One Last Time

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is AU; Kate's mom is alive, still happily married to Jim.! The experiment of Kate and Rick living together, happily ever after is killed when she takes the Fed job only 7 months into their coupling. Only to return to New York 13 months later, BUT Rick isn't there.

I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement purposes, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks. A different outcome from Watershed, at least for now. No Guarantee this will be Caskett Ending, but leaning that way now.

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Chapter 2

Newport Way, The Castle

Huntsville Texas

Three Years Later

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END OF FLASHBACK

Rick was paddling back into shore, tired from his latest session of diving and snorkeling in his backyard, as he thought how funny life was. Who the hell would think that the Huntsville Texas area would be home to some of the best snorkeling and diving areas in the United States?

The Blue Lagoon in Huntsville Texas was famous for three huge diving platforms, as well as snorkeling sessions providing some breathtaking underwater experiences. His flight had been diverted to Huntsville because of a mechanical problem on his return trip from London, without that twist of fate he would never have found the new homesite.

When he discovered he would be stuck in the town for two days until they could repair the aircraft, he searched for things to do. His surprise at one of his favorite hobbies was not only available but also, world-class in some places he had traveled to had made the delay a lot easier. He fell in love with one area near the city but far enough away for privacy, and being honest found it by getting lost.

He had called his VP of Real Estate for RCE, the parent company for his investments and many other side projects that most people didn't know he was involved in. Lisa Guha was smart, driven, and knew the Real Estate market in the entire USA, not just one locale. Rick had sent her a top-tier figure and a street address to negotiate a deal, after all, nothing was in New York, besides Mother, and well, frankly she wasn't home when she was.

He read the listing once again,

Stop looking because here is a strikingly beautiful waterfront home with lavish finishes in the deed-restricted, waterfront subdivision of Emerald Estates. Walk through the huge wood/wrought iron doors into a grand entry to breathtaking views of Lake Livingston. Move through the home to the right & you will find the luxurious master suite & home office, both with phenomenal views of the lake. Upon entry to the left is where the well-equipped kitchen serves as the anchor to the open formal & casual dining, living, & wet bar.

A full guest bath is conveniently located just off the living area. Upstairs is a 2nd master suite & 3 bedrooms, 2 of which are joined by a Jack-n-Jill bath. Step into the hall closet & you will find floored attic space that can serve not only as storage but as a fire escape & spans the home to an exit above the tandem garage. Come outside & tour the deck, outdoor kitchen, boat house, landscaped yard, & Texas basement!

Rick was surprised when Lisa called back and asked him if he was interested in the entire 16 acres of lakefront property, it had one home built last year but the builder had fallen on hard times. The lake belonged to the River authority, but if Rick wanted, he could purchase what had been designed for phase three of the beautiful estates. The best of both worlds, he could drive his dune buggy up the beach a few miles and there was the original development.

He chose the entire 16 acres leaving him complete privacy, once he installed his security cameras, and other improvements. He had lost the love for New York, its cold, snow, angry cab drivers, and being honest, the memories. He moved to his new home 10 months from the day Kate had left for D.C. June 1st marked his first day as a Texas resident, and he loved the changes the decorator had made as well as the total privacy he had.

He hadn't realized just how big 16 acres was, but he was happy that other than his security forces, who were more than pleased to be living on site with him in the guest house, he was alone. He had wooded areas behind him, and the rear of his home opened to the lake view, along with his boat house, an almost one-quarter-mile boardwalk, constructed with treated lumber walkway from the end of his yard to the boats. The boat house would accommodate three boats, that Rick had purchased.

Gina had flown down to visit him the first month after he had moved to attempt one more time to get him back into the family of Black Pawn as a writer, the fans were clamoring since the publication of Terminated Heat, the previous month.

Rick had chosen to have Rook and Nikki go their separate ways, and while she was on vacation she got word he had been captured and terminated on an undercover assignment for the CIA. She never had a clue of just how valuable to her operations he had been or his background in the clandestine operation. It took almost three months of negotiations between two governments to finally return his remains to his only living relative, a sister on Long Island. The book ended as Nikki observed his sister spreading his ashes over the small wishing well in Central Park, the same day she had walked in and placed her shield, gun, and ID on her Captain's desk. It was a sad but fitting end for the characters.

At first, Gina was totally against the killing of another character in his books, Rick reminded her, that his contract gave him control over the content, so she was stuck with the plot line. The twist was that this time he hadn't killed the main character, only one supporting Nikki. It didn't take Gina long to figure out Rick wasn't just killing a character; he was trying to kill the memories of a relationship gone bad.

She felt bad, but she had to tell him, that she was engaged to the principal partner in a book store chain of all things. Rick was happy for her, sincerely, happy. She deserved to be the leading lady; lord knows he never knew what he had. She didn't mention Kate, and he didn't ask.

"Rick, now that you have this BEAUTIFUL mansion, all the privacy in the world, how about"

"Stop Gina, I haven't thought about another character, nor do I want to. Alexis's grandkids are set for life for God's sake, when is it time to relax and enjoy life?" He asked her, beating her to the punch,

"Well, since we're on that topic Rick, and you're positive you have no desire to return to writing, I need to tell you. Tom and I are working with a surrogate to carry our baby, she's four months along so PLEASE keep this quiet; we want to make sure nothing goes wrong. Once the baby is born, I'm done as well." She said with a smile in her eyes,

"Gina, I'm so sorry, I couldn't give you what you wanted, I mean,"

"RICHARD CASTLE, listen to me, it wasn't anyone's fault. Hell, you went through more things with me than 95% of men would, so this is my shot at being a Mom from birth. I'm a mom already as Alexis reminds me so often" she smiled, as Rick smiled.

"I'm afraid we'll both be adding that Grand in front of the Dad and Mom titles soon, she's so grown, so mature. I had to let her go, and that hurt got me over the hurt of losing Kate. I thought I would have her to lean on, turned out she helped just in a different way. You know Genes, I could ALMOST understand it, IF I had lost her to another guy, or hell girl, but a job?" He looked out over the distance,

"Rick, no man would have won that contest, look at those who tried before you and failed, not demeaning her," Gina said,

"No, you're right, speaking of changing the subject, have you and Tom picked a venue yet?" He steered the talk away from one special agent, the less said, the better.

"We've kicked a few spots around, but nothing caught my fancy. He told me to pick where I want because once we're married, I would have to kill him to get rid of him," She laughed

"You're lucky Gina, he's a good man, and he loves you, so if he wouldn't get hurt, how about holding the wedding here, I mean Alexis will be involved somehow, I'm guessing.

"Rick, are you serious, OF COURSE Alexis will be involved, she's my maid of honor, but I mean are you serious about having the wedding here? It would be perfect, the reception as well." She said as she kissed his cheek,

"Of course, I'm serious, just pick a date and talk to Marge, my special events coordinator, whatever you want." He smiled,

"I have to call Tom, he's not going to believe it, now we can start planning for real," She said, took three steps then ran back and kissed his lips gently and took off again.

Rick smiled, he made her happy, it was late but he could finally repay some of her kindness and strength, as he started to put the boat away. That would take a few hours and she was tired.

XxX

12th Precinct

New York

Three Years and Three Months After Rick's move to Texas

Kate hated the AG Job, no other way to put it, she had been lied to and fed a line of bull shit. The cost that Rick had mentioned, brought tears to her eyes just thinking about what a fool she had been. She had called Captain Gates, and there was an opening so she quit and returned to New York. She lost the money on her apartment in D.C. and had to dig into savings to move back to New York at her expense and sublet an apartment until her cousin was moving out in six months.

She was settling back into the Lead Detective role again, not that everyone welcomed her back with open arms. Both Roz and Anne Hastings felt she should have started at the bottom, but were powerless when Gates hired her back.

Routines began to return, including Sunday brunches with her parents, the only events she refused to attend were those with anything to do with The Old Haunt, or Remy's. When the boys and she went for a drink, it was at Gallagher's, although Espo liked the Haunt better, she later learned from a Ryan confession, that they still drank free there.

All she was left with now were the memories of the times when she was the love of his life, him willing to do anything to see her smile, and in the end to keep her. How many times had he swallowed his pride? The man who could have replaced her in a heartbeat? It only made her feel more like a fool than she already did, and her mother's constant reminders didn't help.

Those feelings became worse quickly after she was back in New York when she discovered by accident, well after listening in to the boy's conversation that Rick had moved to Texas just three months before her return. Javi was poking fun at how he would look in a 10-gallon hat, saying he used to think his ego would fill it, but now he knew different. Kevin added that they didn't know what a great guy he was until he left, then quickly changed the subject to the Knicks when he spotted her around the corner.

Many afternoons in D.C, or some one-horse town she was in in a cheap motel, investigating the tax cheat case she had been assigned, she longed for the day when she could walk up to the loft. She longed to see him open the door, take her in his arms as she apologized, begged his forgiveness, and see Martha and Alexis. That dream was over, he wasn't even in the state of New York, she knew she would never have the nerve to face either Martha or Alexis, regardless of the time that had passed.

She had heard how Rick had made his farewell appearance at the precinct not surprised that it coincided when she was in DC for orientation. He had left very thoughtful gifts for everyone he had ever worked with. Roz, Anne, and Lanie all cried, he kissed them on the cheek and told them all to call him if he was ever needed. Even Iron Gates had softened and shed a few tears, so he was loved by everyone, well everyone but by the one who mattered, it appeared.

Once the humiliation of her mistake began to wear off, her life began to fall into a routine, mundane as it was, it was still better than working for the AG's office, and chasing small-time criminals across parts of the United States she had never heard of before and had no desire to ever again. She had always subscribed to the Times, even when she was home based in DC, and now this paper had become her mission each morning.

Each day her routine, even more on the weekend was to scour the society pages for his name, for the latest model, or whatever celebrity on his arm. He never appeared. It was apparent that however, their breakup had affected him, he hadn't returned to his old ways of the Playboy life. She then turned to the literary section and perused the book reviews, searching for anything with his name, once again she was disappointed regularly, he never appears, although Black Pawn has several new writers making waves, not a peep from Richard Castle.

Her days off are the worst, she is faced with dealing with his memory, and her regrets. She had just assumed he had returned to his very active little black book when she left, so she didn't pass up opportunities for a one-night of pleasure, a sexual interlude with a stranger when they came about.

She never gave her name, well her real name, but she had taken all of the precautions for her safety, including having her partner and fellow agent Rachel McCord in the adjoining room. Kate had returned the favor, passing the time of hearing Rachel scream out in pleasure by reading James Patterson's books, another way to punish Rick for not being there for her.

Now she must deal with the guilt, perhaps even shame of her actions while working for the Attorney General. She had never been a prude, but she also had never had been the easy mark in a bar either.

Her one-night stands were never better than when she closed her eyes, pictured a writer's strong, broad fingers on her body, bright blue eyes piercing her, pinning her against the wall, the floor, the table, and pretended the memories of him came true. Each time she was disappointed when she opened her eyes, perhaps a bit sickened for cheapening his making love to her with just sex with some man she barely knew, the man wasn't her writer, another reminder of what she had lost.

His memory was everywhere, even in her new apartment, and she never had to summon his memory consciously day to day, he was always with her in her mind. It's almost as if he haunted the edges of her reality, even offering comments on the way to cases, at least she swore she could hear his voice commenting just as he used to do.

Sometimes she could almost hear his voice as he would remind her, that she needed tea, she hasn't drunk coffee in years, in the mornings or the afternoons in a voice that is so realistic it was almost as if a ghost was with her. One that she is afraid will never leave her life, and in another sense prays never does.

She's concluded that even the ghost of him is better than none of him at all and she doesn't want to be alone, doesn't want to go back to being who she was before he crashed into her world like a meteorite streaking from space. She had no idea of what was to come the night she misused her police powers and crashed his book launch, If Only.

Gates had asked to meet with her this morning, something to do with a confidential matter. Usually, that meant that someone on the brass was retiring and to be ready for a new person, and new ideas. Whom could it be this time, she wondered? She arrived at the precinct early, she was always the first in, and the last out, what other life did she have she thought?

Captain Gates arrived less than five minutes later, and walked by her desk, to get her coffee. "Kate, I hope to God you haven't been here all night. You're in the same position as you were when I said Good Night," she smiled,

"No Captain, I couldn't sleep so I just came in a bit early. I still had that paperwork for the Murkowski case I needed to file with the DA." She said

"Well, why don't freshen your tea, and come to my office, there is a matter we need to discuss privately and the early arrivers will be here soon." She said and sounded more serious than normal.

"Sir, yes Sir. I'll be right there as she hurried to the break room to heat her tea, and quickly made her way to the Captain's office.

"Kate, please close the door and take a seat, and what is said here this morning, must remain here, agreed?" She asked looking over her glasses.

"Of course, Sir," Kate replied.

"Well, I want to thank you for the positive way you have handled the criticism I know you, as well as I, heard when you first returned. I didn't offer my highest recommendation to the AG, without a great deal of thought. I'm sorry Mr. Castle and you reached the end you did, but I won't poke my nose into your personal business.

"What I'd like to talk about is I plan on retiring in six months or less, and you are the only qualified candidate's name I have submitted to the commissioner, and mayor, that is if you still want to climb the ranks here at the NYPD." Gates said as Kate tried to catch her breath,

"Sir, I'm flattered, and to answer your question the position of Captain, especially of this precinct is one that I have desired since Roy first hired me as a junior detective. May I ask Sir, what is prompting this, you are still young, and have plenty of good years ahead of you." Kate said gently,

"That's exactly right Kate, I'm getting out while I can enjoy some life. 28 years of chasing bad people, then bad cops, then management, when is it time to say, time for yourself? My husband is preparing to retire, and our kids are set, so I'd like to be there as his partner, in life, as he's been there for me throughout all these years." She said with a sly smile

"Thank you, Sir, I think you have exactly the right attitude and thank you for your confidence. Do I need to do anything to prepare, sir?" She asked quietly,

"No Kate, other than taking some of your vacation time soon. You need some time away, and a hobby. Trust me, you can burn out quickly in this job." She laughed

"Thanks, Captain, I've been thinking about taking up teaching, my mother is an adjunct and is bugging me to guest lecture her class, and you're correct, I can't live my life with what ifs, and if only. Time marches on" she said, more bravely than she felt,

"Great Kate, I think it would be a good fit, and you would enjoy it, keep me posted will you, and I will you as we move to a timetable of the actual event. That's all, dismissed," she said as some of the early arrivers were just arriving into the bullpen.

"Thank you, Sir," Kate rose turned, and left her office. Inside she was torn, it was the job Mike Royce had spent so many hours turning her from kid to cop, Roy had groomed her for, and Rick had given her the confidence to sit for the exam, so it was more than bittersweet that the men most responsible for shaping her wouldn't be here when it happened. She had to accept what a byline in the paper said recently, "Sometimes Life Sucks" she couldn't agree more, this was one of those times.

TBC

A/N: I wanted Kate to return to New York by HER decision, and see how close she had come to seeing Rick still living in New York. Sometimes it's a harsher punishment to see what COULD have been than what was. I appreciate the reviews, notes, and comments, Thank you all, Watch for the twists, what would a story of mine be if it was on a straight line,