door.

"How was the date?" Buck asks as soon as Eddie joins him in the kitchen. Buck pops the cap off a beer and passes the bottle to him.

"We uh, we ended things tonight," he reveals, sneaking a careful glance at Buck for his reaction. Eddie's sure he doesn't imagine the briefest flash of hope on Buck's face before he quickly covers it with a look of concern. He takes it as a sign to keep talking. "She's not the one I see a future with."

"But there is someone you do see a future with?"

Eddie can hear the cautious optimism in Buck's voice. He sets his beer down and locks eyes with him because he needs Buck to know how serious he is in this moment. By some miracle, Buck doesn't look away. "There is someone. And I want the rest of my life with him to start as soon as possible."

Buck's eyes widen in understanding. "If you're saying what I think you're saying you better not be fucking with me because I swear if you're fucking with me right now-"

Eddie is tempted to let Buck keep going to see if he can ramble his way into a coherent thought (and he's awfully cute when he starts rambling like this) but he also doesn't want Buck talking himself into a freak-out.

"I'm not fucking with you," Eddie promises, interrupting Buck. Without breaking eye contact, he takes a step closer to him, closing what little distance there is between them. Eddie gently takes the beer bottle from Buck's hand and sets it aside. "You're my future. If you want to be."

"Oh thank god," Buck whispers. Eddie has no idea who actually makes the first move or if it's ultimately a mutual decision, but that's not important right now because he's finally kissing Buck and that's the only thing that matters.

What starts as a hesitant, tentative kiss quickly becomes hungry and desperate. Eddie can't believe he's been missing out on this and he is more than ready to make up for lost time. He groans and he has to grip the counter behind him for balance when Buck buries his hands in his hair and pulls, forcing Eddie's head back so he can work his mouth along Eddie's jawline and down his neck more easily. His stomach jumps with excitement when he thinks about what else Buck can do to him. He's hard just thinking about the possibilities. Buck's hands in his hair and whatever Buck's teeth are doing to his earlobe right now definitely don't hurt either.

Eddie can't keep his hands to himself for very long. Not that he wants to. It's far more fun to reach out and explore every inch of Buck that had been off limits until now. He fumbles with Buck's t-shirt until Buck gets impatient and tugs the shirt over his head and tosses it aside somewhere. Yeah, that's much better.

Eddie presses his fingertips against Buck's chest and pushes just enough to back him against the wall. Buck doesn't even try to resist, just leans back while Eddie shamelessly rakes his eyes over Buck's entire body on display. It's damn near criminal just how good the man looks in nothing but a pair of jeans. Eddie is not the only one shamelessly staring. Buck is too. He likes the way Buck's eyes light up and the way he bites his lip when he realizes that Eddie's pants aren't doing anything to conceal how hard he is.

"You wanna keep staring or do you want to touch?" Buck rolls his hips in what can only be an invitation.

And oh fuck yes, Eddie wants to touch. He's not holding back anymore. He couldn't even if he wanted to. He spreads his hands across Buck's chest, touching every inch of exposed skin he can, and discovers that Buck really really likes having his nipples played with, if the sounds he's making are anything to go by. Eddie files that discovery away for later, already wondering what Buck would sound like if he was using his tongue instead of just his fingers. Eddie knows that Buck is all muscle but it's different now that he gets to knead his fingers into his skin and feel for himself. Now he knows.

He wants as much contact with Buck as possible. He surges forward, plastering his body against Buck's, grinding their hips together to make sure Buck knows exactly how turned on he is. Even through his jeans, Eddie can feel that Buck is just as hard as he is (and wow he likes what he feels). Buck inhales sharply against Eddie's mouth and matches his movements, seeking as much friction as he can get, just as needy as Eddie is. Every drag of their hips sends a jolt of pleasure through his body and brings Eddie that much closer to the edge. If they keep this up, he's not going to last much longer.

Eddie pulls back to catch his breath. He considers dropping to his knees and taking Buck into his mouth right there but the kitchen floor is not forgiving and it would definitely kill his knees. (He seriously considers going for it though, knees be damned).

"You good?" asks Buck. "We don't have to do anything you're not into."

"I'm good," Eddie hurries to reassure him. "And I am very very into this." Eddie hooks his fingers around Buck's belt loops and pulls him closer. "You?"

"Very good," agrees Buck. "And also very into this."

They're kissing again and the next thing Eddie knows, Buck has somehow flipped their positions to pin him against the wall and Buck is pulling his shirt over his head. The only reason it's stayed on this long is because he likes it when someone else is tearing his clothing off and Buck waited this long to actually do it. He'll take all the skin to skin contact with Buck he can get.

Buck reaches one hand down and settles it between Eddie's legs and starts stroking him through his jeans. His gasp of surprise quickly turns into a moan of approval. It's a good thing there's a wall behind him because his legs are already shaking and there's a damn good chance he won't be able to stand by the time Buck is done with him.

"This okay?" whispers Buck.

Eddie is breathing hard but he nods. "I don't think I can hold off much longer," he warns.

"Then don't. I want to watch you come," Buck whispers, low and rough in Eddie's ear.

"Fuck," groans Eddie. He does not expect his body to react so strongly to a few words but between Buck's voice right in his ear and Buck's hand still working him through his jeans, he has no control left and he's completely at Buck's mercy. And fuck it, he wants to know what Buck looks like when he comes too.

Eddie grabs the back of Buck's head again and crushes their lips together. His hands work their way through Buck's hair, down his back, and eventually grab his ass, pulling them even closer together. Eddie matches every frenzied grind, roll, and thrust that Buck throws at him. It doesn't take long before they're both coming in their pants like a pair of horny teenagers. Eddie comes first and Buck isn't far behind him.

Buck almost immediately collapses into Eddie with his head against his shoulder. It's a good thing Eddie is still braced against the wall because it's the only thing holding either of them up. And even that isn't enough. They all but fall to the floor and cling to each other to ride out the last waves of their orgasms.

When they finally do pull apart, Eddie's still breathing heavily and not completely sure his legs have stopped shaking enough to stand up yet. One look at Buck and it's clear he's similarly affected. His eyes are half closed and the pink flush on his cheeks extends all the way down his neck and chest. It's fucking hot to see Buck this blissed out post-orgasm, knowing that he was responsible for that. Eddie gently reaches out and brushes a thumb over Buck's kiss-swollen lips. At the last second, Buck captures Eddie's thumb between his lips, gently nipping at the tip of it.

"Told you I wasn't fucking with you," murmurs Eddie. It's the softest and most reassuring "I told you so" he's ever said.

"You know this means you're stuck with me, right?" Buck whispers.

"Good. That's the idea," replies Eddie, resting his forehead against Buck's. "I meant it when I said I want the rest of my life with you to start as soon as possible."

Buck jerks his head back in surprise and looks at Eddie, eyes wide. Eddie doesn't stop talking though. He needs Buck to hear what he's saying. To really listen to him.

"I don't want to waste another minute that I could be spending with you. I don't think you even realize how amazing and rare it is to love people like you do but I know how lucky Chris and I are to be loved by you. You and him on the couch tonight? That's what I want to come home to every night. I love how you are right there with me to support him and help show him that even though he can't always do things the way his friends can, that doesn't mean there's not a way for him to do it too. I want to listen to you ramble on about whatever new thing you're researching this week just to see your eyes light up like they do every time you get excited about something. My life is better with you in it. Christopher's too. I stopped being able to picture my future without you in it a long time ago. I want you standing there next to me when Christopher graduates high school and for all the other once-in-a-lifetime events and all the regular everyday things too. Even the most uneventful days with you are better than the best days without you. And in case you need to hear me say it, I am ridiculously in love with you."

"Holy shit," mumbles Buck. Eddie uses his thumb to brush a tear from the corner of Buck's eye. "For the record, I am ridiculously in love with you too," murmurs Buck. "Probably have been since the earthquake. You have always had my back. You showed up in my life when I was looking for a family and you never even hesitated to invite me into yours. You and Chris are my family and I can't wait to build a future with you."

Their kiss this time is long and slow and Eddie wants this moment to last forever. He wants to lay here on the kitchen floor trading lazy kisses with Buck all night. Eddie doesn't care that the floor is cold and uncomfortable or that his back will have something to say about it tomorrow if they fall asleep here. He knows they'll eventually need to go clean up and find a change of clothes, but not yet. He wants to take his time kissing Buck, to savor the weight of Buck's body pressing down on him. Tonight is only the first night of the rest of their lives together.

They've got time.

I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!

Originally posted on AO3 under the same pen name.