Chano walked around his apartment, wishing that he could get the whole stupid ordeal out of his mind, but it was impossible. The police weren't going to let him

forget it. The news media reported it over and over like it was some kind of thing to celebrate. But his conscience was the worst. It haunted him minute after

minute; an eerie reminder of what he had done. He could think of nothing else. His actions invaded his sleep, his ability to read, watch television or even eat.

He had killed two human beings. Killed them! How was he supposed to let that go? And now he was considered a hero. What kind of hero killed people just for

the sake of killing them? It was true that he'd shot them in self defense and to save the lives of others. He'd always imagined what it would have been like,

being a big hero. But it was nothing at all like he'd imagined. It felt…wrong. He shuddered, just thinking about it.

A knock on the door was a welcome sign, or so he hoped. With his luck it was probably the media wanting to interview him, ask him a bunch of questions about

how he felt to be a hero. His first instinct was to let the visitor keep knocking. Eventually they were bound to get the message. But when it continued, he sighed

deeply and went to answer the door.

He was grateful to see Barney standing in the doorway. He invited his friend in, almost laughing when Barney commented on what a nice place he had. It was a

joke and they both knew it. He gave Barney a can of beer and coaxed him to sit.

Barney asked him how he felt about what had happened that day. Chano saw that question coming for miles. But he gave a snippy, short answer that wasn't at

all the truth. He wanted to tell Barney everything-oh how he wanted to do that. He could trust Barney, he knew it. Barney would keep things secret, never

blabbing it to the other guys. But Chano couldn't do it.

He wanted to tell Barney everything he'd been going through. How scared he was, how he wasn't a damn hero, no matter what anyone said. How he wondered if

those people that he'd killed had families who loved them and were asking themselves why their loved ones had to die. He wondered if they blamed him, even

though they didn't know him. How it felt to hear his name repeated over and over on every television station. That he was shamed and scared all at once. He

wasn't a hero. Not in the least. But he couldn't say those things to Barney and he didn't know why. He was more than scared-he was a coward.

Their conversation was short and as he thanked Barney for coming, he tried not to feel jealous as Barney said he needed to get home to Liz, Rachel and David,

lying when he said he understood. "I'm gonna take a few days off if that's okay."

Barney smiled. "That's more than okay. I wouldn't have expected anything less."

As he followed Barney to the door, Barney turned to him and said something about the sperm whale and how its' throat was very small, despite its enormous

size. Chano had no idea what it meant, but he'd have a few days to think about it. Anything to get his mind off of what he'd done.

When Barney was gone, Chano closed the door and walked back to his table where he sat. He started to turn on the television but turned it off again when he

realized that the stations would still be talking about him.

As he sat at the table, alone in his apartment, he couldn't take it anymore. He put his hands over his face and began to cry-and then sob.

The door opened without warning. "Hey Chano, one more thing about the sperm whale that I forgot to tell you. Did you know-."

Chano barely heard him as he sat sobbing at the table. He barely heard the door shut or the footsteps as they creaked across the floor. But he felt the large,

warm hand on his back, reminding him of the days when he was a child, being comforted by an adult. The hand stayed there, even as the sound of the chair

scraped the floor.

"Just let it out. Let it out. Everything will be okay. You're a good cop, Chano. The best."

Barney's words made him cry harder and Barney's hand moved up and down, soothing him even more. Barney stayed there for a long time, leaving Chano to

wonder if Liz and the kids might have been worried about him. But Barney didn't seem to mind.

After what felt like hours, Chano lifted his head and gave a small smile.

"I'll see you in a few days, all right? Just take it easy and relax. Watch TV. Get some sleep. Go see a movie. But not Dirty Harry! And that's an order!"

Chano laughed, surprised at how good it felt. "Thanks, Barn."

He made the most of his days off, walking the streets of Greenwich Village, just enjoying being there, eating take out from the local delicatessen, watching kids

play in the park, browsing the local bookstores.

Barney called him every morning to make sure that he was all right.

Chano wasn't all right, of course. He wasn't sure that he'd ever be. Barney had faith in him. And now Chano had faith in himself as well.

~Fin~