Chapter One
Nothing like facing your future today. I knew this day was coming and that I should have been more mentally and physically prepared than I am, but don't they say life is what happens when you're busy doing other things?
Working the farm there is no such thing as other things. Somethings always in need of getting done. I'm standing by my mothers dead body and in the back of my mind I'm still thinking about all the chores I'm going to have to do later. Legs tapping anxiously because I can't get them done or the fact that even now I haven't really dealt with her death. Most the church congregation and town folk had come to pay the respects. I made small talk and shook hands, ate bake goods and hot dishes. I watched wagons roll out and come in. The community was quite generous if I must say. I am thankful for that. The church took care of all the arrangements for me, even if I had the free time I doubt I would have put anything together. So today everybody's coming here to the church to pay their respects. I sent letters to my aunts and uncles to but it could take months for them to head this way. They live in the southern part of the State, and even if they could arrange something to get off the farm, arranging transport is a whole other thing. Next year we'll be entering the 1900s, so they'll probably have all manner of contraptions. The connection to the soil is a farmers best friend. All those contraptions will make things quicker and easier but will sever that connection to the soil if you ask me, people usually don't.
Even in a small farm town like this nobody likes talking to me, for I don't like talking to them. I guess you reap what you sow and all that. I'm incredibly shy, I suppose the drawback of hardly leaving a farm. Many around town come from big families and so have there own to be social. It's been just me an my parents but now it's going to be just me.
My mom was the social one. She and her loyal group of bridge players that could make a bunch of local gals turn into the most intense competitors in the world. They were the sweetest ladies always bringing sweets and baked goods which I appreciated, but then the ark die comes out of each of them once those cards come out. The church was also another place that brought out the social bug in my mother. Every chance to bring a bake good or just catch up on the local gossip. The wagon rides into town to go to church and have a Sunday dinner were things I always did enjoy sharing with her. I can't say I'll make that trek now even though those juicy steak dinners or fried chicken with mash potatoes make my mouth water just thinking about them.
I'll have to get used to not eating like I used to in general. No more big breakfasts after a morning milking. No soft delicious baked goods still warm to go with a midday break. None of her dinners that just made the whole day satisfying in their goodness. It wasn't just the food, it's how she put her heart and soul into everything she made. Everyone told her she was the best baker in the area and that gave her and I think that became a point of pride.
Even though we never really talked much ,especially after my fathers passing, we both rather kept to ourselves in the house. What we didn't say in words we made up for in our actions. We were alway there for each other. We did this same song and dance for my father about 5 years ago. It's been tough trying to get all the farm work done by myself but I figured a routine. Most other farms have lots of kids running around to help with the chores or hired hands. Can't afford to hire and my parents tried to have more kids but the Lord wouldn't let it take. Guess its up to me to find a wife and have some young ones but I barely even know what to say to one.
I should be ashamed to be a man of forty and not being married by now. After I turned 30 I just gave up on the whole idea of it. Never really had much time for it. Every body else seems to have figured out the formula and found a way to love and family. Somethings come natural to you like "Ove Jonsson, let me just say how sorry I am for your loss. Your dear mother was a special lady. If you need help with any of the chores just let me know and I can send one of my boys to help you out."
"Well, thank you Mr. Foote I do appreciate it." I said shaking his hand. "I should be fine with the farm work, but I appreciate the offer."
"Just let me know if you change your mind, even if its just for the next couple of weeks until you can figure out all the other stuff."
"Sure, sure Mr. Foote really you're too kind." I said knowing that everyone in town was going to say something similar and that they all meant it, but were really just saying it to be nice.
"What about the domestic duties?" Asked Mrs Foote, whom I hadn't notice come over. "Surely I could help organize something for you. You must not have a lot of time to devote to the house hold chores. I mean have you been eating proper?" She inquired.
"Actually Mrs Foote I've been mostly just eating some of the canned goods." Just then as Mrs. Foote started to go on more must help get some to donate some proper food for me, and everything else she could think of, that's when I noticed the young lady she came over with. She looked away when I looked over as if she had been caught. I never really met their children or Was it that I never really took notice of them? She was worthy of notice but seemed quite young so I shifted back to Mrs. Foote and said, "Any help really will be appreciated. It's really kind of you to on me. I would gladly pay for a cook or maid to come by."
"No talk of money just yet." She interrupted. "Your mother was our friend and we know she would have offered if it was one of us."
She's probably right. Lots more people offered similar help and kind words. We went through all the proper rituals, the burial, the sermons, and prayers. Finally got back to the farm to get the days chores done with. Laid down on the bed to rest my eyes and for some reason the young lady with Mrs. Foote, her face came into my mind. This will only disturb my sleep which I'll need for the early milking. Best to put this aside, but yet it lingers.