Well, Darth Necron, the previous chapter was not the first time in this story where I allowed DC characters to swear. Whereas I am not willing to let the Looney Tunes swear given that they are supposed to be characters suitable for people of all ages, I am willing to let DC characters swear because it is something they've been able to do on a regular basis in the comics since at least after the Silver Age (not sure if it was since the Bronze Age or at some point after that, though). This fanfic is rated T for Teen, after all, so I wouldn't call it kid-friendly either. With that said, I've avoided using stronger swear words that would make this fanfic be rated M for Mature, like the F-word for instance. The use of the B-word, by comparison, is less coarse and thus suitable for this fanfic's age rating. As for Harley, it would be a bit hard for me to make her the same version as the one from her 2019 TV series given that I've never seen any episode from it beyond a few scenes I came across on YouTube (and one time on TV).
musizlover2008: If you think it's weird to see the Looney Tunes in serious situations, you're probably not familiar with those DC/Looney Tunes crossover comics from a few years ago, which included one where Batman had to deal with Elmer Fudd in a film noir setting that took itself rather seriously (albeit with a little bit of tongue-in-cheek humor, but still).
I should warn you all that this chapter is light on action and especially focuses on characters talking to each other, but just wait until the end if you're looking for action.
Chapter 15: A Hare Grows in Metropolis
Within the Watchtower, Daffy, Porky, Foghorn, and Taz were teleported aboard. While there, they noticed both Superman and Martian Manhunter as the only superheroes to be present, alongside the rest of the Looney Tunes.
"Well, would you look at that!" Foghorn exclaimed at the sight of the other Looney Tunes. "I had, I say, I had no idea how many among us ended up in this world too!"
"It is great to see you again, mes amis." Pepé said before having a sad look. "Malheureusement, a terrible event happened to Yosemite Sam." He added as he pointed at the still unconscious Sam on the nearby table.
Daffy, Porky, Foghorn, and Taz all walked up to the table and arched an eyebrow at the outlaw, not sure of what exactly was going on.
"Hum… What is the 'terrible event' that happened to him?" the duck asked. "Oh! Let me guess! He fainted after reading a Garth Ennis comic! Well, that's a perfectly normal reaction to Ennis' work."
"Daffy, Sam is in a coma." Bugs somberly said.
"Oh, please! Try as you might, but I'm pretty sure you guys are trying to pull a prank on me with this!" the black-feathered bird exclaimed in amusement.
However, he noticed that the rabbit kept his rather serious facial reaction for far longer than it should be if it really was a prank.
"Oh geez, you ARE serious!" Daffy exclaimed, suddenly being concerned by this situation.
Porky, Foghorn, and Taz all looked concerned as well.
"How d-d-d-d-d-did he end up in a c-c-c-c-coma?" Porky asked.
"He met the Parasite, a man who can absorb energy from others by touching them." Superman somberly replied. "Since then, Sam has remained unconscious."
Upon learning this, the duck removed his Scarlet Pumpernickel hat to pay respect to the unconscious Looney Tune. For one of the few times in his life, he was worried over someone other than himself.
"Poor Sam. Even he doesn't deserve that." Daffy said in a rather serious tone.
"How long do you think he will remain that way?" Foghorn asked the superheroes.
"It's hard to say. The Parasite has never absorbed energy from anyone from your kind before." Martian Manhunter replied. "I suppose we can only wait until your friend gets better."
"I hope so." Bugs said while sadly staring at Sam.
The next day, in Metropolis, a meeting was happening within the Daily Planet building. The editor-in-chief ordered a large chunk of its staff to be present, as he wanted to make sure that his incoming orders would be completely understood.
Inside of a large room with an equally large window, there was a large brown table, with several members of the Daily Planet sitting around it, while others were standing up next to the walls. Sitting at the middle of the table and with the window behind him was the editor-in-chief himself. He was an old man with grey hair. He was wearing a white shirt, a black sleeveless vest, a red necktie, brown pants, and black shoes. His name is Perry White.
Clark and Lois were among the ones sitting on the chairs, while Jimmy was among the ones standing up next to the walls. Cat Grant, who was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt, a blue skirt, and black high-heeled shoes, was also sitting on a chair. Next to her was a well-built middle-aged man with brown hair and a brown mustache, who was eating some pretzels. He was wearing a yellow short-sleeved shirt, black pants with a brown belt, and brown shoes. His name is Steve Lombard, a sportswriter.
"Listen up, everyone." Perry loudly said, getting everyone's attention. "Recently, there is one subject that everyone around the world is talking about."
He grabbed a nearby newspaper from the rival company known as the Daily Star, whose front page featured a picture of Bugs Bunny on it, and showed it to his staff.
"The Looney Tunes. Somehow, characters like Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam have ended up in our world, and it seems like everyone is more interested to learn more about them than to learn about any latest blunder caused by a politician." The editor-in-chief said before putting the newspaper back on the desk. "If that's what they want, we'll give it to them." he said before pointing at Lois. "Lois, try to get an interview with Bugs Bunny. You somehow always manage to find a way to interview those who are unwilling to talk, including reclusive artists, so try to find that rabbit and convince him to do the same."
"Well, I don't think it'll be that easy to do, but I'll put every effort into it." She said while discreetly smirking to Clark, who could tell what she had in mind.
"Good! Kent, get people's reactions in regards to these cartoon characters suddenly existing in real life. I want to know what the President thinks about it." Perry said.
"Very well, Mr. White." Clark said.
"Lombard, ask any representative from the NBA if this is all just some expensive publicity stunt done in relation to that Space Jam movie. And while you're at it, try to get an interview with Michael Jordan." The editor-in-chief said to Lombard.
"Which one? The basketball player or the guy from the Creed movies?" the sportswriter jokingly asked before noticing Perry glaring at him. "Alright, fine. I was just joking." He said while groaning.
"Grant, contact Warner Bros. to learn if they have anything to do with it." Perry said to Cat.
"I'll see what I can do." She said.
"As for everyone else, get as much information about it as you can. Right now!" the editor-in-chief exclaimed in an authoritative manner.
Suddenly, all the staff present in the room gradually left it. Jimmy was among the last ones to leave when his boss noticed him.
"Wait, Olsen!" Perry exclaimed, getting the photographer's attention.
"Yes, sir?" Jimmy asked.
"About your pictures of the Parasite… they are of very good quality. Excellent job." Perry said, smiling.
"Oh, thanks a lot, Mr. White." The photographer said, smiling as well. "I really appreciate it."
"Good. Now get me some coffee!" the editor-in-chief exclaimed, once again in an authoritative manner.
"Oh." Jimmy said, no longer smiling. "Yes, chief."
"Oh, for the love of…" Perry said in annoyance while rubbing his forehead. "I told you way too many times now to not call me chief!"
"Yes, chi—I mean, sir!" the photographer nervously exclaimed before leaving the room.
Several minutes later, Clark and Lois were in their parked car, almost ready to leave for lunch. At this moment, Lois was looking at herself in the mirror from the sun visor to put some lipstick on, well, her lips.
"If somebody told me years ago that I would eventually interview Bugs Bunny, I would have called them insane. But now, it will become a reality. And of course, thanks to a certain flying man I know, it should be incredibly easy to convince the carrot eater to let me interview him." She said to her husband.
"I don't think it's such a good idea, Lois." Clark said.
Suddenly making a neutral expression, his wife pulled up the sun visor, put the lipstick back into her purse, and rested her chin on her left fist while looking at him.
"Mr. Kent, I hope you have a really good reason for saying this to your wife." Lois said.
"It's just that Bugs is not exactly feeling well since yesterday." He said with a concerned look.
Upon hearing this, the black-haired woman looked concerned as well.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Ever since the Parasite has absorbed energy from Yosemite Sam, the latter has been in a coma. Bugs has not taken this very well." The Kryptonian replied.
Lowering down her fist, Lois felt bad for the cartoon characters.
"Sorry about that." The woman said.
There was a brief silence before the conversation continues.
"If he's not in a good state of mind, do you think I could get an interview with Daffy Duck instead?" she asked.
"I think that would be an even worse idea." Clark replied, not liking her idea.
"Because he's also not in a happy mood given what happened to Sam?"
"Well, that, but also because it's Daffy we're talking about. He has a rather large ego and he's incredibly selfish. His answers to your questions will likely be greatly exaggerated and filled with lies to make himself look better." He explained.
"You DO realize you're talking to a woman who has interviewed Lex Luthor multiple times, right?" Lois rhetorically asked.
Clark was about to open his mouth only to let what she said sink in and realize he had no argument against it. He sighed before continuing the conversation.
"Alright. I'll ask Bugs if he is willing to be interviewed. If not, I'll ask the rest of the Looney Tunes if anyone of them is willing to do it." He said.
"Thank you. That's all I'm asking." She said before kissing him on the mouth.
A couple of hours later, in the Watchtower, Bugs was still sitting next to Sam, in a room where nobody else was present. All the other Looney Tunes were in other rooms, wanting to do various activities in the hope of brightening their moods over what happened to one of them, but the rabbit was unwilling to leave the room yet. Eventually, Superman arrived in the room, ready to talk to the carrot eater.
"Hey, Bugs." The Man of Steel said to the cartoon character.
"Hey, Supes." The latter sadly said.
"Still not feeling well, huh?" the superhero rhetorically asked.
"Yup."
"Listen, I have something to ask you, but don't feel obligated to do so if you're not in the mood." The Kryptonian said.
"Go ahead." Bugs said.
"You see, Perry White, the editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet, asked Lois to get an interview with you."
"Really?" the rabbit asked in surprise, arching an eyebrow at Superman.
"Well, it shouldn't be too surprising. Ever since you and your friends have appeared in our world, everyone keeps talking about you. People want to know more about the Looney Tunes." Superman replied. "I talked with the rest of the League, and we ultimately all agreed that it would not be a bad idea to let this happen. However, I don't want to force you to do this interview. I know you haven't been in a good mood since yesterday. As such, feel free to say no if you're not interested."
Bugs turned his attention back towards the unconscious Sam. At first, the rabbit was unsure what his decision should be. But after several seconds of staring at the outlaw, the carrot eater had a determined expression on his face before looking back at the superhero.
"Ya know what? I'll do it. If Sam was awake, he would call me a fool for refusin' to do that." Bugs said.
"Very well. Although I should warn you that Lois told me it would be an interview done live on television." The superhero said, as the Daily Planet was not only a newspaper, but also a news channel like CNN. "Do you think you'll be too nervous to do it this way?"
"Don't worry about it, Doc. Just tell me at what time I should be present and I'll be there faster than the time it takes me to eat an entire carrot." The rabbit said, smirking before chewing on a carrot he just summoned from out of nowhere.
The Kryptonian smiled at that, glad to see the Looney Tune in a happier mood for the first time since the day before. He knew that Bugs was still worried over Sam, but the fact he had a more cheerful attitude was a good thing in the superhero's eyes.
Later that day, at 5:50 PM, several staff members were busy doing all sorts of tasks at the Daily Planet's main story, the one where the sets for the TV news shows were. At this moment, the doors to one of the elevators opened. When the doors were fully opened, everyone gasped nearly in unison and stopped what they were doing as they noticed much to their shock a certain rascally rabbit in the elevator. Bugs was casually leaning against one of the doors and chewing on a carrot once again while noticing their reactions.
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just your average talkin' rabbit. Nothin' too out of the ordinary, really." The rabbit said in a deadpan manner to them.
"There you are, Bugs!"
The carrot eater looked to his left and noticed Lois standing a few feet away from him. He also noticed that she was wearing a different outfit than the one she wore the last time he met her. The woman was wearing a white long-sleeved button shirt, a blue waistcoat, a purple necktie, a red suit jacket with black buttons, red pants, and red high-heeled shoes.
"Glad to see you made it on time." Lois said, smiling. "This way." She said, motioning him to follow him.
Bugs nodded as they made their way to where the interview will be taking place. Everyone else was speechless at the presence of the cartoon character. Less than 10 minutes later, Bugs and Lois were sitting on chairs next to a large window, with several TV cameras aimed at them. The black-haired woman had several sheets of paper with her questions written on them. Many of Lois' coworkers, including Clark, were present behind the cameras. Suddenly, some music was being played, which was the opening theme to the news show this interview was being made for. As soon as the music stopped playing, there was a spotlight on Cat Grant, who was sitting at a nearby desk.
"Good evening, I'm Cat Grant." She said while smiling at a camera. "Today, we have a very special guest for an interview you will never forget. I will now let Lois Lane take over from here."
"Thank you, Cat. Today, I am pleased to present to you all a celebrity who has made millions of people laugh for several generations. Please welcome Bugs Bunny!" Lois enthusiastically exclaimed while pointing at the rabbit, with a spotlight on the latter.
"Eh…" Bugs said before chewing on a carrot. "…what's up, doc?"
"Thank you for accepting to be interviewed."
"It's my pleasure to be here, Ms. Lane."
"You can call me Lois. Bugs, how can we prove to our viewers that you are really there and not just the result of special effects?" she asked him.
"Well, if I was just some special effects, could I do this?" the Looney Tune asked while smirking.
He stretched his left arm to grab Jimmy Olsen's hand, much to Jimmy's surprise, and pulled the photographer next to him. The carrot eater then grabbed Lois by her hand, threw both her and Jimmy into the air, and started juggling with them. While doing so, the cartoon character summoned an accordion from out of nowhere and proceeded to play it with his large ears. Everyone else in the studio was taken aback by what was happening. About twenty seconds later, Bugs stopped juggling the two humans and gently put them on the ground. Lois and Jimmy were both rather dizzy from the experience, with the former making her way back to her chair while the latter walked off-camera. The black-haired woman came back to her senses, grabbed her sheets that were on the floor, and cleared her throat before continuing the interview.
"Let's continue, shall we? So, how did you end up in our world?" she asked the rabbit.
"I don't have any answer to this yet, Lois." The latter replied while putting the accordion back in his hidden pocket. "I remember that I was diggin' a tunnel, goin' on some vacation to Pismo Beach with Daffy. But we ended up in Metropolis instead. At first, we both assumed I took the wrong turn at Albakoykee, but it became clear, at least to me, that somethin' else was responsible for bringin' us into this world. And soon enough, I learned that many of my fellow Looney Tunes ended up in this world too! In the days since then, Superman and the rest of the Justice League have attempted to find an explanation for this strange situation by studyin' us and whatnot, but they have found nothin' so far. I'm sure they'll find some answer eventually, but we can only wait until then."
"Where exactly do you come from?" Lois asked.
"We come from a world that is exactly just like what you've seen in all the cartoons we have appeared over the years: a colorful animated world, where anythin' happens usually for the sake of comedy." Bugs replied.
"But here's the biggest question I have in mind: how are you even able to exist? How could someone like you, who is supposed to be a fictional character, can exist in the first place?" the black-haired woman asked.
"Oh, that's very simple." The rabbit replied. "Well, okay, maybe not THAT simple, but it is to me. Every time a creator from your world creates a character, THAT character immediately starts to exist as soon as the work they were created for is officially released. Not in YOUR world, of course, but in a completely different world where the stuff that happened to them in the work in question really DID happen to them. And their life always changes depending on what creators from your world are bringing to the table when coming up with further adventures for them."
"So, when your first animated short, known as A Wild Hare, was released in theaters in 1940…" Lois began to say.
"On July 27 of that year to be exact, THAT'S when I was born in MY world. As a fully grown adult for that matter." Bugs said.
"You never had a childhood, then?"
"Oh, I did have one. But it often changes every time the writers from your world decide to create a flashback set during my childhood. For instance, prior to 2013, I never befriended anyone named Rodney Rabbit as a kid. But then, one of the writers for The Looney Tunes Show came up with this idea and used it for one of the final episodes. And since then, Rodney has been a part of my childhood. And changes like this aren't limited to my childhood. Before 1988, I had never done any parachutin' with Mickey Mouse in 1947. But when Who Framed Roger Rabbit was released in theaters, well, ya can already guess where I am goin' with this."
"In other words, everything that happened to you in cartoons, comics, and video games have all happened to you in your world with no exception, right?" the reporter asked, intrigued.
"No exception whatsoever." He replied while taking a bite from his carrot.
"But shouldn't there be several contradictions? I mean, how many times have you met characters like Elmer Fudd or Marvin the Martian for the first time? You can't exactly meet the same person for the first time more than once."
"Well, I'm not your ordinary rabbit. I'm also an actor." The rabbit replied. "I don't know if ya noticed it, but several of my pictures have portrayed me as an actor playin' himself. All of my adventures have happened to me, but technically, many of them were just various productions where me and my friends were playin' our own roles."
"I see." Lois said. "Well, you mentioned having met Mickey Mouse in 1947. We've seen that in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but have you met him on other occasions that me and the rest of this world are not aware of?"
"Oh, for sure!" Bugs enthusiastically replied. "Several times in fact. Mickey's such a nice guy. Some people in your world says that he can be rather bland, but that's only because the writers at Disney barely give him enough opportunities to truly shine. And honestly, I'm always happy when he gets the recognition he deserves. Have ya seen him in that series of shorts that began in 2013? I thought he was hilarious in those! I especially enjoyed when he was talkin' to a hallucination of Daisy while Donald had been split into two different individuals. It was pure comedy gold!" he exclaimed in amusement.
"But what about some of your usual costars? What is it like to spend time with Daffy Duck in your world?" the reporter asked.
"Frankly, Daffy is one-of-a-kind. We VERY frequently have disagreements on all sorts of subjects. But at the end of the day, despite our longtime rivalry, he's also my best friend and that's all that matters." He replied, smiling.
"That's nice to hear, although I have no idea how you can tolerate such an attention-seeker all the time."
"Well, you can say that about any cartoon character, really." The carrot eater said.
"What do you mean by that?" the black-haired woman asked, intrigued.
"Every cartoon character ever created wants to get a fair amount of attention from people from your world. The more iconic and popular we are, the better it is for us. If we end up in a state where barely anyone remembers us, it's not exactly good for us. Just ask Coconut Fred." He replied.
"Wait, who?" Lois asked, confused to hear that name.
"Exactly."
"So… Next question." She said, thinking it would be best to change the subject. "How does it feel to be in our world instead of yours?"
"Well…" Bugs began to say before noticing something in the window.
He squinted his eyes to take a closer look at what he saw before widening them in surprise.
"Let me ask ya this. Does Superman have a twin brother?" the rabbit asked the reporter.
"Hum… Not to my knowledge." the black-haired woman replied, surprised to hear that question.
She was about to look in the same direction as the carrot eater when, suddenly, whatever got the latter's attention crashed through the window, taking everyone on set aback. Many of the people present tried to avoid getting hurt by the sharp glasses. This was followed by everyone looking at what just crashed through the window. It was an individual who looked an awful lot like Superman. However, there were several notable differences. His skin was chalk white, his haircut was messier, and both his eyes and teeth were yellow. His outfit was the same as the one worn by the Man of Steel, except the colors were much paler and closer to the color purple. Finally, the S on his chest was backwards.
"Bizarro…" Clark said, frowning while recognizing his clone created by Lex Luthor, before noticing a nearby closet.
"Me am Bizarro!" Bizarro proudly exclaimed with stupid grin. "Bizarro here to save the day!"
The clone effortlessly grabbed a nearby desk and threw it away, with many Daily Planet staff members running away to avoid getting crushed by it. Clark took this opportunity to run into the closet without anyone noticing him. This was followed by Bizarro grabbing a camera and looking into its lens.
"Bye! Me am proving being the worst superhero in the universe!" the clone exclaimed.
He then felt someone grabbing his left shoulder. He turned around and noticed Superman standing next to him.
"That's enough, Bizarro. You had enough fun for the day." The Man of Steel sternly said.
"Bizarro not here to destroy Superman!" the clone exclaimed before attempting to punch the original.
The latter caught the former's fist, only for the clone to grab the superhero and throw him into a nearby wall, creating a big hole in said wall. Meanwhile, Bugs helped Lois standing up.
"Are ya alright, Lois?" the rabbit asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She replied.
The two of them noticed several staff members being paralyzed in fear at the sight of the out-of-control Superman clone. In response to this, the carrot eater was suddenly wearing a cop outfit and blew into a whistle, getting the staff members' attention.
"Alright, everyone! Just calmly make your way to the elevators and everythin' will be fine." Bugs told them while imitating a cop.
The staff members did not wait further before making their way towards the elevators. However, before anyone of them could push the buttons, several blue lightnings suddenly appeared and touched the buttons, short-circuiting them and causing the elevators to be unusable.
"That's strange." The cartoon character said while stroking in chin in confusion. "The weather channel didn't say anythin' about any lightnin' storm within a buildin' for toda—YEOWCH!" he yelled upon receiving a lightning on his butt.
This resulted in the Looney Tune bouncing all over the place while pinball sounds could be heard anytime he hit his body against something. He eventually calmed down and landed on the floor, sitting on his butt while rubbing the latter in pain. However, he arched an eyebrow upon noticing the sudden appearance of a woman standing right in front of him. The woman in question had light blue skin, blue spiky hair, and blue eyes. She was wearing a black long-sleeved bodysuit whose cleavage was shaped like a lightning, blue gloves, and black thigh-high boots. She was also smirking evilly at Bugs.
"Hum… I don't think we've ever met before. I suppose ya already know who I am." The latter said to her.
"Of course, I do. But it looks like Blue Boy never told you about me." the spiky-haired woman said while raising her hand and emitting some sparks from it. "However, from here on out, you won't forget that my name is Livewire." She said, still smirking evilly to him. "And now, time for some roasted rabbit!"
End of chapter.
Well, it looks like a nice place to have a cliffhanger. What will Bugs and Superman do against two of the latter's usual foes? You'll have to wait and see.
The title is a reference to the Bugs Bunny short A Hare Grows in Manhattan. I thought it would be a fitting title given that, just like in that short, Bugs is being interviewed by a woman in this chapter (whose name is, coincidentally, also a four-letter one that begins with "Lo").
Coconut Fred was the protagonist of Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island, a show that only lasted 13 episodes and is considered by everyone to be a SpongeBob SquarePants rip-off. I've never watched Coconut Fred, but I do recall seeing a few commercials for it back in the day and, yeah, I have no problem believing everyone else who says it was a SpongeBob rip-off.