Guess I'm posting two chapter's this week. It's a stress relief (yet I'm posting one of the more heavier chapters…).

TRIGGER WARNING:
- Sexual harassment
- Depictions of self-harm

Chapter Thirteen
First Burn

Tuesday, April 19th

It felt like she had just put her head on the pillow when her phone started to buzz, waking her for the day. Chiyo debated buying a coffee to go from Sojiro, but her funds were beginning to run low. She ended up buying a cheap soda from a vending machine to get her caffeine fix.

Biology with Hiruta just seemed to drag on all morning. If his goal was trying to keep things calm after Friday's events he was unsuccessful. Talks about how Suzui's eyes were devoid of life, how she looked upon a sad, hopeless world. Chiyo tried to drown it out, she was just beginning to get out of her dark place herself. She didn't need a teacher bringing up that sort of thing. Thank goodness Suzui wasn't able to hear this, that sort of talk was sure to do absolute wonders for her mental recovery.

Though his lecture soon turned into one about optical illusions.

Come the end of the day, Chiyo had just barely shouldered her bag, and Morgana, when her phone started to vibrate.

Ryuji: Hey, where are you right now?
Chiyo: I'm still in the classroom. Why?
Ryuji: I'm still at school too. I'm by the staircase outside your classroom.
Ryuji: I thought of somethin' when we were running around the Palace.
Ryuji: Maybe it's cause I haven't been moving around as much lately, but I feel like I'm getting weak.
Ryuji: We're prolly gonna run into some pretty tough Shadows after sending the calling card. We should try to get stronger too.
Ryuji: It's sunny outside. Perfect for training! So, you wanna get your blood pumpin'?

Chiyo pursed her lips in thought. Ryuji certainly made a few valid points, and Chiyo herself could easily falter after a couple of months without training. And it was not as though she had anything else to do after school.

Chiyo: Sure.
Ryuji: Let's do some quick warm-ups behind the gym then.
Ryuji: Oh. Be sure to change into your gym clothes first.

Initially, Chiyo wasn't sure what Ryuji had in mind for training. No doubt the two of them had different thoughts when they heard the word. For Chiyo, training involved flips and folds, pivots and cartwheels, clubs, and ribbons. But it wasn't as though it would hurt to delve into other athletic endeavors.

Outside, behind the gym Ryuji lead Chiyo through the warm-ups he did when he on the track team. "Man," he breathed out as he stretched out his arms and back. "This place brings back memories… This is my secret trainin' spot. Eh… was. Back when I was on the track team."

"Oh," Chiyo breathed out. She hated that she could only come up with 'oh.'

"Actually, I've been ahead about tryin' to run again."

"Wait, really? That's great!"

"Yeah… I guess." Ryuji rotated his shoulder. "Fightin' in that other world was a total shock. I couldn't move like I used to. I just felt… lame."

''Lame' as in 'can't walk,' or 'lame' like 'sucks?'' Chiyo wondered though she ultimately decided not to say anything.

"So I started thinkin', maybe I need to build up my muscles again. Anything's gotta be better than this flimsy body, right? Plus, maybe then I'll be able to help out a little more."

"You seem pretty excited," noted Chiyo.

"I'm totally gonna wreck your expectations!" His eyes contracted at his choice of words. "U-uh, I mean that in a good way! All right, I'm gonna do some knee lift sprints. You're stuck with the normal ones!"

"Knee lift sprints?" echoed Chiyo.

They ran around the school parameters once. Chiyo could feel her heart pounding after the first few minutes. She knew beforehand from PE back home, but she was once again reminded that that gymnastics and running were two different things. She never really worked her legs like this. They were dancer's legs, not runners

But Chiyo kept any complaints she had to herself. Not only was this something Ryuji was getting excited about this, but it also wouldn't be such a bad thing for her to gain a bit of stamina, especially after several weeks without any sort of exercise.

Finishing their lap, Chiyo placed her hands on her hips and tilted her upper body back as she panted. Ryuji was bent over double, catching his breath. "Damn," he said between breaths, "my legs're all tight…"

'Water…' Chiyo thought, wide-eyed. 'Ew is there sweat on my lenses?!'

After a few minutes, the pair were able to catch their breath. Straightening herself, Chiyo removed her glasses and tried to clean the lenses. "Before Kamoshida came along," Ryuji said, standing upright, "the track team was the biggest thing this school had goin' for it."

Curious, Chiyo placed her glasses back on and listened respectfully.

"But all that changed after he got our coach fired and took over as sub," continued Ryuji. He raked a hand through his hair. "That bastard… Right from the very start, he was tryin' to get rid of us. He'd give us crazy workouts, then when we couldn't do 'em, he'd add even more on top of that… Day after day was nothing but that bullshit…

"He was goin' after me especially. He knew… He knew I was the kinda guy who'd fight back. If my time dropped even a little, he'd cuss me out. Then on top of that, he brought up my parents…"

Chiyo couldn't help but bite her lower lip. Her parents divorced when she was eight after a couple of years of semi-regular fights and eight years of resentfulness and ice. So she knew all about sensitive family topics. "And then you punched him," she said out loud.

"Yeah," Ryuji breathed out with a nod. "Truth is, my mom's the only one I got. All my dad did when he was still around was drink. Sometimes he'd even beat me… or my mom. I dunno how that bastard found out, but Kamoshida told the whole goddamn team… And as you can guess, I lost it and hit him."

She brought a fist to her mouth, her lips moving slightly, struggling against the urge to bite her knuckle. On the one hand, it didn't surprise her much, Ryuji was able to tell Kamoshida was the one behind her information being leaked like it was obvious. But, still!

"It was like he wanted to do it though. He called it an 'act of violence,' and shut the team down… Thanks to that, the other guys on the team treat me like some kinda traitor…" Ryuji paused for a moment, his gaze turned away from Chiyo. "And they ain't wrong. 'Cause of me, they all lost their shot at the championship."

"Do you want to go back?" Chiyo asked tentatively.

"To the track team?" Ryuji looked back at Chiyo. "Nah. How could I after that?"

A moment of silence fell between them. Chiyo's lips pursed, her eyes traveled back and forth between Ryuji and the ground. "C'mon," Ryuji crossed his arms, "don't ask me tough questions like that. I'm not very smart, y'know!"

'But you still managed to get into a prep school,' thought Chiyo.

Lightening up, Ryuji clapped Chiyo on the back of her shoulder. "Anyways, it doesn't matter now. That's all in the past! I'm only thinkin' about the future now! That's what we're gonna do - build the future! We gotta think positive thoughts, sister!"

Her head listing to the right, Chiyo's lips pulled into a lopsided grin. Well, Ryuji is nothing if not optimistic.

Without warning, Ryuji got behind her and placed a hand at the small of her back. "You need to work on your posture, though. Keep your back straight," he guided Chiyo's back, then placed both hands on her shoulder and gently pulled them back. "Your shoulder should be pulled back, too. Try imagining you're holding a pencil between them. Keep your head up, eyes forward, and don't look down."

Chiyo stayed frozen in her position as Ryuji demonstrated the proper posture to her. He barely let up, nor did he give her the chance to ask questions. She felt a little ridiculous.

There had to be a better way to hide Morgana away. Chiyo's shoulder was especially aching after running. She felt sluggish as she walked through Leblanc's front door, ignoring the ringing bell behind her. She had gotten a couple of sandwiches and a few cans of cat food on her way back.

"Hey," Sojiro said from behind the bar, sliding a white envelope across the table. "You got something in the mail today."

"Really?"

She took the envelope into her hands, spotting her name typed out with Leblanc's address. But she did not recognize the return address. It couldn't have been junk mail, could it?

Murmuring thanks, Chiyo headed upstairs and let Morgana out of her bag. She laid their food out on the bed; she tore open the envelope. For his part, Morgana remained quiet, opting to stretch out his body in silence. Chiyo read the letter twice before her stomach started to drop. The cold dread that came with realization did not truly hit her until she read it the third time.

It was a phone bill.

Ryou was forcing Chiyo to pay for her smartphone.

Wednesday, April 20th

Chiyo's leg bounced as she ran the numbers over again. The bill would end up sapping most of what Chiyo came to Tokyo with. Subtract the bit of yen she risked to buy a lunch on her way to school, that left Chiyo with ¥2,000. She did the numbers thrice only to come up with the same sum.

Groaning, Chiyo berried her face in her arms. Between the bill and her purchases from her own pocket since coming to Tokyo, that was basically everything she had. Gone because someone else put her name on her phone bill.

She dreaded asking Sojiro if he was okay with her getting a part-time job. She dreaded asking him for anything, lest she risk him getting into one of his rants again. Her only form of comfort was the thought that he expected her to cover her own expenses. Her phone, her meals, clothes, anything she needed or desired, Chiyo wouldn't put it past Sojiro to expect Chiyo to take care of it on her own.

'Better get used to it now,' said a snide little voice in her head. 'You'll have to deal with this daily when your probation's up. Working day in and day out and still coming up with just enough to live off of instant ramen.'

'Fuck you, capitalism...' came Chiyo's own thoughts.

As she sat up, she readjusted her glasses and got her phone out. She searched her numbers for Leblanc's landline when it occurred to her that she didn't have Sojiro's personal number. That was at least partially his doing by design.

"Leblanc," she heard Sojiro's droll voice on the other line, "how can I help you?"

"It's Chiyo," she said instantly.

"You better not have-"

"Are you against me getting a part-time job?" Chiyo asked quickly. "I'm running low on cash, and I figured you weren't going to cover my expenses. Then I thought it was a better idea to ask first before going for it."

The other line went silent. Chiyo wasn't sure if she needed to repeat herself, or if Sojiro was mulling over her question. She opened her mouth to repeat herself when Sojiro said, "So long as it doesn't get in the way of your studies, I don't see why not."

"All right, thanks," Chiyo said with a smile. "I'll try not to be out late."

She knelt down, providing cover for Morgana to jump into Chiyo's bag. "So you're looking for a bit of work?" the cat asked in a hushed tone. "Good on you for taking the initiative."

"Thanks," Chiyo exhaled. "I just don't know where to go from here."

In front of her, Ann shouldered her bag and stood up. "Ann," Chiyo stood up herself, "can I ask you something, quickly?"

"Hmm? What's up?"

"Where would a student need to go to look for an after-school job?"

Ann brought a hand to her mouth, her pointer finger arched over her lip as she thought. "I think there are job magazines by the Shibuya underground. Looking for a part-time job?"

"Yeah, my money's running low and my guardian won't cover the more personal stuff."

"Sound's rough." Ann gave Chiyo a wave of the hand. "But good luck!"

"Thanks."

"Hmm…"

Chiyo looked through the job listings. She found three that would bend to a student's schedule easily; either a convenience store, flower shop, or beef bowl shop. Chiyo never had a part-time job before, her training made it near-impossible for her to. Her money either came from an allowance from Ryou or it was gift money from relatives. So, she wasn't sure what she'd be suited for.

And though the flower and beef bowl shop paid more, Chiyo decided on the convenience store. It paid less, but between school and Sojiro's curfew, Triple Seven seemed the only place that would work both ways.

Chiyo put the fliers for the flower and beef bowl shop back and dug for her phone. "A convenience store, then?" questioned Morgana. "Sounds typical for a student."

"Hush you," Chiyo said, looking back and forth between her phone and the number on the magazine.

"Hi, this is Triple Seven on Central Street," said a pleasant voice on the other line.

"Hello, my name is Chiyo Kusakabe, I'm calling about the job opening," said Chiyo.

"Hold on. I'll get the manager."

Chiyo could make out a couple of muffled voices. "Thanks for waiting," said a man. "So, you wanted to apply for a part-time job?"

"Yes." Chiyo nodded despite no one being in front of her. "I don't have much work experience, but I'm not doing too much after school."

"So you're a student then," said the manager. "We usually plan around a student's schedule. Just mark down the days you're sure you'll come in a week in advance and we'll work around it. I'm always in the store, so you can come straight here. I look forward to working with you."

'Well, that was quick…' Chiyo thought, staring dumbly at her phone. She would have thought the manager would have wanted to meet face to face first.

She headed straight to Shibuya Station Central Street, she almost walked past Triple Seven amongst all the crowded shops. She walked in to find cramped isles, with half-a-dozen customers doing their business. "Welcome!" a female clerk greeted from behind the counter. "We're having a huge sale on all of our hot food items!"

"Hello," Chiyo greeted, "I'm Chiyo Kusakabe, the manager just hired me."

"Ah, you're here," said a middle-aged man in a gaudy blazer of two tones of pink with cyan blue accents. "So, you're Chiyo Kusakabe?"

"Yes, sir."

The manager gestured over his shoulder with his head. "Follow me in back, we'll see if we have a uniform in your size."

Chiyo needed to try on three gaudy blazers before she found something that fit. When he was satisfied, he lead Chiyo back behind the register. "We'll be having you work at the cash register," explained the manager. "Please watch Nanami and she'll show you're the ropes."

He gestured to a girl with her brown hair done in a ponytail. If Chiyo had to guess, she must have been a year older than her. "Hi, I'm Nanami Shibuya," the girl greeted. "I guess I'll be supervising you for a bit."

"I'll try my best," Chiyo said assuringly.

Chiyo hurried down the front stairs of the bathhouse with her things in her arms. Her hair hung loose, still damp and unbrushed. She came out of work with a ¥2,800 pay, but it left her in a rush to get home to Leblanc and clean up before Sojiro left.

She burst into Leblanc, nearly tripping over herself in the process. Bent over double she could hear her phone vibrating from her bag. She dug it out to find an IM from Ryuji.

Ryuji: Looks like rumors about our expulsions' spreading fast.
Chiyo: Of course, it is. Shit.
Ryuji: I guess we did have a pretty big confrontation with him…
Chiyo: I wouldn't be surprised if everyone could hear you….
Ryuji: Doesn't matter though. We're gonna turn the tables.
Ryuji: Everyone'll be totally surprised if we can change Kamoshida's heart.
Ann: I doubt they would believe we were responsible though.
Chiyo: It doesn't matter. So long as it gets done.
Ryuji: I know that. At this rate, we're gonna get expelled. We just gotta pull this shit off, no matter what!

"Hey, you got a minute?" Sojiro's voice caused Chiyo's head to snap up. She placed her phone in her bag before he could catch a glimpse at the conversation.

"What is it?" asked Chiyo.

"How's school going? You're not causing any trouble, are you?"

Chiyo's brow furrowed. Could Kamoshida have called and implied something? "What'd you mean?" she asked tentatively.

He looked at her like she had just asked what two and two was. "Saying things untoward your classmates, picking fights, skipping class."

She wanted to sigh in relief, Kamoshida really was going to wait until the board meeting. But what washed over her was not joy or even calm, but growing irritation. Sojiro wanted to go down this road again? Hadn't Chiyo proven that the first day was an unfortunate fluke? It had been two weeks now, why couldn't Sojiro just ease back? So what if Kamoshida was an issue. Other than that, Chiyo was doing just fine. "No, I'm not," Chiyo said through her teeth, "and school's going just fine."

As soon as Chiyo responded, she thought of the story of Pinocchio; how his nose would grow with every lie. Thank goodness it was only a story, she didn't want to think about how long her nose would be growing right now.

"Good," Sojiro said through a sigh. "I've gotta report to your probation officer twice a month. It's already a pain in the ass as is, so please don't make me have to write even more crap."

Her blood was on fire, her hands were trembling. Oh, yes, Sojiro was so goddamn put upon needing to do a little measly paperwork twice a month. How on earth did he carry such a cross so valiantly?

Who cared about the teenager being branded as a harlot when she didn't do anything? No, no, Sojiro was the one suffering the most.

"You can go and get yourself killed if you want, but don't go dragging other people into your mess. The last thing we need is more idiots like you roaming around-"

"So I'm an idiot for showing some basic human fucking decency?! Fuck you!" Chiyo snapped. She could feel the heat in her face, the rage she felt did not match the intensity she felt when she confronted Kamoshida. No, she wasn't wishing death upon Sojiro, but God, if she wasn't fed up with keeping quiet while he said whatever he wanted at her expense. "Oh, wait, wait. Stupid me, I'm an idiot for not minding my own business. I wouldn't be in this situation otherwise. Obviously, I should have just let that guy rape the woman he was harassing. Seriously. Fuck. You!"

Somewhere along the line, Chiyo began shedding tears of anger. Sojiro looked taken aback by her outburst. Perhaps Chiyo should have simply quit while she was ahead. There was nothing to stop him from throwing her out for talking back like this.

But now that it was out, Chiyo found that she couldn't stop. The months of silence, while everyone in her life hurled insult after insult at her, had finally grown too much for her to handle. Maybe silence really was the best thing she could do, but it was also draining to just let people throw this verbal abuse at her for the sake of keeping the peace.

She wanted to scream, to wrap her hands around someone's neck and shake them. To tell them 'this is what really happened, dipshit,' and be done with it. She was tired of people talking to her like she made a mistake like it was her fault she was in this situation, not the man who did this to her in the first place. Like she really was as violent as they thought, as easy as they thought. Like she was lesser than the masses.

"As unbelievable as it sounds, I do not need your constant reminders," her voice was heavy now. She wasn't bothering to hide her tears. "I assure you, everyone right down to my classmates will not let me forget anytime soon." She took a moment to shrug, a gesture overly exaggerated by Chiyo's heightened emotions. "Not that I need the constant reminders, having lived through everything after all. Don't think I'm ever gonna."

She paused, her breathing shuttered on a sob. Goddamnit, why couldn't they just leave her alone? Everything, everything, had been drilled into her skull enough as it was. Not that they ever needed to. Not when Chiyo spent nights lying awake in tears terrified and overwhelmed.

Boys tempted but ultimately afraid to approach her hoping to get an easy lay. Girls glaring at her behind her back. Everyone thinking she would turn violent over the stupidest thing. Kamoshida thinking he could do whatever he wanted with her body because she was already a harlot. Some boys touching her. The fear that anything she did would be twisted around, blown out of proportion and she would be charted off to juvie. There was no possible way for Chiyo to forget what was at stake, what everyone thought of her.

"But what does it matter?" Chiyo's voice was warbling. "Who cares what happens to me when there's an adult involved?"

She hugged her bag close to her, muffling her sobs as she ran past Sojiro and up to her room. She heard Sojiro call for her in a 'Hey!' Though she couldn't decide if he sounded angry or not. A ring from his phone prevented him from following Chiyo upstairs.

Morgana stood at the head of the stairs, having overheard everything. Chiyo threw her things to the side, not caring anymore if she broke something. Not caring anymore if Sojiro decided to throw her out after that outburst. "H-Hey…" Morgana said meekly, still by the stairs, "I know you're going through something right now, but the Boss is leaving…"

So he wasn't kicking her out.

For now anyway.

Chiyo's chest was heaving something fierce. Her hands were feeling numb, and there was sweat coating her brow. Her senses were hyper-aware, and her thoughts would not stay still. She was going to die if she didn't do something now.

On uneasy legs, Chiyo walked up to her bed and snatched the lighter off the top shelf beside it. She slowly eased herself down onto the floor as she dusted off the lighter. She flicked the lighter on and watched the flame dance in front of her, reflecting brilliantly off her glasses. "H-Hey…" Morgana asked tentatively as he approached Chiyo, "what're you doing?"

The way Chiyo remembered the arrest and trial was that she was jailed for the rest of the night and the trial was held the following afternoon. In actuality, Chiyo was held for two nights and the trial was held the second afternoon. She thought she acknowledged how fast it happened, and she might have been told that he wanted it done before it had to chance to stick around in the public eye. Chiyo was found guilty of physical assault and prostitution. After some discussion between Chiyo's lawyer, probation officer, and Ryou, she was released back into her mother's custody.

There was an unspoken agreement that Chiyo would go to her room as soon as they made it back to their apartment. No sooner had Chiyo closed her bedroom door, she dove for her wastebasket and vomited into it. It didn't matter how often Chiyo told herself that this wasn't happening. It was. She felt the cuffs around her wrists, she felt Ryou's strike across her face and she could feel herself heaving as she vomited.

Chiyo didn't sleep that night. The following morning, she dared to venture into the kitchen and try to put something in her stomach. Ryou was staring at her coffee maker with her arms crossed tight over her chest. Chiyo wasn't deliberately trying to start a conversation with her, but everything she was doing sounded so loud compared to a week ago.

"Your school called a few minutes ago," Ryou said, refusing to meet Chiyo's gaze. "You've been expelled. Obviously. Coach Matsubara has also said that you are not welcomed into her gym. Obviously!" She shot Chiyo a nasty glare with that one. "I will try to get you transferred into Takio's school, but I highly doubt they'll take you."

Without another word, Ryou poured her coffee into a thermos to go. "If you have any affection for me, you will stay in this apartment," Ryou hissed venomously. "I'll look into your schooling situation after work."

The days passed with few words spoken between them. Ryou would inform Chiyo when she was on her own for dinner, which became increasingly frequent. In the meantime, her former classmates found her number and would not stop sending her messages. How she was a slut and no one wanted her. How she should just save everyone the trouble and off herself. Invitations to meet at a love hotel. Requests to show them her…

After about a week, Chiyo borrowed some of Ryou's clothes and snuck out of the apartment. Never before had Chiyo been so unnerved going into Ryou's room until she started to borrow her clothes. Ryou had a couple of art prints from some renowned Japanese artist framed on her walls. Chiyo could feel eyes watching her as she ran her hands through Ryou's belongings, sizing up her mom's pants against her waist. "She'll find out," the prints seemed to say. "She always finds out."

Ryou was avoiding the apartment, or rather, she was avoiding Chiyo. At most, Ryou would drop by for a show and a change of clothes, and then she would leave. Sometimes she would let Chiyo know what was going on, usually, she would let her know when Chiyo had to take care of dinner on her own. It was growing increasingly frequent as the days went on. Chiyo did not doubt Ryou was staying with a male coworker and on-again-off-again lover. Never anything beyond someone to relieve tension with.

It came to the point that Chiyo needed groceries, and sneaking out became a necessity. On the third time she snuck out, Chiyo simply wanted peach-flavored water; she wanted comfort and familiarity. Safety in the disillusion that nothing had changed. So, Chiyo put on a pair of Ryou's jeans, her blouse, and her hooded jacket and walked to the nearest convenience store.

Chiyo kept the hood up, though this was before she dyed her hair, she kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone. She felt like their eyes were on her. She, the nice little gymnast turned violent whore.

In the store, she grabbed a basket, holding it in the crook of her arm as she traveled the shop. She dropped in a couple of bottles of peach-flavored water and a few of her favorite protein bars for the heck of it. She waited in line, making as little small talk with the cashier as she could as the cashier rang her up. After Chiyo gave them the money she owed, she felt a hand plant itself firmly on her ass, another hand cupping her breast.

Whirling around, Chiyo found a boy around her age grinning as though he had just won the jackpot. Behind him was a group of boys, the same age, in matching uniforms. Chiyo had forgotten to consider school hours when she left the apartment. "Firm and supple," the boy said loud enough for Chiyo to hear. "The rack could be better."

"Did you just-?!"

"Relax," the boy said dismissively. "I'm just playing."

Bile started to rise in Chiyo's throat as she snatched up the shopping bag and hugged it close to her. It had grown uncomfortably hot, even though winter was on its last legs. Her heart racing in her chest. "Ask for her number," she heard one of the boy's whisper. "Think she'll be down for a gang bang?"

"And if her prices are too high, genius?"

"There's gotta be enough between us to come up with something."

"Best let her decide what to do. They're saying she attacked the man who rejected her."

The heat steadily grew uncomfortable as Chiyo left the store, choking on tears and struggling to breathe. She could still feel that boy's hands on her, 'Firm and supple' repeated itself over and over in her head. So this was what she was now. Someone who was little more than sex on legs. Someone who reacted with violence when told no. Barely a person as far as everyone else cared.

What did it matter who Chiyo was before all of this? She was a good gymnast with a promising future a year ago. She was a good person, wasn't she? She followed the rules set for her, obeyed the law. So why was she the one suffering someone else consequences?

Society decided who Chiyo was, and that was the end of it.

Though Chiyo tried to hurry home, she ended up stopping more than once. She could feel herself sweating through Ryou's blouse and her bangs. Her heart wouldn't stop racing no matter how many times she paused to catch her breath, even her breathing wouldn't calm down. She was gaping like a fish out of water, yet no one stopped to see if she was okay.

No one paid attention to trash on the street.

When Chiyo finally made it home, she dumped her water and protein bars onto the table and braced herself against it, trying to calm down. She was beginning to feel light-headed and feverish between gasping for breath and the tears in her eyes. There was a tingling sensation in her hands and face. She may end up throwing up again.

Oh, god, she was going to die…

With shaking hands, Chiyo reached across the table for the house phone. She just wanted a friend right now, a kind voice. Someone who wouldn't judge her. She needed her cousin Takio.

Chiyo found the phone under Ryou's tax and legal papers. She sunk onto her knees as she punched in her aunt and uncle's home phone number. As she waited for someone on the other line to pick up, Chiyo's body was trembling, tears simply streaming down her face. The moister and heat were beginning to cloud her glasses; she'd worn contacts religiously since she was allowed to at the age of twelve. But who was Chiyo trying to impress now that she may as well have been under house arrest?

The other line finally picked up; Chiyo opened her mouth, ready to ask if she could speak with Takio. But the other end abruptly hung up. Her whole body turned as cold as ice. Did her own relatives want nothing to do with her now? No… No!

Chiyo was just being silly. Something simply happened on the other end. She'd just call Takio's personal phone and…

She got his voicemail when she tried calling...

So, Chiyo really was alone in all of this. Her classmates, her cousin, her coach, her parents, had all washed their hands of her.

Her hand went over her mouth as Chiyo was wracked with sobs. How did this happen to her? Hadn't Chiyo obeyed the laws, listened to her elders? So how did it come to this?

She tried screaming and she didn't care if anyone else in the building heard her. Then she screamed again. She screamed until her throat was raw, but it wasn't enough. This chaotic feeling, this sense of despair and hopelessness clung to her like a baby duck clung to its mother. She just wanted it to stop. She didn't want to feel anything.

Chiyo struggled to climb to her feet; after a bit of trial and error, she stood up. She went straight for the ceramic bowl Ryou had where they put some odds and ends in. There was a cigarette lighter that belonged to Ryou's coworker slash friend with benefit. It was only ever used when he came over. But, odds were, it would ultimately go unmissed.

She held the lighter to her chest as Chiyo hurried to the bedroom, gasping for breath. Her fingers fumbled as she tried to open the window. Once she got it done, Chiyo sat on the floor by the window and lit the lighter. She kept the flame going for as long as she could. After she extinguished the fire, she brought the hot metal of the lighter into her opposite hand.

She choked on her scream, pain searing into her skin. A fresh set of tears picked at Chiyo's eyes. And then…

Nothing.

She could breathe again.

Chiyo extinguished the flame on the lighter. She readied her left hand and lowered the lighter to the skin. Before the hot metal could make contact, a white paw flashed across Chiyo's vision, batting the lighter out of her hand. It tumbled onto the floor, away from her but still within reach. Morgan sat in front of Chiyo on his back legs, retracting his arm, his glare somehow effective despite looking like a house cat. "What was that for?!" snapped Chiyo.

"Seriously?!" Morgana's voice cracked. "I mean, wow, I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to do that! That wasn't the first time you did that either, was it?!"

Chiyo looked away, absently thumbing at her first burn and feeling the weight of the marks on her wrists. They were healing, but she wasn't sure if they would scar or not.

After her first burn, the reality of what she had done began to set in. And Chiyo had no idea how to dress the wound. She wrapped it and got an ice bag for it, then looked up online how to properly care for it without going to the hospital.

When she had calmed down, when she closed the window and took care of her water and protein bars, all she could do was stare at her injured hand. Her body had turned cold again the longer she stared at it. Chiyo had hurt herself, and she liked the numbing sensation she got as a result of the pain.

And that scared her.

But that fear didn't stop her from later putting a knife to her wrist.

A new set of tears threatened to well up in the corners of Chiyo's eyes. She knew to hurt herself wasn't the answer, but it was the only way she could get some sense of release. And now, having someone confront her about it... The self-loathing she felt over it... it just came out in such a subdued manner. "Goddamnit…" Chiyo tried to dry her eyes. "The fuck's wrong with me?"

At her side, Morgana jumped onto the edge of Chiyo's bed to meet her in the eye. "You just have a lot of intense emotions that want to get out," Morgana said kindly. "And in this case, letting some of it out at the Boss wasn't enough. But there are better ways of releasing these emotions."

Chiyo brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them close to her. "I know that," she murmured. "I know that. So why did I resort to…?"

"Because you were on your own back then." Morgana proceeded to puff his chest. "But luckily you're now living with a highly knowledgeable roommate."

A slight chuckle escaped Chiyo's lips as she scratched the back of Morgana's ear. "Roommate, huh?" she asked. "From an outside perspective, you're probably more of a therapy cat."

"Well, either way, I'm doing the gentlemanly thing by helping a lady in need." He took a moment to stretch out his back. "You're generally so together in the Palace, leading us through, talking down Shadows, it's a little easy to forget you're a lady, too."

"Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?"

"Kind of. I'd like to think of myself as a guy who could sweep a lady off her feet. But the kind of girl who can handle a lot. I would think there are people out there who prefer that."

Chiyo's shoulders shook as she laughed. She stood up and dusted off the back of her skirt. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow."

"Even if you do, I want you to pick up a few things. I know of a better alternative the next time you have some intense feelings."

"Sure thing."

As Chiyo disappeared downstairs, Morgana jumped nimbly to the floor off the bed. He was going to have to dispose of the lighter so Chiyo wouldn't try anything again if she felt the urge. And if she did, he swore to himself that he would inform Ann and Ryuji. Hopefully, they would be able to get her the proper help.

The Chariot Rank 2

Authors Note: I'll admit some of Chiyo's experience with self-harm was based off of a personal experience. My method didn't involve blood or burning, in fact at the time I wasn't sure it counted as self-harm, it wasn't even a habitual occurrence. It was just the only thing I could think of to stop an oncoming panic attack. And what was probably the worst part, not too long after I met my new therapist, she taught me a grounding technique our first session.

Sucks, but I do think Chiyo was in need of a nice good, breaking point moment. The fact of the matter is, even if you understand that silence is probably your best weapon, it's hard to keep quite while someone just berates you, berates you, berates you. Especially when they clearly don't have the full story and when they clearly don't care about the full story.

I wouldn't say Chiyo, nor Sojiro, is particularly in the right. Neither have much of a reason to trust the other, neither were making an effort to change that. But at the same time, Chiyo probably doesn't need the constant reminders of what could happen if she steps out of line. And on the other hand, Sojiro really isn't asking too much from her.

Still, good on Sojiro for giving a distressed girl her space. Or at the very least, realizing that Chiyo doesn't want to speak to him at the moment.

Originally the issue of Chiyo's phone never came up. But I eventually realized that if Chiyo was pretty much disowned, it's unlikely that Ryou would waste money paying for her smartphone.