One Last Time Chapter 5, a castle fanfic

One Last Time

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is AU; Kate's mom is alive, still happily married to Jim.! The experiment of Kate and Rick living together, happily ever after is killed when she takes the Fed job only 7 months into their coupling. Only to return to New York 13 months later, BUT Rick isn't there.

I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement purposes, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks. A different outcome from Watershed, at least for now. No Guarantee this will be Caskett Ending, but leaning that way now.

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Chapter 5

Beckett's Apartment

Later That Day

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A/N: Just a note about several notes, MOST very kind and pleasant, reviews, and messages about the location of the plane being diverted to Texas. First, the story never said, implied, or mentioned Heathrow Airport as the point of origin for the flight at all. Secondly, some "Guest" reviewers continue to amaze me with their lack of knowledge of how air transportation works. As a road warrior who flew at least 2-3 times weekly for over 25 years, I can tell you, that some things are too strange to believe. The case in this story is IT IS A PLOT LINE TO MOVE THE STORY ALONG, I think Tank said it well in a PM, But then, how else could Castle wind up finding the perfect place in Texas?

My Point is that THIS is an AU story about a Fictional Show, with made-up characters so sometimes it would be nice to read it as it was written and try not to prove your logic or super knowledge of one area. I checked my original outline for the story, and I failed to add that Rick had flown to Phoenix AZ for a week before he was headed to New York after Alexis booted him out to begin her life, and that was where the diverted flight originated from. It was an error on my part, BUT also has NO BEARING ON THE STORY, it's just a plot point to move to the next event, character, or phase. As I said, most were very kind, those that weren't were deleted.

Kate returned to her apartment after two- and one-half hours of being on top of the world with KJ and being loved unconditionally as only a small child exudes. When she held him, it seemed all of the problems of the world, her world seemed to just disappear, nothing mattered but that sweet baby boy.

She dabbed her eye, as the silence of her apartment shocked her back into reality, if she hadn't screwed up, perhaps she and Rick would have had a little one about the same age by now, again, that damn, IF ONLY. Mike Royce had taught her much more than how to be a good cop, he dispersed a good dose of life's lesson along the way, If only was the saying he always hated and cautioned her about.

"Kid, you have the rest of your life ahead of you, just remember there are no do-overs out here. It's not like the movies when we shoot someone, they don't get up, when we screw up, no one calls cut, and gives us another chance. Remember kid, life is a whole bunch of moving parts, and being a cop is just a small part of that set. Be sure you never have to look back and say IF ONLY when you're closer to my age than yours. Live your life kid, on your terms, and do what makes you happy."

She could almost hear that raspy voice, emphasizing KID, she missed him and wished she could call and ask him how to fix things with Castle. He was one of the first to tell her, to let go, don't fight it, what he saw was real. He liked Castle, and in one way his approval of Rick meant more to her than her own Dad's, he was that important in her life.

Another memory of Rick popped into her head, the time when she got upgraded to first class on the flight to L. A and found he had changed his entire schedule to back her up, solving the murder of a man she had once loved. She had tried to hide it when the phone call came in for the trace, but if anyone knew her bluff, it was Rick.

He knew she loved Royce; he also knew that nothing had happened between them because of Mike's devotion to his dying wife. In reality, she wasn't sure to this day if she wouldn't have pulled the trigger on Ganz if Rick hadn't been there. She flipped the stereo on, another acquired taste of her new love of Country and Western music.

She started sorting the mail she had brought up when the song came on that nearly had her crash to her knees, almost like the world was telling her how badly she had fucked up the best thing she ever had. Her tears fell when she heard the first line of the song, then she lip-synched the remainder of the tune as her tears fell even harder as she clutched the small teddy bear Rick had given her once as a joke when she had been so crabby with everyone before they got together. That damn little bear got her through many nights.

That lonesome Texas sun was setting slow
And in the rearview mirror, I watched it go
I can still see the wind in her golden hair
I close my eyes for a moment, I'm still there

The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight
Like the stars that fill the midnight sky, her memory fills my mind
(Where did I go wrong?) Did I wait too long? Or can I make it right?
The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight

Another town, another hotel room
Another dream that ended way too soon
Left me lonely, prayin' before the dawn
Searching for the strength to carry on

For every heart you break, you pay a price
But I can't forget the tears in her blue eyes

The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight
Like the stars that fill the midnight sky, her memory fills my mind
(Where did I go wrong?) Did I wait too long? How can I make it right?
The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight

The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight

The bluest eyes she knew of that were now in Texas was haunting her every day, and she wondered, was there even a remote chance for her to make things right with him? Had she waited too long, hell, three years, most guys would have moved on by now. She wanted to know, but she was afraid to find out, what if he had moved on permanently? Alexis gave her absolutely no clues at all.

She checked her calendar for upcoming activities, she noticed that her Mom's birthday wasn't far off, so she better purchase her present before she forgot and faced the wrath or worse, the hurt of Johanna. She decided to try a new series of books. Black Pawn had been pushing Alex Conrad as the next Richard Castle, so perhaps his book would be enough to show I love you, even though I wish you would keep your mouth shut about my life.

She took a quick glance in the mirror and decided she HAD to shower before leaving, that little stinker had gotten ice cream in her hair, and made it a mess. She didn't care, she would sacrifice that any time to be with KJ.

Forty-Five minutes later she had applied light makeup and was street worthy to be seen, not that she expected to see anyone that would care. The new bookstore was only a few blocks from her home, and if she could find something, perhaps she could call Remy's for a takeout order. She wasn't sure how much more she could cry today.

XxX

Holton Book Emporium

One Hour Later

This was her first visit to the book store since it opened a few weeks ago, it was one of many that were opening all over the Eastern Sea Coast. She walked in and immediately fell in love with the unique smell only found in bookstores, it had that special aroma, one she always used when she was younger to escape reality, she read to escape things she didn't want to, or have the courage to face.

She remembered winning a trivia contest in college when they asked what the smell of a book store was called. The smell of old books is called 'qa'az' and 'inha'az' describes the smell of fresh, new books, where she learned that from Miss Preusser, the librarian with whom she had spent so many hours when she was young.

She easily found the display for the two Alex Conrad books, and his picture had him trying to look a little like Rick, not even close she thought. She was perusing the two books, trying to decide, finally, she thought what the hell, get her both. She had just gathered a new copy of each when she heard a familiar voice, she knew that voice, who the hell was it?

She turned and saw the blonde hair, Gina Cowell, well Gina Castle Cowell as she was officially known. This was the last place she expected to meet one of his ex-wives, hell they work in the industry, you think they would spend their off hours someplace different.

"Detective Beckett? Kate?" She whirls around at the sound of her name, eyes falling on the petite blonde woman approaching her from the rear of the store. No getting out of here now without talking to her.

"Gina, it's been a long time, how are you doing?" She asked courteously, as they shake hands quickly, firmly. Gina looked as if she just left hair and makeup from a movie set, as usual, she was perfectly coiffed and made-up as she always was, every strand of hair in place, impeccable and high-priced heels and bag on display.

"Kate, I heard you were back, how are you? I'm sorry things didn't work out in D.C. but I'm sure your folks are glad to have you back. What are you doing here?" There is a genuine warmth to Gina's voice, that she hasn't expected.

The last time she had heard from the woman was just after she and Rick returned from Los Angeles, calling exasperatedly at the precinct to chase down chapters she was owed because Rick wasn't answering his mobile.

"Oh, just shopping for a present, my Mom's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. And you? I didn't know you visited bookstores on your time off?" She said sincerely

"My fiancé, Tom Colton owns a majority share in the company, I'll tell the clerk to give you the family discount, she smiled. The friendliness in Gina's tone is genuine, and her sincerity about seeing her had her wondering what to do.

Thanks, Gina, I appreciate that, now that Rick isn't writing, I had to pick another writer, no matter who he or she is he won't be Rick to Mom" she said, with a what are you gonna do look on her face.

"I know the feeling, believe me. I get that emotion every day from teens to grannies in walkers. I even flew down to his new place to try to talk him into allowing us to dust off some old manuscripts that we hadn't published, he was steadfast, he wasn't writing anymore." Gina said with a sadness in her voice that meant she missed more than the loss of revenue from him,

"How's…how's he doing Gina, I mean?" She doesn't need to say anything more, her voice told Gina what she already suspected, that she still cared.

Gina's eyes soften, and the same look of pity that washed over Alexis washes over her. This is how pathetic she's become, reduced to begging for scraps of information from a woman she should hate, one who should hate her.

"Oh, Kate, he's going through the motions, but overall, he's good. He's lost weight, taking time to do things he likes to do, including scuba diving and snorkeling. When I flew down to his new place, it was a palace, believe me, he told me to ask Tom if he wanted to use his place for our wedding next year. Tom is fine with our relationship and agreed if that is where I wanted.

"I do want to tell you this, woman to woman, so you won't hear it from anyone else. Alexis is going to be my maid of honor, and eh, I, well, I asked Rick to walk me down the aisle and he agreed. Weird I know, right, ex-husband gives ex-wife away at her wedding to her new husband" she smiled, and waited,

"Congratulations Gina, and weird or not, if it makes you and Tom happy, and Rick is more than happy to do it, then the hell with what others say. There will always be that bond between you two, you went through a lot together," Kate said, as her face showed the sadness, that she was truly on the outside not knowing anything about him at all.

"Kate…listen." Gina reaches out with a hand and squeezes her forearm briefly. The contact is reassuring and unsettling all at the same time. "I know we've never been on the best of terms, but I don't want anything to remain between us, I mean, I'm sorry for any and all that I did to hurt you. I hope you feel as I do that after a while, time heals a lot of wounds."

"Gina, thanks, we're good, thanks for making the first step, I wanted to, but was afraid that I had hurt you too much." She said,

"I hope you know that everything had been forgiven years ago, Rick and I talked for hours, he has forgiven you, so who am I to hold anything against you? It was a weird setup from day one, you have to admit. Rick and I were never in love. We just…well thought we were compatible. He was my star, handsome writer looking to settle down and provide a stable family life for his daughter.

"To be honest, I fell in love with Alexis before I had romantic feelings for Rick. I was the editor who had an excellent relationship with him professionally, longing to be a mom. We got along well enough, well much better at work than we did at home. On paper it was great, but even writers don't live their lives on paper."

Kate stayed silent, trying to recall the answers they had shared, or fought about when she accused him of seeing Gina too much. He reminded her that she worked with 95% men and he never questioned her faithfulness, if she couldn't trust him perhaps it was better to end it now. He was right she was picking a fight to get more attention,

Finally, she got her voice, "Gina, you two may never have been in love but I dare you to show me one soul on this planet that doesn't know you both love each other. He explained the difference to me when I had a jealous tizzy early on in our relationship. You were one of the things he never backed down on, he told me to accept his relationship with you, or keep looking." She said,

"Kate, I never heard that, I mean, yes, I love him, Tom knows, everyone knows but that doesn't mean I love him as a wife must love a husband. How can anyone not love him, who has he ever hurt? How many people has he helped, his biggest fault, if it's a really a fault is believing in that damn universe theory." Both ladies start to laugh, both had been recipients of heartfelt lectures on why the Universe was in control.

"This isn't my business, and you can tell me to butt out, I don't know what happened between the two of you three years ago, and it certainly isn't my place to ask. Now it's in the open, I do love him, I want him to be happy if you think about it Kate, I was the editor of five long love letters to you disguised as Rook to Heat.

"In the last book, I cried, almost as much or more than when he and I split. I knew something had happened, something bad, and Rick had drawn the line in the sand. Once he does that, there's no negotiation remaining. So, for God's sake Kate, fix it. Fix whatever is broken. Because he deserves you, and you deserve him."

And then, almost as if the damn universe was in control, she watched Gina walk away from her again, a man's arm wrapped around her, she couldn't push aside the symbolism from that dark day when she had watched him walk away from her. The hurt was still as deep today as it was then.

XxX

The Castle

Huntsville Texas

FLASHBACK

Rick had been in the new home, which Gina had aptly named the Castle, for almost six months now. Surprisingly Cathy had been a frequent visitor, they had kept their word, taking things slow, but yesterday was a tough day for Rick, Alexis had called and had Walter institute the plans for Martha's long-term care. It was only assisted living, at least for now, but the prognosis was for a quick decline. No matter what it was, it was the end of an era, as Rick and Alexis faced the fact that Grams only had so many sunrises left here.

Cathy had been by his side when he took the call and agreed with Alexis, he knew it would be the last resort if she called. He held it in, comforting his little girl until she had cried herself out. She told him she loved him and would see him soon. He hung up the phone, just as his tears began to fall.

Cathy took his hand, led him to the bed, and held him, as he cried his heart out. She knew that there were four women in his life he loved more than himself. His Daughter, Mother, Gina, and Kate Beckett, no matter how much he denied it and claimed he was over her.

Cathy had begun to fall in love with him as well, she knew he had feelings for her, so when the comforting stopped the lovemaking began, their first. It was gentle, beautiful, and everything a woman could want in her first lovemaking session, starting from the gentle kisses of comfort to the look into each other's eyes and the progression from there, he even asked her, "Cathy, are you sure, I mean"

She answered his question by taking the lead. In the afterglow, she said softly, "That was worth the wait, at least for me Rick, thank you it was beautiful, and don't even think about asking me if I'm sorry we did it." She laughed as she cuddled into his side.

"What do you want to do now Sweetheart, she asked as she kissed his chin gently, do you want to come back to New York with me, I know how you are about the women in your life you love," she said,

"I was thinking, I would have Janice fly us back when you're ready to go home, I mean don't you have to be at work sometime?" he asked.

She laughed, "One more reason I find you so damn attractive, ok, that I love you, do you realize that is the first personal question you have ever asked me since the plane trip diversion from London." She smiled,

"Well, now that you mention it, I thought that if you thought I needed to know something you would tell me, in your own time," Rick said, as he pulled her into him, it felt good to have someone who was concerned about him lying next to him.

"Could I make a confession to you Rick?" She said as she sat upright and took his hands, locked on his eyes,

"This sounds serious, Cathy,"

He locked on her eyes as she began, "Well, I have one brother, a computer nerd has been forever, making a long story short, he's executive VP of Apple. He started with Jobs, and for a while worried if his paychecks would bounce, but talked me into investing in them at the initial IPO.

"Apple went public on December 12, 1980, at $22.00 per share. The stock has split five times since the IPO, so on a split-adjusted basis, the IPO share price was $. 10. Per share Rick. I invested my total divorce settlement of 130K, so I don't work, other than teaching occasionally. I think you can understand why I don't share that with many people", she laughed.

"You just shared it with me, I mean, I"

"Read between the lines Rick, you're the one who has said often, it's only money, and how much is enough? I want to enjoy my life, just like you, so no matter what happens to us, you're my best friend, and now I can add with BENEFITS to that," she laughed,

Round Two, then Three followed, and for the first time in a long time, Rick saw the bright side of life, no matter how tough. She was a beautiful person, inside and out and he would soon find out, that she was on the boards of some of his favorite charities, yep, the Universe, no one could convince him otherwise.

They would fly to New York, Facetime with Alexis in England, and let her talk to her Grams. He might call Roz, Anne, LT, and Lanie, and introduce Cathy to them at dinner at LeCerque. And anything that Cathy might like to do as well, it was still warm enough for the Hamptons, he still wasn't ready for the loft, not yet. He wanted to meet with Gina and Tom and make sure they were getting what they needed for the wedding planning.

He was going to try to make it a trip of joy, Mother wouldn't want it any other way. Perhaps she would even take a few shots at him in front of Cathy, that would mean she was having a good day.

TBC

A/N: Rick moved slower than Kate but he has found someone who seems to care about him, and doesn't need his money. Thanks for all of the reviews and notes, Appreciated, - Tim