Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto—If you like this story please support the official release!

Chapter updated: 9/2/2022

It had been a normal day for him. He would have had a hard time separating today from any other. It was nothing special. He was just a normal pizza delivery driver. For the past six weeks, he had been working for the local pizza chain, and his job was to deliver pizza in his parent's car. They had been on him about getting a job, and in his 16-year-old mind, a pizza delivery driver was the best bet.

He imagined that eventually he would deliver a pizza to a bored housewife and give her some extra meat.

That still hasn't happened.

The only wives he had been meeting were the bitchy kind. He was required to hand off the orders in person and get the customer's signature, but he tried to complete the conversation in under 30 seconds. And he tried not to ever make eye contact.

Not everyone was an asshole, but a lot of people were. He could kind of understand where they were coming from though. He'd be pretty pissed if his order was wrong too, but he was just the delivery guy. Screaming at him wasn't going to help them.

And without the benefit of horny MILFs, being a pizza delivery driver just wasn't worth it.

So he was just hoping to stick it out until college. Save up enough money so he could work only part-time while he attended classes.

But that's when disaster struck.

He was returning from a delivery when he got stuck behind a slow-moving vehicle.

"Why can't people learn how to drive?" he muttered, stepping on the gas. He swerved to the left, into the lane reserved for cars going in the opposite direction.

There wasn't anyone ahead of him so he thought it would be fine. He glanced back to make sure he wouldn't tap the car behind him when he drifted back into the right lane, and those few seconds he took my eye off the road were all it took.

A large transport truck made a right turn from a side street and right into the land he was occupying. The eighteen-wheeler had no way of knowing that he would be driving on the wrong side of the road because of his impatience. He turned the wheel sharply and tried to swerve out of the way, but it was too late.

His parents' little sedan was smashed by the large transport.

"Fuck..." he muttered, lying on the asphalt.

Somewhere in the crash, he had been thrown from his car. His arms and legs were scraped raw by the road, and every bone in his body felt like it had been shattered.

He was going to die. He could feel it, and he hated it. Why was he dying? What had he done to deserve such a grisly early death?

There was a sound like jingling bells and a translucent box appeared floating in the air above him.

Request reincarnation?
Yes or No?

What is that? he tried to speak. And failed. He tried to reach out and touch the box, but his arms weren't listening. They wouldn't move.

Shit, this was really it.

The pain was pretty much gone now. He was just cold. Cold as hell. He felt as if he was gonna freeze in place.

He summoned up his remaining strength, striving to whisper one more word. "...yes..."

Confirmed. Reincarnation requested.

Before he could see what happened next, he fell asleep. Weird how dying is nowhere near how I thought it'd be.

That was the last thought he had on the mortal plane.

0O0

Sasuke Uchiha, or rather Uchiha Sasuke sat bolt upright on his bed, inhaling deeply.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and tried to steady his breathing. The last few seconds played over and over again in his mind, and he saw the broken window and heard the squealing of car brakes.

It echoed in his mind almost too clearly.

Suddenly, without being aware of a conscious decision to move, Sasuke found himself at the window, pushing it open. The morning air was cool on his face as he looked up at the morning sun.

That dream wasn't just a nightmare, it was a memory. His last memory before he died and woke up in a different universe.

The space between those two moments was fuzzy. Sasuke could remember a bit, but nothing that was helpful—nothing that could explain why he had ended up where he did.

First there was darkness and silence—like existence had just disappeared. A void. Like everything had ceased to be. Then there was the light. Was it even light? It had been hard to tell. Slowly, the light had begun to expand, and grow brighter and brighter. Then there was sound. White noise. Voices? Definitely voices, but distant.

Sasuke shook his head, pushing those memories back into the little box he kept them in. Thinking about it wouldn't help.

"There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy," he muttered, repeating the quote that helped keep him sane. Humans just weren't meant to know what came after. That meant there was no point in driving himself mad trying to figure it out.

Sasuke sighed and like every morning for the past week, he made his way to the bathroom connected to his room. It was a ritual he had started the first day he'd woken up.

The face reflected back at him in the mirror was absolutely Sasuke Uchiha.

Which meant...

Orochimaru's Invasion. The Akatsuki collecting the Tailed-Beast. Pain destroying the Hidden Leaf. An entire world war. Madara Uchiha and a literal goddess coming back to life.

The number of overpowered enemies he'd be fighting in less than a decade made him want to curl up in a ball.

In a brief moment of insanity, he considered telling someone. Of course, Sasuke knew he couldn't actually do that. No one in their right mind would believe him. The most likely scenario, if he did do that, was that he would end up being worked over by Ibiki and the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force before being handed off to Yamanaka to be mind fucked.

He was going to pass on the torture. Which left him with the option of preparing as best he could and making sure he was strong enough to survive.

In a world like his, that was really his only choice. Sure, he could have left the ninja life behind and become a civilian. He'd probably be able to eke out a decent living in the village.

But being a civilian wouldn't keep him safe. He didn't even need memories of the future to know that.

The Uchiha Massacre would be a life-long reminder that you didn't need to be a ninja to die. Not every member of the Uchiha clan was a ninja, yet they were still killed. Hiding from the ninja world and being a civilian wouldn't save him. The only way to stay alive in this world was to be stronger than everyone else.

"Status."

With a sound like bells jingling, a translucent purple rectangle materialized in midair between him and the mirror.

Name: Sasuke Uchiha
Age: 13
Chakra Reserves: 1.5/5 (Academy Student)
Ninjutsu: 0.5/5
Taijutsu: 0.5/5
Genjutsu: 0.5/5
Strength: 1/5
Speed: 2/5
Stamina: 1/5
Chakra Control: 0.5/5

The stats on display looked identical to the stats in the Naruto Databooks. From what he could remember about the books, the lowest score someone could get in each category was 0.5 points.

And he had that in over half his categories!

Sasuke glared at the screen. "How is this fair?" he asked, pissed that he was literally the weakest some could be.

The screen didn't react to his words. He hadn't expected it to.

If there was one thing his premature death taught him: it was that life wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he died at sixteen. Or that his soul, brain, or heart...whatever made him him was dropped in the body of a thirteen-year-old Sasuke Uchiha.

And it damn sure wasn't fair that the memories of Sasuke's life before "The Swap" as he liked to call it, played like a movie in his head instead of actual memories.

He saw what was happening, but he didn't feel the associated feelings. Like, he didn't feel the love the old Sasuke had for his family, or the pain and trauma he probably felt after the Uchiha Massacre.

Which was a good thing, because he didn't think he was mentally strong enough to go through what the old Sasuke did and continue functioning.

The bad part about that was that all of the old Sasuke's training also played like a movie. And just like you couldn't do a fighting move you saw on tv, he couldn't do anything he saw the old Sasuke do.

"Status," he said, and the screen vanished. Focusing his chakra in his eyes, he smiled as he saw his one-tome Sharingan spin to life in the mirror.

"I guess it could be worse."

Despite not having any ninja training whatsoever, he wasn't completely helpless. His new eyes were going to be what let him catch up to his peers and eventually surpass them.

He also had the advantage of future knowledge. Even just two ordinary things like Tree Walking and Walking Walking had been completely unknown to him before. He was still an Academy student after all, and those were things that a Genin was supposed to learn from their Jonin-sensei.

The Academy! Sasuke shot out of the bathroom, his eyes bulging.

Today was the day he was supposed to take his graduation test!

0O0

The Ninja Academy had stadium-style seating, with several tiers rising from the teacher's podium. Sasuke felt a few eyes on him as he burst through the door and took the closest free seat.

Naruto, Kiba, and a few male extras whose names he didn't bother remembering were glaring at him. Sakura and Ino were staring at him with doe-eyed amazement.

Sasuke liked to think he was a decent person, but now with the option...I'm probably going to take advantage of that, he thought as Iruka, the chunin instructor for his class shook his head disapprovingly.

He sank lower in his seat as not a second later the bell rang, announcing the beginning of the test.

Sasuke had been cutting it close. Very, very close.

"You will all do the Clone Jutsu," Iruka, told the class before he left for the exam room. Names would be called in order, one by one. Each student would be tested alone.

At the back of the classroom, Sasuke watched his teacher leave. When Iruka was gone and the door clacked shut behind him, Sasuke stood up from his seat and walked over to where Sakura was sitting. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from her seat leading her to the back of the classroom.

"H-h-hi, Sasuke," she stuttered, her face cherry red.

"We should use this time to practice instead of just waiting for our names to be called," Sasuke said.

Sakura started nodding in agreement immediately. "That's a great idea, Sasuke,"

He knew she would. It wouldn't have mattered what he said, she would have agreed with him. That was just the kind of person she was.

Sasuke turned his back to the class, putting Sakura between him and the back wall. Without anyone being able to see his eyes, he activated his Sharingan.

"Go through the three academy Jutsu, Sakura."

"Okay!" Sakura smiled and did exactly what he told her.

Sasuke watched intently as she made the correct hand seal.

"Clone Jutsu!"

The thick-as-pea-soup smoke particular to ninjutsu rose as two more Sakura's appeared standing next to the original.

"Nice."

After a brief moment, Sasuke frowned when Sakura didn't start the next Jutsu. She was just watching him with a dreamy look.

"Do the next one."

His words jolted Sakura out of whatever fantasy she was having. "S-sorry," she stammered and made the Transformation hand seal.

"Transform!" Sakura cloaked herself in smoke. When the smoke cleared a perfect copy of Sasuke stood in front of him.

"Haruno Sakura!" Mizuki's voice came from the front of the class.

Sasuke deactivated his Sharingan and turned around. The traitorous chunin was holding the door open. "Good luck," he said, and went back to his seat.

"T-thank you!" Sakura blushed dark red and hurried out of the classroom to take her exam.

Two out of three isn't bad, Sasuke thought, as his foot bounced nervously under the desk. He looked around the room. Only nine out of the twenty-seven students in their class would be assigned to a genin squad.

"What was that with forehead, Sasuke?"

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. Ino was staring at him, her eyes wide in shock. The look on her face could only be described as heartbroken. "Just prepping for the exam," he replied, looking forward.

Then he looked back again and smiled at Ino.

"Did you want to prep too?"

He still needed to copy the Substitution Jutsu, after all.

Ino nodded excitedly and like Sakura, she followed him to the back of the class. Just to be on the cautious side, he had her go through the Clone and Transformation Jutsu before he copied the Substitutions Jutsu.

Then his name was called.

"Showtime," Sasuke muttered, leaving Ino at the back of the class to wait for her turn.

Iruka and Mizuki sat at a table in the back of the exam room. He didn't know Mizuki well, but he did know that tonight the chunin would trick Naruto into stealing the Scroll of Sealing.

Sasuke swallowed hard. Laid out on the table where the teachers sat were two dozen blue headbands with engraved metal plates sewn on the front. They looked absolutely beautiful.

"Uchiha Sasuke, begin," Iruka said in a serious tone.

Sasuke made the correct hand seal. Then, concentrating, he did the required Jutsu. "Clone Jutsu!" he said when he finished.

The thick-as-soup smoke particular to ninjutsu rose. Sasuke looked around for his clone.

When he saw it, he fist pumped. It was him all right.

A perfect copy.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you pass!" Iruka announced proudly. "Please, turn around."

Sasuke turned around and stood waiting. He felt a weight land above his eyes as Iruka tied a forehead protector around his head.

"Congratulations, Sasuke," Iruka patted him on the shoulder. "You can head home now, but report back to the academy in one week. You'll be assigned to a genin team then."

Sasuke walked out of the room with his head held high and his mind racing. This was just one step on his path to becoming a powerful ninja.

Outside the school, students who had passed the exam were happily celebrating with their parents. When he saw Naruto sitting on the swing alone, watching the happy families a plan started to form in his mind. A dastardly plan that could potentially get him killed. But if he didn't try, he was probably going to end up dead anyway.

With the shitstorm that was heading for Konoha a weak as fuck genin wasn't going to live long and he didn't have time to grind for power.

Sasuke knew he needed to get as strong as possible as fast as possible. And I know just the way, he thought as he headed over to Naruto.

Naruto looked up, shocked that someone was purposefully standing near him. "What do you want?" he asked, rudely.

"Just saw you over here without a headband," Sasuke shrugged. "Figured you failed."

"What's it to you?" Naruto snapped, glaring at him.

Sasuke looked back at the happy families. He could see the parents shooting distrustful looks at Naruto. His memories didn't stretch all the way back to the attack, but it was well known how devastating the Kyuubi's rampage had been.

Hundreds of ninja had died, and thousands had been injured. Never mind the damage done to the village itself. If it wasn't for the Fourth Hokage, Konoha might have been completely destroyed.

Sasuke understood that a lot of the village didn't hate Naruto, but were afraid of him. And that wasn't fair. Naruto didn't ask to be a jinchūriki. He didn't deserve the village's scorn. If it wasn't for him, the entire village might have been destroyed.

"Oh! That's him, isn't it?" a mother hissed in their direction.

"Yeah, that's him," another mother nodded. "I guess he flunked."

"Good. Someone like him can't become a ninja! Think of what might happen!"

"I know! If his true nature ever emerges, we'll all be—"

But before they could go on, a third mother quickly interrupted them. "Shhh, you two! We're not supposed to talk about him, remember?" she chided.

"Don't listen to them, Naruto." a kind voice said.

Sasuke yanked his head up. Mizuki stood in front of him, smiling at Naruto with sympathy.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," the Mizuki patted Naruto on the shoulder. Before they left, Mizuki glanced at Sasuke. "Congratulations on graduating."

"Thanks," Sasuke said as he watched Mizuki's back as the chunin led Naruto away.

He stared until pink blocked his view. Blinking, he stepped back as Sakura stepped into his personal space.

"D-Did you want to do something to celebrate graduation, Sasuke?" she asked, digging the toes of one foot into the dirt.

"No."

Sasuke followed after Mizuki and Naruto, leaving a teary-eyed Sakura standing outside of the academy alone.

Hello!

It's been a while since I posted anything...to be honest, I forgot my password to this account as well as the Email I used to create it!

I created another profile and uploaded some new stories there, but now that I've got this one back I'll be uploading them on this account!

Anyway, this is a Naruto/Gamer Self-Insert!